Veronica Mars Quotes

Veronica Mars

- Episode Quotes

Fun Facts:

	Season 3 / Episode 20: - The Bitch is Back Cindy 'Mac' Mackenzie: I feel so bad for Wallace. He needs more thrust. Logan: Don't say it. Dick Casablancas: That's what she said.
	Season 3 / Episode 19: - Weevils Wobble But They Don't Go Down Veronica: I think I read in Teen People that a clean leg shave will make that special boy sit up and take notice. Cindy 'Mac' Mackenzie: I read in FHM that boys like bare breasts Veronica: Interesting. I did not know that. Bare breasts you say?
	Season 3 / Episode 19: - Weevils Wobble But They Don't Go Down Patrick Nickerson: Hang up. Please. We can work this out. Yeah, you can be one of us. Veronica: Is this where you turn me into a vampire?
	Season 3 / Episode 19: - Weevils Wobble But They Don't Go Down Cindy 'Mac' Mackenzie: What's with the food police? Veronica: She has the right to remain famished.
	Season 3 / Episode 19: - Weevils Wobble But They Don't Go Down Cindy 'Mac' Mackenzie: Hey. Did anyone else hear there's going to be a Matchbox Twenty reunion show? Stosh 'Piz' Piznarski: So? Rob Thomas is a whore.
	Season 3 / Episode 18: - I Know What You'll Do Next Summer Veronica Mars: [answering phone] Mars Investigations, Detective Mars speaking.
	Season 3 / Episode 18: - I Know What You'll Do Next Summer Veronica Mars: A girl, a teenager and a private detective. I'm a tripple threat. Barely fits on my business card.
	Season 3 / Episode 17: - Debasement Tapes Veronica Mars: [while watching a movie] I can't believe this is a class Wallace Fennel: Hey, without film studies, how we know a movies made?
	Season 3 / Episode 17: - Debasement Tapes Veronica Mars: [pointing at the computer screen] What's that? Desmond Fellows: Did she try to draw herself? Veronica Mars: It's a chinese character.
	Season 3 / Episode 17: - Debasement Tapes Veronica Mars: What are you taking pills for? Desmond Fellows: You know, life.
	Season 3 / Episode 15: - Papa's Cabin Wallace: i'm just telling you this because it looked like it was something, like they were connecting. What? Veronica: I'm just trying to figure out which Gilmore Girl you are.
	Season 3 / Episode 14: - Mars, Bars Sheriff Don Lamb: I know you from somewhere. Wallace Fennel: Yeah! You told me to go see the Wizard and ask him for some guts. Sheriff Don Lamb: Well didja? Wallace Fennel: Yeah! He said to let you know you're the only sheriff in America who he considers a true friend of Dorothy.
	Season 3 / Episode 14: - Mars, Bars Keith: [Veronica is in jail] Please tell me you didn't help an accused murderer escape jail. Veronica: Yo Pops, check it out. This girl ain't gonna be nobody's bitch. You better recognize. Keith: [re: a fake tattoo] What's that on your arm? Veronica: I've had some free time. And, no, I didn't help Josh escape - not intentionally. Turns out he's allergic to peanuts. His plan was to take advantage of my kindness. Keith: That's gotta be the first time that's worked for anybody. Veronica: [Cliff McCormack walks in] Clifford, something wrong? Cliff McCormack: I've just remembered I need to return "Caged Heat" to the video store. You folks wanna hear the good news or the bad news first? Keith: I'm gonna say the good news. Cliff McCormack: Josh's cellmate and key witness to the Cookie Incident ate the evidence and, icing on the cake, blew a .21 on the breathalizer when they booked him. No way Lamb can get a conviction and he knows it. Keith: That sounds like great news. Cliff McCormack: But, he's gonna hold Veronica as long as he possibly can. Keith: Can I get you anything, honey? Veronica: Uh, couple cartons of smokes. [Keith gives her a look] What, Dad, it's currency on the inside. Keith: Any guess where I might find Josh? Veronica: Mexico? Keith: So you think he did it? Veronica: I don't know. If he didn't, he sure panicked quickly. Keith: That's what I thought too. Cliff McCormack: Anyone wanna know what I think? [silence] Fine, I'll keep it to myself. I'm just saying, my entire day is spent going through my clients' lives. This kid, he's on the up and up. Keith: Okay, I've got an appointment with Dean O'Dell's old assistant. I can't just put his murder case on hold. [gives Veronica a look] Veronica: What? Keith: Just, I thought this sight would be more traumatic for me, but... [shrugs]
