WKRP in Cincinnati Quotes

WKRP in Cincinnati

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WKRP in Cincinnati Quotes

	Season 4 / Episode 22: - Up and Down the Dial Mama Carlson: Dr. Fever, in every business, there are not pluses and minuses, but pluses and pluses... but only if the minuses are played correctly. [Fever looks at Mama Carlson, bewildered] You don't understand, and I don't expect you to... Johnny 'Dr. Fever' Caravella: [interrupting] No. No, I understand. This is so deeply warped that even I can make sense of it. KRP is not supposed to make money! We're set up to lose! That's our job.
	Season 4 / Episode 22: - Up and Down the Dial Andy Travis: [Andy and Venus have just showed up at Mama Carlson's house, and both are drunk. Venus is holding Andy up] Mrs. Carlson... I'm tired of your crud! Venus Flytrap: Yeah! [falls to floor] Andy Travis: And I've got three things I want to say to you... number two... [falls to floor]
	Season 4 / Episode 22: - Up and Down the Dial Mama Carlson: [reading to Andy the summary of a report prepared by a programming consultant she has hired to suggest format options] WKRP's Top 40 audience is at its peak. The sound quality of the AM signal cannot compete with FM stations. If WKRP is to remain profitable in the long run, we suggest switching to a non-music format... all news. Andy Travis: Well, I'm sorry... I don't know anything about programming an all-news station. Mama Carlson: That's why I hired Mr. Von Sanker.
	Season 4 / Episode 11: - You Can't Go Out of Town Again Les Nessman: When someone plays mind games with Les Nessman, they're walking on thin ice.
	Season 4 / Episode 9: - The Consultant Lillian 'Mama' Carlson: [after Andy leaves, Mrs. Carlson tastes her coffee, and is pleasantly surprised] Hirsch, this coffee is delicious! Hirsch - Butler: We have company, Madam. When it's just you and me, I make it a little bit differently.
	Season 4 / Episode 9: - The Consultant Lillian 'Mama' Carlson: Mr. Travis, you've been a naughty boy, haven't you.
	Season 4 / Episode 4: - Rumors Les Nessman: Well I'm shocked. Bailey Quarters: I'm amazed. Herbert 'Herb' Tarlek: I'm stunned. Arthur 'Big Guy' Carlson: Well, I guess everything's normal here.
	Season 4 / Episode 4: - Rumors Jennifer Elizabeth Marlowe: Visitors will be very impressed until they talk to someone.
	Season 4 / Episode 4: - Rumors Bailey Quarters: [to Herb] Continuity is so important, thank you for always being a jerk.
	Season 4 / Episode 3: - The Union Mama Carlson: [Andy has informed Mrs. Carlson that the staff has voted down the union... as Andy gets ready to leave]... and I won't forget about our deal. Andy Travis: Better not.
	Season 4 / Episode 3: - The Union Andy Travis: These things take time. Johnny 'Dr. Fever' Caravella: Spoken like a true, crypto-fascist, puppet of the managerial elite. Travis, I don't know how you can look at yourself in the mirror. Andy Travis: Well, I like looking at myself in the mirror.
	Season 4 / Episode 2: - An Explosive Affair (2) Jennifer Marlowe: [answering phone] WKRP. [pause] Will you hold on please, the man you want to speak with is right next to me. [turns to Andy] Andy, he says he's from Black Monday. Andy Travis: [tense, hushed... Jennifer covers mouthpiece] Get on another phone and call the police. Keep them on the line. [takes receiver] Hello, this is Andy Travis. [pause] Well, we all have our problems, may I tell you mine? [pause] I have two DJ's out at the transmitter, and I can't reach them. [pause] Well, I guess it doesn't matter that you didn't mean to hurt anybody now, does it? [pause] All right, all right, just slow down. [pause] You wanna tell me where you put the bomb? [pause] You wanna tell me why you did that? [covers mouthpiece and turns to Herb, hushed] Go and tell Jennifer that the bomb is inside a tool box. Herb Tarlek: Tool box? [Andy waves him away, Herb runs off] Andy Travis: [returns to caller] No, no, no, I'm listening. [pause] We're all guilty [pause] , I understand.
	Season 4 / Episode 2: - An Explosive Affair (2) Venus Flytrap: [visibly shaken] The... the bomb was at the transmitter! [hushed, running to bullpen] I was almost killed... at the transmitter...
	Season 4 / Episode 2: - An Explosive Affair (2) Jennifer Marlowe: [Jennifer checking her watch while on the phone patch with Madigan] Andy, it's 3:30. Andy Travis: [smiling... monitor speaker is still playing music, confirming that they're still on the air] The bomb... I KNEW IT! Jennifer Marlowe: [talking to Madigan on phone] Do you see anything... [monitor speaker suddenly drops from music to static] officer? [tears start forming in Jennifer's eyes] Andy Travis: [quietly] It's an old transmitter... it breaks down all the time. [Jennifer's head drops and she begins to cry] [hushed] The bomb? [Jennifer nods... a shaken Andy walks slowly back to his office, in stunned shock]
	Season 4 / Episode 2: - An Explosive Affair (2) Bailey Quarters: [Andy and Bailey are standing in the WKRP studio as Andy prepares to break in to warn Johnny and Venus of the bomb at the transmitter] Andy, I need to tell you... Andy Travis: Look Bailey, I know it's unprofessional... but they're not answering at the transmitter. Bailey Quarters: Andy... Andy Travis: [into microphone] We interrupt this broadcast for a special emergency announcement... this is Andy Travis calling Venus [throws mike and its boom up in frustration]... I'm not on the air! Bailey Quarters: [rushed] I tried to tell you, studio-transmitter link's only one way! Andy Travis: [confused] What? Bailey Quarters: [slower] I said... the studio-transmitter link is only one way... until they throw the switch, the studio is dead! Andy Travis: Well, that's dumb! Who set that up? Bailey Quarters: You did... it was cheaper that way [Andy rolls eyes at his own poor judgement] .
