Colin Mochrie

Whose Line Is It Anyway?

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Colin Mochrie
Colin Andrew Mochrie was born Nov. 30, 1957, in Kilmarnock, Scotland. His father, an airline maintenance ...

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Colin Mochrie Quotes

	Season 6 / Episode 2: - Show No. 424 Colin Mochrie: We have more songs on here than you can count! [pause] Well that's not true but it sounded good! Ryan Stiles: Well I said before there were 6 songs but you just kept talking and talking. [laughter from audience and Drew] Colin Mochrie: [looks at Ryan] What happened to you?
	Season 5 / Episode 31: - Show No. 520 Ryan Stiles: What do I look like? Wayne Brady: Did you hear that? Colin Mochrie: Yeah, I did hear that. Ryan Stiles: What do I look like? Colin Mochrie: Shut up! All right, Ryan Stiles: [interrupting, in a whisper] What do I look like? Colin Mochrie: I'll tell you what you look like: a big stick with a big nose!
	Season 5 / Episode 31: - Show No. 520 Ryan Stiles: And by the way, when I said "a rug", I meant like a rug Ryan Stiles: not a Colin Mochrie: When I said "a stick with a big nose", what I meant was Ryan Stiles: "Icehole"!
	Season 5 / Episode 1: - Show No. 511 Whoopi Goldberg: [Questions Only - Last night on a single's cruise] Can't you leave me alone? Wayne Brady: Is that the color purple? Whoopi Goldberg: Are you Helen Keller? Wayne Brady: Don't you want some of this? [starts dancing] Whoopi Goldberg: Didn't I have that and throw it out? Whoopi Goldberg: [Wayne starts laughing] Wasn't it just a bit on the wee side? [Wayne walks off stage] Colin Mochrie: Do you want some of this? [dances weird] Whoopi Goldberg: Are you crazy? Colin Mochrie: Did you know there's only two hours left? Whoopi Goldberg: Would I care if I knew? Colin Mochrie: Can't you make me a man? Whoopi Goldberg: Don't you think it's too late? [Audience starts laughing hysterically] Colin Mochrie: Don't you want to feel the pleasure that only one other woman has felt? Whoopi Goldberg: Is that the one who died? Colin Mochrie: Who knew 87 orgasms could kill you? Whoopi Goldberg: Are you telling me that you've had 87 orgasms and this is what I have to look forward to? Colin Mochrie: Don't you know it's not the package? Whoopi Goldberg: Has someone lied to you? Don't you think if I could, I would with you? Colin Mochrie: Why are you fighting this? Whoopi Goldberg: Do you think I'm fighting? Colin Mochrie: Don't you know I can read your eyes? [leans in close to Whoopi] Whoopi Goldberg: [kisses Colin quickly, walks off stage after buzzer] Ryan Stiles: How's it feel to kiss a woman for a change?
	Season 4 / Episode 28: - Show No. 431 Colin Mochrie: [Greatest Hits - Songs of the Flight attendent] One of my favorite styles, as you know, because we spend a lot of time together... Ryan Stiles: Shhh, shhh... Colin Mochrie: -unnaturally almost. I, uh, I love my Metal. Ryan Stiles: Oh. Colin Mochrie: And I love the hyper-metal sounds of [shouting] THRASH! AND THEIR GREAT FLIGHT ATTENDANT SONG... [cuts to Drew, who is laughing hysterically] [cuts back to Ryan and Colin, who is still shouting loudly] 'DO YOU WANT MEAT OR FISH?'
	Season 4 / Episode 20: - Show No. 415 Drew Carey: You're not the first girl scout I've seen possessed by the devil. Ryan Stiles: Those weren't real girl scouts. They were just girls you paid to PRETEND to be girl scouts. Drew Carey: Tell your wife I said hello [pause] Let's just stop this, I love you man. Colin Mochrie: Hey come on, make fun of the bald guy! I'll be your lightening rod of hate!
	Season 4 / Episode 20: - Show No. 415 Drew Carey: [Colin's battery back has come loose] Are you ok? Colin Mochrie: I'm fine Drew. Thank you. I've just lost my battery back somewhere in the area of my buttocks. That's ok, my pack is half way up my ass. Wayne Brady, Greg Proops, Ryan Stiles: [singing] My pack is half way up my ass.