	Season 3 / Episode 14: - Mars, Bars Keith: I need to see the sheriff. Deputy Sacks: I don't know, Keith, he looks kind of busy. Keith: Oh, that's something I gotta see.
	Season 3 / Episode 14: - Mars, Bars Parker Lee: Logan, can we, like, borrow you? Logan: Will I be returned in my current pristine condition?
	Season 3 / Episode 11: - Poughkeepsie, Tramps, and Thieves Madison Sinclair: [in lingere store] Oh, didn't you know? Logan and I hooked up over the summer. I guess you guys were split, huh? Well, as a friend, he's not too big on the one-piece numbers. [walks away]
	Season 3 / Episode 10: - Show Me the Monkey Cindy 'Mac' Mackenzie: I prefer most of the people on my floor not in my room.
	Season 3 / Episode 10: - Show Me the Monkey Bronson Pope: Your friend seems pretty gung ho. Cindy 'Mac' Mackenzie: Veronica? She played pee wee soccer; she made her own penalty card so she could red card players she didn't like.
	Season 3 / Episode 10: - Show Me the Monkey Veronica Mars: Someone was doe-eyed, tongue-tied, and dare I say twitterpated.
	Season 3 / Episode 10: - Show Me the Monkey Dick Casablancas: So what... You're just going to mope around like the guy in... What's that book when the guy's mom dies and he comes back to Jersey? And he's got that motorcycle sidecar? Logan Echolls: Garden State was never a book. Dick Casablancas: It wasn't? Oops... So much for that paper. But, if this were a book, the theme of my essay would be the symbolism of how your character had his man parts ripped off by the Veronica Mars character. Logan Echolls: My man parts are intact. Dick Casablancas: Show me. Logan Echolls: You're going to have to take my word for it. Dick Casablancas: I mean symbolically. We're young, single men in our sexual prime. And the only reason we're not out there going hog wild is because of your feelings? What are we on The View? Am I Rosie O'Donnell?
	Season 3 / Episode 10: - Show Me the Monkey Veronica Mars: [discussing rats showing up at Bronson's house] Like, in a tiny van with a sob story about needing a place to crash?
	Season 3 / Episode 10: - Show Me the Monkey Cindy 'Mac' Mackenzie: Does this say cruelty free? Parker Lee: It says... I've given up... don't look at me.
	Season 3 / Episode 10: - Show Me the Monkey Veronica Mars: We're talking monkey? As in... Cindy 'Mac' Mackenzie: Touch my.
	Season 3 / Episode 10: - Show Me the Monkey Cindy 'Mac' Mackenzie: Wow... this is one trashed lab. All it's missing is a big hole in the wall shaped like the Hulk.
	Season 3 / Episode 10: - Show Me the Monkey Veronica Mars: You should hire someone to do this. Keith Mars: You're lucky I'm not a farmer, you'd be out plowing a field.
	Season 3 / Episode 10: - Show Me the Monkey Professor McGregor: The only way to conclusively prove test results is through an autopsy. Veronica Mars: So that monkey good life includes a blindfold and a last smoke?
	Season 3 / Episode 10: - Show Me the Monkey Veronica Mars: According to the PHAT website, we should stay away from fur, obviously, down, leather. Cindy 'Mac' Mackenzie: The one day I feel like wearing a leather miniskirt! Veronica Mars: If it ever had a face or a parent, you can't wear it. Cindy 'Mac' Mackenzie: So my mollusk shoes are cool?
	Season 3 / Episode 10: - Show Me the Monkey Veronica: Like, why settle for something not good just cause it's something?
	Season 3 / Episode 10: - Show Me the Monkey Emi: [adjusting thermostat] You've got the AC on full. If you want to see my nipples, just ask. Gil Thomas Pardy: [raises hand]
	Season 3 / Episode 10: - Show Me the Monkey Stosh 'Piz' Piznarski: These guys were all like, "as long as she's got a pair of... ” You know, it was indelicate. Veronica: What's indelicate about shoes?

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