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Sam Merlotte Quotes
![]() | Season 3 / Episode 7: - Hitting the Ground Sam Merlotte: [to Melinda] I thought Tara had a shitty mother but you take the cake! |
![]() | Season 3 / Episode 7: - Hitting the Ground Sam Merlotte: [to Melinda and Joe Lee] I thought the Merlottes were bad parents but you Mickens make them look like the Dalai Lama! |
![]() | Season 3 / Episode 4: - 9 Crimes Sam Merlotte: [knocking on the van door] You're sleepin' in my parking lot? Melinda Mickens: We hadn't left yet because uh... well um, we got no where to go. We're a little behind in the rent. Plus our landlord got foreclosed on. Sam Merlotte: Oh, so that's why you came here? To eat me food and steal from me! Tommy tried to break into my safe. Melinda Mickens: Shoot! Somethime I think that boys cheese done slid right off his cracker! He does desperate things when we fall on hard times. |
![]() | Season 3 / Episode 3: - It Hurts Me Too Sam Merlotte: I don't appreciate you trying to get me killed. Tommy Mickens: I don't appreciate you comin' into my house like you belong here... I figured since we're related you could keep up. |
![]() | Season 3 / Episode 3: - It Hurts Me Too Terry Bellefleur: I'm moving in with Arlene Fowler. Sam Merlotte: [as Terry higs him] Ha! Congratulations. You're cracking my ribs, buddy. Hey, hey. Hey, now, it's gonna be okay. I mean, sure, it's scary. She's a little crazy, but so are... Is everybody, you know? Don't worry. Terry Bellefleur: I ain't worried. I've never been so not worried. This is what normal people do, Sam. They fall in love. They make each other laugh. And they move in together. They raise kids. They fight over money. They get old and fat together, and it's normal. And it's happening to me. I can't believe it. Sam Merlotte: Well, I can. Nobody deserves it more, Arlene Fowler: Baby? I don't feel too good today, okay? I ain't cleaned nothing, I ain't cleared nothing out. Terry Bellefleur: I'm the luckiest man in the world. |
![]() | Season 3 / Episode 2: - Beautifully Broken Tommy Mickens: [holding a shotgun to Sam] Don't move. Get out of the truck. Sam Merlotte: Which is it? Don't move or get out of the truck? |
![]() | Season 3 / Episode 1: - Bad Blood Audrey: [over the phone] I hope I didn't wake you? Sam Merlotte: I'm really glad you did, Audrey. |
![]() | Season 2 / Episode 12: - Beyond Here Lies Nothin' Bill Compton: You've heard there's a maenad in our midst? Sam Merlotte: I'm familiar. Bill Compton: You are aware she is here because of you. Sam Merlotte: Something like that. Bill Compton: I need you and Sookie needs you to make this right. Sam Merlotte: If I thought it was as easy as givin' myself up to Maryann, I'd have done that by now, and what's to say she's gonna stop at me? Killers just don't suddenly quit killin'. You oughta know that. Bill Compton: And standing by idly is not an option either. You must come with me. Sam Merlotte: Oh, I'm not sure I wanna be doing that. Bill Compton: I'm not sure I'm giving you a choice. |
![]() | Season 2 / Episode 12: - Beyond Here Lies Nothin' Bill Compton: I wanted to thank you for trusting me with your life. It couldn't have been easy. Sam Merlotte: Sookie's safe. You got what you wanted. Bill Compton: You wanted it too. Sam Merlotte: Well, she's family, but they all are. If there was a way to save 'em, I'm not gonna say 'no'. Bill Compton: I am grateful you would reveal your gift for the sake of the town. Sam Merlotte: It took me this long to realize you suffer a lot longer hidin' something than if you face up to it. |
![]() | Season 2 / Episode 12: - Beyond Here Lies Nothin' Sue Ann Merlotte: We never thought we'd see you again. Sam Merlotte: Well, never say never when there's the Internet. Sue Ann Merlotte: Sam, if you came for an explanation, um I don't have a good one. Mitchell and I were down to our last nickle and we were scared. We still don't know what we saw that night. Sam Merlotte: You saw me turn into a dog. So apparently that was worth abandoning me over. I spent the next nineteen years making sure nobody knew what I really was. That's what you left me with. Sue Ann Merlotte: [crying] I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. We never meant to hurt you. |
![]() | Season 2 / Episode 11: - Frenzy Jason Stackhouse: [as they clean up Merlotte's] Seriously, you can become any animal, any time? Sam Merlotte: Yes as long as I imprint on them. Jason Stackhouse: That is fuckin' cool man. Detective Andy Bellefleur: Yeah well as cool as that may be, we still got a maenad we gotta deal with before it takes our whole town out. Sam Merlotte: Listen, you can't deal with it. Alright? Your best bet's to leave while you still can. Jason Stackhouse: Shouldn't was at least get the law involved? Detective Andy Bellefleur: [offended] I am involved! Jason Stackhouse: There's Sheriff Dearborne, Kenya, the other guy... the squirrely one. Detective Andy Bellefleur: Sheriff's station was wide open and empty. It ain't gonna help. Jason Stackhouse: Then "we" are the law. Guys, I read a book about this. This is armageddon. This is the oral history of the zombie war... we need weapons. Lots of them. Sam Merlotte: Listen, I hate to break it to you but guns aren't going to do jack-shit to Maryann and you can't shoot anybody else. These are our friends. This is our town. Jason Stackhouse: Sometimes you need to destroy something to save it. That's in the Bible or the Constitution. |
