Women's Murder Club Quotes

Women's Murder Club

- Episode Quotes

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Women's Murder Club Quotes

	Season 1 / Episode 11: - Father's Day Cindy Thomas: I'm a pancake, I'm a pancake, I'm a pancake...
	Season 1 / Episode 10: - FBI Guy Heather Donnelly: I'm gonna be Heather Hogan from 'Hobokin'!
	Season 1 / Episode 10: - FBI Guy Heather Donnelly: Lindsay Boxer's a great name. I'm going to be Heather Hogan! Lindsay Boxer: Heather Hogan is not a bad name. Heather Donnelly: It's ridiculous. Heather Hogan. Heather Hogan from Hobokin! Lindsay Boxer: Well, when you say it like that... Heather Donnelly: That's how Tom's mother says it. Lindsay Boxer: Tom's mother says everything in that vile manner. It's part of her charm.
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - The Past Comes Back to Haunt You Cindy Thomas: The guy who's on death row, I sort of met his son, Jamie. Jill Bernhardt: How'd you meet him? Cindy Thomas: Just... around. You know, I, I meet people. Lindsay Boxer: [skeptical] So between the last time we saw you and now, you met Paul Galvan's son? Cindy Thomas: Please don't give me the laser vision; it makes me really nervous. [Lindsay continues staring] Alright, alright. I wasn't going to say anything before because this is going to sound really, really bad but it actually isn't so just hear me out. Jamie... got into my car at the crime scene. Claire Washburn: You went off with a total stranger? Have we taught you nothing? Cindy Thomas: He said he had a gun... Claire Washburn: What? Jill Bernhardt: Are you ok? Lindsay Boxer: He kidnapped you? Cindy Thomas: He was very sincere! And not about the gun, he made that part up. Lindsay Boxer: He kidnapped you! Cindy Thomas: Not really. Jill Bernhardt: Pretend gunpoint. Still counts as being restrained against your will. Claire Washburn: Let's take you to the hospital. Get you checked out. Cindy Thomas: He didn't touch me! I'm fine. Lindsay Boxer: Tell me everything. Start with a description. Cindy Thomas: Umm, ok, he was kinda... cute. [Jill winces; Lindsay pinches her nose] And he had a little blood on his shirt. [Jill winces harder] Lindsay Boxer: More, please.
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - The Past Comes Back to Haunt You Lindsay Boxer: Excuse me, none of this proves that "cute" Jamie Galvan didn't kill Ben Cooper last night. Cindy Thomas: Jaimie didn't kill anyone. Jill Bernhardt: I'm with her. Claire Washburn: I'm undecided, but sympathetic. Lindsay Boxer: I'm touched that everyone wants to see the best in people. I am a cop. I don't have that luxury. Cindy Thomas: You go on your gut all the time. You can take one look at a guy... Lindsay Boxer: And I haven't seen Jamie Galvan, because after he kidnapped you, he fell off the face of the earth. [Cindy looks away guiltily] By which I mean no one has heard from him, am I right? Cindy Thomas: [unconvincingly] Yeah. Totally. Jill Bernhardt: Worst. Liar. Ever. Lindsay Boxer: Don't make me charge you with obstruction. Cindy Thomas: Every time a girl gets a little flustered you start whipping out the charges! Claire Washburn: Please spare us all the pain of watching you try to bluff! Cindy Thomas: I'm not bluffing! I'm... if Jamie were to have sent me a text message, say... this morning, I would have promised to keep that text message a secret!
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - The Past Comes Back to Haunt You Cindy Thomas: Listen, my instincts are telling me... Lindsay Boxer: Shh. You: not old enough to have instincts.
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - The Past Comes Back to Haunt You Claire Washburn: [chuckling] I mean, at least we know you're not pregnant. [off Lindsay's guilty look] . I mean we'd be talking about an immaculate conception, right? Lindsay Boxer: Well, I may have had a one night stand. Claire Washburn: Girl, a one night stand is a big step forward for you! Okay, in a way, who's the guy? Lindsay Boxer: [mumbling] Tom. Claire Washburn: Tom? Lindsay Boxer: Yes. Claire Washburn: Tom? Your ex-husband-slash-boss-who's-getting remarried-in-a-matter-of-weeks-Tom? Okay, really more of a backward step. Oh my God! And no one thought to use protection? Lindsay Boxer: Ye-Yes! We did. We thought that- The condom was kinda old. Claire Washburn: How old was this antique condom? Lindsay Boxer: Oh, you know what? Let's not go down that road. Claire Washburn: Latex is very durable. Lindsay Boxer: Okay, please don't focus on that point. It was a one time thing. Claire Washburn: Oh my God. Lindsay Boxer: It was a mistake! Claire Washburn: Oh, my God! Lindsay Boxer: Whatever! Will you stop saying 'Oh my God'?
