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Marty Deeks NCIS: Los Angeles

Marty Deeks

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  Played by:
Eric Christian OlsenEric Christian Olsen
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Marty Deeks Quotes

02x07 - Anonymous Season 2 / Episode 7: - Anonymous

Kensi Blye: I hotwired a Cessna once.
Marty Deeks: Why? Seriously, why would you need to hotwire a airplane?
02x07 - Anonymous Season 2 / Episode 7: - Anonymous

Nurse Lisa: All of our meals are catered by the Beverly Hills Culinary Institute. They developed a very special liquid diet for us.
Marty Deeks: Kiki here loves a liquid diet. Don't you

02x07 - Anonymous Season 2 / Episode 7: - Anonymous

Sam Hanna: Any luck with Jillian?
Kensi Blye: Yeah. Yeah, I found her. He lost her.
Marty Deeks: Don't want to talk about it.
Kensi Blye: He left a trail of angry *violated* women in Malibu. Gloria Allred might be calling just so you know.
Marty Deeks: Okay, that was a gross exaggeration - peppered.
02x07 - Anonymous Season 2 / Episode 7: - Anonymous

Sam Hanna: [In Interrogation] Hey, I have kids too. I understand. You just want to protect them.
Marty Deeks: [Watching] Kids? Plural? You knew this?
'G' Callen: Yep.
Kensi Blye: So what's the story? [Callen walks away] What's the story? [Callen continues to ignore her] That's it?
02x07 - Anonymous Season 2 / Episode 7: - Anonymous

Marty Deeks: Callen? Come on, man. Chicks really dig the James Bond look.
'G' Callen: Well, I don't think a little male bonding would hurt anyone. Sam?
Sam Hanna: Hmph. Somebody's gotta keep you two fools out of trouble.
Marty Deeks: This is what I'm talking about. Because this is going to be awesome! I know the perfect spot too. We are going to make out like bandits! [Hetty appears] Ooo.
Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: Gentlemen. Going somewhere?
'G' Callen: Just going to grab a little celebratory cocktail on a job well done.
Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: Not in my tuxedos you're not.
Sam Hanna: We'll only be a few hours, Hetty. We won't get into any fights or anything.
Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: March!
Marty Deeks: Now I know how Cinderella felt with her evil stepmother.
Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: I heard that, Mr. Deeks.
02x04 - Special Delivery Season 2 / Episode 4: - Special Delivery

Sam Hanna: Hetty's Birthday. Every year it's the same thing. She doesn't want a gift. She doesn't want a party.
Marty Deeks: So every year you give her a gift and throw her a party.
Kensi Blye: Of course.
Marty Deeks: What if she really doesn't want one?
Sam Hanna: What if she says she doesn't and really does?
Marty Deeks: Her feelings could be hurt if you don't
Sam Hanna: Exactly.
Marty Deeks: On the other hand, she's going to be really angry if she actually doesn't and you do.
'G' Callen: Exactly.
02x04 - Special Delivery Season 2 / Episode 4: - Special Delivery

Kensi Blye: In this day and age, why would you write anything but your signature by hand?
Marty Deeks: Doesn't make sense.
Sam Hanna: It's ridiculous.
Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: What have I done to put together a group with no appreciation of the handwritten word? Even our ledger have intrinsically more meaning to the writer and by extension to the reader. I'm at a loss.
02x04 - Special Delivery Season 2 / Episode 4: - Special Delivery

Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: This is the Rolex M-Series. Milgauss green. Faraday Cage construction. 40mm polished stell bezil. Rumored to become the most collected Rolex ever.
Marty Deeks: Mm-hmm. Does it shoot poisonous gas or anything cool?
Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: ...You scratch it, you bought it!
02x04 - Special Delivery Season 2 / Episode 4: - Special Delivery

Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: And Ms. Blye, it's your wrist that hopefully makes the biggest impression on Mr. Anshiri. From ancient Babylonia. Displayed in Baghdad's National Museum until the US invasion.
Marty Deeks: How did you -?
Kensi Blye: Y...
02x03 - Borderline Season 2 / Episode 3: - Borderline

Marty Deeks: For your information, I won the hygiene award in High School.
Eric Beale: What kind of school rewards you for bathing?
Marty Deeks: I don't know, man. A sparkly clean one.
02x03 - Borderline Season 2 / Episode 3: - Borderline

Marty Deeks: So you guys are close then?
Kensi Blye: Very. Best friends. What about you and your dad?
Marty Deeks: Yeah. Not so much. In fact, I'm pretty sure he hates me.
Kensi Blye: Why would you say that?
Marty Deeks: Because the last time he saw me, he said "Marty, I hate you."
Kensi Blye: Well [stammering] even people who love us say things in anger they don't really mean.
Marty Deeks: Yeah. Then he fired a shotgun at me. [Chuckles] Man, I hate Thanksgiving. Although that was 6 years ago, miserable bastard could be dead by now.
02x03 - Borderline Season 2 / Episode 3: - Borderline

