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Wizards of Waverly Place tv show

Wizards of Waverly Place

- Episode Quotes

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Wizards of Waverly Place Quotes

02x26 - Wizards vs. Vampires on Waverly Place Season 2 / Episode 26: - Wizards vs. Vampires on Waverly Place

Alucard Van Heusen: [threatening] Prepare to meet your doom!

Alucard Van Heusen: [Not-so-threatening] Oh, look. Oprah's here.
02x26 - Wizards vs. Vampires on Waverly Place Season 2 / Episode 26: - Wizards vs. Vampires on Waverly Place

Jerry Russo: [on the Van Heusens] They're like shaved wolves... that can vote!
02x26 - Wizards vs. Vampires on Waverly Place Season 2 / Episode 26: - Wizards vs. Vampires on Waverly Place

Juliet Van Husen: Twas fate's dart that found my Justin.
Alucard Van Heusen: Remember, you a teenager.
Juliet Van Husen: [more like a teenager] It was like totally fate's dart the found Justin and stuff, y'know?
02x23 - Paint by Committee Season 2 / Episode 23: - Paint by Committee

Harper: Don't let his down Alex. I'd say don't let me down, but you can never let me down!
02x22 - My Tutor, Tutor Season 2 / Episode 22: - My Tutor, Tutor

Alex Russo: Makeovers? You mean where stuck up girls make snooty faces at us while they pluck our eyebrows until we scream and then they tell us "well you'd be pretty if you took care of your skin."? Pass.
02x20 - Family Game Night Season 2 / Episode 20: - Family Game Night

Harper: I didn't want to look in your brain. There's a lot of scary stuff in there.
Alex Russo: [Alex laughs evilly] Thank you.
02x20 - Family Game Night Season 2 / Episode 20: - Family Game Night

Justin Russo: Oh Alex, I need to ask you something. See I'm taking this girl to the baseball game, right?
Alex Russo: What girl? Who are you taking?
Justin Russo: Daphne. She thinks we're dating. I need your sneaky conniving advice of how to get out of it.
Alex Russo: Dump her. Just dump her! Dump her hard!
Harper: [Groans] You want to get rid of her? You're gonna need a road flare, a barrel of maple syrup, and a mini-trampoline. But we're not using the maple syrup the way you think. [Leading Alex out] We gotta go!
Justin Russo: And what did I think we're using the maple syrup for? Like who... Ooh. I get it!
02x20 - Family Game Night Season 2 / Episode 20: - Family Game Night

Theresa Russo: Honey, I got rid of that thing for a reason. Family game night nearly destroyed this family. Don't you remember? The fighting, the cheating, the crying when someone lost.
Jerry Russo: But that's because the kids were young. I think they're old enough to handle it now.
Theresa Russo: They weren't the ones who were crying.
02x20 - Family Game Night Season 2 / Episode 20: - Family Game Night

Jerry Russo: Alex, you're just in time for Family Game Night.
Alex Russo: Oh, sorry I don't play games, especially ones that end with crime scene tape.
02x20 - Family Game Night Season 2 / Episode 20: - Family Game Night

Alex Russo: [whispers] I have two brains inside my head.
Justin Russo: If you're trying to psyche me out for charades, you're gonna have to do better than that.
Alex Russo: No-no-no, I'm serious. I mixed up a bunch of spells and now I've got Harper's brain in my head. I can prove it. Just talk to Harper's brain.
Justin Russo: Okay, let me... let me see. Hello, Harper's... brain.

Alex Russo: [as Harper] You're staring at me with those eyes. I think I might faint.
02x17 - Alex Does Good Season 2 / Episode 17: - Alex Does Good

Max Russo: Justin, one last favor. Could you maybe pretend to be the waiter so she doesn't know I'm being chaperoned.
Justin Russo: Yeah dude, no problem. I got a suit that I've been dying to wear ever since grandma made that miraculous recovery.
02x10 - Baby Cupid Season 2 / Episode 10: - Baby Cupid

Justin Russo: [Alex brings Cupid into Waverly place and fails to get rid of him] What are we gonna do? We still have Cupid.
Alex Russo: You said 'we'! So officially, you're in!
Justin Russo: Man! Every time!
02x10 - Baby Cupid Season 2 / Episode 10: - Baby Cupid

Alex Russo: Dad, where's mom? She's supposed to turn up to my marriage and family class.
Jerry Russo: We lost her by the cupcakes.
Alex Russo: Dad?
Jerry Russo: OK, *I* lost her by the cupcakes.
02x09 - Taxi Dance Season 2 / Episode 9: - Taxi Dance

Harper: Is that a punishment?
Justin Russo: Nope. It's an Alexment. Something that should be a punishment, but is a reward.
Harper: You get those sometimes, right?
Justin Russo: No. No, I don't.
02x09 - Taxi Dance Season 2 / Episode 9: - Taxi Dance

