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 | Season 2 / Episode 1: - Progress Dr. Eddy: [to orderly] Sedative. Dr. Eddy: [to Ryan] It's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. Ryan Newman: Wait... that's from Good Will Hunting. Holy shit, you're Robin Williams. Dr. Eddy: Where's the goddamn sedative? Dr. Eddy: What the hell. What are you doing? Orderly #2: Clear. [orderly touches the defibrillator paddles to Dr. Eddy's head] Dr. Eddy: Shazbot. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 13: - Identity Ryan: What are you doing? Wilfred: I'm writing my will. After I'm gone, I don't want you and Bear fighting over my shit. Or any of my other stuff. |
| Season 1 / Episode 13: - Identity Ryan: Who are you? What are you? WHY are you? |
| Season 1 / Episode 13: - Identity Wilfred: Are you sure you want to know? Ryan: Is this a joke? Wilfred: It's not. Ryan, remember the night before we met? The pills you took? Ryan: Yes...? Wilfred: They worked, mate. I'm sorry, Ryan. They worked. You must have notived things here are... different. Seems a little... off, right? Ryan: Am I...? Wilfred: No. You're somewhere in between. Your future depends on the outcome of that settlement meeting tomorrow. If Jenna gets her job back, well... you get to move on. Ryan: So none of this is really happening? Wilfred: Everything on the island is real. The rest is an illusion. Ryan: What island? Wilfred: Ah, forget the last bit. Ryan: WILFRED! Wilfred: Shhh! Smoke monster! Ryan: I've seen Lost, Wilfred. Wilfred: What did you think of the ending? Ryan: Why can't I get a straight answer out of you? Wilfred: Come on, Ryan! These are big existential questions, best left for boring Russian novelist and teenagers on acid! Real people don't think about this shit. |
| Season 1 / Episode 13: - Identity Ryan: This is nothing compared to some of the shit you've pulled. Wilfred: Yeah, but you're not me! You're a good person! And you're a person! |
 | Season 1 / Episode 12: - Sacrifice Ryan: Just because I'm leaving doesn't mean we can't still be friends. Wilfred: Friends? What, you thought we were actually... [laughs] That is hilarious. And a little embarrassing for you, because I never really saw us like that. Mr. Patel: How much for this piece of shit flatscreen TV? Wilfred: You're selling the TV? That is the coldest end of our friendship! |
| Season 1 / Episode 12: - Sacrifice Wilfred: [in Ryan's dream] Ryan Newman. You stand accused of ditching out on the cable guy, not coming up with anything better than undies on the face. Ryan: Wha... what is all this? Wilfred: And the gravest of all charges: selfishly refusing to make a sacrifice for the one you love. These charges are, uh, very serious. They're very serious... charges. As for the seriousness of these charges... They are, well, they're deadly serious. And they are charges. Ryan: What are you talking about? Wilfred: Mr. Newman. It would be wise to let your council speak for you. [Ryan looks over at the council table, where Bear sits] Ryan: Bear? |
| Season 1 / Episode 12: - Sacrifice Wilfred: [in Ryan's dream] Who is the Archaeologist? Ryan: That's in the past. Wilfred: The witness will answer. Who is the Archaeologist? Ryan: I am! Wilfred: That's what they used to call you at your father's firm, isn't it? Because you used to dig up dirt of the opposition. Ryan: Alright! I admit it. What I did was completely unethical! But I was only trying to please my father! Wilfred: You wanna talk about ethics? Is it not unethical to desert the woman you love in her time of need? Cinzia: Me. Jenna: No, me. Drew: Bro! Ryan: These are... I just wanna be happy! Wilfred: How can you be happy, knowing that Jenna's life will be ruined if you abandon her! We all have to make sacrifices for the people we love. It's time to make a choice. What are you going to do? The Attendance: Jenna! Jenna! Jenna! Jenna! Jenna! Jenna! Jenna! Ryan: Please... Wilfred: What are you going to do? [the attendance continues to call Jenna's name. Ryan wakes up, freaked out. He looks at Cinzia with pain in his face] |
