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Alex Russo Quotes
 | Season 2 / Episode 5: - Alex's Brother, Maximan Max Russo: [reading a comic book] The best superhero crime fighter on the planet, is Mr. Spandex Avenger. Alex Russo: Ooh, cute tights. Oh my gosh, I totally have the same pair. Yeah. |
 | Season 2 / Episode 3: - Graphic Novel Dean: Oh sweet shining Alex, thou art the bomb. Alex Russo: Right back at thou. |
 | Season 2 / Episode 1: - Smarty Pants Justin Russo: Smarty Pants. They give whoever wears them superior knowledge on anything and everything there is to know. I'd put 'em on but I'm already smarter than them. Alex Russo: Ooh, you're smarter than pants, good for you! Justin Russo: Now pay attention while I read off some of the possible side effects of keeping the pants on too long. Side effects may be headache, nausea, rash, chronic giggling, belly button bubbles, say it don't spray it disease, tongue reversal, ear gas, sweaty knees, Picasso face, problems with the bowels... Alex Russo: All right, lesson's over! Come on, Max! Max Russo: I think I'm gonna stay and draw on his face! Alex Russo: Okay, cool! |
| Season 2 / Episode 1: - Smarty Pants Alarm: Warning! Warning! The prolonged use of Smarty Pants... Alex Russo: Okay, we get it! Alarm: ...may cause side effects such as headache, nausea, rash, skeleton legs, belly button bubbles, say it don't spray it disease, smelly feet, yellow tongue, flaky hair, oily lips... Alex Russo: [puts the Smarty Pants on] Oh, now I know how to shut you up! Alarm: scaly pits... Alex Russo: [she turns the Alarm off] Huh! Knowing stuff is so cool! |
| Season 2 / Episode 1: - Smarty Pants Justin Russo: Okay, guys, while Dad's away, Mom's going to give her first wizard lesson, so let's show her some respect. Alex Russo: Oh, we respect *her*; it's *you* we don't respect. Justin Russo: Anyhoo... Alex Russo: See? We don't respect you 'cause you say things like that. |
| Season 2 / Episode 1: - Smarty Pants Alex Russo: Mom, how'd it go? Am I in big trouble? Theresa Russo: It's weird. Your principal started to talk about you, and then he got a phone call about some dirty canary song sweeping through the seventh grade. Alex Russo: Uh, Mom, I think Max was the one... Theresa Russo: Sh! Let's get out of here. Alex Russo: Okay. |
| Season 2 / Episode 1: - Smarty Pants Harper Finkle: [to Alex] I wish you were smart. Then you could fill in for Nellie. Alex Russo: I am smart! I'm street smart. Harper Finkle: But not book smart. Alex Russo: I am too book smart! Sure, I don't read books, but I hollow them out and hide things in them. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 21: - Art Museum Piece Alex Russo: Yo, happy-go-trashy, come back here! Don't you see me sweeping? What would your mother say if she saw you do that, huh? Burly Customer: Mama would be mad. Alex Russo: That's right, mama would be mad; so am I. Now pick that up. And that cup, too. [he picks them up] Okay, thank you for eating at Waverley Sub Station; come again. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 20: - Quinceanera Jerry Russo: You did all this for your mother, and look how happy you made her. Alex Russo: I'm glad we did this too, dad. Jerry Russo: You really are turning into a wonderful woman, just like her. I am so proud of you, honey. Alex Russo: Even when I break the rules and use magic behind your back? Jerry Russo: Even then. Oh, honey, are you crying? Alex Russo: [nods] Yeah, but why aren't you? You've been crying for days. Jerry Russo: Well, I think I'm all cried out. Alex Russo: Really? What if I told you how much this quinceañera cost? Jerry Russo: [starting to cry] Oh my gosh, here it comes again. |
| Season 1 / Episode 20: - Quinceanera Jerry Russo: Well, guys, you managed to refrain from using magic the whole time grandma's been here. Alex Russo: You're welcome. Max Russo: It wasn't easy. Justin Russo: Took a lot of restraint. Jerry Russo: Well, you should really pat yourselves on the back. Magdalena: Well, I've never been in *this* room before. Jerry Russo: Uh, ah... Magdalena: Wow, is this room what I think it is? Max Russo: What room do *you* think it is? Magdalena: Hmmm. [grabs Max] The wrestling room. [laughs] Max Russo: Two out of three! |