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - The Past Comes Back to Haunt You Claire Washburn: I'm not cutting this man open until you tell me what's wrong. Lindsay Boxer: OK, look, just between us... it's the third week of the month. At least it's supposed to be, for me. But it's not. Claire Washburn: [Looks Confused] Lindsay Boxer: I'm Late! Claire Washburn: Late. You work too hard, you don't eat right, cycles get off balance sometimes. I mean, at least we know you're not pregnant. Lindsay Boxer: [Lindsay gives a weak smile and looks uncomfortable] Claire Washburn: I mean we'd be talking about an immaculate conception, right? Lindsay Boxer: Well, I... may have had a one night stand. Claire Washburn: Girl, a one night stand is a big step forward for you! OK, in a way. Who's the guy? Lindsay Boxer: [Under her breath] Tom. Claire Washburn: Tom? Your ex-husband-slash-boss-who's-getting-remarried-in-a-matter-of-weeks Tom? OK, really more of a backwards step. Oh my God! And no one thought to use protection? Lindsay Boxer: Yes!... We thought... The condom was kinda old. Claire Washburn: How old was this antique condom? Lindsay Boxer: Oh, you know what, let's not go down that road. Lindsay Boxer: Latex is very durable. Lindsay Boxer: Please don't focus on that point. It was a one time thing. Claire Washburn: Oh my God. Lindsay Boxer: It was a mistake! Claire Washburn: Oh! My! God! Lindsay Boxer: Whatever! Will you stop saying 'oh my God'?
	Season 1 / Episode 5: - Maybe, Baby Jill Bernhardt: How can you have such a gross job and still be more emotionally stable than the rest of us? Lindsay Boxer: Speak for yourself.
	Season 1 / Episode 5: - Maybe, Baby Lindsay Boxer: And sometimes she even falls asleep on my pillow. Jill Bernhardt: Aww. That's number thirty-seven NOT to get a dog. Lindsay Boxer: What? It's cute. Jill Bernhardt: I already told Luke no. It's too dangerous. Jill Bernhardt: They're practice for the 'K' word. Lindsay Boxer: Cats? Jill Bernhardt: Kids.
	Season 1 / Episode 5: - Maybe, Baby Lindsay Boxer: You wanna mess with me?
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Grannies, Guns and Love Mints Jill Bernhardt: I think somebody doesn't want to talk about it because it went a lot better than she wants to let on. Cindy Thomas: Did it go a lot better? Lindsay Boxer: Oh, alright, you got me. It might have been the best date I've ever been on. We had an unbelievable dinner, and we talked until they closed the restaurant, and then we went home and had sex all night, and I really and truly believe that this guy is the one. Cindy Thomas: Oh, defensive sarcasm. It went well. Jill Bernhardt: Very well. Lindsay Boxer: It did not go well. It did not go anything. Why do you even care?
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Grannies, Guns and Love Mints Tom Hogan: I mean, she barely got through our wedding. Jill Bernhardt: It really wasn't her fault, was it? Tom Hogan: I guess not. My family can be a little... Trying. Jill Bernhardt: A little? Your brother stuck his bare ass in the wedding cake. Tom Hogan: But, in his defense, it had been cut. Jill Bernhardt: Goodbye.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Grannies, Guns and Love Mints Claire Washburn: Nice vacation, good last meal, couple drinks on the plane, and you doze off during end-flight movie. Not a bad way to go. Cindy Thomas: I hope I go in my sleep. Jill Bernhardt: I want to go on top of Clive Owen. You die your way, I'll die mine. Lindsay Boxer: I don't want to die, period. Why are we even talking about this?
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Grannies, Guns and Love Mints Lindsay Boxer: Oh, right, you're getting married. Lindsay Boxer: Soon. Tom Hogan: You knew that. Lindsay Boxer: Yeah, but this is really soon. Tom Hogan: You know, I liked our invitations better. They were less fancy. Lindsay Boxer: Gee, thanks.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Grannies, Guns and Love Mints Claire Washburn: Hello. To what do I owe the pleasure? Lindsay Boxer: I'm just checkin' in. They are not with me. Claire Washburn: Oh, I guess this means I don't get to hear about your date?
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Grannies, Guns and Love Mints Claire Washburn: Nothing surprises me these days. Scratch that. Now the detective that just asked out Lindsay over a corpse, that surprised me.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Grannies, Guns and Love Mints Claire Washburn: I didn't even know the damn thing was there until I felt it crunch under my shoe. Lindsay Boxer: Eww. Was it a finger? Lindsay Boxer: Well I don't know.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Grannies, Guns and Love Mints Warren Jacobi: [after Lindsay has tackled a suspect into the pond] You handcuffed him underwater? Very impressive, Houdini. Lindsay Boxer: Don't you sweet talk me. You could've tackled him. Warren Jacobi: I just got this suit.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Grannies, Guns and Love Mints Fong: Hey, Boxer. How was your date? Lindsay Boxer: That's it. [Lindsay stands on her desk and whistles loudly] . Listen up, I have an announcement! Since everyone seems to be so damn interested in my social life, yes, I went on a date. It was a one time thing, I am not officially on the market. And even if I was I wouldn't go out with any of you losers. Okay? [without turning around] Stop staring at my ass, Fong!