| Season 1 / Episode 12: - Sacrifice Ryan: I guess we all have to make sacrifices. Wilfred: Yes, we do. I'm curious, Ryan. What changed your mind? Ryan: [looks over at Jenna] I had a dream. Wilfred: Well. Never underestimate the power of a dream. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 11: - Doubt Ryan: Wilfred... This thing we have. The way we communicate. Have you ever had this sort of relationship with anyone else? Wilfred: Why do you ask? Ryan: Have you? Wilfred: It happened once before. I was at a party. And this guy looked right at me and said: "Hey! What's up, dog? I see you. And I know what you're up to." And I said, "well, I see you too. If you got something to say, say it." Turns out he was talking to the guy right behind me, who had been banging his wife. Ryan, please tell me there's not been a guy standing right behind me ever since we've met? [laughs nervously] Ryan: So nobody else? Wilfred: You're one of a kind, Ryan. |
| Season 1 / Episode 11: - Doubt Bruce: Just ask yourself this: How well do you really know Wilfred? |
| Season 1 / Episode 11: - Doubt Ryan: I don't know who to believe anymore. |
| Season 1 / Episode 11: - Doubt Wilfred: 23 inches, Ryan! |
| Season 1 / Episode 11: - Doubt Bruce: It's not too late for you, Ryan. Get rid of Wilfred. Get your life back. Ryan: Get rid of him? Do you mean, kill him? Bruce: What's wrong with you? You don't kill him! You take him out in the middle of nowhere and ditch him! Ryan: But he's not even my dog, I... Bruce: Shhh! He's not your dog. But he's your problem. |
| Season 1 / Episode 11: - Doubt Ryan: [Wilfred and Bruce are fighting] Stop! [fires a shot up in the air] Wilfred: Not up there, you idiot! He's down here! |
| Season 1 / Episode 11: - Doubt Ryan: I really think I'm gonna be alright. Wilfred: Of course you are. I'm not going anywhere. |
| Season 1 / Episode 11: - Doubt Wilfred: I met Bruce while I was infiltrating the police department for some Irish mobster. Ryan: The Departed? |
 | Season 1 / Episode 10: - Isolation Jenna: Hey! How was your trip? Ryan: What trip? Jenna: Oh... Well, your curtains have been drawn, I haven't seen you for three days... I just assumed. Ryan: Oh, no... I have been here. Just took a little 'stay-cation'. |
| Season 1 / Episode 10: - Isolation Wilfred: Turn your back on the pack, and the pack will turn on you. Any dog would tell you that. |
| Season 1 / Episode 10: - Isolation Ryan: I would never... Wilfred: Never what? Shit in your neighbor's boot? Have sex with a stuffed giraffe in front of a small child? You'd be surprised what we're capable of once we put our mind to it. Ryan: Our mind? |
| Season 1 / Episode 10: - Isolation Wilfred: [about Trashface] He got what he wanted. Ryan: To be remembered as a dead homeless junkie who stole their stuff? Wilfred: Exactly. To be remembered. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 9: - Compassion Ryan: He seems a little... grumpy. Jenna: Yeah, sometimes he gets like this when his mommy is getting out of town. Wilfred: 'When his mommy is getting out of town... ' Like I give a shit. |
| Season 1 / Episode 9: - Compassion Catherine Newman: Who is this little doggie friend? Ryan: Oh, this is Wilfred. I'm watching him for my neighbor. |
| Season 1 / Episode 9: - Compassion Catherine Newman: Don't be such a grouch! But I know how to turn that frown upside down. Fishsticks in peanut butter tacos, your favorite breakfast! Ryan: Thanks, but these days I eat breakfast for breakfast. Can I help you find something? Catherine Newman: Uh, let's see... Pork rinds, Funyuns, and a 12-pack of Visine. I was looking for a glass, but now I'm looking for your weed. |
| Season 1 / Episode 9: - Compassion Catherine Newman: I'm dying to catch up on the family gossip! Is Kristen still into black guys? Ryan: No, Mom, she's been married to Leo for six years. |
| Season 1 / Episode 9: - Compassion Ryan: Mom, what are you doing? Catherine Newman: What does it look like I'm doing, silly? I'm making a statement about corporate greed in the death of selflessness through interpretive movement painting. |
| Season 1 / Episode 9: - Compassion Catherine Newman: Come join me, my child! Wilfred: Thought you'd never ask! |
| Season 1 / Episode 9: - Compassion Ryan: Enough! Why can't you just act normal? Jenna: I have to pee. Catherine Newman: But does she really have to pee? I wonder. |
| Season 1 / Episode 9: - Compassion Ryan: I'm not crazy! Wilfred: Said the man to the dog. |
| Season 1 / Episode 9: - Compassion Ryan: Where did you get this? Catherine Newman: I found Wilfred chewing on it last night. Ryan: [to Wilfred] You son of a bitch! Wilfred: How is that an insult? I've never understood that. |
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