![]() | Season 2 / Episode 11: - Frenzy Eric Northman: Why should I help you... shifter? Sam Merlotte: Because I need 'your' help. We need it and hopefully some day I might be able to give you something you need. Eric Northman: Can you give me Sookie Stackhouse? Sam Merlotte: No. Eric Northman: Well that's a shame. That would be a tribute I would not soon forget. Sam Merlotte: [irate] I'm not here to give you tribute, Eric. Eric Northman: No, you're here to request my help based on a hypothetical future in which you return the favor... But you are known not to be to friendly towards those like me. Why should I trust you? Sam Merlotte: Because until somebody starts trusting somebody, we're all single targets just right for the picking. |
![]() | Season 2 / Episode 11: - Frenzy Lisa Fowler: [to Eric] Can we see your fangs? Eric Northman: [draws his fangs as she flinches] Don't you like vampires, little girl? Sam Merlotte: [chafed] Eric! Lisa Fowler: Our almost step-dad hated vampires, but we don't. Coby Fowler: He went on a vacation with Jesus. Pam: [miffed] You make me so happy I never had any of you. Eric Northman: Oh come on, Pam. They're funny. They're like humans, but miniature. Teacup humans. |
![]() | Season 2 / Episode 10: - New World in My View Sam Merlotte: Lord, smite me. |
![]() | Season 2 / Episode 10: - New World in My View Sam Merlotte: I got no idea how we're gonna deal with a god-damned maenad. Detective Andy Bellefleur: A mae-what? Sam Merlotte: Wait. You don't remember any of what I told you last night? Or were you passed out, spent the whole fuckin' day in bed, sleepin' off your bender? Detective Andy Bellefleur: You said uh... Maryann was to blame for all this, the black bug eyes and the craziness. Sam Merlotte: And the people showin' up dead with their hearts cut out, in the back seat of your car. Detective Andy Bellefleur: She did that? Sam Merlotte: Yeah. She killed Daphne too. Detective Andy Bellefleur: Fuck me... We got another serial killer. Sam Merlotte: Andy, listen to me. I don't know how to stop her. Maryann isn't human. She is a maenad. She is a supernatural creature and she is immortal. She has powers and she's not leavin' till she gets what she wants, which I think is me. Detective Andy Bellefleur: What's she want you for? Sam Merlotte: I think she wants to cut out my heart while a bunch of naked people watch. All for Dionysus or Satan or some god that has horns that she wants to awaken. Detective Andy Bellefleur: [indignant] People thought I was crazy because I thought I saw a pig! Sam Merlotte: Well you did see a pig and you were right. That pig is a part of all this. That pig was... was doin' some of Maryann's dirty work for her. Detective Andy Bellefleur: Well if what you say is true, we need to kill that bitch! Sam Merlotte: She don't die. Remember? |
![]() | Season 2 / Episode 10: - New World in My View Detective Andy Bellefleur: [inside the freezer] We are fucked! Sam Merlotte: We're still alive. Detective Andy Bellefleur: For now! What we gonna do? We gonna have to kill them all. Sam Merlotte: Well even if we could, those are our friends and neighbors. Sam Merlotte: And cousins! Detective Andy Bellefleur: Right. We can't kill 'em. |
![]() | Season 2 / Episode 10: - New World in My View Detective Andy Bellefleur: [inside the freezer] Aren't you glad I didn't take you advice and quit drinkin'? [passing him the bottle] It's gonna save out lives. Sam Merlotte: If I had left this town when I wanted to, nobody'd be in this situation. Sam Merlotte: Don't beat yourself up Sam. You've been real good to this town, even if you are sometimes a nudist. |
![]() | Season 2 / Episode 9: - I Will Rise Up Sam Merlotte: [shouting to Bud] Got no evidence, Bud! Got no right to keep me locked up! |
![]() | Season 2 / Episode 8: - Timebomb Sam Merlotte: Listen, I know everyone says it, but I'm really not the guy you want. Sheriff Bud Dearborne: If it's like you said, that there's something out there that's fixin' to get you, than jail's about the safest place to spend the night. |
![]() | Season 2 / Episode 7: - Release Me Sam Merlotte: [about MaryAnn] Why is she going' through all this trouble tryin' to get to me? Daphne: 'Cause you got away from her once. She can't control you. |
![]() | Season 2 / Episode 7: - Release Me Daphne: [about MaryAnn] There ain't no point in fightin' her. You see, you'll never win. Sam Merlotte: I'm not just gonna let her kill me. Daphne: Bein' apart of something devine is worth dyin' a thousand time, you'll see. Sam Merlotte: If I give myself up, will she go away, leave everyone else alone? Daphne: I wouldn't bet on that. She's havin' too much fun and this town is full of crazies, ripe for the pickin'. |
