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 | Season 4 / Episode 27: - Who Will Be The Family Wizard Chancellor Tootietootie: As you know, for centuries we've been choosing one sibling from each family to be a wizard for life - crushing the dreams of the others. It's a fun night everybody. Tonight we find out which one of the Russos will be the Last Wizard Standing. |
| Season 4 / Episode 27: - Who Will Be The Family Wizard Jerry Russo: How often does Uncle Kelbo come around? A couple times a year. Aunt Megan - never. You know why? Because we let the competition come between us. Promise you'll stick together no matter who becomes the family wizard. Justin Russo: I promise, dad. Alex Russo: I promise. Max Russo: I promise. Jerry Russo: Not to me - to yourselves. |
| Season 4 / Episode 27: - Who Will Be The Family Wizard Theresa Russo: He's studied the hardest. He's stuck by the rules. My son hasn't been a stick-in-the-mud all these years for nothing. Jerry Russo: I'm rooting for Alex. I mean she's defeated the dark angels, save the world from an asteroid, plus Justin can *easily* get a job if he doesn't win - we'd be stuck with her forever. |
| Season 4 / Episode 27: - Who Will Be The Family Wizard Juliet Van Heusen: You know, the last time I saw you I made you turn into a wolf forever. Mason Greyback: And I made you turn old and hobble off into the woods. Juliet Van Heusen: No hard feelings then? Mason Greyback: Water under the bridge. Juliet Van Heusen: [Grabbing one of Mason's pom poms] GO JUSTIN! Mason Greyback: [Taking back the pom pom] GO ALEX! |
| Season 4 / Episode 27: - Who Will Be The Family Wizard Justin Russo: Okay. Okay. She's stuck in griffin spit. That's what they do to hold food for their hatchlings. Harper Finkle: Ew ew ew. Max Russo: [Tasting the substance] Yep, that's griffin - bird with a hint of cat. |
| Season 4 / Episode 27: - Who Will Be The Family Wizard Professor Crumbs: I am deeply saddened that it has come to this, but the Russo line of wizards will end forever. Alex Russo: Professor Crumbs... Professor Crumbs: Your wands please. |
| Season 4 / Episode 27: - Who Will Be The Family Wizard Max Russo: I can't believe this. I-I-I prepared myself - knowing that the next time I walked through that portal, one of us would be the family wizard - not none of us would be the family wizard. Justin Russo: And not just us - any Russo from now on. Alex just cut down our family tree and *burned* it! Alex Russo: I told you I though we would come back in time. Theresa Russo: Come on, Justin. Now's not the time to point fingers. Jerry Russo: Remember you promised each other not to let the competition come between you. Justin Russo: There is no competition. So the deal's off - because of *her*. |
| Season 4 / Episode 27: - Who Will Be The Family Wizard Jerry Russo: I'm selling the business Justin Russo: What? Why? Jerry Russo: Well, I always loved the Substation because it was a family business. But we're not much of a family anymore. [Jerry leaves] Alex Russo: Well, dad, aren't you rushing into this? Wha - dad? Max Russo: Mom, what's going to happen? Theresa Russo: I don't know. But your father is... heartbroken. |
| Season 4 / Episode 27: - Who Will Be The Family Wizard Alex Russo: Max, will you forgive me too? Max Russo: Alex, of course I forgive you. Any sister of Justin's is a sister of mine... None of you can say that didn't make sense. Jerry Russo: Now *this* is my family. Harper Finkle: Yeah, a bunch of people selling barely edible food to an unsuspecting public. Ah, those are the Russos I know. |
| Season 4 / Episode 27: - Who Will Be The Family Wizard Chancellor Tootietootie: Somebody want to check on Justin's buzzer? Justin Russo: [Justin hits his buzzer] It's working. Chancellor Tootietootie: Evem more embarrassing. |
| Season 4 / Episode 27: - Who Will Be The Family Wizard Justin Russo: [as Alex tries to free Justin from a tree root he's stuck on] What are you doing? Alex Russo: I don't want to win this way. |
| Season 4 / Episode 27: - Who Will Be The Family Wizard Justin Russo: [to Alex] I think you're the one who deserves this. Professor Crumbs: Is this true, Alex? Alex Russo: Justin... Justin Russo: It's okay, you deserve this more than anyone. I um, think you're going to make a great wizard. |
| Season 4 / Episode 27: - Who Will Be The Family Wizard Jerry Russo: That's my girl, the Russo family wizard. Theresa Russo: We were this close to becoming a normal family. |
 | Season 3 / Episode 25: - Uncle Ernesto Max Russo: [Referring to a magic chicken that tells the future] I'm going to ask it if I'll ever be able to pull off skinny jeans. Alex Russo: Let me answer that; no. |
 | Season 3 / Episode 24: - Wizards vs. Finkles Theresa Russo: So you fix a magic mirror the same way you fix a regular mirror? Magic is lame. |
| Season 3 / Episode 24: - Wizards vs. Finkles Alex Russo: Wait, hold on. Harper Finkle: [holding a chair] Holding on. |
| Season 3 / Episode 24: - Wizards vs. Finkles Justin Russo: On behalf of all mankind, I'd just like to say thank you for recycling your old electronics. Or as we tech-world hipsters like to call it, "e-waste". Alex Russo: Hey, brainiac? You can't put "e" in front of everything and make it sound high-tech. Justin Russo: Don't e-sult me. |
