X-Play Quotes

X-Play

- Episode Quotes

Fun Facts:

	Unknown Episode: Blaire Butler: [Dreaming] Really Batman? You want me to be your sidekick? O.K. Just as long as the Robin suit has pants not... thank you so... [Wakes up] Blaire Butler: Kirsten Holt? Kirsten Holt: You've been talking about joining the Justice League for the past 2 Hours. Blaire Butler: Sorry, It's a personal fantasy. [Looks down & sees shes cuffed to Kirsten] Blaire Butler: What the hell? Did you do this? Memory Card: Not even close. This room is filling up with a deadly nerf gas. Blaire, surrounding you are you're favorite comic books. Within one of them is the key to you're survival. Kirsten Holt: Well then why am I here? Memory Card: Kirsten Holt, you've always cheated out of video games. To your right is a hand gun. Inside the chamber are three rounds. let's see if you can... [Hear gunshot and see Blair shot] Memory Card: What the... Why the hell did you do that? Blaire Butler: You F$#%ing shot me! Kirsten Holt: Ohhhhhh. I Thought you were gonna tell me to shot her?
	Unknown Episode: Aquaman: Gaze, upon your enemy. [reveals himself] Adam Sessler: The gay pirate?
	Unknown Episode: Adam Sessler: [during the "Meet the Sess" segment] You like Xenosaga? What the fuck is your problem?
	Unknown Episode: Morgan Webb: [talking about the game "Michael Jackson's Moonwalker" for the Sega Genesis] It is sort of ironic that he was rescuing small children from predatory men in it. Adam Sessler: He's also rescuing them from ninjas! Morgan Webb: I would really like to see a ninja molestation trial. Adam Sessler: Bet that would give a whole new meaning to the term "blow dart". Morgan Webb: You're weird. Adam Sessler: Hah!
	Unknown Episode: announcer: Dude, where's the party at? 'Cause it ain't with Adam Sessler and Morgan Webb! Adam Sessler: There's a party here! Morgan Webb: Speak for yourself, Sessler.
	Unknown Episode: Morgan Webb: Hello and welcome to X-Play, the show that brings you merciless game reviews such as this one: Adam Sessler: Splinter Cell for the Nintendo DS... still sucks!
	Unknown Episode: Adam Sessler: [after having given "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Melee" a 1 out of 5] All right, in case you don't understand, don't buy this game! Don't rent this game! Simply insert it into the toilet and flush, and if the Blockbuster employees try and stop you... run.
	Unknown Episode: Adam Sessler: And we have World War II, the game. Adam Sessler: Again. Morgan Webb: Yes, it's another damn World War II flying game. I wish I cared, but I don't! Adam Sessler: But first, we start with World War II; oh, if I had a nickel for every time I said that, I could finally afford to buy myself a pony. Morgan Webb: [excited] You like ponies too? Adam Sessler: Yes!
	Unknown Episode: Morgan Webb: We, uh, do a lot to endear ourselves to the Canadian viewers. Adam Sessler: Wait, aren't you Canadian? Morgan Webb: Only when it suits me.
	Unknown Episode: Adam Sessler: And the PS3, I don't know how expensive that's gonna be, but I'll sell one of my kidneys if need be. Morgan Webb: You still have healthy and functioning kidneys? Adam Sessler: I didn't say healthy and functioning!
	Unknown Episode: Morgan Webb: [after discussing the Naked Raiden segment of Metal Gear Solid 2] Welcome to my world, Sessler. Welcome to my naked, cartwheeling world. Adam Sessler: Thanks for having me.
	Unknown Episode: Morgan Webb: Bad music in games causes gamers a sharp, sudden pain not unlike a swift kick to the testicles... not that I'd know what that felt like.
	Unknown Episode: Adam Sessler: [after the review of EA's Marvel Nemesis: Rise of the Imperfects] Okay, now I have to bring this up; unlike Marvel vs. Capcom, which uses actual Capcom characters to fight Marvel icons, this game just made up some cheap-ass original characters. EA, if you want to make a fighting game, we wanna see some of your iconic characters! I wanna see John Madden stomp on Ironman's ass! I wanna see Wolverine finally attack The Sims! And I wanna see Frodo's furry little foot up Daredevil's ass! Morgan Webb: And I wanna see Tiger Woods attack Spiderman just because I would find it funny. Adam Sessler: That's not the point!
