 | 1x01 Pilot (Air Date: Sep. 22, 2003)
Charlie's life gets a little more complicated when his brother, Alan, and son, Jake, move in with him after his wife confesses her lesbian lifestyle and throws him out of the house. Alan ... | | 1x02 Big Flappy Bastards (Air Date: Sep. 29, 2003)
Charlie finds it hard to enforce the rules Alan has set out for his son. After Jake lures a flock of sea gulls into his room, Charlie gets very upset. Jake tries to get Charlie to forgive ... | | 1x03 Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell (Air Date: Oct. 06, 2003)
After a trip to Disneyland, Jake gets sick and wants to go to Judith's house so she can take care of him. Alan gets saddened over this because he is losing his wife and son. Charlie takes ... | | 1x04 If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song I'm Going to Take a Nap (Air Date: Oct. 13, 2003)
Berta, the housekeeper, quits after experiencing Alan's demanding ways. Alan decides he could be the housekeeper, but does not work. Alan decides to hunt her down and bring her back, leaving ... | | 1x05 The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a Hump (Air Date: Oct. 20, 2003)
After a trip to Las Vegas Charlie decides to go to Jake's soccer game like he promised. There, he meets a soccer mom and they hit it off. Alan goes to a meeting with some soccer moms about ... | | 1x06 Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys? (Air Date: Oct. 27, 2003)
Charlie gets in over his head after he tells Jake to avoid certain calls he doesn't want which creates a dinner plan for Charlie and his mother. When Charlie meets her new boyfriend's daughter, ... | | 1x07 If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake (Air Date: Nov. 03, 2003)
For a class assignment, Jake draws the tattooed buttocks of one of Charlie's surfer friends, which in turn, worries his mother. Alan then starts to get worried about Judith when she becomes ... | | 1x08 Twenty-Five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful (Air Date: Nov. 10, 2003)
Alan tricks Charlie in leading Jake and his classmates in the music show along with Alan and Judith. | | 1x09 Phase One, Complete (Air Date: Nov. 17, 2003)
Jake befriends one of Charlie's one-night stands, which Charlie does not like as it furthers the relationship that Charlie does not want to continue. | | 1x10 Merry Thanksgiving (Air Date: Nov. 24, 2003)
To try and prove to his girlfriend that he is a family man, Charlie invites Lisa over for Thanksgiving dinner at his house. | | 1x11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor (Air Date: Dec. 15, 2003)
After bumping into Judith and her new boyfriend at the movies, Alan decides to change his look to try and get back into the dating scene, and to impress his son. | | 1x12 Camel Filters + Pheromones (Air Date: Jan. 05, 2004)
Berta becomes forced to bring her granddaughter Prudence to work for a day. The boys like this because they get very preoccupied with her. | | 1x13 Sara Like Puny Alan (Air Date: Jan. 12, 2004)
Charlie gets a double date with a hot neighbor and her sister and needs to take Alan along. The trouble is, Alan got sick from Jake so Charlie takes him to a steam room to heal him. It works ... | | 1x14 I Can't Afford Hyenas (Air Date: Feb. 02, 2004)
Charlie's accountant Stan tries to explain Charlie's financial problems to him. | | 1x15 Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick (1) (Air Date: Feb. 09, 2004)
Charlie falls for a seemingly crazy woman named Franky against Alan's constant arguments about the woman. | | 1x16 That Was Saliva, Alan (2) (Air Date: Feb. 16, 2004)
Frankie tells Charlie and Alan why both her and her daughter are on the run, and Frankie's daughter gets a crush on Jake. | | 1x17 Ate The Hamburgers, Wearing The Hats (Air Date: Feb. 23, 2004)
Charlie gets offended after Alan chooses harebrained cousins as Jake's legal guardians in the event of his death. | | 1x18 An Old Flame With a New Wick (Air Date: Mar. 01, 2004)
Charlie is stunned to find out that one of his ex-girlfriends had a sex change operation. | | 1x19 I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You (Air Date: Mar. 22, 2004)
At Jake's birthday party Judith's sister Liz hits on Alan while Evelyn prefers to drink alcohol than eat cake. | | 1x20 Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark (Air Date: Apr. 19, 2004)