| Season 3 / Episode 24: - Wizards vs. Finkles Harper Finkle: I did it, Alex. I finally got enough fundraisers to pay for my spot on the annual class trip to Europe. Oh, you'd laugh when I did the clown car wash. Alex Russo: It was a clown car wash. I thought I was supposed to laugh. Theresa Russo: Harper, I'm gonna pretend that you're my daughter for a minute. I'm so proud of you, mija! [hugs Harper] Harper Finkle: [touched] I'm Mija. |
| Season 3 / Episode 24: - Wizards vs. Finkles Theresa Russo: [to Justin and Zeke] Hey, boys, I found some junk for you. A football phone, a singing fish trophy, and a toaster with a four-year-old bagel stuck in it. Justin Russo: Mom? Okay, hold on here. This is an e-waste, all right? Not some excuse to get rid of Dad's stuff while he's on his yearly trip to Jones Beach with his buddy Pony Boy and their metal detectors. |
| Season 3 / Episode 24: - Wizards vs. Finkles Alex Russo: It is scary how always right I am. [Mirror Harper suddenly screams] What are you doing? Harper Finkle: Agreeing. You said it was scary. |
 | Season 3 / Episode 23: - Captain Jim Bob Sherwood Justin Russo: Hey, guys, how's it going? So, check it out. Mom sent more photos of possible beaches for this year's family photo. Alex Russo: Wait. We're supposed to go to a place we never go and put our arms around each other like we never do just to have a picture we can send to people we don't like anyway? Jerry Russo: And this year there's a record number of families we don't like to send them to. |
| Season 3 / Episode 23: - Captain Jim Bob Sherwood Justin Russo: How could you sabotage the audition? Alex Russo: Because I don't want to go to Romania any more. Justin Russo: Oh, so you'd rather be a Russo than a Finkle. Alex Russo: I know; it's weird, right? Justin Russo: It turns out the Finkle's really... stinkle. Alex Russo: All right, well now it's a *tossup*. The truth is if I don't go Harper has to go, and I don't want her to leave; so the only solution is to ruin it so nobody can go. Justin Russo: Well, if there is one thing you're good at, it's ruining things. Alex Russo: Aaw, thank you. |
| Season 3 / Episode 23: - Captain Jim Bob Sherwood Harper Finkle: Do you even know where Romania is? Alex Russo: [Scoffs] Yes, it's in Rome, duh! I know my states! Max Russo: She's right, you know. Jerry Russo: [Slaps Max upside the head] No she's not! Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. D in Geometry! |
 | Season 3 / Episode 22: - Delinquent Justin Justin Russo: Guys! Guys, is the mail here yet? Theresa Russo: Ah, Justin. You have been so anxious about the mail all week, honey. It's just a dollar twenty-five rebate on maple syrup. Give him two fifty to get him to stop talking about it, Jerry. Jerry Russo: I don't carry that kind of cash! How 'bout half a banana? |
| Season 3 / Episode 22: - Delinquent Justin Jerry Russo: [to Alex and Justin] It looks like you're both winners. Theresa Russo: Jerry, I don't think you understand; now they have to work together. Jerry Russo: Oh my gosh, we're all losers! |
| Season 3 / Episode 22: - Delinquent Justin Jerry Russo: Look, before you guys start working together, I want to make one thing perfectly clear: Do not come to your mother and me with your problems. Theresa Russo: That's right. It's not that we don't care; it's just that this seems like a regular brother and sister kind of problem, not 'there's a black hole in the Sub Station sucking in the universe' kind of problem. Alex Russo: When are you gonna let that go? Theresa Russo: When someone finds my storage box, full of my Christmas sweaters. Alex Russo: I don't think the black hole got rid of those. Jerry Russo: No, it was the black hole. |
| Season 3 / Episode 22: - Delinquent Justin Justin Russo: There are no evil queens in Jim Bob's world. Alex Russo: There's always an evil queen. Sometimes she's the head cheerleader; sometimes she's the fairytale stepmother; sometimes she's your sister. |
| Season 3 / Episode 22: - Delinquent Justin Alex Russo: Oh, look, a review for the comic book. Justin Russo: Ooh. Alex Russo: [reads] "In the new issue of 'Captain Jim Bob Sherwood's Adventures'"... Justin Russo: Oh-ho. Alex Russo: -"the baton has been passed on to a new artistic team." Justin Russo: That's us! Alex Russo: "Sherwood is sucked into an alternate frontier that's riddled with crime and food he's never encountered before." Justin Russo: Hunh. Alex Russo: "He rescues Jessica Moon and returns to Farmtown with an intergalactic recipe for fajitas." Justin Russo: Fajitas. Alex Russo: "The Russo sisters, Alex and Justine, have taken over the reins with flair." Justin Russo: What! Did you say Justine! Alex Russo: Wow! Sometimes I don't have to do anything, and I still win. Justin Russo: I'm going to write a strongly worded letter to the reviewer. Alex Russo: Yeah, good luck with that, sis. |
 | Season 3 / Episode 21: - Alex Russo, Matchmaker? Justin Russo: So those footprints are not walking away; they are walking forward. Congratulations, fellow graduates; now let's get out there and *walk*. Alex Russo: Justin, are you sure you don't want to use my graduation speech? It goes like this: Later, losers. |
| Season 3 / Episode 21: - Alex Russo, Matchmaker? Alex Russo: I did this because family is important to me, Justin. I'm so sorry for wanting to do something nice for my brother. Justin Russo: Oh, family is important to you? Alex Russo: I needed a heartwarming lead-in. |
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