 | Season 1 / Episode 19: - Alex's Spring Fling Justin Russo: [on phone] Eh, Mom. OK, so you and dad crossed over into New Jersey, right? Then it's official; I'm in charge. Justin Russo: Because, what if there was a tidal wave or something? Justin Russo: I know, I know, I know. But if there was, then would I be in charge? Yes! Justin Russo: Alright, I'm in charge! Alex Russo: [Alex hits him with a water balloon] Oh, look, a tidal wave. Now you're in charge. Justin Russo: Not funny, Alex; this is my new sweater. Alex Russo: Justin, when you wear it every day for a week, it's not new; it just needs a wash. Max Russo: [Max hits him with a water balloon] OK. I washed it. You're welcome. |
| Season 1 / Episode 19: - Alex's Spring Fling Alex Russo: I'm not constantly jealous. I just really like you. Riley: Well, you have a funny way of showing it. Alex Russo: No, I don't; I'm constantly jealous; that's how I show it. |
| Season 1 / Episode 19: - Alex's Spring Fling Justin Russo: You didn't respect me being in charge. Alex Russo: Why is that so important to you? What about living, having fun, doing stuff you tell stories about? Like this, this is going to be a great story to tell. Justin Russo: The only people you could tell this story to would ground you. Alex Russo: If you'd calm down every once in a while, I would tell you stories. Like... I bet you've always wondered what happened to your light-saber and cape. Justin Russo: Alex, how am I supposed to be calm when you tell me stuff like that! |
 | Season 1 / Episode 18: - Credit Check Justin Russo: Somebody fixed these dice. Alex Russo: Why are you looking at me? Yeah, you should look at me. |
| Season 1 / Episode 18: - Credit Check Alex Russo: [showing Harper the fashion magazine office] So. This is where it all happens. Over there is photography, where they show beautiful girls so other girls feel inferior. Harper Finkle: Ooo. Alex Russo: Over there's editorial, where they write articles that make girls feel inferior. Harper Finkle: [laughs excitedly] What's over there? Alex Russo: Oh, that's the kitchen, where people are too self-conscious to eat. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 17: - Report Card Alex Russo: [Professor Crumb, about to take Alex's powers, is turned into guinea pig] Don't look at me, I don't have my powers! Jerry Russo: [shocked] Justin? Justin Russo: ...I panicked! |
| Season 1 / Episode 17: - Report Card Justin Russo: Got it. Alex Russo: Does he have to say, "Got it" after every question? It's throwing me off on my exam. Max Russo: [surprised] We're taking an exam? |
| Season 1 / Episode 17: - Report Card Justin Russo: I don't know why you guys even bother taking the tests. We all know that I'm the one that's gonna win the family wizard contest and keep my powers. Jerry Russo: That's not for a long while, Justin. Alex Russo: And what if they change the rules so only girls keep their powers? Oh, wait, you still might win. Justin Russo: Oh, Alex, you're so transparent. You know that I'm better than you at magic, so you have to lash out and make fun of me. And you don't take any of this magic seriously. Alex Russo: I can't take *you* seriously. You use big words like "transparent". What are you, British? [Professor Crumbs suddenly appears] Professor Crumb: No, but I am. |
| Season 1 / Episode 17: - Report Card Jerry Russo: Hey, what's that? Alex Russo: [hastily] Uh... Alex Russo: These parents are now not... Jerry Russo: What are you doing? Alex Russo: ...two guinea pigs should fill their slot. Alex Russo: What did I just do? I panicked! I needed to buy myself more time. Report Card: To do what? Alex Russo: To panic! |