Marty Deeks: Why? You think I look rugged?
Kensi Blye: Yeah, like Malibu Ken. He's not anatomically correct either.
02x02 - Black Widow Season 2 / Episode 2: - Black Widow

Special Agent Kensi Blye: What do you know about alarms?
Marty Deeks: Enough. I did two years LAPD Robbery Division.
Special Agent Kensi Blye: I did an urban counter surveillance course at Quantico. Graduated at the top of my course.
Marty Deeks: I guess there's book smarts and then there's street smart.
Special Agent Kensi Blye: I'll run point.
02x02 - Black Widow Season 2 / Episode 2: - Black Widow

Marty Deeks: If Emma's a former operative, then she's got situational awareness.
Special Agent Kensi Blye: [Long pause] She knew what this was about from the very start. It's why she offered herself up. She's not a soft target. She just looks like one. That's why Vekar sent professionals to take her out.
02x01 - Human Traffic Season 2 / Episode 1: - Human Traffic

Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: I'll see what I can do. But I have no jurisdiction over the LAPD. They could simply tell me to bugger off.
Marty Deeks: Mmhmm. [Deeks chucks] Well I'd like to see them try.
02x01 - Human Traffic Season 2 / Episode 1: - Human Traffic

Radovan Lazik: [after his men have beat up Deeks] Look, we don't have to go through this.
Marty Deeks: Okay, I'm just going to be on my way then. [Deeks tries to walk pas Lazik. One of Lazik's men shoves him back. Lazik punches him]
02x01 - Human Traffic Season 2 / Episode 1: - Human Traffic

LAPD Detective Frank Scarli: So tell me Deeks, how was she in bed?
Marty Deeks: What did you say? Ask me again. [Deeks pulls out his weapons and aims it Scarli. Deeks speaks very distinctly] Ask me again.
Special Agent G. Callen: Deeks. Look, he's not worth it.
LAPD Detective Frank Scarli: Ask me again!... ASK IT AGAIN!
01x20 - Fame Season 1 / Episode 20: - Fame

Marty Deeks: You know how it is with undercover cops. I've pissed off more than my fair share of shields.
Special Agent Sam Hanna: Then why'd they choose you as our liason?
Marty Deeks: Hetty's request.
01x20 - Fame Season 1 / Episode 20: - Fame

Special Agent G. Callen: They won't hand it over?
Eric Beal: None to hand over. No cameras.
Marty Deeks: That's why it's so popular with the rich and infamous. Nobody's watching. And you can forget about interviewing witnesses, cause even if something did happen,everybody's looking the other way.
01x20 - Fame Season 1 / Episode 20: - Fame

Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: $50,000 limit. However, *if* more than $5000 is charged to this card, I will come for you with my letter opener. Is that clear Mr. Deeks?
Marty Deeks: Got it. Wait, what? You want me to sign this? Cause it's Cal - it's Callen's card.
Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: You're the guarantor.
01x20 - Fame Season 1 / Episode 20: - Fame

Marty Deeks: [Quietly into a mic] I'm going to call you "Fern." Okay?
Special Agent Kensi Blye: Don't you dare.
Marty Deeks: [Loudly] Fern! Baby girl. Hoo. It's been a long time.
01x20 - Fame Season 1 / Episode 20: - Fame

Special Agent G. Callen: I'm supposed to look like I can spend 50 and she's got you on the hook after 5?
Marty Deeks: She threatened me with a letter opener!
Special Agent G. Callen: I guess some people gotta learn the hard way.
Marty Deeks: Why? What are you-?
Special Agent G. Callen: [Loudly to a waitress] We'll take 2 more bottles.
01x20 - Fame Season 1 / Episode 20: - Fame

Marty Deeks: Oh, come on. What? You got some sort of Superman double back flip where you can dodge bullets? I mean you can't tell me I shouldn't have taken that shot.
Special Agent G. Callen: No. I'm glad you did.
01x20 - Fame Season 1 / Episode 20: - Fame

Special Agent Sam Hanna: You one of those guys who needs external validation and coddling?
Marty Deeks: Only from you Sam. [Sam chuckles] You want to coddle me?
01x19 - Hand-to-Hand Season 1 / Episode 19: - Hand-to-Hand

Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: I imagine you're still smarting from where the Chief of Police just ripped you a new one.
Marty Deeks: How'd you know that?
Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: Because I just experienced something similar from my Director. It seems we need to co-ordinate our operations a little better. My boss wants to assign a liason officer from LAPD. And your boss thinks it's a good idea.
Marty Deeks: Yeah. You guys don't need a liason officer.
Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: I agree. I told him we already have one. [Hetty gives Deeks an envelope]
01x19 - Hand-to-Hand Season 1 / Episode 19: - Hand-to-Hand

Marty Deeks: [Looking over some papers] Who are you guys?... I mean... I mean how-how-how did you get all this information?... I mean the only thing missing here is...
Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: [Hetty hands him a pen] No need to date it.

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