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Marty Deeks Quotes
 | Season 2 / Episode 7: - Anonymous Kensi Blye: I hotwired a Cessna once. Marty Deeks: Why? Seriously, why would you need to hotwire a airplane? |
| Season 2 / Episode 7: - Anonymous Nurse Lisa: All of our meals are catered by the Beverly Hills Culinary Institute. They developed a very special liquid diet for us. Marty Deeks: Kiki here loves a liquid diet. Don't you |
| Season 2 / Episode 7: - Anonymous Sam Hanna: Any luck with Jillian? Kensi Blye: Yeah. Yeah, I found her. He lost her. Marty Deeks: Don't want to talk about it. Kensi Blye: He left a trail of angry *violated* women in Malibu. Gloria Allred might be calling just so you know. Marty Deeks: Okay, that was a gross exaggeration - peppered. |
| Season 2 / Episode 7: - Anonymous Sam Hanna: [In Interrogation] Hey, I have kids too. I understand. You just want to protect them. Marty Deeks: [Watching] Kids? Plural? You knew this? 'G' Callen: Yep. Kensi Blye: So what's the story? [Callen walks away] What's the story? [Callen continues to ignore her] That's it? |
| Season 2 / Episode 7: - Anonymous Marty Deeks: Callen? Come on, man. Chicks really dig the James Bond look. 'G' Callen: Well, I don't think a little male bonding would hurt anyone. Sam? Sam Hanna: Hmph. Somebody's gotta keep you two fools out of trouble. Marty Deeks: This is what I'm talking about. Because this is going to be awesome! I know the perfect spot too. We are going to make out like bandits! [Hetty appears] Ooo. Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: Gentlemen. Going somewhere? 'G' Callen: Just going to grab a little celebratory cocktail on a job well done. Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: Not in my tuxedos you're not. Sam Hanna: We'll only be a few hours, Hetty. We won't get into any fights or anything. Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: March! Marty Deeks: Now I know how Cinderella felt with her evil stepmother. Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: I heard that, Mr. Deeks. |
 | Season 2 / Episode 4: - Special Delivery Sam Hanna: Hetty's Birthday. Every year it's the same thing. She doesn't want a gift. She doesn't want a party. Marty Deeks: So every year you give her a gift and throw her a party. Kensi Blye: Of course. Marty Deeks: What if she really doesn't want one? Sam Hanna: What if she says she doesn't and really does? Marty Deeks: Her feelings could be hurt if you don't Sam Hanna: Exactly. Marty Deeks: On the other hand, she's going to be really angry if she actually doesn't and you do. 'G' Callen: Exactly. |
| Season 2 / Episode 4: - Special Delivery Kensi Blye: In this day and age, why would you write anything but your signature by hand? Marty Deeks: Doesn't make sense. Sam Hanna: It's ridiculous. Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: What have I done to put together a group with no appreciation of the handwritten word? Even our ledger have intrinsically more meaning to the writer and by extension to the reader. I'm at a loss. |
| Season 2 / Episode 4: - Special Delivery Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: This is the Rolex M-Series. Milgauss green. Faraday Cage construction. 40mm polished stell bezil. Rumored to become the most collected Rolex ever. Marty Deeks: Mm-hmm. Does it shoot poisonous gas or anything cool? Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: ...You scratch it, you bought it! |
| Season 2 / Episode 4: - Special Delivery Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: And Ms. Blye, it's your wrist that hopefully makes the biggest impression on Mr. Anshiri. From ancient Babylonia. Displayed in Baghdad's National Museum until the US invasion. Marty Deeks: How did you -? Kensi Blye: Y... |
 | Season 2 / Episode 3: - Borderline Marty Deeks: For your information, I won the hygiene award in High School. Eric Beale: What kind of school rewards you for bathing? Marty Deeks: I don't know, man. A sparkly clean one. |
| Season 2 / Episode 3: - Borderline Marty Deeks: So you guys are close then? Kensi Blye: Very. Best friends. What about you and your dad? Marty Deeks: Yeah. Not so much. In fact, I'm pretty sure he hates me. Kensi Blye: Why would you say that? Marty Deeks: Because the last time he saw me, he said "Marty, I hate you." Kensi Blye: Well [stammering] even people who love us say things in anger they don't really mean. Marty Deeks: Yeah. Then he fired a shotgun at me. [Chuckles] Man, I hate Thanksgiving. Although that was 6 years ago, miserable bastard could be dead by now. |
| Season 2 / Episode 3: - Borderline Marty Deeks: Why? You think I look rugged? Kensi Blye: Yeah, like Malibu Ken. He's not anatomically correct either. |