	Season 4 / Episode 20: - Show No. 415 Colin Mochrie: [Weird things to hear from the voices in side your head] I'm the little voice in your head. No I'm the little voice in your head. No, I'm the voice in your head...
	Season 4 / Episode 13: - Too Hot For Whose Line -- Show No. 418 Colin Mochrie: Sometimes I just wonder why I talk to you. Ryan Stiles: Because if you didn't, you wouldn't be talking to anyone. Colin Mochrie: That's right, and I'd still get better answers.
	Season 3 / Episode 37: - Show No. 344 Drew Carey: [at the end of the "Howard" song - the song ended up going unexpectedly fast for some reason] You had a little "Cooger breakdown" there, right? What happened to the [drum machine] ? Laura Hall: [laughing] Um, it's hard to explain. I'm so sorry! Drew Carey: No, I didn't even know the Village people did polkas. [more laughter] It was really fun Colin Mochrie: I didn't think it was that noticable. [more laughter] Drew Carey: All of a sudden it was like "da-na-na-na-na-na-na.". [laughter] Man, it was like a wind-up monkey. Greg Proops: [in a 50's style surfer voice] Watch out for those tempo changes, maaan. Cause when we go into the second bridge, this shit takes off. [everyone cracks up]
	Season 3 / Episode 37: - Show No. 344 Drew Carey: [after the keyboard incident] You had a little equipment breakdown, right? What happened to the...? Laura Hall: [laughing] Uh, It's hard to explain. I'm so sorry. Drew Carey: That's okay. No, I didn't know the Village People even did polkas. That was really fun. Colin Mochrie: I didn't think it was that noticeable. Drew Carey: Yeah, it was all "da-na-na-na-na-na-na." Man, it was like a wind-up monkey. Greg Proops: [to Wayne in a 50's surfer voice] Watch out for those tempo changes, man. 'Cause when we go into the second bridge, this sh*t takes off. [everyone cracks up]
	Season 2 / Episode 20: - Show No. 215 Colin Mochrie: Would you pay over two hundred bucks for this collection? Ryan Stiles: Well, I wouldn't! Colin Mochrie: And what about those of us who only have one network show?
	Season 2 / Episode 20: - Show No. 215 Colin Mochrie: When I was a young boy, I had a dog named Joe. And whenever he'd get too far, I'd put on a Yoko Ono record and he would come running back really quickly. And luckily, that song is on this album: the great Yoko Ono attorney hit, "Attor-NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYY!"
	Season 2 / Episode 11: - Show No. 222 Colin Mochrie: [excited] Today on "Celebrity Phlegm"...!
	Season 2 / Episode 2: - Show No. 205 Brad Sherwood: [SFAH: Celebrity endorsements doomed to fail] I'm Bette Davis for anti-aging cream. Wayne Brady: I'm Mike Tyson for Encyclopaedia Brittanica. Ryan Stiles: [as Christopher Lloyd] I forgot what the hell I was sellin'! Colin Mochrie: Hi, I'm Colin Mochrie for Rogaine.
	Season 1 / Episode 12: - Show No. 119 Brad Sherwood: [Hoedown about going bald] I'm losing my hair and it really is a pain/I find out every morning when I see the shower drain/ But as you can see, it isn't quite for me/ But at least I'm not quite as bald as Colin Moch-a-rie Drew Carey: Aw man! He took my rhyme! I was going to do that! Drew Carey: [Sung] I have all my hair, and I really am quite happy/ I like putting stuff in my hair, it makes me look real snappy/I like to comb my hair, I never need a breather/ I'm so happy I'm not Colin Mochrie either! Colin Mochrie: People always kid me because I'm losing all my hair/ I can't really help it that I'm folically impaired/It really is quite horrible, but my life is not through/ I still get way more sex than either Brad or Drew!
