Karen Walker

Will & Grace

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Megan Mullally
Megan is an only child born in Los Angeles, California. Her mother, Martha, was a model. Her father, ...

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Karen Walker Quotes

	Season 8 / Episode 23: - The Finale (1) Karen Walker: Y'know, sometimes it seems like our sole purpose in life is just to serve Will and Grace. Jack McFarland: Right. It's like all people see when they look at us are the supporting players on the Will & Grace show.
	Season 8 / Episode 20: - The Mourning Son Karen Walker: You know, Honey, normally my motto is "Drugs not hugs", but today I feel different. [she hugs him]
	Season 8 / Episode 20: - The Mourning Son Karen Walker: That's your laugh? Sounds like a squirrel orgy. Tina: Thanks.
	Season 8 / Episode 20: - The Mourning Son Tina: When someone dies, no one ever asks how the mistress is doing. Karen Walker: Ah, tell me about it. Not one person came up to me at Reagan's funeral.
	Season 8 / Episode 16: - Grace Expectations Karen Walker: [after Will told her that James cut into line in the coffee house] No, not at all, honey. I mean, that's the same way that we used to get bread and juice during the Great Depre... 80s.
	Season 8 / Episode 11: - Bathroom Humor Karen Walker: I love Chinatown. You can buy a bag of zippers this big for a dollar. [gestures] I hand them out to poor kids. I love to watch the look on their little faces as they zip and unzip their new toy.
	Season 7 / Episode 11: - Queens For A Day (2) Grace Adler: [Looking at Sal] I am so into him. Karen Walker: Yeah, well I'm double into him. Grace Adler: Well I'm gonna ask him out. Karen Walker: I'm going to ask him to move in. Grace Adler: He gave me a hickey. [Points to her breast] Karen Walker: [Points to her belly] He gave me a child! I am pregnant Grace! Grace Adler: No you're not. You can't get pregnant from kissing. Karen Walker: Oh thank God! Sal: [On his cellphone] Hey I just bagged two old ladies. [Watching them look at him] I may need to borrow your dad's toolshed later.
	Season 7 / Episode 10: - Queens For A Day (1) Grace Adler: Great. No sex, and now no turkey. Karen Walker: Well... either way, no stuffin' for you.
	Season 6 / Episode 9: - Strangers With Candice Karen Walker: This is the best prank we've played since we set up Martha Stewart.
	Season 6 / Episode 3: - Home Court Disadvantage Karen Walker: Beverley Leslie with your pants so tight, won't you be my partner tonight? Beverley Leslie: Ooh, I would be honored.
	Season 5 / Episode 22: - May Divorce Be With You Karen Walker: That's alright. I'll find another lawyer...a better lawyer...a gayer lawyer! Will Truman: Good luck finding that.
	Season 5 / Episode 10: - The Honeymoon's Over Karen Walker: You know how I'm into Aerosmith, right?
	Season 5 / Episode 10: - The Honeymoon's Over Karen Walker: Can I have my maritini now? Will Truman: No! No desert! Grace Adler: Will, she's hungry. Will Truman: Tough! She's go to learn that there are consequences to her actions. So you are going to sit there, on this couch and look at Grace's honeymoon pictures! Karen Walker: I HATE YOU! Grace Adler: Roll one - my luggage!
	Season 5 / Episode 8: - Marry Me A Little (1) Karen Walker: Hey, what happened to Grace and that foreign guy she's been hanging around with?
	Season 5 / Episode 8: - Marry Me A Little (1) Will Truman: Leo, great. And Grace, best of luck. Grace Adler: Best of luck? Well thanks for coming to my Bat Mitzvah, Uncle Hochum! Have a safe drive back to Siaset! Karen Walker: I don't know what half those words meant. Jack McFarland: [nods] Me either.
	Season 5 / Episode 8: - Marry Me A Little (1) Will Truman: I think fall is finally here. I just saw the first drunk of the season turn yellow and tumble gently to the ground. Karen Walker: I tripped okay?
	Season 5 / Episode 8: - Marry Me A Little (1) Jack McFarland: Um, look, Leo, I know you're new here, and, um, we don't want you to think we're really cliquey and don't let anyone in our little group, but, um, well, we're really cliquey and we don't want anyone in our little group. Karen Walker: So, if you want to break into the fag four, this symbol of gay oppression has got to go.
	Season 5 / Episode 8: - Marry Me A Little (1) Grace Adler: [about Will] He's not gonna be the prettiest one there is he? Karen Walker: Oh honey, don't be silly, that's crazy talk. I'll be there!
	Season 5 / Episode 8: - Marry Me A Little (1) Karen Walker: Honey, this is me you're talking to. Carol! Karen Walker: Karen! Grace Adler: Oh, that's pretty!
	Season 5 / Episode 8: - Marry Me A Little (1) Karen Walker: Am I crying yet? Jack McFarland: Not yet. Karen Walker: How about now? Jack McFarland: No. Karen Walker: Stick a pin in me. Jack McFarland: I am.
	Season 4 / Episode 18: - Something Borrowed, Someone's Due (2) Jack McFarland: Now we have to walk all the way back up. This is so stupid! Whatever made you afraid of an elevator anyway? Karen Walker: I'll never forget it. My fellow office workers and I were heading down to lunch, and, suddenly... the lights went out, the elevator dropped and... Dennis Hopper said he would kill us all if his demands weren't met! Karen Walker: Thank God Keanu Reeves was there to get us out! Jack McFarland: Karen, that wasn't you! That was the opening scene of "Speed!" Karen Walker: Oh. You know, that movie was not at all what was advertised. You think you're going to see a feel-good movie about amphetamines, and, suddenly, you're on a bus?
	Season 3 / Episode 18: - Mad Dogs & Average Men Grace Adler, Larry: [Playing the piano and singing] Enough is enough, is enough, is enough, is enough, is enough... Karen Walker: THAT'S ENOUGH!