 | Season 2 / Episode 2: - Black Widow Special Agent Kensi Blye: What do you know about alarms? Marty Deeks: Enough. I did two years LAPD Robbery Division. Special Agent Kensi Blye: I did an urban counter surveillance course at Quantico. Graduated at the top of my course. Marty Deeks: I guess there's book smarts and then there's street smart. Special Agent Kensi Blye: I'll run point. |
| Season 2 / Episode 2: - Black Widow Marty Deeks: If Emma's a former operative, then she's got situational awareness. Special Agent Kensi Blye: [Long pause] She knew what this was about from the very start. It's why she offered herself up. She's not a soft target. She just looks like one. That's why Vekar sent professionals to take her out. |
 | Season 2 / Episode 1: - Human Traffic Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: I'll see what I can do. But I have no jurisdiction over the LAPD. They could simply tell me to bugger off. Marty Deeks: Mmhmm. [Deeks chucks] Well I'd like to see them try. |
| Season 2 / Episode 1: - Human Traffic Radovan Lazik: [after his men have beat up Deeks] Look, we don't have to go through this. Marty Deeks: Okay, I'm just going to be on my way then. [Deeks tries to walk pas Lazik. One of Lazik's men shoves him back. Lazik punches him] |
| Season 2 / Episode 1: - Human Traffic LAPD Detective Frank Scarli: So tell me Deeks, how was she in bed? Marty Deeks: What did you say? Ask me again. [Deeks pulls out his weapons and aims it Scarli. Deeks speaks very distinctly] Ask me again. Special Agent G. Callen: Deeks. Look, he's not worth it. LAPD Detective Frank Scarli: Ask me again!... ASK IT AGAIN! |
 | Season 1 / Episode 20: - Fame Marty Deeks: You know how it is with undercover cops. I've pissed off more than my fair share of shields. Special Agent Sam Hanna: Then why'd they choose you as our liason? Marty Deeks: Hetty's request. |
| Season 1 / Episode 20: - Fame Special Agent G. Callen: They won't hand it over? Eric Beal: None to hand over. No cameras. Marty Deeks: That's why it's so popular with the rich and infamous. Nobody's watching. And you can forget about interviewing witnesses, cause even if something did happen,everybody's looking the other way. |
| Season 1 / Episode 20: - Fame Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: $50,000 limit. However, *if* more than $5000 is charged to this card, I will come for you with my letter opener. Is that clear Mr. Deeks? Marty Deeks: Got it. Wait, what? You want me to sign this? Cause it's Cal - it's Callen's card. Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: You're the guarantor. |
| Season 1 / Episode 20: - Fame Marty Deeks: [Quietly into a mic] I'm going to call you "Fern." Okay? Special Agent Kensi Blye: Don't you dare. Marty Deeks: [Loudly] Fern! Baby girl. Hoo. It's been a long time. |
| Season 1 / Episode 20: - Fame Special Agent G. Callen: I'm supposed to look like I can spend 50 and she's got you on the hook after 5? Marty Deeks: She threatened me with a letter opener! Special Agent G. Callen: I guess some people gotta learn the hard way. Marty Deeks: Why? What are you-? Special Agent G. Callen: [Loudly to a waitress] We'll take 2 more bottles. |
| Season 1 / Episode 20: - Fame Marty Deeks: Oh, come on. What? You got some sort of Superman double back flip where you can dodge bullets? I mean you can't tell me I shouldn't have taken that shot. Special Agent G. Callen: No. I'm glad you did. |
| Season 1 / Episode 20: - Fame Special Agent Sam Hanna: You one of those guys who needs external validation and coddling? Marty Deeks: Only from you Sam. [Sam chuckles] You want to coddle me? |
 | Season 1 / Episode 19: - Hand-to-Hand Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: I imagine you're still smarting from where the Chief of Police just ripped you a new one. Marty Deeks: How'd you know that? Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: Because I just experienced something similar from my Director. It seems we need to co-ordinate our operations a little better. My boss wants to assign a liason officer from LAPD. And your boss thinks it's a good idea. Marty Deeks: Yeah. You guys don't need a liason officer. Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: I agree. I told him we already have one. [Hetty gives Deeks an envelope] |
| Season 1 / Episode 19: - Hand-to-Hand Marty Deeks: [Looking over some papers] Who are you guys?... I mean... I mean how-how-how did you get all this information?... I mean the only thing missing here is... Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: [Hetty hands him a pen] No need to date it. |
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