	Season 1 / Episode 5: - Show No. 105 Ryan Stiles: [as Count Dracula in game, 'Whose Line'] When my teeth are in your neck you'll cry for me to stop like all the others! You'll say [pulls line out from pocket] 'Your fanny is a masterpiece!' [audience cheers, he rubs his butt] LOOK AT IT! Looooooooook at it! Colin Mochrie: [moving towards Ryan’s butt then pulling back] NO! I will not be tempted by the fanny of darkness!
	Season 1 / Episode 3: - Show No. 106 Colin Mochrie: [Greatest Hits of the Bus Driver] Remember this Michael Jackson hit- "You're not on my root"- wait, is it route? Route!
	Season 1 / Episode 3: - Show No. 106 Colin Mochrie: [Greatest hits of the bus driver] You know while driving on a bus, or as our Canadian friends say, a "boos", as our regular viewers know... Ryan Stiles: You made me giggle! Colin Mochrie: I know [chuckles]
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - Show No. 104 Brad Sherwood: [Let's Make a Date- Brad is the contestant, Colin thinks Brad is repulsive] Bachelor Number Two! If I were a damsel in distress, how might you rescue me? Colin Mochrie: I'd have to think about it first... hopefully, if your face was on fire I'd beat it out... Brad Sherwood: Look deep into my eyes and tell me what you think! Colin Mochrie: [Interrupting] Oh, no, no, no, no, no! Brad Sherwood: Wooo me! Colin Mochrie: What you? Brad Sherwood: Woooooo meee! Colin Mochrie: Alright, just this once! WOO! WOO! WOO! Brad Sherwood: You might not win! Colin Mochrie: [Gives a thumbs up sign]
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Show No. 103 Colin Mochrie: Out of great boredom comes great songs!
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Show No. 103 Colin Mochrie: Every song a hit! Every hit a smack!
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Show No. 103 Ryan Stiles: Hey, Colin. Colin Mochrie: What, Ryan? Ryan Stiles: How much money would you pay for a 2-CD set like this? Colin Mochrie: Well, I don't know. $39.00? Ryan Stiles: Unfortunately, it's $69.95. Colin Mochrie: But I was talking $39.00 in a foreign currency, which doesn't quite...
	Unknown Episode: Colin Mochrie: I need a hammer. Ryan Stiles: I knew he needed a hammer. He also needed a couple of nails and a good screw.
	Unknown Episode: Colin Mochrie: The other day I stole something, it really was a sin / It was a little revolver made of gelatin / It was a really bad idea, something I should have slept on/ 'Cause I was arrested for carrying a congealed weapon.
	Unknown Episode: Colin Mochrie: Now over to our weatherman, Dwayne TheBathtub.
	Unknown Episode: Colin Mochrie: About the Village People I have a lot of facts. / Did you know they made a movie? Yes, they act. / It really is quite wonderful, I can't believe my eyes, / If you laid them end to end, I wouldn't be surprised.
	Unknown Episode: Colin Mochrie: I let him think for a while 'cause I knew he had the answer. I knew it was a good answer, and he was going to tell it to me. 'Cause when you ask a question, you expect an answer. That's the way it works... question, answer, answer, question. If he gave the answer, I'd have to come up with the question. That would be Jeopardy. That's wrong.
	Unknown Episode: Drew Carey: [scenes from a hat] Difficult questions for mommy to answer. Wayne Brady: Mommy, how come no one looks like me on "Friends"? Colin Mochrie: Mommy, how come no one looks like me on "Friends"? Drew Carey: If you weren't listening, I said difficult questions! Colin Mochrie: I'm adorable.
	Unknown Episode: Drew Carey: [Scenes from a hat] Bad causes to raise money for. Ryan Stiles: Give Drew Carey a third show? Anyone? Colin Mochrie: Bathe the whales!

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