Burt the Cab: You know Alex, you don't need me looking out for you. You've already got two people, right here.
Alex Russo: Actually I have three.
Harper: Yes!
Alex Russo: Justin.
Harper: Awkward.
Alex Russo: I know I always bag on Justin, but when it really counts, he's got my back.
02x05 - Alex's Brother, Maximan Season 2 / Episode 5: - Alex's Brother, Maximan

Max Russo: [reading a comic book] The best superhero crime fighter on the planet, is Mr. Spandex Avenger.
Alex Russo: Ooh, cute tights. Oh my gosh, I totally have the same pair. Yeah.
01x17 - Report Card Season 1 / Episode 17: - Report Card

Max Russo: Well, now I hate both of you because now, we don't have any guinea pigs!
01x17 - Report Card Season 1 / Episode 17: - Report Card

Alex Russo: [Professor is about to take Alex's powers, is turned into guinea pig] Don't look at me, I don't have my powers!
Jerry Russo: [shocked] Justin?
Justin Russo: ...I panicked!
01x17 - Report Card Season 1 / Episode 17: - Report Card

Theresa Russo: [walking away] Well, I'm not a wizard so... what do you guys want for dinner?
01x17 - Report Card Season 1 / Episode 17: - Report Card

Justin Russo: Got it.
Alex Russo: Does he have to say, "Got it" after every question? It's throwing me off on my exam.
Max Russo: [surprised] We're taking an exam?
01x17 - Report Card Season 1 / Episode 17: - Report Card

Justin Russo: I don't know why you guys even bothered taking that test. We all know that I'm the one that's gonna win the family wizard contest and keep my powers.
Jerry Russo: But that's not for a long while, Justin.
Alex Russo: And what if they change the rules so only girls keep their powers? Oh, wait, you still might win.
Justin Russo: Oh, Alex, you're so transparent. You know that I'm better than you at magic, so you have to lash out and make fun of me. And, you don't take any of this magic seriously.
Alex Russo: I can't take *you* seriously. You use big words like "transparent". What are you, British?
01x17 - Report Card Season 1 / Episode 17: - Report Card

Jerry Russo: Hey, what's that?
Alex Russo: [hastily] Uh...

Alex Russo: These parents are now not...
Jerry Russo: What're you doing?
Alex Russo: ...guinea pigs should fill their slot.

Alex Russo: What did I just do? I panicked! I needed to buy myself more time.
Report Card: To do what?
Alex Russo: To panic!
01x17 - Report Card Season 1 / Episode 17: - Report Card

Max Russo: Why doesn't Dad just grade our papers?
Professor Crumb: So that no one will get better grades just by batting their eyes and trying to look cute.
Alex Russo: [batting her eyes and looking cute] Are you talking about me?
Justin Russo: [mocking Alex's expression] Alex, you're doing it right now.
01x13 - Wizard School (1) Season 1 / Episode 13: - Wizard School (1)

Alex Russo: [raising cell phone around] Ugh, there's no bars in the wizard world. This stinks!
01x13 - Wizard School (1) Season 1 / Episode 13: - Wizard School (1)

Alex Russo: [while at wizard school, Justin is wearing a robe and glasses] You remind me of someone... Barry something, Jerry something, [Larry] something; oh forget it.
01x13 - Wizard School (1) Season 1 / Episode 13: - Wizard School (1)

Alex Russo: [talking to Dr. Evilini as she gets in trouble and takes her phone] Yeah, add your number in it so we can keep in touch-oh nevermind.
01x12 - Justin's Little Sister Season 1 / Episode 12: - Justin's Little Sister

Mr. Laritate: Let's start off Thursday's class like we always do: with an aural pop quiz.
Alex Russo: [sarcastically] Oh, my gosh, it's the Thursday pop quiz that we have every Thursday. I am totally caught off-guard.
01x12 - Justin's Little Sister Season 1 / Episode 12: - Justin's Little Sister

Mr. Laritate: Oh, Alex, you are definitely not your brother, Justin.
Alex Russo: No, I'm not. I'm cuter, I'm more fun to talk to, and I don't have dental floss on a key chain.
Mr. Laritate: Yeah? [he holds up a dental floss key chain] Well, I do. Justin made it for me. Ah, Justin. Those were the days.
01x12 - Justin's Little Sister Season 1 / Episode 12: - Justin's Little Sister

Theresa Russo: [to Justin] I'm so sorry, I forgot you!
Jerry Russo: How can a mother forget her own son?
Theresa Russo: What about you?
Jerry Russo: What? I'm a dad. Before my coffee in the morning, I'm lucky if remember one of these kids.
01x10 - Pop Me And We Both Go Down Season 1 / Episode 10: - Pop Me And We Both Go Down

Max Russo: [after the tiny trophy man crawls up his sleeve and emerges from his pants leg, carrying a pair of white underpants] Hey, my underwear! You know what, I was wearing those for ten straight days!


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