When Jake starts playing guitar non-stop, Judith thinks it is because he is having a hard time dealing with the divorce. She suggests that he sees a therapist, which Alan does not agree ... | | 1x21 No Sniffing, No Wowing (Air Date: May. 03, 2004)
Charlie puts Alan's divorce settlement into jeopardy when he sleeps with his attorney, Laura. | | 1x22 My Doctor has a Cow Puppet (Air Date: May. 10, 2004)
Charlie tries to cure Alan of his recent sleepwalking adventures; Jake goes and sees a therapist. | | 1x23 Just Like Buffalo (Air Date: May. 17, 2004)
Charlie tries to sweet talk Judith's support-group with other divorcees into letting Jake still spend weekends at his place. | | 1x24 Can You Feel My Finger? (Air Date: May. 24, 2004)
Charlie heads to the doctor for a vasectomy after a recent pregnancy scare. |
 | 2x01 Back Off Mary Poppins (Air Date: Sep. 20, 2004)
Alan finds out that Charlie is part of an exclusive men's group and begs his brother to be a part of it. The group contains Sean Penn, Elvis Costello, Harry Dean Stanton, and Bobby Coop ... |  | 2x02 Enjoy Those Garlic Balls (Air Date: Sep. 27, 2004)
Alan gets upset when he finds out Judith is dating Jake's pediatrician. Charlie points out, however, if she does marry him that Alan's alimony payments will end. |  | 2x03 A Bag Full of Jawea (Air Date: Oct. 04, 2004)
Jake is on the verge of getting suspended from school when he gives his teacher Miss Pyle the finger. Charlie tries to save Jake from the suspension by dating her, but fails several tim ... |  | 2x04 Go Get Mommy's Bra (Air Date: Oct. 11, 2004)
Jake loves his mother's new boyfriend, Dr. Melnick, and won't stop talking about him, which bugs Alan. Evelyn borrows Charlie's car to impress a Saudi prince, so she can sell him real estate. ... |  | 2x05 Bad News from the Clinic (Air Date: Oct. 18, 2004)
Charlie meets somebody who can play hard to get better than he does, which makes him want her even more. |  | 2x06 The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance (Air Date: Oct. 25, 2004)
Alan denies ever shoplifting a toy as a child and fears that he he might have a dark side to him. Charlie admits that he planted it so he wouldn't get in trouble from their mom. |  | 2x07 A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana (Air Date: Nov. 08, 2004)
Charlie and Alan hire Berta's sister to help set up and cater a party that their mother had talked them into throwing her. |  | 2x08 Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers (Air Date: Nov. 15, 2004)
Alan meets the girl of his dreams in Nancy, who fulfills all of his desires which forces Charlie to take care of Jake. Trouble stirs a few days later when Alan decides he wants to marry ... |  | 2x09 Yes, Monsignor (Air Date: Nov. 22, 2004)
Charlie leaves a date he can't stand and ends up at a coffee shop where he runs into his ex-girlfriend, Lisa. She has broken up with her husband and left with a child. He tries to convince ... |  | 2x10 The Salmon Under My Sweater (Air Date: Nov. 29, 2004)
Jake helps Charlie come up with the theme song for a children's television show which is based on one of Jake's favorite comic books. Alan finds out how smart and fun Rose is when he starts ... |  | 2x11 Last Chance to See Those Tattoos (Air Date: Dec. 13, 2004)
Charlie finds out about a website created by him that shows how evil he is to women. Charlie goes and tries to find out who made the site by apologizing to all of them. He finds it hard ... |  | 2x12 A Lungful of Alan (Air Date: Jan. 03, 2005)
Alan gets jealous when an old classmate who grew up to be a beautiful woman seems more interested in dating Charlie then himself. |  | 2x13 Zejdz z Moich Wlosów a.k.a. Get Off My Hair (Air Date: Jan. 17, 2005)
Judith's house (actually Alan's of course) gets damaged during an earthquake and needs a place to stay. Alan offers Charlie's house without his permission. Charlie agrees, although not happy ... |  | 2x14 Those Big Pink Things with Coconut (Air Date: Jan. 31, 2005)
After insulting the way Alan raises Jake, Alan and Charlie throw Evelyn out of the house. After ignoring her numerous phone calls, she feigns an emergency at the hospital which Aland and ... |  | 2x15 Smell the Umbrella Stand (Air Date: Feb. 07, 2005)
Alan gets worried about a minor medical procedure he is going to face, so Charlie decides to take him to Vegas to get his mind off it. |  | 2x16 Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth? (Air Date: Feb. 14, 2005)
Alan and Charlie have to take care of Jake the whole week while Judith takes a vacation, which proves harder then they imagined. |  | 2x17 Woo-Hoo, A Hernia-Exam! (Air Date: Feb. 21, 2005)