![]() | Season 2 / Episode 5: - Never Let Me Go Daphne: [walking through the woods, undressing] You're carrying that secret like a two-ton sack of feed on your back and it doesn't have to be that way. Sam Merlotte: Secret? What secret? Daphne: [going behind a tree] Fiber! Sam Merlotte: I ain't in the mood tonight, little girl... Daphne? [picking up her clothes, seeing a fawn] Well, hey. Daphne: [shifting back] Hey your own self. |
![]() | Season 2 / Episode 5: - Never Let Me Go Sam Merlotte: [surprised] Y-you're a... Daphne: A shapeshifter and proud of it! Sam Merlotte: How'd you... how'd you find out about me? Daphne: Last night in the woods, I watched a dog jump in the water and it came up you. |
![]() | Season 2 / Episode 5: - Never Let Me Go Sam Merlotte: [in his office] Where the fuck have you been?... Couldn't pick up the damn phone? Lafayette Reynolds: [trying sincerely] Sorry. Sam Merlotte: Well 'sorry''s not good enough. Not only did you leave us high and dry. But there are people here who give a shit about you. We didn't know if you were alive or dead... You know ordinarily, right about now you'd be telling me to fuck off in some colorful and creative way. You wanna talk, do some talkin'. Lafayette Reynolds: Sam, all I wanna know is can I have my job back? Sam Merlotte: Now I oughta tell you to fuck off. All that pressure in the kitchen just about put Terry back in the V.A. hospital... Of course you can have your job back. Place ain't the same without you. |
![]() | Season 2 / Episode 5: - Never Let Me Go Sam Merlotte: Where the fuck have you been? Couldn't pick up a damn phone? Lafayette Reynolds: Sorry Sam Merlotte: Well, sorry's not good enough. Not only did you leave us high and dry but there are people here who give a shit about you. We didn't know if you were alive or dead. Wait, ordinarily, right about now, you'd be telling me to fuck off in some colorful and creative way. Well, you want to talk, do some talking. Lafayette Reynolds: Sam all I want to know is, can I have my job back? Sam Merlotte: I outta tell *you* to fuck off. All that pressure in the kitchen just about put Terry back in the VA hospital. Yeah, of course you can have your job back. The place ain't the same without you. Lafayette Reynolds: Thank you, Sam Sam Merlotte: Lafayette. What happened to you? Lafayette Reynolds: [walks out the door and closes it behind him] |
![]() | Season 2 / Episode 4: - Shake and Fingerpop Terry Bellefleur: [as Sam comes thru the kitchen and into the freezer] I thought you were leaving. Sam Merlotte: I haven't left yet. Terry Bellefleur: Does that mean you're not leaving? Sam Merlotte: Nope, it means I haven't left yet. Terry Bellefleur: So you are leavin'? Sam Merlotte: [walking out] Haven't left yet. Terry Bellefleur: [under his breath] Dumbass. |
![]() | Season 2 / Episode 4: - Shake and Fingerpop Sookie Stackhouse: [chasing after Sam] I know it seems like I led you on, but cut me soem slack. My grandmother had just been murdered, Rene was after 'me', and I didn't think Bill was ever comin' back. Sam Merlotte: [stopping] Christ, Sookie! I really don't have time for this. Sookie Stackhouse: Well, if you care about our friendship I suggest you make time for it. Sam Merlotte: Look, I got serious shit I'm dealin' with right now. Makin' you fell better is not high on my list. |
![]() | Season 2 / Episode 4: - Shake and Fingerpop Maryann Forrester: [at Tara's party] Well, I have to say I'm impressed by your showing up. Sam Merlotte: Okay, listen. Go ahead and turn me. Reveal what I am. But you will also reveal yourself in the process. Maryann Forrester: [giddy] Reveal myself as what? Sam Merlotte: As what ever the hell you are. A witch, a sorceress, a demon, I don't know what you are. I don't know what you're doing here, but these are people I care about. And I will not stand by if you try and hurt any of them. Maryann Forrester: Even when they've dumped you or chosen a dead man over you? You're really not an alpha, are you? |
![]() | Season 2 / Episode 3: - Scratches Terry Bellefleur: [looking at Sam's packed SUV] So you're just gonna cut and run? Just like that? Sam Merlotte: I'm not runnin'. Terry Bellefleur: [almost angry] Uh huh. Remind me never to get stuck in a fox hole with you... coward. |
![]() | Season 2 / Episode 3: - Scratches Daphne: [to Sam, after the collie runs off] Were you just talking to that dog? Sam Merlotte: [in the water] Daphne? What are you doing out here in the middle of the night? Daphne: Same as you, I guess. Just tryin' to cool off and I can't sleep. I have this hardass boss. He really laid into me this week. Sam Merlotte: He sounds like a jerk. Daphne: He's not all bad. He can be real nice, to dogs. Sam Merlotte: Listen, I'm real sorry. I've had a lot on my mind. |
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