| Season 1 / Episode 17: - Report Card Max Russo: Why doesn't Dad just grade our papers? Professor Crumb: So that no one will get better grades just by batting their eyes and trying to look cute. Alex Russo: [batting her eyes and looking cute] Are you talking about me? Justin Russo: [mocking Alex's expression] Alex, you're doing it right now. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 16: - Alex In The Middle Uncle Kelbo: [passes his wand phone to Alex] Okay, you remember what to say, right? Alex Russo: Yes. Excuse me, I was just checking to see if your refrigerator's running. Theresa Russo: Uh, as a matter of fact my refrigerator is broken. Alex Russo: [to Kelbo] It's not running. What do I do if it's not running? Uncle Kelbo: She's on to us! Run! |
 | Season 1 / Episode 15: - The Supernatural Jerry Russo: I know what you did, Alex. You broke the rules and used magic because you wanted Riley to ask you out Alex Russo: I did no such thing! And it totally worked. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 14: - Wizard School (2) Dr. Evilini: Did my messenger fish just tell you my evil plan? Alex Russo: [hesitantly] No. Messenger Fish: All right, this time pay attention. Dear Momma, you'll be proud to know that after the twelve-ball tournament reveals the best young wizard I will drain... Alex Russo: OK, maybe he did tell me. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 13: - Wizard School (1) Alex Russo: [checking cell phone during class] What! Only one bar in the wizard world; this stinks! Dr. Evilini: I'll take that. Alex Russo: Oh. [hands phone over] Feel free to add your number so we don't lose touch- yeah, okay. |
| Season 1 / Episode 13: - Wizard School (1) Alex Russo: [about Justin in his Wiz-Tech uniform] You know, with those glasses and that robe on, you remind me of someone... Terry something, Barry something, Larry something; ah, never mind. |
| Season 1 / Episode 13: - Wizard School (1) Justin Russo: How's your last day at school, Alex? Alex Russo: Ah, tough. So many people were signing my yearbook I ran out of room. I had to get a second yearbook. Justin Russo: How'd you get a second yearbook? They're all gone. Where's my yearbook, Alex? Alex Russo: Come on, Justin, hardly anybody signed it. And one of them was you. Justin Russo: Maybe I was saving room for friends. Alex Russo: Like who? Justin Russo: Vice-principal Clemens, Earl the crossing guard, my biology teacher and all the ladies in the front office. Alex Russo: So, basically all your friends are adults. Justin Russo: Yeah, well, I fit in best with adults; I'm very mature PA Announcer: Will Justin Russo report to lost and found; we have your cape and light-saber. Justin Russo: Hmph. [Justin leaves] Alex Russo: I can't believe they found where I hid those. |
| Season 1 / Episode 13: - Wizard School (1) Messenger Fish: Dear Momma, after the twelve-ball tournament reveals the best young wizard I will drain that wizard's powers and take them for myself, making me the most powerful wizard ever. Love, Mary Beth Evilini. Alex Russo: Justin's going to get his powers drained! Door: Dan dun dun! Alex Russo: This place is a freak show. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 12: - Justin's Little Sister Mr. Laritate: All right, my little history wranglers, enough ruckus. Let's start off Thursday's class like we always do: with an oral pop quiz. Alex Russo: [sarcastically] Oh, my gosh, it's the Thursday pop quiz we have every Thursday; I'm totally caught off-guard. |
| Season 1 / Episode 12: - Justin's Little Sister Mr. Laritate: Oh, Alex, you are definitely not your brother, Justin. Alex Russo: No, I'm not. I'm cuter, I'm more fun to talk to, and I don't have dental floss on a key chain. Mr. Laritate: Yeah? [he holds up a dental floss key chain] Well, I do. Justin made it for me. Ah, Justin. Those were the days. |
| Season 1 / Episode 12: - Justin's Little Sister Jerry Russo: Lesson number two is about genies that live in a lamp. And they are the con artists of the wizard world. Alex Russo: Con artists? I thought they were supposed to grant you three wishes. Justin Russo: They do. But they take your wish and they twist it around into something you wish you never wished for. Max Russo: Is Alex a genie? Jerry Russo: No, she's just your older sister. But good, Max, you understand the concept. |
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