Jack McFarland

Will & Grace

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Played by:

Sean Hayes
Sean grew up in the Chicago suburb of Glen Ellyn, Illinois. His father, Ron, a lithographer, left him ...

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Jack McFarland Quotes

	Season 8 / Episode 23: - The Finale (1) Karen Walker: Y'know, sometimes it seems like our sole purpose in life is just to serve Will and Grace. Jack McFarland: Right. It's like all people see when they look at us are the supporting players on the Will & Grace show.
	Season 8 / Episode 23: - The Finale (1) Jack McFarland: [Celebrating with, Karen, getting Grace & Will back together] Hey, let's get a dessert! Nothing too filling. Something small and fruity with lady fingers. [Beverley Leslie walks in]
	Season 8 / Episode 23: - The Finale (1) Jack McFarland: [Karen has left Jack and Beverly Leslie alone] Nice seeing you again. I'm sure you have places to go... a magic ring to protect...
	Season 8 / Episode 23: - The Finale (1) Jack McFarland: [to Will] That's funny. Do I hear screaming? Oh, no, that's just the buttons on your shirt.
	Season 8 / Episode 22: - Whatever Happened To Baby Gin? Jack McFarland: [to Josh Lucas] It's like you're Matt Damon and I'm Ben Affleck and I just made "Gigli". Or "Paycheck". Or "Bounce". Or "Jersey Girl". Or "Surviving Christmas".
	Season 8 / Episode 19: - Blanket Apology Jack McFarland: [screaming] Karen! You're bending my ethnic porn!
	Season 8 / Episode 16: - Grace Expectations Jack McFarland: Hey, what's in the bag fag?
	Season 7 / Episode 23: - Friends With Benefits (1) Jack McFarland: [when Beverley approaches him] Beat it, homo!
	Season 7 / Episode 21: - It's A Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad World Jack McFarland: Ah, you missed a great wrap-party at White castle last night. Woho, it was off the hook.
	Season 7 / Episode 16: - Dance Cards & Greeting Cards Jack McFarland: [to Beverley Leslie] I'm Sorry, I'm a little bit confused. Em, how am i gonna put this delicately? You're a raging 'mo yourself
	Season 7 / Episode 12: - Christmas Break Karen: So, what we're doin'? Jack McFarland: What all teenage girls do. Which is remarkable similar to what gay men do. Talk about boys, obsessed of our bodys and make fun of people.
	Season 7 / Episode 12: - Christmas Break Jack McFarland: Wow, that was just like "The O.C.". Just without 25-year old teenagers and 35-year old parents.
	Season 7 / Episode 10: - Queens For A Day (1) Jack McFarland: Hello Ro. He-Ro! I'm Jack, Will's friend. Not like Will and your brother are "friends." Okay. And one day they'll eventually be "roommates." And then the proud parents of a Chinese girl Ro: I know my brother's gay. I've known it since high school when he beat up some guy for saying Lee Majors looked dopey.
	Season 7 / Episode 1: - FYI: I Hurt, Too Jack McFarland: [about Leo] I don't even know how to act around them. Do I like him? Do I hate him? Do I have an accent?
	Season 6 / Episode 3: - Home Court Disadvantage Jack McFarland: Are my khakis done? You know what they say, a wrinkled ass is the devil's playground.
	Season 6 / Episode 3: - Home Court Disadvantage Will Truman: Mamma Mia, here I go again. Jack McFarland: My, my, how can I resist ya? Marilyn Truman: Mamma Mia, does it show again? Will/Jack/Marilyn: My, my, just how much I missed ya!
	Season 6 / Episode 2: - Last Ex To Brooklyn Jack McFarland: She's a girl. She has a Ka-Gina!
	Season 5 / Episode 23: - 23 Jack McFarland: If you weren't Jewish, you'd definitely be going to heaven. Grace Adler: And if you weren't gay, you'd be there too.
	Season 5 / Episode 19: - Sex, Losers, & Videotape Jack McFarland: [Jack onstage teaching acting class.] Thought for the day: Though the eyes are the windows to your soul, the zipper is the window to your underwear.
	Season 5 / Episode 8: - Marry Me A Little (1) Will Truman: Leo, great. And Grace, best of luck. Grace Adler: Best of luck? Well thanks for coming to my Bat Mitzvah, Uncle Hochum! Have a safe drive back to Siaset! Karen Walker: I don't know what half those words meant. Jack McFarland: [nods] Me either.
	Season 5 / Episode 8: - Marry Me A Little (1) Jack McFarland: Um, look, Leo, I know you're new here, and, um, we don't want you to think we're really cliquey and don't let anyone in our little group, but, um, well, we're really cliquey and we don't want anyone in our little group. Karen Walker: So, if you want to break into the fag four, this symbol of gay oppression has got to go.
	Season 5 / Episode 8: - Marry Me A Little (1) Will Truman: Has the whole city gone gay? Jack McFarland: [In evil villain mastermind voice] Not yet. But if all goes as planned... come Monday morning... HAHAHAHAHA!
	Season 5 / Episode 8: - Marry Me A Little (1) Karen Walker: Am I crying yet? Jack McFarland: Not yet. Karen Walker: How about now? Jack McFarland: No. Karen Walker: Stick a pin in me. Jack McFarland: I am.
	Season 4 / Episode 25: - A Buncha White Chicks Sittin' Around Talkin' Jack McFarland: You're hawking your new album in my dream? Cher: Well, somebody's gotta pay for the fog and the dancing fairies!
