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Characters: #3 of 10 (Full List)
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Played by:
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 | Season 5 / Episode 6: - A Modest Proposal Doug Wilson: We ask ourselves what would Georges Hamilton do. Silas Botwin: What? Why? Doug Wilson: The man slept with his step-mother when he was 12 years old, clearly he can do anything. |
 | Season 4 / Episode 3: - The Whole Blah Damn Thing Silas Botwin: [while arguing whether or not to mercy-kill Bubby] Yeah, sure. Death is no big deal. Because life is just... blah, blah, blah. Andy Botwin: Look, Silas. Life is just blah, blah, blah. You hope for Blah, and sometimes you find it, but mostly it's blah. And waiting for blah. And hoping you were right about the blahs you made. And then, just when you think you've got the whole blah damn thing figured out, and you're surrounded by the ones you blah, death shows up. And blah, blah, blah. Silas Botwin: [sighs] Alright. Let's do this. Shane Botwin: [to Andy] That was good. Andy Botwin: I have my moments. |
 | Season 2 / Episode 5: - Mrs. Botwin's Neighborhood Silas Botwin: Why do you have a home pregnancy test? Nancy Botwin: D-do you *want* me to kill you? |
| Season 2 / Episode 5: - Mrs. Botwin's Neighborhood Nancy Botwin: [about Megan being pregnant] How did this happen? Silas Botwin: You don't wanna hear it. Nancy Botwin: Oh, but I really do. Silas Botwin: If I had to bet on it, I'd say it was three weeks ago in my room. Doggy style. When I pulled out the condom was gone. Megan has really strong muscles, must've sucked the thing right off. Nancy Botwin: Ah-ahh. Stop, stop, stop. Silas Botwin: You asked. You want to be the cool Mom. Nancy Botwin: No. No, I don't. There are a million things in this world I want to be. 'Cool Mom,' nowhere on that list. Silas Botwin: [Megan shows her the pregnancy test; positive] Well, I hope Grandma's on that list. |
 | Season 2 / Episode 1: - Corn Snake Silas Botwin: You didn't tell me she couldn't sleep over. C'mon, Nancy. Nancy Botwin: [irritated] Stop calling me Nancy! My name is *Mom*. Or 'Mommy Dearest'... |
 | Season 1 / Episode 4: - Fashion of the Christ Silas Botwin: [reading a t-shirt] "Chris died for your sins." Is that a joke? Andy Botwin: Yeah, on me. That's what happens when you outsource to fucking Malaysia. 8-year-olds in a sweat shop can't spell for shit. |
 | Unknown Episode: Quinn: Ok, we are breaking up. Silas Botwin: Come on, think of all the time this will save us on foreplay, just whisper, "Shoot me in the optimum kill zone," I'll be good to go. Quinn: I could whisper, "Linoleum" and you'd be good to go. |
| Previous: Andy Botwin | Next: Shane Botwin |
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