Rose

Two and a Half Men

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Played by:

Melanie Lynskey
At 16 years old, Melanie Lynskey wowed audiences with her explosive portrayal of a teenage murderess ...

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Rose Quotes

	Season 6 / Episode 21: - Above Exalted Cyclops Rose: [upset] You didn't call! Alan Harper: What's that? Rose: You said you'd call me and you didn't call! Jake Harper: Hi, Rose. Rose: [suddenly cheerful] Hey, Jake.
	Season 5 / Episode 4: - City of Great Racks Rose: You can expect me to go back to what we had without some kind of committment. Charlie Harper: Committment? Rose: We going to get married right? Charlie Harper: Married? Rose: Yeah, sell the house in Malibu, and move to a kid friend neighborhood in England. Charlie Harper: Kid? Rose: KIDS? We ARE going to have children aren't we?
	Season 4 / Episode 15: - My Damn Stalker Leanne: What can I get you? Rose: Grain alcohol, please. Leanne: We don't have grain alcohol. Rose: Okay, uh, just a Sprite.
	Season 4 / Episode 11: - Walnuts and Demerol Rose: Charlie! Charlie Harper: Rose? Rose: How could you have a party and not invite me? Charlie Harper: It's not a party. Rose: Then what do you call it? Charlie Harper: The beginning of a news story that ends with "... And then he turned the gun on himself."
	Season 4 / Episode 9: - Corey's Been Dead for an Hour Jake Harper: [startled when Rose sneaks up on him] Are you crazy? Rose: [nonchalantly] There are several different schools of thought on that.
	Season 4 / Episode 2: - Who's Vod Kanockers Rose: Boy, you look like hell. Charlie Harper: That's strange. I feel like crap.
	Season 4 / Episode 1: - Working for Caligula Alan Harper: Rose. Rose: Yes, sweetie? Alan Harper: You're a stalker. Rose: I prefer to be called "boundary challenged" Alan Harper: Just go away. Rose: Go away? Rose: Alan, I'm a stalker.
	Season 4 / Episode 1: - Working for Caligula Charlie Harper: All right, I was hoping I wouldn't have to do this but desperate times call for desperate measures [goes to the phone] Berta: What are you going to do? Charlie Harper: Something I hoped I'd never have to do. Rose: You don't mean... Charlie Harper: Afraid so... Hello? Mom.
	Season 3 / Episode 24: - That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite Rose: Hello Alan. Alan Harper: Rose. [Rose exits via the front door. Charlie and Alan stare at the door, bewildered] Charlie Harper: She used the front door? Alan Harper: Uh huh. Charlie Harper: She never uses the front door. Alan Harper: Uhn uh. [turns to Charlie] What happened out there? Charlie Harper: Nothing. I just told her Mia and I were getting married, and I could see her medication STOP working.
	Season 3 / Episode 24: - That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite Charlie Harper: [after he's told Rose he's marrying Mia] I was afraid this would come as a big shock. Rose: Afraid? You have nothing to fear Charlie, I'm your friend. [smiles at Charlie]
	Season 3 / Episode 5: - We Called It Mr. Pinky Rose: When your psyche gets iffy, you can't get a stiffy.
	Season 3 / Episode 5: - We Called It Mr. Pinky Rose: Mr. Pee-pee? Charlie: Yeah it what my mother used to... never mind.
	Season 2 / Episode 20: - I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey Rose: [Rose suggests therapy for Alan and Charlie] Well, I could refer you to the woman I talk to, but she doesn't exist.
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - Bad News from the Clinic Rose: Let's review. She's gorgeous, but she's also self-centered. She's promiscuous, she's commitment phobic... Charlie Harper: Oh my God! I'm dating myself... No wonder the sex is so good.
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - Bad News from the Clinic Rose: I've been riddled with glauckenstucken ever since. Charlie: Glaucken what? Rose: Glauckenstucken! It means feeling guilty for having felt schadenfreud. Charlie: They have a word for that? Rose: Well, not yet, but I'm hoping glauckenstucken catches on!
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Back Off Mary Poppins Rose: Believe me, Alan. I understand how hurtful it is to be rejected by Charlie. And I've found that the only way to get through it, is to just love him more. That, and every so often, sneak into his bedroom, and try on his underwear.
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Back Off Mary Poppins Charlie Harper: Alright, are you gonna come back inside or do I have to drag you in by your big flappy monkey ears ? Rose: Listen to him, Alan, he's begging. Alan Harper: No thank you, Charlie. I am quite happy chatting out here with Rose. Charlie Harper: Okay. I tried to be the loving brother. You sulky little weasel. Rose: That really wasn't necessary, Alan. Alan Harper: Yes it was. You're my friend and friends don't just abandon friends because something better comes along. Rose: Oh. Well, then this might sting a bit. I have something else to do and I'm pretty sure it's better.
	Season 1 / Episode 23: - Just Like Buffalo Charlie Harper: There's no pancakes, Rose. Alan Harper: Because Jake's not here. Berta: Cause Charlie's an idiot. Rose: Oh, why? I mean why is Jake not here? Not why is Charlie an idiot. Alan Harper: Because we know that.
	Season 1 / Episode 22: - My Doctor has a Cow Puppet Rose: [Rose has been lying next to Charlie in bed for a while without him knowing] I just thought you'd like to know that your brother's sleepwalking again. Charlie Harper: And you had to get into bed with me to tell me that?
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song I'm Going to Take a Nap Charlie: You still have grease in your hair. Didn't you wash it? Jake: You didn't say to wash my hair. Charlie: Wash your hair! Rose: You didn't tell him to rinse. Charlie: Good, that's good. Thank you. Jake! Rinse!
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song I'm Going to Take a Nap Rose: So you like this dress better? Charlie: Hang on, Rose. The kid's running around the deck in his underwear. Rose: Well sure. But when I do it, you just ignore me.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song I'm Going to Take a Nap Rose: I'm so worried he's not going to like me. Charlie: He's going to love you, Rose. Just go out, have a great time, and don't come on too strong. Rose: Me, too strong? What do you mean? Charlie: Okay, well, speaking from my own experience, there's nothing wrong with asking a guy for a blood test, but to actually try to take the blood yourself is a little strong. Rose: I see.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song I'm Going to Take a Nap Rose: I wish Randy could see what you see. Charlie: Forget about him. Come on, I'm going to take you to dinner. Rose: Really? Charlie: [starts going to door] Yeah, sure, why not? Charlie: Hey, uh, I thought you said his name was Andy. Rose: What did I say? Charlie: You said Randy. Rose: No, I didn't. Andy's a real guy. I didn't make him up.

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