Clinton: [Hope and Faith fight with each other] What's going on here?
Curtis: Oh, they're fighting over me.
Clinton: Oh. Somebody should break it up.
Curtis: No, no. This is the way women decide things...
Newbie: After the meteor hit, the disease spread and all pet monkeys died. Without the monkeys around, people became distraught, especially the kids. So the cats were brought in to replace the monkeys, but people started blaming them, resenting the cats for what had happened to the monkeys. We beat the cats, we kicked the cats, we generally just treated them like shit. We forced them to work as our slaves. First at jobs left vacant by the monkeys: helping organ grinders...and stuff. And then any shit job that we could find: courrier, waiter, Canadian actor. Well, it wasn't long before they turned against us...ironic, isn't it?"
Rex Reilly: ...A family that sleeps together, keeps together. Is that your motto, Mother?
Newbie: Is there blood in your cat's urine?
Nathan: Pardon me?
Newbie: Is there blood in your cat's urine? 'Cuz this cat food has ash magnesium in it, which causes crystals to form in the bladder, which can scrape against the urethra. It's worse for the boys.
Nathan: Well, why do you sell it, if it tortures the cats?
Newbie: Hate to break it to you man. Not exactly a health food store - FOR CATS.
Hope: Curtis, are you trying to scare me away?
Curtis: Uh, no. I was actually trying to flirt with you. It's pretty bad, eh?
Nathan: [to a visibly annoyed Curtis] Frooty O's are NOT cat food.
Curtis: She likes them.
Nathan: She does not like them. The bowl is full. And even if she did - EVEN if she loved them, even if she ate them everyday, she would die within a week, because this CRAP has absolutely no nutritional value whatsoever.
Curtis: Yeah, but they sure taste good.
Nathan: They're not life-sustaining Curtis! Technically they're not even food!
Curtis: [raising his voice] Well what's was I suppose to do? I didn't want to waste them on her in the first place, but there was no food!
Nathan: There was no food.
Curtis: No, there was no cat food, okay? So don't blame this on me.
Nathan: Do we have to do this?
Curtis: [sighs meekly] Please. I'm trying to watch the show?
Nathan: Curtis. The WHEEL.
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