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Alex Russo Quotes
 | Season 1 / Episode 11: - Potion Commotion Justin Russo: Yeah. I still have to write an essay so I'll get chosen to go to the World School Summit, at the UN. Alex Russo: Yeah, once you said essay, all I heard was blah blah-blah blah-blah. Okay, let's talk about my day; like this guy who thinks of me as a friend but not for long; I have a plan. Justin Russo: Fascinating. Back to me. I'm competing against this kiss-up who has no right being chosen for the World School Summit. Alex Russo: Seriously, you have to make your stories more interesting, because all I'm hearing is blah, blah-blah, blah-blah. |
| Season 1 / Episode 11: - Potion Commotion Jerry Russo: Today's lesson is about potions that make you have emotions. Emotion potions. Not potions that make you move quicker or slower; those are Motion Potions. [laughs] You see what I just did? Alex Russo: Yeah, that was a crime of rhyme. Wow, that was lame, and I'm ashamed. |
| Season 1 / Episode 11: - Potion Commotion Justin Russo: Where'd all this come from? Alex Russo: Me. Justin Russo: Thought the potion wore off. Alex Russo: It did. What didn't wear off is how good I feel about sending myself flowers. Who's going to be kinder to me than me? Justin Russo: Certainly not me. Alex Russo: [reads note on flowers, laughs] Oh my God. I am so funny. I didn't see that coming. Woooo! |
 | Season 1 / Episode 10: - Pop Me And We Both Go Down Theresa Russo: He-e-y, how was school? Max, why are you carrying Alex's backpack like that? Max Russo: She told me my backpack was bending my spine, so she gave me hers to even it out. Alex Russo: Let's check. [takes her backpack] There, all straight. You're welcome. Jerry Russo: Alex, your brother is not your pack mule. Max Russo: Yeah, I'm not your pack mule. Alex Russo: I'm sorry, Maxie. [hands him her backpack] Could you take this upstairs for me? Max Russo: Sure. |
| Season 1 / Episode 10: - Pop Me And We Both Go Down Alex Russo: Miranda Hampson? Isn't she that new goth girl in eleventh grade? Justin Russo: She's not goth. She just likes wearing black and dark makeup and listens to bands that are kind of scary. Alex Russo: Oh, so not goth. But goth. |
| Season 1 / Episode 10: - Pop Me And We Both Go Down Theresa Russo: So, how long have you been in this line of work? Trophy Man: Well, since the first Olympics, but I was just on a medal back then. I've done all kinds of trophies. Alex Russo: What about tennis? Justin Russo: World's fastest typist? Trophy Man: Yeah. Oh, you know what other trophy I've done? [leans toward Theresa] World's greatest kisser. Jerry Russo: All right, all right, it's past everybody's bedtime. It's time for you to get back on the pedestal. Alex. Alex Russo: Garybay eemobilitay. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 9: - Movies Jerry Russo: [trying to teach spells] Okay, you haven't eaten for days and you're starving and in desperate need of a sandwich. What do you do? Alex Russo: I go down to the sandwich shop and ask Mom to make me a sandwich. Jerry Russo: Yes, but Mom's not there. Justin Russo: Where's Mom? Jerry Russo: She left the country. Justin Russo: Left the country! Why? Is she okay? Jerry Russo: She's fine! Alex Russo: Well if she's fine I don't see why she couldn't make me a sandwich. |
| Season 1 / Episode 9: - Movies Alex Russo: [reciting a spell] although I like such tasty snacks I'd rather have my Brother Max. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 8: - Curb Your Dragon Jerry Russo: [as a goat] OK, Alex, change me back. Alex Russo: Oh, but, Daddy, you look so cute as a goat. Max Russo: Let's make him eat a tin can. Jerry Russo: Not funny, Ma-ax. Alex, change me ba-a-ak. Alex Russo: OK, OK. Huminoza espinoza. Jerry Russo: [Jerry returns to human form] Oh! Justin Russo: We really got your goat, huh, Dad. |
| Season 1 / Episode 8: - Curb Your Dragon Alex Russo: My dog burnt my homework. That'll be a new one. |
| Season 1 / Episode 8: - Curb Your Dragon Alex Russo: I know losing Willy broke your heart, but the truth is he didn't run away and get lost. He... he got out because... because I kinda let him out. Justin Russo: It was *you*? Mom and dad told me it was the pizza delivery guy; I haven't eaten pizza in like eight years. Alex Russo: Don't be mad; I was five; I wanted to take Willy for a walk, and he wanted to go for a run. Justin Russo: You saying you feel guilty Alex Russo: Rarely, but yes. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 7: - Alex's Choice Harper Finkle: Whoa, that last multiple choice question was really hard. I got A. Alex Russo: I got D, and I'm pretty sure I'm right. Harper Finkle: D wasn't even close; why are you so sure you're right? Alex Russo: No, I got a D on the test; I'm sure I'm right about that. |
| Season 1 / Episode 7: - Alex's Choice Harper Finkle: If you want to be a negative Nellie, then go ahead. Alex Russo: Gee, the only Nellie I know is Nellie Rodriguez, and she's a very positive, upbeat person. Harper Finkle: Hi, Nellie, you going to Gigi's tea? Nellie Rodriguez: Yeah, I can't wait. It's going to be so much fun. [giggles] Harper Finkle: [leaving with Nellie] What are you going to wear? Alex Russo: Ough, there's nothing worse than a positive Nellie. |
