Alan Harper

Two and a Half Men

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Played by:

Jon Cryer

Who is Alan Harper?

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Episode Screenshots

Season 4, Episode 04	Season 2, Episode 21
Season 4, Episode 10	Season 2, Episode 14

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Alan Harper Quotes

Season 4 / Episode 17: - I Merely Slept with a Commie

Alan Harper: You'll go to Mom's funeral, won't you?
Charlie Harper: Of course! As the eldest son, it's my obligation to pound in the stake.
Alan Harper: Typical! Nothing for Alan to do.
Charlie Harper: [pretending to be irritated] Okaaay. You can cut off her head, and hold it up for the villagers.
Alan Harper: Thank you!

Season 4 / Episode 22: - Mr. McGlue's Feedbag

Alan Harper: Since when do you make chili?
Charlie Harper: [drunk] There's a lot you don't know about me, Alan. I am a man of many layers. Strata, if you will.
Alan Harper: I see.
Charlie Harper: A thin crust, magma and a chewy nougat center.
Alan Harper: Great. Uh... anyway, tomorrow I have to go the DMV to get my license renewed.
Charlie Harper: Ah, cars. Where would we be without cars? And how would we get there? [drops an onion] Run, run, you're free!

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