	Season 4 / Episode 18: - Something Borrowed, Someone's Due (2) Jack McFarland: Now we have to walk all the way back up. This is so stupid! Whatever made you afraid of an elevator anyway? Karen Walker: I'll never forget it. My fellow office workers and I were heading down to lunch, and, suddenly... the lights went out, the elevator dropped and... Dennis Hopper said he would kill us all if his demands weren't met! Karen Walker: Thank God Keanu Reeves was there to get us out! Jack McFarland: Karen, that wasn't you! That was the opening scene of "Speed!" Karen Walker: Oh. You know, that movie was not at all what was advertised. You think you're going to see a feel-good movie about amphetamines, and, suddenly, you're on a bus?
	Season 4 / Episode 15: - Dyeing Is Easy, Comedy Is Hard Jack McFarland: [TO OWEN] Uh, excuse me. As Aretha said to Gloria, Celine, Shania, and Mariah during Divas Live... [AS ARETHA] "Are you trippin'? No one interrupts the Queen of Soul, bitch. Ok?" Owen: Well, I believe she also said, "Hey, Cuba, Canada, cowgirl, Crazy, get out of my light and away from my snacks, bitch."
	Season 4 / Episode 14: - Grace In The Hole Jack McFarland: [Bonnie and Jack have just met, and are the biological parents of a son, Elliot. After seeing Elliot in a flambouyant haircut, Bonnie has forbidden Jack to see him] I'm just gonna take my gay self, live my gay life, and have a gay old time. Bonnie: What are you doing? What is that? Jack McFarland: Oh, come on. The whole reason you don't want me to see him is because you have a problem with gay people. Bonnie: No, I don't. Jack McFarland: Yes, you do. Bonnie: No, I don't. Jack McFarland: Yes, you do. Bonnie: I'm gay, Jack. Jack McFarland: No you're not. Bonnie: Yes I am. I'm gay. Jack McFarland: Prove it! Say something lesbionic! Bonnie: Home Depot. Jack McFarland: k.d. lang, you are a lesbian!
	Season 4 / Episode 14: - Grace In The Hole Jack McFarland: Hi, what's new? Oh, really? That's good, that's great. You guys work hard. You deserve it. Jack McFarland: What's new with me? Not too much. Lookin' good, smellin' good. If I weren't so busy, I'd date myself. Grace Adler: Ok, I read about this. You're never supposed to wake them. Jack McFarland: What's new with my son, Elliot? You ask? Oh, boy? Elliot: Hey, how ya doing? I'll call ya - or not.
	Season 4 / Episode 4: - Prison Blues Jack McFarland: [entering] Morning, camper. Everybody ready to go on a little day trip? I brought my fanny pack, [holds it up] which I will hold as a clutch... so as not to obscure... [turns around] my dynamite fanny. Will Truman: Jack, we're going to visit Stanley Walker in prison. Jack McFarland: Mm-hmm. Will Truman: We're not going to Swishy Pete's Camp for Feminine Boys.
	Season 2 / Episode 20: - Girls, Interrupted Jack McFarland: Oh hey, lady la-la. What are you doing in here? Karen Walker: Oh, Stan's been socking down the herbal Viagra again, and this is the only room in the house he doesn't know about. Shh. Don't tell him. Jack McFarland: Karen, guess what. Tonight I met the One. The man I wanna spend the rest of my life with. Karen Walker: Hey! There is only one man in your life. And her name is Rosario, and don't you forget that. Jack McFarland: His name is Bill. Look. [Takes out a piece of paper] And he gave me a picture of himself. [Gives Karen the flyer] Isn't that a great idea? I'm gonna start passing out pictures of myself to people I meet at clubs. Karen Walker: Did you even read this? Jack McFarland: Well, I read the picture. And it said, "Mommy, mommy, give me some of Jack." Ah! Karen Walker: He is the head of some group called "Welcome Back Home." Jack McFarland: Well, I'm sure it's a typo. He must mean, "Welcome back, Homo." Karen Walker: [reads from the flyer] "It's never too late to get back on the straight and narrow"? Honey, this is a cult! Yeah! Like the Moonies or the homeless. Yes. They're trying to make gay people straight! Good Lord! Don't they know what that'll do to the fall line? Jack McFarland: "We noticed your homosexuality. Make the choice to be straight. Gay is not the way"? Jennifer Jason Leigh, these people are freaks! Karen Walker: Yes. And it looks like your new sweetie has turned his back on homosexuals. And not in the good way. [Turns to look up at the cross hanging above Rosario's bed] No. Don't listen. Jack McFarland: Well, Bill is not straight. I mean, look at us, Kare. We're lovers. [Jack puts Bill's photo next to his face] Karen Walker: Lord. I wonder if Stan's exhausted himself on the body pillow yet. Jack McFarland: Wait! They're having a meeting tomorrow and we have to go. What this organization is advocating is morally wrong, and it is my responsibility to shine the mirror of truth upon them. Karen Walker: Honey... Jack McFarland: Okay, I just wanna make out with Bill. Karen Walker: Okay. Jack McFarland: He's so cute, isn't he? Karen Walker: I know, I know, honey, but it's a waste of time, all right? It's like exercise or reading to your kids. The man thinks he's straight. Jack McFarland: There are no straight men, only men who haven't met Jack. Karen Walker: Yeah, well you can count me out. If you think I'm gonna spend my Sunday morning with a bunch of self-loathing closet cases... Jack McFarland: You'll get to be a lesbian. Karen Walker: Wake me by 11:00.

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