| Season 1 / Episode 7: - Alex's Choice Maitre D': Ladies. Welcome to tea at the Hotel Fleur du Blah du Blah duBlah-duBlah. Alex Russo: The Hotel what? How do you spell that? Alex Russo: In French. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 6: - You Cant Always Get What You Carpet Jerry Russo: What kind of cloud should you fly into? [stops Alex answering] Heh, trick question; none of them. Because it's very easy to become confused in a cloud. Which way's up? Which way's down? I don't know. Crash! Alex Russo: What'd you crash into in a cloud? Jerry Russo: A confused wizard on a carpet going the other way. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 5: - Disenchanted Evening Jerry Russo: [sees the catwalk] Oooo! A catwalk! Alex Russo: Well, this is awkward. |
| Season 1 / Episode 5: - Disenchanted Evening Justin Russo: I'm staying here to watch your plan blow up and pop. Metaphor. Alex Russo: Well I'll be the one laughing like a hyena. Justin Russo: Simile. Alex Russo: No, animal joke. |
| Season 1 / Episode 5: - Disenchanted Evening Jerry Russo: You are in so much trouble, young lady! Alex Russo: [happily] I know. |
| Season 1 / Episode 5: - Disenchanted Evening Justin Russo: I can hardly believe mom and dad would be okay with this. Alex Russo: Of course they're okay with it, just like TJ's parents are. That's what charming your parents means. Justin Russo: Mom and dad are charmed? Justin Russo: What! How! When! Who! Alex Russo: Mom and dad. Justin Russo: What! How! When! Alex Russo: At dinner. Justin Russo: What! How! Alex Russo: It was in the kugel. Justin Russo: What! Alex Russo: Justin, I think you know what! |
| Season 1 / Episode 5: - Disenchanted Evening Alex Russo: That's not magic. Justin Russo: How do you know I didn't forget my locker combination and then use magic to remember it? Alex Russo: Because you made up a locker combination song. Right to clear it, come on, let's hear it... [Justin joins in] Alex Russo, Justin Russo: [in unison]... 23, left eight digits, but don't fidget, 31, now for the last, don't go too fast, six, and you're off to class. Whoo! |
 | Season 1 / Episode 4: - New Employee Customer #1: Just give me the Bronc-strami, a large root beer and, uh, a slice of that coffee cake over there, huh. Harper: Really? Here's what I do. I get the half order because it's just as filling and half the price. Alex Russo: Harper! Harper: What? That's what I do! Oh, and get the small soda because it's free refills. Alex Russo: Harper! When I said 'Harper' I meant stop talking! |
| Season 1 / Episode 4: - New Employee Alex Russo, Harper, Theresa Russo: [singing] We see right through your funky hat! Alex Russo: Mom, don't add your own moves! This isn't the eighties; this isn't Footgrease music. Theresa Russo: It's Footloose or Grease. And those movies were great. C'mon, pick your moves up. Alex Russo, Harper, Theresa Russo: What's that? A hat! Crazy, funky, chunky hat. Overslept, hair unsightly. Theresa Russo: Trying to look like Keira Knightly. Theresa Russo: And pull the cord! Pull the cord! Pull the cord! |
 | Season 1 / Episode 3: - I Almost Drowned In A Chocolate Fountain Theresa Russo: Don't worry, Honey. I'm going to help you with your Español. Alex Russo: OK, that's fine, but I need help with my Spanish, too. Theresa Russo: Español *is* Spanish. Alex Russo: Español is Spanish for what? |
| Season 1 / Episode 3: - I Almost Drowned In A Chocolate Fountain Justin Russo: Alex! Wow, thanks for not ratting us out. Alex Russo: Don't thank me. I didn't rat you out because I'm going to get even for you guys getting even. Justin Russo: Oh. Max Russo: Oh no! *Her* getting even is *way* worse than telling. Justin Russo: [Running upstairs, yells] Dad, it was us! Max Russo: We did it! Justin Russo: We gave the elves chocolate! |
| Season 1 / Episode 3: - I Almost Drowned In A Chocolate Fountain Alex Russo: Check it out; I got an F on my Spanish midterm. Harper Finkle: Why are you so happy about it? Alex Russo: Because Riley got an F too; that means he's been paying as much attention to me as I've been to him. [sighs] Failing Spanish is hard work. Harper Finkle: How is failing Spanish hard work? Alex Russo: Every day I show up late so he'll definitely notice me; then, I forget my textbook so we have to share one, and finally I let the teacher catch us passing notes so she keeps us both after class. Harper Finkle: That is hard work! You must be exhausted! Alex Russo: That's why I sleep during History. |
| Season 1 / Episode 3: - I Almost Drowned In A Chocolate Fountain Harper Finkle: Here comes your brother. I think he's coming over here. Oh, he's so cute. I never know what to say to him. Alex Russo: Just talk about current events. He loves current events. Justin Russo: Hey, guys. Harper Finkle: Alex failed her Spanish midterm! Alex Russo: Not *that* current. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 2: - First Kiss Alex Russo: Sell it dummy, you can make another one! Max Russo: That'll be eighty dollars Mr. Malone: What? Max Russo: Ok, for senior citizin, four dollars |
| Season 1 / Episode 2: - First Kiss Alex Russo: Harper! What are you doing here? Harper: I'm not Harper, I'm just a theatre seat. Keeping an eye on my boyfriend. Alex Russo: You made an outfit to match the theatre seats? Harper: Don't be freaked out if you can't see me. |
| Season 1 / Episode 2: - First Kiss Alex Russo: If you don't do it [kiss Miranda] soon, she's gonna think that you're really not into her. And then someone's gonna have to play chess by themselves. Justin Russo: I already do that! |
| Season 1 / Episode 2: - First Kiss Justin Russo: [unbelief] What did you just do?... You got Mac to ask out my girlfriend. Alex Russo: Oh. Wait, I can fix this. Here's a cute girl. [turns girl around] Kiss her. Justin Russo: This is my Spanish teacher! [says something in Spanish to teacher and she walks away] Justin Russo: [to Alex] I think I just told her my name is library. |
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