	Season 4 / Episode 2: - An Explosive Affair (2) Bailey Quarters: [on the phone] Now how can we announce that we are off the air when we are off the air?
	Season 4 / Episode 2: - An Explosive Affair (2) Andy Travis: [frantically, after the transmitter has blown up] Where is Venus? Where is Venus? Dr. Johnny Fever: [out of breath] He's... He's... Andy Travis: He's what? Dr. Johnny Fever: ...parking the car!
	Season 4 / Episode 2: - An Explosive Affair (2) Dr. Johnny Fever: [running past Jennifer's desk] You didn't see me! You didn't see me!
	Season 4 / Episode 2: - An Explosive Affair (2) Les Nessman: [after the bomb has destroyed the transmitter] Johnny, Venus, you're alive? Dr. Johnny Fever: The newsman's eye, you just can't fool it. Les Nessman: [Sadly] That's wonderful? Venus Flytrap: Gee, thanks Les. Les Nessman: Of course, I'll have to update my story. Venus Flytrap: Story! Les Nessman: How'd you like it Andy? Andy Travis: How'd I like what Les? Les Nessman: My 4 o'clock news report, didn't you listen? Andy Travis: Les, the transmitter blew up. Les Nessman: Of course, that was my lead. Dr. Johnny Fever: Wait a minute, you lead off your newscast by telling them that we were off the air? Les Nessman: I can include that in my update.
	Season 4 / Episode 1: - An Explosive Affair (1) Johnny 'Dr. Fever' Caravella: [Andy has instructed Venus and Johnny to take some albums to the transmitter and go on the air from there] Well, go get those albums! Venus Flytrap: Need I remind you that the cops are gonna search every inch of this place? Including your desk drawer? Johnny 'Dr. Fever' Caravella: [panicked, running to the bullpen] I'll get those albums!
	Season 3 / Episode 22: - Clean Up Radio Everywhere Les Nessman: If Edward R. Murrow, my idol, were here, he'd say, "That's censorship!" On the other hand, if General George Patton -- my other idol -- were here, I think he'd take a battalion of tanks, and knock those liberal pinheads into the Ohio River! [pause] So, as you can see ... I'm a very confused man. [walks off]
	Season 3 / Episode 22: - Clean Up Radio Everywhere Arthur 'Big Guy' Carlson: I don't want to argue the point any further, but I would like to express one other thought that occurs to me. Dr. Bob Halyers: Surely. Arthur 'Big Guy' Carlson: Bob, watch out for those broadcasters that cave into your pressure, because principle's not going to mean a darn thing to them. All they're going to be doing is saving their swimming pools. Ah, they'll be the first ones to come and sit at your table. But I thing the good ones are going to be the ones that are willing to take a lose and put up a fight. Dr. Bob Halyers: Well then, I'll just have to love my enemies, Arthur, like the good book says. Arthur 'Big Guy' Carlson: I hope so. because I don't think you'll be able to trust your friends. Dr. Bob Halyers: Good bye, Arthur.
	Season 3 / Episode 22: - Clean Up Radio Everywhere Andy Travis: I suppose in the mean time, you're going to lose money for a principle? Arthur 'Big Guy' Carlson: Hey, Travis, when it comes to losing advertising clients, these bozos don't know who they're up against. Andy Travis: I'm going to fight them tooth and nail. Arthur 'Big Guy' Carlson: I know you are. Andy Travis: If all else fails, I might set Les Nessman on them. Arthur 'Big Guy' Carlson: Boy, that could signal the end of organized religion as we know it.
	Season 2 / Episode 19: - In Concert Venus Flytrap: [Carlson is talking with Venus in the control room the night after the tragedy, as he is on his way to the memorial service] Are we going to go back to playing supermarket music? Arthur 'Big Guy' Carlson: [softly] No, Venus. We're a rock and roll station, and that's where we're going to stay. Arthur 'Big Guy' Carlson: Good night, Venus. Venus Flytrap: Good night.
	Season 2 / Episode 17: - The Americanization of Ivan Les Nessman: [Ivan is flirting with Bailey after a press conference on Soviet pork production in Cincinnati] Let's just stick to pigs, comrade. Ivan Popasonaviski: [still locked in a gaze with Bailey] Press conference over, Howdy.
	Season 2 / Episode 11: - Jennifer's Home for Christmas Venus Flytrap: [Venus is dressed as a 'soulful' Santa... walking through the bullpen, singing] I'm dreaming... of a wh... wh... wh... JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE ALL THE WAY!
	Season 2 / Episode 11: - Jennifer's Home for Christmas Johnny 'Dr. Fever' Caravella: Do you know how hard it is to find a two-pound turkey?
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - Carlson for President Charles Tillman: Mr. Carlson, you can't even run a small radio station! Arthur 'Big Guy' Carlson: What? Charles Tillman: [laughing] WKRP? Ha! Arthur 'Big Guy' Carlson: [to Barry] He just said I can't... [now to Tillman] Listen, buddy, I run that station and I work hard at it! What's more, I'm there everyday, I'm not off getting drunk, Tillman! Barry Schifrin: Do you have an answer to that accusation, Mr. Tillman? Charles Tillman: [panicked and stammering] No... no comment.
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - Carlson for President Wendel Brooks: I'm for busing. I'm for busing every single communist and communist sympathizer in this country back to Russia! Barry Schifrin: Mr. Tillman... Charles Tillman: You can just call me Chuck, Barry.
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - Carlson for President Arthur 'Big Guy' Carlson: It is my opinion that many of the women in your organization are seriously overweight.

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