Season 1 Breakdown
Normal Episodes: 24
TV Specials: 0
TV Movies: 0
Normal Episodes: 24
TV Specials: 0
TV Movies: 0
Two and a Half Men Season 1 (2003-2004)
|1x01 Pilot |
Charlie's life gets a little more complicated when his brother, Alan, and son, Jake, move in with him after his wife confesses her lesbian lifestyle and throws him out of the house. ...
|Sep. 22, 2003|
|1x02 Big Flappy Bastards |
Charlie finds it hard to enforce the rules Alan has set out for his son. After Jake lures a flock of sea gulls into his room, Charlie gets very upset. Jake tries to get Charlie to forgive ...
|Sep. 29, 2003|
|1x03 Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell |
After a trip to Disneyland, Jake gets sick and wants to go to Judith's house so she can take care of him. Alan gets saddened over this because he is losing his wife and son. Charlie ...
|Oct. 06, 2003|
|1x04 If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song I'm Going to Take a Nap |
Berta, the housekeeper, quits after experiencing Alan's demanding ways. Alan decides he could be the housekeeper, but does not work. Alan decides to hunt her down and bring her back, ...
|Oct. 13, 2003|
|1x05 The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a Hump |
After a trip to Las Vegas Charlie decides to go to Jake's soccer game like he promised. There, he meets a soccer mom and they hit it off. Alan goes to a meeting with some soccer moms ...
|Oct. 20, 2003|
|1x06 Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys? |
Charlie gets in over his head after he tells Jake to avoid certain calls he doesn't want which creates a dinner plan for Charlie and his mother. When Charlie meets her new boyfriend's ...
|Oct. 27, 2003|
|1x07 If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake |
For a class assignment, Jake draws the tattooed buttocks of one of Charlie's surfer friends, which in turn, worries his mother. Alan then starts to get worried about Judith when she ...
|Nov. 03, 2003|
|1x08 Twenty-Five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful |
Alan tricks Charlie in leading Jake and his classmates in the music show along with Alan and Judith.
|Nov. 10, 2003|
|1x09 Phase One, Complete |
Jake befriends one of Charlie's one-night stands, which Charlie does not like as it furthers the relationship that Charlie does not want to continue.
|Nov. 17, 2003|
|1x10 Merry Thanksgiving |
To try and prove to his girlfriend that he is a family man, Charlie invites Lisa over for Thanksgiving dinner at his house.
|Nov. 24, 2003|
|1x11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor |
After bumping into Judith and her new boyfriend at the movies, Alan decides to change his look to try and get back into the dating scene, and to impress his son.
|Dec. 15, 2003|
|1x12 Camel Filters + Pheromones |
Berta becomes forced to bring her granddaughter Prudence to work for a day. The boys like this because they get very preoccupied with her.
|Jan. 05, 2004|
|1x13 Sara Like Puny Alan |
Charlie gets a double date with a hot neighbor and her sister and needs to take Alan along. The trouble is, Alan got sick from Jake so Charlie takes him to a steam room to heal him. ...
|Jan. 12, 2004|
|1x14 I Can't Afford Hyenas |
Charlie's accountant Stan tries to explain Charlie's financial problems to him.
|Feb. 02, 2004|
|1x15 Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick (1) |
Charlie falls for a seemingly crazy woman named Franky against Alan's constant arguments about the woman.
|Feb. 09, 2004|
|1x16 That Was Saliva, Alan (2) |
Frankie tells Charlie and Alan why both her and her daughter are on the run, and Frankie's daughter gets a crush on Jake.
|Feb. 16, 2004|
|1x17 Ate The Hamburgers, Wearing The Hats |
Charlie gets offended after Alan chooses harebrained cousins as Jake's legal guardians in the event of his death.
|Feb. 23, 2004|
|1x18 An Old Flame With a New Wick |
Charlie is stunned to find out that one of his ex-girlfriends had a sex change operation.
|Mar. 01, 2004|
|1x19 I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You |
At Jake's birthday party Judith's sister Liz hits on Alan while Evelyn prefers to drink alcohol than eat cake.
|Mar. 22, 2004|
|1x20 Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark |
When Jake starts playing guitar non-stop, Judith thinks it is because he is having a hard time dealing with the divorce. She suggests that he sees a therapist, which Alan does not agree ...
|Apr. 19, 2004|
|1x21 No Sniffing, No Wowing |
Charlie puts Alan's divorce settlement into jeopardy when he sleeps with his attorney, Laura.
|May. 03, 2004|
|1x22 My Doctor has a Cow Puppet |
Charlie tries to cure Alan of his recent sleepwalking adventures; Jake goes and sees a therapist.
|May. 10, 2004|
|1x23 Just Like Buffalo |
Charlie tries to sweet talk Judith's support-group with other divorcees into letting Jake still spend weekends at his place.
|May. 17, 2004|
|1x24 Can You Feel My Finger? |
Charlie heads to the doctor for a vasectomy after a recent pregnancy scare.
|May. 24, 2004|
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Season 1 Characters
Season 1 Videos[none added]
Season 1 Quotes
|Season 1 / Episode 17: - Ate The Hamburgers, Wearing The Hats|
Alan: Charlie, let me tell you something; you-you-you can't keep Jake from ever getting hurt, he's a boy. It's... getting hurt is like his job. Last summer he - he actually fractured his ass doing a cannonball into the bathtub. All I care about is that has somebody who loves him, and who'll step up when it really counts, and that's what you did today.
|Season 1 / Episode 18: - An Old Flame With a New Wick|
Charlie: [shakes Bill/Jill's hand; gets up to leave] Nice to see you again. Good luck with the penis.
Season 1 Trivia
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