5x01 Large Birds, Spiders and Mom - Two and a Half Men Episode Guide

Two and a Half Men

- Episode 05x01

Episode: 05x01
Title: Large Birds, Spiders and Mom
Type: Regular Episode
Production Code: 501
First Aired: Sep. 24, 2007

Season 5 » Episode #01 - Large Birds, Spiders and Mom

Two and a Half Men - 05x01 Large Birds, Spiders and Mom

Summary: Charlie and Alan try to get Jake ready for his first day of junior high, but end up doing more harm than good.

Who appeared in this episode?

Guest Stars:

Dr. Prajneep	played by Kris Iyer
Mike	played by Brian Turk
Julie	played by Monica Young

Episode Quotes

Season 5 / Episode 1: - Large Birds, Spiders and Mom

Alan Harper: Things will go great for you. You just have to remember a few things.
Jake Harper: Like what?
Alan Harper: Well, always keep your money in your shoe, but have some spare change in your pocket.
Jake Harper: How come?
Alan Harper: Decoy money. They won't stop hitting you 'til they get something.
Jake Harper: Who are they?
Alan Harper: The big kids, holding you by your ankles and plunging your head in the toilet.
Jake Harper: [Worried look on face] Plunging my head in the toilet?
Charlie Harper: D-don't, don't, don't, don't freak the kid out, Alan. It's not so much plunging as... dipping.

Season 5 / Episode 1: - Large Birds, Spiders and Mom

Charlie Harper: [Showing his genital rash] What do you think?
Dr. Prajneep: Well, it looks like an allergic reaction. Have you been applying anything to your genital region?
Charlie Harper: Just the usual - waitresses and actresses.

[More Quotes]