Wizards of Waverly Place Quotes

Wizards of Waverly Place

- Episode Quotes

Fun Facts:

Wizards of Waverly Place Quotes

	Season 2 / Episode 26: - Wizards vs. Vampires on Waverly Place Alucard Van Heusen: [threatening] Prepare to meet your doom! Alucard Van Heusen: [Not-so-threatening] Oh, look. Oprah's here.
	Season 2 / Episode 26: - Wizards vs. Vampires on Waverly Place Jerry Russo: [on the Van Heusens] They're like shaved wolves... that can vote!
	Season 2 / Episode 26: - Wizards vs. Vampires on Waverly Place Juliet Van Husen: Twas fate's dart that found my Justin. Alucard Van Heusen: Remember, you a teenager. Juliet Van Husen: [more like a teenager] It was like totally fate's dart the found Justin and stuff, y'know?
	Season 2 / Episode 23: - Paint by Committee Harper: Don't let his down Alex. I'd say don't let me down, but you can never let me down!
	Season 2 / Episode 22: - My Tutor, Tutor Alex Russo: Makeovers? You mean where stuck up girls make snooty faces at us while they pluck our eyebrows until we scream and then they tell us "well you'd be pretty if you took care of your skin."? Pass.
	Season 2 / Episode 20: - Family Game Night Harper: I didn't want to look in your brain. There's a lot of scary stuff in there. Alex Russo: [Alex laughs evilly] Thank you.
	Season 2 / Episode 20: - Family Game Night Justin Russo: Oh Alex, I need to ask you something. See I'm taking this girl to the baseball game, right? Alex Russo: What girl? Who are you taking? Justin Russo: Daphne. She thinks we're dating. I need your sneaky conniving advice of how to get out of it. Alex Russo: Dump her. Just dump her! Dump her hard! Harper: [Groans] You want to get rid of her? You're gonna need a road flare, a barrel of maple syrup, and a mini-trampoline. But we're not using the maple syrup the way you think. [Leading Alex out] We gotta go! Justin Russo: And what did I think we're using the maple syrup for? Like who... Ooh. I get it!
	Season 2 / Episode 20: - Family Game Night Theresa Russo: Honey, I got rid of that thing for a reason. Family game night nearly destroyed this family. Don't you remember? The fighting, the cheating, the crying when someone lost. Jerry Russo: But that's because the kids were young. I think they're old enough to handle it now. Theresa Russo: They weren't the ones who were crying.
	Season 2 / Episode 20: - Family Game Night Jerry Russo: Alex, you're just in time for Family Game Night. Alex Russo: Oh, sorry I don't play games, especially ones that end with crime scene tape.
	Season 2 / Episode 20: - Family Game Night Alex Russo: [whispers] I have two brains inside my head. Justin Russo: If you're trying to psyche me out for charades, you're gonna have to do better than that. Alex Russo: No-no-no, I'm serious. I mixed up a bunch of spells and now I've got Harper's brain in my head. I can prove it. Just talk to Harper's brain. Justin Russo: Okay, let me... let me see. Hello, Harper's... brain. Alex Russo: [as Harper] You're staring at me with those eyes. I think I might faint.
	Season 2 / Episode 17: - Alex Does Good Max Russo: Justin, one last favor. Could you maybe pretend to be the waiter so she doesn't know I'm being chaperoned. Justin Russo: Yeah dude, no problem. I got a suit that I've been dying to wear ever since grandma made that miraculous recovery.
	Season 2 / Episode 10: - Baby Cupid Justin Russo: [Alex brings Cupid into Waverly place and fails to get rid of him] What are we gonna do? We still have Cupid. Alex Russo: You said 'we'! So officially, you're in! Justin Russo: Man! Every time!
	Season 2 / Episode 10: - Baby Cupid Alex Russo: Dad, where's mom? She's supposed to turn up to my marriage and family class. Jerry Russo: We lost her by the cupcakes. Alex Russo: Dad? Jerry Russo: OK, I lost her by the cupcakes.
	Season 2 / Episode 9: - Taxi Dance Harper: Is that a punishment? Justin Russo: Nope. It's an Alexment. Something that should be a punishment, but is a reward. Harper: You get those sometimes, right? Justin Russo: No. No, I don't.
	Season 2 / Episode 9: - Taxi Dance Burt the Cab: You know Alex, you don't need me looking out for you. You've already got two people, right here. Alex Russo: Actually I have three. Harper: Yes! Alex Russo: Justin. Harper: Awkward. Alex Russo: I know I always bag on Justin, but when it really counts, he's got my back.
