Two and a Half Men

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First Aired: Sep. 24, 2007 on CBS

Rate Episode: 4/5 (3 votes)

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Season 5 » Episode #01 - Large Birds, Spiders and Mom

Two and a Half Men - 05x01 Large Birds, Spiders and Mom

Summary: Charlie and Alan try to get Jake ready for his first day of junior high, but end up doing more harm than good.

Who appeared in this episode?

Guest Stars:

Dr. Prajneep	played by Kris Iyer
Mike	played by Brian Turk
Julie	played by Monica Young

Episode Quotes

Berta: Make friends with the janitor. They usually have their own bathroom.
Jake Harper: OK.
Berta: Just never drink out of his Thermos.
Jake Harper: All right.
Berta: And don't believe him if he tells you he loves you. Damn it, I miss that one-eyed son-of-a-bitch!

Alan Harper: Things will go great for you. You just have to remember a few things.
Jake Harper: Like what?
Alan Harper: Well, always keep your money in your shoe, but have some spare change in your pocket.
Jake Harper: How come?
Alan Harper: Decoy money. They won't stop hitting you 'til they get something.
Jake Harper: Who are they?
Alan Harper: The big kids, holding you by your ankles and plunging your head in the toilet.
Jake Harper: [Worried look on face] Plunging my head in the toilet?
Charlie Harper: D-don't, don't, don't, don't freak the kid out, Alan. It's not so much plunging as... dipping.

Charlie Harper: [Showing his genital rash] What do you think?
Dr. Prajneep: Well, it looks like an allergic reaction. Have you been applying anything to your genital region?
Charlie Harper: Just the usual - waitresses and actresses.

[More Quotes]

Mistakes/Goofs

[none added]

Trivia

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