	Unknown Episode: announcer: Three cheers for Adam Sessler and Morgan Webb! Adam Sessler: Let's be honest. We only merit two cheers... out of three.
	Unknown Episode: Morgan Webb: Your enemies will leave you with words of wisdom before they die. Video Game Character: Women are... scary. Morgan Webb: Charles Foster Kane, you are not.
	Unknown Episode: Adam Sessler: [reviewing NBA Live 06 for the GameCube, PS2 and XBox] The player models are a bit funky. Okay, guys, here's what a real basketball player looks like. Adam Sessler: And here's what they look like in NBA Live 06. Adam Sessler: They kinda remind me of those creepy marionettes from my nightmares. Creepy marionette from Adam's nightmares: You belong to us now, Sessler! Adam Sessler: [frightened] Ahh! Creepy marionette from Adam's nightmares: [evil, menacing laugh]
	Unknown Episode: Adam Sessler: Funny... you get caught wearing women's lingerie and biting a lady just once in your career and no-one ever forgets it. Morgan Webb: Didn't you cross-dress in this show a couple of times? Adam Sessler: I'm not ashamed. Morgan Webb: [mouthing to the camera] Adam Sessler: I am ashamed!
	Unknown Episode: Morgan Webb: [after the Splat: Renegade Paintball review] For a game about non-lethal violence, it sure makes me want to kill the developers!
	Unknown Episode: Morgan Webb: [after the 25 to Life review] Crunk-Exclamation-Mark-Exclamation-Mark energy drink sounds tasty.
	Unknown Episode: Video Game Character: [Adam playing Lifeline; in the game, Rio is trying to shoot a monster] Isn't there a better target? Adam Sessler: Yes, your head!
	Unknown Episode: Morgan Webb: Yay, we're topical! We're addressing issues ripped from the headlines, just like Law & Order: SVU. And that's the kind of quality programming you can only get on G4. Adam Sessler: And... Emmy-award-winning Fastlane. Morgan Webb: I want an Emmy... Adam Sessler: No dice!
	Unknown Episode: Adam Sessler: You know, games like "Metroid Prime 2: Echoes" and "Prince of Persia: The Two Thrones" always make me wonder what Evil Adam is like. Morgan Webb: He's probably a brunette. Adam Sessler: And he'd probably have better bladder control. It's kinda hard to be evil when you're doin' the pee-pee dance. Morgan Webb: I wonder what Good Morgan is like. Adam Sessler: Probably a lot like Reese Witherspoon. Morgan Webb: But deadlier!
	Unknown Episode: Adam Sessler: [after having given Asheron's Call: Throne of Destiny a 2 out of 5] Ok, I know we're gonna get hate mail from the Asheron fans - both of you - but come on, the graphics in this game are horrible! This looks like something the PS1 threw up! Morgan Webb: And when you have to downgrade in order to play this game, Houston... we have a problem. Adam Sessler: This makes Zork look brilliantly entertaining, and visually stunning! I think it's time to stick a fork in this one - it's done.
	Unknown Episode: Adam Sessler: [after Naturo: Ninja Council gets a 1 out of 5] You know, I ran for ninja council in the 10th grade and lost to an exchange student from Paraguay named Esmarelda. Morgan Webb: Oh yes, Paraguay, the retirement destination of choice for all of your big-name former Nazis. Adam Sessler: I always did suspect that she had fascist ties. Morgan Webb: Yeah, they are good at maintaining a firm grasp on power. Adam Sessler: No, I mean I always suspected her neckties were fascist. They had swastikas and caricatures of Jews on them. Morgan Webb: Why was a 15-year-old girl wearing neckties to high school? Adam Sessler: I always thought it was part of her culture.
	Unknown Episode: Morgan Webb: When a country declares war on itself, everyone's a winner! Just like everyone was a winner when Blair co-hosted the show last week. Adam Sessler: [emotionally hurt] You are so mean! Morgan Webb: Awesome, yes. Adam Sessler: [growing agitated] I've worked with you for so long, gaaah!
	Unknown Episode: Morgan Webb: Welcome to X-Play. We're sorry.
	Unknown Episode: Roger the Stan Lee Experience: GET THE $&%@OUT OF MY OFFICE!
	Unknown Episode: Morgan Webb: [while reviewing the Da Vinci Code game] Here's an anagram for you: THIS GAME SUCKS. When you unravel it, it becomes: THIS GAME SUCKS.
	Unknown Episode: Morgan Webb: Poppycock!
	Unknown Episode: Morgan Webb: I'm fancy

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