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - Alex's Brother, Maximan Max Russo: [reading a comic book] The best superhero crime fighter on the planet, is Mr. Spandex Avenger. Alex Russo: Ooh, cute tights. Oh my gosh, I totally have the same pair. Yeah.
	Season 1 / Episode 17: - Report Card Max Russo: Well, now I hate both of you because now, we don't have any guinea pigs!
	Season 1 / Episode 17: - Report Card Alex Russo: [Professor is about to take Alex's powers, is turned into guinea pig] Don't look at me, I don't have my powers! Jerry Russo: [shocked] Justin? Justin Russo: ...I panicked!
	Season 1 / Episode 17: - Report Card Theresa Russo: [walking away] Well, I'm not a wizard so... what do you guys want for dinner?
	Season 1 / Episode 17: - Report Card Justin Russo: Got it. Alex Russo: Does he have to say, "Got it" after every question? It's throwing me off on my exam. Max Russo: [surprised] We're taking an exam?
	Season 1 / Episode 17: - Report Card Justin Russo: I don't know why you guys even bothered taking that test. We all know that I'm the one that's gonna win the family wizard contest and keep my powers. Jerry Russo: But that's not for a long while, Justin. Alex Russo: And what if they change the rules so only girls keep their powers? Oh, wait, you still might win. Justin Russo: Oh, Alex, you're so transparent. You know that I'm better than you at magic, so you have to lash out and make fun of me. And, you don't take any of this magic seriously. Alex Russo: I can't take you seriously. You use big words like "transparent". What are you, British?
	Season 1 / Episode 17: - Report Card Jerry Russo: Hey, what's that? Alex Russo: [hastily] Uh... Alex Russo: These parents are now not... Jerry Russo: What're you doing? Alex Russo: ...guinea pigs should fill their slot. Alex Russo: What did I just do? I panicked! I needed to buy myself more time. Report Card: To do what? Alex Russo: To panic!
	Season 1 / Episode 17: - Report Card Max Russo: Why doesn't Dad just grade our papers? Professor Crumb: So that no one will get better grades just by batting their eyes and trying to look cute. Alex Russo: [batting her eyes and looking cute] Are you talking about me? Justin Russo: [mocking Alex's expression] Alex, you're doing it right now.
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - Wizard School (1) Alex Russo: [raising cell phone around] Ugh, there's no bars in the wizard world. This stinks!
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - Wizard School (1) Alex Russo: [while at wizard school, Justin is wearing a robe and glasses] You remind me of someone... Barry something, Jerry something, [Larry] something; oh forget it.
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - Wizard School (1) Alex Russo: [talking to Dr. Evilini as she gets in trouble and takes her phone] Yeah, add your number in it so we can keep in touch-oh nevermind.
	Season 1 / Episode 12: - Justin's Little Sister Mr. Laritate: Let's start off Thursday's class like we always do: with an aural pop quiz. Alex Russo: [sarcastically] Oh, my gosh, it's the Thursday pop quiz that we have every Thursday. I am totally caught off-guard.
	Season 1 / Episode 12: - Justin's Little Sister Mr. Laritate: Oh, Alex, you are definitely not your brother, Justin. Alex Russo: No, I'm not. I'm cuter, I'm more fun to talk to, and I don't have dental floss on a key chain. Mr. Laritate: Yeah? [he holds up a dental floss key chain] Well, I do. Justin made it for me. Ah, Justin. Those were the days.
	Season 1 / Episode 12: - Justin's Little Sister Theresa Russo: [to Justin] I'm so sorry, I forgot you! Jerry Russo: How can a mother forget her own son? Theresa Russo: What about you? Jerry Russo: What? I'm a dad. Before my coffee in the morning, I'm lucky if remember one of these kids.
	Season 1 / Episode 10: - Pop Me And We Both Go Down Max Russo: [after the tiny trophy man crawls up his sleeve and emerges from his pants leg, carrying a pair of white underpants] Hey, my underwear! You know what, I was wearing those for ten straight days!

« previous12 next »

» Back to Wizards of Waverly Place TV Show