	Season 2 / Episode 20: - Girls, Interrupted Jack McFarland: Oh hey, lady la-la. What are you doing in here? Karen Walker: Oh, Stan's been socking down the herbal Viagra again, and this is the only room in the house he doesn't know about. Shh. Don't tell him. Jack McFarland: Karen, guess what. Tonight I met the One. The man I wanna spend the rest of my life with. Karen Walker: Hey! There is only one man in your life. And her name is Rosario, and don't you forget that. Jack McFarland: His name is Bill. Look. [Takes out a piece of paper] And he gave me a picture of himself. [Gives Karen the flyer] Isn't that a great idea? I'm gonna start passing out pictures of myself to people I meet at clubs. Karen Walker: Did you even read this? Jack McFarland: Well, I read the picture. And it said, "Mommy, mommy, give me some of Jack." Ah! Karen Walker: He is the head of some group called "Welcome Back Home." Jack McFarland: Well, I'm sure it's a typo. He must mean, "Welcome back, Homo." Karen Walker: [reads from the flyer] "It's never too late to get back on the straight and narrow"? Honey, this is a cult! Yeah! Like the Moonies or the homeless. Yes. They're trying to make gay people straight! Good Lord! Don't they know what that'll do to the fall line? Jack McFarland: "We noticed your homosexuality. Make the choice to be straight. Gay is not the way"? Jennifer Jason Leigh, these people are freaks! Karen Walker: Yes. And it looks like your new sweetie has turned his back on homosexuals. And not in the good way. [Turns to look up at the cross hanging above Rosario's bed] No. Don't listen. Jack McFarland: Well, Bill is not straight. I mean, look at us, Kare. We're lovers. [Jack puts Bill's photo next to his face] Karen Walker: Lord. I wonder if Stan's exhausted himself on the body pillow yet. Jack McFarland: Wait! They're having a meeting tomorrow and we have to go. What this organization is advocating is morally wrong, and it is my responsibility to shine the mirror of truth upon them. Karen Walker: Honey... Jack McFarland: Okay, I just wanna make out with Bill. Karen Walker: Okay. Jack McFarland: He's so cute, isn't he? Karen Walker: I know, I know, honey, but it's a waste of time, all right? It's like exercise or reading to your kids. The man thinks he's straight. Jack McFarland: There are no straight men, only men who haven't met Jack. Karen Walker: Yeah, well you can count me out. If you think I'm gonna spend my Sunday morning with a bunch of self-loathing closet cases... Jack McFarland: You'll get to be a lesbian. Karen Walker: Wake me by 11:00.
	Season 2 / Episode 20: - Girls, Interrupted Bill: Man, that was a great game. [turns off the television] Jack McFarland: Yeah. So, wanna hit the showers? Bill: What? Jack McFarland: You know, like they're doing. [Gestures toward the television] Bill: Jack, I don't think that's appropriate. Jack McFarland: Whaddya talk? It's just a couple of naked straight guys soaping each other down. Bill: Okay, I... I have to say something here. The back-slapping and the head-rubbing was one thing, but the ear-blowing and the butterfly kisses are not standard NBA practice. And now this shower thing. Jack McFarland: What are you implying? Bill: You're coming on to me. Jack McFarland: What? I am shocked and appalled. But are you interested? Bill: You think that you can just come in here and use this group, this group that puts people back on the path of righteousness, as some kind of dating service? Jack McFarland: I just need a yes or a no. Bill: No! And I want to make something crystal clear to you and to everyone else in this room. [to the group members] Excuse me. We are here to lead normal, heterosexual lives. Man and woman are meant to be together. So anyone here who has a misguided notion that Welcome Back Home is some kind of a - a gay pick-up joint, you can just leave right now. [everyone but Bill, Karen, and Jack leave] Karen Walker: Well, look at 'em go. I haven't seen a stampede like this since Pamplona. Oh, my god, listen to me. I'm a funny lesbian. I'm Ellen! [Karen leaves] Bill: [Bill looks at Jack] Well, as long as it's a heterosexual soap-down. Jack McFarland: Attagirl. [Bill and Jack start to leave together]
	Season 2 / Episode 19: - An Affair To Forget Grace Adler: Ellen is a dear friend of mine and she has entrusted me with the responsibility of being the maid of honor and I take it very very very seriously. Karen Walker: Oh my God, you slept with the groom! Grace Adler: What ? How do you... ? Where do you... ? Do you have three 6's on your head ?
	Season 2 / Episode 18: - Sweet & Sour Charity Rosario: Oh, Miss Karen, you love those shoes like your own husband Karen Walker: Bite your tongue! Husbands come and go but the Chanel slingback is forever
	Season 2 / Episode 18: - Sweet & Sour Charity Karen Walker: Lord. Would you look at these people. Why anybody would choose to be homeless is beyond me. Jack McFarland: Karen, nobody chooses to be homeless. It's because they did something bad.
	Season 2 / Episode 18: - Sweet & Sour Charity Sally: Excuse me, you must get this all the time. Are you Mary Todd Lincoln? Karen Walker: No. And you must get this all the time. Could you take one giant step back?
	Season 2 / Episode 18: - Sweet & Sour Charity Karen Walker: Maybe it's like it says in the Bible - I felt bad because I had no shoes, but then I met someone who had really bad shoes.
	Season 2 / Episode 18: - Sweet & Sour Charity Karen Walker: What have you done with them? What have you done with my shoes? Rosario: Nobody likes to see you squirm more than I do, but I would eat the food you provide for me before I would touch those pumps!

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