Alan takes Charlie to the hospital where he hits on a doctor he didn't know he had past history with. Berta is fed up with the way Jake uses the bathroom so she makes him clean it until ... |  | 2x18 It Was Mame, Mom (Air Date: Mar. 07, 2005)
Charlie is invited to a party hosted by a gay ad-executive named Eric and he takes Alan pretending they are life partners. While there, Charlie meets Eric's ex-wife Pamela, and tries to ... |  | 2x19 A Low, Gutteral Tongue-Flapping Noise (Air Date: Mar. 21, 2005)
After Charlie takes Alan to the eye doctor they end up at a cafe where they both bump into Charlie's ex-girlfriend, Sherri. Alan deicdes to ask her out after showing interest, but he can't ... |  | 2x20 I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey (Air Date: Apr. 18, 2005)
When Charlie and Alan take their personal frustrations out on each other, Rose buts in the middle to try and help them out. |  | 2x21 A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On (Air Date: May. 02, 2005)
Evelyn reads that her second husband Harry had died. They all attend the funeral. Jake is excited to see a "dead guy" while Charlie is excited about the opportunity of a newly single widow, ... |  | 2x22 That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother (Air Date: May. 09, 2005)
Evelyn buys Alan a new sports car if he goes on a double date with her, her new boyfriend and his daughter. Alan finds out that his mother and her boyfriend can't make it, leaving the two ... |  | 2x23 Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab (Air Date: May. 16, 2005)
After learning that Jake spent his whole Spring Break at his other grandparents, Evelyn pressures Alan to have Jack spend more time with her. Alan is worried she will screw him up, like ... |  | 2x24 Does This Smell Funny to You? (Air Date: May. 23, 2005)
Jake must read what he did over the weekend as an essay to the class. The weekend consists of Charlie unknowingly sleeping with an elderly man's trophy wife over the weekend. |
 | 3x01 Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts (Air Date: Sep. 19, 2005)
After Alan falls off a ladder, Charlie ends up watching over him and Jake, which proves to be a harder task than he thought. |  | 3x02 Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover (Air Date: Sep. 26, 2005)
Jake gets suspended from school after he draws a picture of a girl in his class with huge breasts. Charlie is asked to watch over Alan's chiropractic office after pulling an all-nighter, ... |  | 3x03 Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark (Air Date: Oct. 03, 2005)
Charlie finds out that Alan has been seeing his ex-wife, which is the reason he hasn't been dating. Alan tells Charlie not to tell Jake because he doesn't want him to get his hopes up. Judith ... |  | 3x04 Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs (Air Date: Oct. 10, 2005)
Berta moves in with Charlie which causes Alan and Jake to move out when she starts butting in to things. |  | 3x05 We Called It Mr. Pinky (Air Date: Oct. 17, 2005)
Charlie figures out his commitment issues are because of his unresolved issues with his mother. Jake asks Charlie advice about a girl he likes at school. |  | 3x06 Hi, Mr. Horned One (Air Date: Oct. 24, 2005)
Alan dislikes Isabella, Charlie's latest flame. Their rocky start spirals into suspicion of satanic rituals before an unexpeced turn of events scare Isabella off. |  | 3x07 Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop (Air Date: Nov. 07, 2005)
Charlie wakes up with Rose the morning after her birthday party. Her father (guest star and father of Charlie Sheen, Martin Sheen) comes to find out what Charlie plans for their future. ... | | 3x08 That Voodoo That I Do Do (Air Date: Nov. 14, 2005)
Charlie cons Jake into taking ballet lessons in order to get close to the teacher.After his romantic overtures toward an attractive ballet teacher, Mia, are rejected, Charlie will stop at ... | | 3x09 Madame and Her Special Friend (Air Date: Nov. 21, 2005)
Alan strikes up a friendship with Charlie's wealthy and amorous neighbor, Norma, only to find himself on the defensive as she puts on a full-court press to win his affections. Meanwhile, ... |  | 3x10 Something Salted and Twisted (Air Date: Nov. 28, 2005)
Charlie helps Alan cope with his lifelong obsession to get women's approval.Alan organizes a family dinner to celebrate the publication of a newspaper article that calls him a "good doctor, ... |  | 3x11 Santa's Village of the Damned (Air Date: Dec. 19, 2005)