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Grannies, Guns and Love Mints Lindsay Boxer: How long's he been in there? Warren Jacobi: About twenty minutes. Lindsay Boxer: Good, he should just be getting squirmy by now. Warren Jacobi: And hot! I turned the heat up in there before he got here. Lindsay Boxer: You are evil. This is why I love you.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Grannies, Guns and Love Mints Warren Jacobi: You also got a phone call from your boyfriend, Harold. Says he needs to talk to you. Logan Young: That's who you should be talking to if you want to know what's going on at Pacific Shores. Especially with Edna, since Harold was sleeping with her. Lindsay Boxer: Shut up! Logan Young: He was. Her, Winnie, and several others. Look, there's more bed-hopping going on at a retirement community than at a swingers club. Trust me. I've walked in on things no man should ever see. Warren Jacobi: Must be his "love mints". Lindsay Boxer: He is half-past 100 and Edna was a sweet old lady. Logan Young: There old, not dead. Bet she was having more sex than you are. [Jacobi snickers.]
	Season 1 / Episode 3: - Blind Dates and Bleeding Hearts Cindy Thomas: I looked for a press area, but there wasn't one. Lindsay Boxer: That's because a prostitute slaying in this part of town at 3 AM isn't news. Cindy Thomas: Did you know that the crime desk assignment came with a pepper spray keychain and a police scanner? It's like my new Tivo; I can't turn it off. Lindsay Boxer: Cho, why are you standing here socializing when there's potential evidence three feet behind you? Officer Sam Cho: um... Lindsay Boxer: Unless this is your purse, Cho. Cindy Thomas: [mouthing to Officer Cho] Sorry.
	Season 1 / Episode 3: - Blind Dates and Bleeding Hearts Lindsay Boxer: Any more questions, Lois Lane? Cindy Thomas: Yeah, cocktails, nicknames. Does this mean that I am...in the club? Lindsay Boxer: Okay, there are a few ground rules. Cindy Thomas: I already know a few. No ducking the tape at crime scenes, no first names in public, assume that everything is off the record until I'm told otherwise. What else? Lindsay Boxer: Make me laugh when the chips are down. Jill Bernhardt: If I'm wrong, tell me I'm wrong. Even when you think I don't want to hear it. Claire Washburn: Keep my secrets. Trust me with yours. Oh, and buy me shoes on my birthday. Cindy Thomas: So, I'm...I'm in? Lindsay Boxer: [hands Cindy the check] You're in.
	Season 1 / Episode 3: - Blind Dates and Bleeding Hearts Cindy Thomas: I just wanted to make sure I didn't get sweet, Officer Cho in trouble. He was totally doing his job. Lindsay Boxer: Then why were you bothering him? Cindy Thomas: I was doing my job. Lindsay Boxer: Okay, if, and this is a big if, we're going to have a relationship, we have to set up some ground rules. Cindy Thomas: Okay, I'm ready. Lindsay Boxer: First, if it looks like I'm to busy to talk, I am [walks away]
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - Train in Vain Tom Hogan: This isn't supposed to be personal Lindsay. Lindsay Boxer: It is to me!
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - Train in Vain Lindsay Boxer: Luke's pretty amazing in action. Sexy, even. Except the part where he kept telling me to get lost. [smiling] Naw, that was kinda sexy, too. Jill Bernhardt: Yeah, he's great. Lindsay Boxer: You say, 'he's great', the way people say green tea is great. Like we're supposed to drink it but we really want to drink coffee. Jill Bernhardt: You heard all that in my voice? Lindsay Boxer: Is there someone else? Someone a little more coffee? Jill Bernhardt: No. This is not about green tea or coffee. I haven't told him I sleep with a weight machine. Lindsay Boxer: You do know cops are like human lie detectors. Jill Bernhardt: It happened once. It's not an affair. Lindsay Boxer: [shocked] Who?! Jill Bernhardt: I'm not going to tell you... Lindsay Boxer: You're so telling me who! Jill Bernhardt: Hanson. Lindsay Boxer: Ewwww!
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - Train in Vain Cindy Thomas: You're going to miss me when I stop coming around. Lindsay Boxer: Give me a chance to find out!
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - Train in Vain Cindy Thomas: Hey! Hey, uh, can I officially release Artie Lazar's name? Lindsay Boxer: How are you always around? Cindy Thomas: I'm good at what I do. Lindsay Boxer: Yeah, sure, we're on the record. Cindy Thomas: So, uh, am I in the club? Lindsay Boxer: There is no club! Cindy Thomas: Oh yeah, I am in.
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - Train in Vain Lindsay Boxer: [to witness she's trying to get to talk] I will not call ATF on you, I promise. Lindsay Boxer: [later after they got their information] [in disbelief] You're going to call ATF on that guy? Warren Jacobi: Well you can't; you promised.

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