Wallace Fennel

Veronica Mars

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Played by:

Percy Daggs III

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Wallace Fennel Quotes

	Season 3 / Episode 17: - Debasement Tapes Veronica Mars: [while watching a movie] I can't believe this is a class Wallace Fennel: Hey, without film studies, how we know a movies made?
	Season 3 / Episode 14: - Mars, Bars Sheriff Don Lamb: I know you from somewhere. Wallace Fennel: Yeah! You told me to go see the Wizard and ask him for some guts. Sheriff Don Lamb: Well didja? Wallace Fennel: Yeah! He said to let you know you're the only sheriff in America who he considers a true friend of Dorothy.
	Season 3 / Episode 9: - Spit & Eggs Veronica Mars: Do your own thing at the party, but if you see a girl who looks out of it, sneak up to her drink, dip the coaster in, see if it turns red. If it does, the drink is dosed. Wallace Fennel: And if you see a really cute girl and you want to dance with her? Veronica Mars: Dance. Just know that your libido caused some girl to get raped. Wallace Fennel: That kinda takes the fun out of it. Veronica Mars: Hey, it's your life. Wallace Fennel: Since when? Veronica Mars: See? You give me a hard time, I'm less enthusiastic about giving you the little "thanks for helping" presents I made for everybody this afternoon. Congratulations. You're all twenty-one.
	Season 3 / Episode 9: - Spit & Eggs Moe Flater: I don't exactly know how to put this. It's the sort of thing that makes me hate being a resident advisor, but I have to ask. Someone has been leaving a surprise in the third stall every day for the past two weeks. This person apparently never learned how to flush and it's my amateur medical opinion that he's suffering from what must be a terminal disease. So? Wallace Fennel: Not guilty, man. Stosh 'Piz' Piznarski: Third stall stage right or stage left? Moe Flater: Stage right. Stosh 'Piz' Piznarski: Yeah, not guilty either.
	Season 3 / Episode 9: - Spit & Eggs Veronica Mars: I'm not looking for a pity party. Wallace Fennel: That's good, cause I always get stuck blowing up the pity balloons.
	Season 3 / Episode 8: - Lord of the Pi's Wallace Fennel: Man, all of my orifices just went into lockdown.
	Season 3 / Episode 6: - Hi, Infidelity Veronica Mars: [Knock knock knock... ] Wallace? Wallace Fennel: Not here. Veronica Mars: And you would be? Wallace Fennel: Evil Wallace. And I know Veronica Mars doesn't hang with the evil and morally bankrupt.
	Season 3 / Episode 6: - Hi, Infidelity Professor David Winkler: Mr. Fennel. I was under the impression you dropped the class. Wallace Fennel: I said I'd think about it. Professor David Winkler: You sure this is a smart choice? Wallace Fennel: Probably not. But you've seen my standardized test scores. I'm not a particularly smart guy, right?
	Season 3 / Episode 4: - Charlie Don't Surf Wallace Fennel: I liked the other place you worked better. Veronica Mars: Think maybe that's because we had food there?
	Season 3 / Episode 1: - Welcome Wagon Wallace Fennel: Took this side. I hope that's cool. Stosh 'Piz' Piznarski: Yeah, no sweat. I rarely wear clothes indoors, I hope that's cool. Wallace Fennel: [chuckles, then stops abruptly] That's not cool at all.
	Season 3 / Episode 1: - Welcome Wagon Veronica Mars: So gang, are we ready to rock? Cindy "Mac" Mackenzie: No. Wallace Fennel: Not particularly. Veronica Mars: That's the spirit!
	Season 3 / Episode 1: - Welcome Wagon Veronica Mars: You guys are pathetic. Wallace Fennel: It's a white man's sport. Veronica Mars: Yeah, 'cause I was talking about the hacky sack.
	Season 3 / Episode 1: - Welcome Wagon Veronica Mars: And you call yourselves college men. Where are the posters of beer and half naked ladies? Wallace Fennel: Oh, they're behind the case of porn and my shot glass collection.
	Season 2 / Episode 21: - Happy Go Lucky Veronica Mars: Do you know how long I've wanted to go to Stanford? Wallace Fennel: Since middle school. Veronica Mars: Elementary, my dear Wallace. [smiles at her own pun] Do you know how long I've waited to say that?
	Season 2 / Episode 12: - Rashard and Wallace Go to White Castle Wallace Fennel: You got my future in your hands, don't drop it.
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Normal is the Watchword Veronica Mars: Got any enemies you know about? Wallace Fennel: Well, there's the Klan. Veronica Mars: This is not really their M.O. Wallace Fennel: I guess that leaves everybody that hates you.
	Season 1 / Episode 19: - Hot Dogs Wallace Fennel: I walked in on 'em making out last night. She was sitting on his lap... Veronica Mars: Hey! Hey, hey! No discussing parental PDA at lunch! It's your rule! Wallace Fennel: I'm sorry! I can't be the only one with that image burned in my brain!
	Season 1 / Episode 14: - Mars vs. Mars Wallace Fennel: If you are caught with this, I will disavow any knowledge of you or your mission. You'll be on your own. Veronica Mars: Don't worry. I've got a cyanide capsule in a false tooth. If I'm caught, I'll do the honourable thing.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Wallace Fennel: That might play with the masses, but underneath that angry young woman shell, there's a slightly less angry young woman who's just dying to bake me something. You're a marshmallow, Veronica Mars. A twinkie!
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Wallace Fennel: Girl, you should hear what people say about you. Veronica Mars: So then what are you doing sitting here? Wallace Fennel: You sat next to me. Veronica Mars: This is my table. Wallace Fennel: And what a fine table it is. What do you suppose this is made of? [knocks table] Oak?
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Wallace Fennel: I suddenly feel like I'm in a scene from The Outsiders. Veronica Mars: Be cool, Sodapop.
	Unknown Episode: Wallace Fennel: Thanks to you, I now have the reputation of being a jock-sniffer.

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