Just in time for Christmas, Alan falls for Sandy, the teacher of his cooking class, and before long, she moves into the house, fattens the guys up with gourmet meals, drives Berta crazy ... |  | 3x12 That Special Tug (Air Date: Jan. 09, 2006)
Charlie and Alan drop Jake off at a friend's house and head out for some sibling bonding at the movies, but their night is ruined when Alan freaks out after convincing himself that Jake ... | | 3x13 Humiliation is a Visual Medium (Air Date: Jan. 23, 2006)
No one believes Charlie when he says that his relationship with Mia is getting serious, and everyone really thinks he's lost it when he confesses that they have been dating for more than ... | | 3x14 Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded (Air Date: Feb. 06, 2006)
Charlie plans a romantic date with Mia in the hopes of finally consummating their relationship, but his path to the promised land is blocked when she finds out that he hasn't told his former ... | | 3x15 My Tongue is Meat (Air Date: Feb. 27, 2006)
Charlie can't keep pace with the healthy lifestyle that Mia has introduced to their relationship, so he sneaks cigars and beers in the garage and enlists Rose to deliver burgers to him on ... | | 3x16 Ergo, The Booty Call (Air Date: Mar. 06, 2006)
Alan is having second thoughts about whether he should be dating a woman half his age and is mortified at the idea of introducing Kandi to Evelyn at Jake's birthday party. Meanwhile, Rose ... | | 3x17 The Unfortunate Little Schnauser (Air Date: Mar. 13, 2006)
Charlie boycotts an advertising awards banquet, having lost several years in a row to his cocky competitor, Archie. After devising a ploy to get him to attend, Alan, Evelyn and Jake accompany ... | | 3x18 The Spit-Covered Cobbler (Air Date: Mar. 20, 2006)
When Kandi's old car breaks down, Alan ends up leasing her a new one. Charlie warns him to break things off with her, but when Alan spends his last dime on Kandi's root canal and can't pay ... | | 3x19 Golly Moses, She's A Muffin (Air Date: Apr. 10, 2006)
Charlie's not happy when he learns that Kandi has been living in sin with Alan in his house -- particularly since he himself has been having a dry spell with women. Things begin to look ... | | 3x20 Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro (Air Date: Apr. 24, 2006)
Alan is depressed that his hot young girlfriend, Kandi, has left him to go stay with his bitter ex-wife, Judith, who has brainwashed her against him. At the advice of Mandi, Kandi's mother, ... | | 3x21 And the Plot Moistens (Air Date: May. 01, 2006)
Jake's teacher, Francine, calls in Alan and Judith to discuss Jake's lack of interest in school. Desperate to communicate with someone intelligent while continuing to see his air-headed ... | | 3x22 Just Once With Aunt Sophie (Air Date: May. 08, 2006)
When a cute girl from Jake's school invites him to a party, Charlie butts in on Alan's milestone moment with his son by offering his own words of wisdom on women. While Alan feels somewhat ... | | 3x23 Arguments for the Quickie (Air Date: May. 15, 2006)
When Charlie finds out that Mia is in town with her dance troupe and has invited him to her performance, he opts not to go and tries to convince Alan (and himself) that he's over her. After ... | | 3x24 That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite (Air Date: May. 22, 2006)
Wedding bells loom as Charlie and Mia make wedding arrangements. But when their families meet, things immediately begin to fall apart. Rose takes the news of the engagement hard, and makes ... |
 | 4x01 Working for Caligula (Air Date: Sep. 18, 2006)
Alan wins $500,000 but then finds out Kandi does not love him. A month later Alan is back living with Charlie, who has gone back to the bachelor life. Now, Alan feels he is an all time failure, ... |  | 4x02 Who's Vod Kanockers (Air Date: Sep. 25, 2006)
Alan feels guilty when he learns that Charlie and Mia didn't tie the knot because she had wanted him and Jake to move out. Meanwhile, Charlie and his rock star neighbor don't get along. ... |  | 4x03 The Sea is a Harsh Mistress (Air Date: Oct. 02, 2006)
Charlie attempts to surf in order to impress a beautiful girl -- with disastrous results. He later tells Alan that when his life was hanging in the balance, their deceased father came to ... |
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