Keith Mars

Veronica Mars

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Played by:

Enrico Colantoni

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Keith Mars Quotes

	Season 3 / Episode 10: - Show Me the Monkey Veronica Mars: You should hire someone to do this. Keith Mars: You're lucky I'm not a farmer, you'd be out plowing a field.
	Season 3 / Episode 9: - Spit & Eggs Keith Mars: Soup? You know how I feel about soup. It's a side dish. Veronica Mars: There's a meat loaf in the oven. Keith Mars: Now we're talking.
	Season 3 / Episode 9: - Spit & Eggs Veronica Mars: Going somewhere? Keith Mars: Oh, very good number one daughter. You might make a detective yet.
	Season 3 / Episode 8: - Lord of the Pi's Veronica Mars: The park is closed. The walrus out front should have told you. Keith Mars: Honey, stealthy, remember? Veronica Mars: Right! Sorry
	Season 3 / Episode 7: - Of Vice and Men Veronica Mars: Look, Dad. Do what you gotta do, OK? I've seen too much working here to ever be surprised again. Keith Mars: I know you Veronica, you're not that jaded. Veronica Mars: I didn't use to be. I had this one shining example, that gave me some faith.
	Season 3 / Episode 6: - Hi, Infidelity Veronica Mars: You're going on a date with a married woman. Keith Mars: It's not a date. We saw a movie, had a drink, and talked. Veronica Mars: Which is a date.
	Season 3 / Episode 6: - Hi, Infidelity Keith Mars: When did crappy old shirts with stupid stuff on them become cool? Veronica Mars: I don't know why I ask you these things. Keith Mars: I don't know either frankly.
	Season 3 / Episode 6: - Hi, Infidelity Keith Mars: It's great talking to someone for whom 'bogart' isn't a verb.
	Season 3 / Episode 5: - President Evil Cyrus O'Dell: You're going to need to trace her call, right? Keith Mars: Probably, yeah. Cyrus O'Dell: How do you plan on keeping her on the line? I can say half a sentence and get her to yell at me for three hours.
	Season 3 / Episode 4: - Charlie Don't Surf Veronica Mars: Remember that case a couple years ago where that woman was impersonating her boss? How did you obtain the ATM photos that proved it? Keith Mars: I know a guy, a representative of the bank. He needs to request a court order and once the court order is issued, it only takes about an hour to get the photos. Veronica Mars: So, it's a piece of cake. Keith Mars: A monkey with a friend who's a bank representative can do it. Veronica Mars: So, Bubbles. You feel like doing me a solid? Hm?
	Season 3 / Episode 4: - Charlie Don't Surf Veronica Mars: Umm, did you trip and fall onto sandalwood, musk, and a hint of spicy citrus or is that cologne? Keith Mars: It's aftershave. I'm going to traffic court. Veronica Mars: Sexy traffic court? Keith Mars: Hmm. Nice shoes. You change your major to Women's Studies? Veronica Mars: Ha! Yuk it up, fancy pants.
	Season 3 / Episode 4: - Charlie Don't Surf Keith Mars: Is it possible your boyfriend's financial problems are just his champagne wishes and caviar dreams biting him on the ass? Veronica Mars: One solid-gold foosball table and a couple of man-servants and suddenly he's spendy.
	Season 3 / Episode 3: - Wichita Linebacker (a.k.a Friday Night Sleights) Keith Mars: [talking about Weevil] Didn't he get arrested for murder? Veronica Mars: Assault. Keith Mars: He's not even good at murder.
	Season 3 / Episode 2: - My Big Fat Greek Rush Week Keith Mars: Sup? Veronica Mars: I'm not acknowledging that.
	Season 3 / Episode 1: - Welcome Wagon Keith Mars: Hot dog! Veronica Mars: Hot dog? Keith Mars: It's an expression of excitement and enthusiasm. Joe and Frank Hardy and I used to say "Hot dog!" all the time, while we were waiting for the carhop to bring us our malteds at the drive-in. Veronica Mars: Drive-in? Keith Mars: I hate you. Veronica Mars: You love me. Keith Mars: Yeah, but it's all instinct.
	Season 3 / Episode 1: - Welcome Wagon Keith Mars: Veronica, there are some things in life where you will have to defer to my age and experience. And that, sweet child of mine, is the Chrysler building. Veronica Mars: Hmm... senility... that comes with age too right?
	Season 2 / Episode 12: - Rashard and Wallace Go to White Castle Keith Mars: Veronica! Veronica Mars: What? Keith Mars: I believe the correct response is, how can I be of service, sir?
	Season 2 / Episode 10: - One Angry Veronica Keith Mars: It's not always easy doing the right thing. Veronica: If that phrase isn't on the Mars-family crest it should be.
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Normal is the Watchword Keith Mars: What's up, honey? Veronica Mars: Wallace is having a little trouble giving me a urine sample. Keith Mars: Can't you talk on the phone and paint your nails like other girls?
	Season 1 / Episode 14: - Mars vs. Mars Keith Mars: Honey? If I were in trouble, I'd want you on my side. Veronica Mars: Well, that's where I'd be.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Keith Mars: Say what you want about real cheese. I am a fan of the orange powder packet stuff.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Keith Mars: Who's your daddy? Veronica Mars: I hate it when you say that.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Keith Mars: I nailed our bail jumper one hundred yards from Mexico... Twenty five hundred bucks. No sack dinners tonight. Tonight we eat, like the lower middle class to which we aspire. Fire up the 'bachie.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Keith Mars: You know what, this is important. You remember this: I used to be cool. Veronica Mars: When? Keith Mars: '77. Trans-Am, Blue Oyster Cult in the 8-track, a foxy stacked blonde riding shotgun, racing for pink slips. Aw, wait a minute, I'm thinking of a Springsteen song. Scratch everything, I was never cool. Veronica Mars: I don't know which bothers me more, "foxy" or "stacked"...

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