Gwen Cooper

Torchwood (UK)

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Played by:

Eve Myles

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Gwen Cooper Quotes

	Season 3 / Episode 5: - Children of Earth (5) Gwen Cooper: There's one thing I always meant to ask Jack. Back in the old days. I wanted to know about that Doctor of his. The man who appears out of nowhere and saves the world. Except sometimes he doesn't. All those times in history when there was no sign of him, I wanted to know why not. But I don't need to ask any more. I know the answer now. Sometimes the Doctor must look at this planet and turn away in shame. I'm recording this in case anyone ever finds it, so you can see... you can see how the world ended.
	Season 3 / Episode 5: - Children of Earth (5) John Frobisher: Do you think you're still players? Gwen Cooper: We can try.
	Season 3 / Episode 5: - Children of Earth (5) Gwen Cooper: I can't tell you. PC Andy: Hey! I am the police! Gwen Cooper: Right now, I need you to drive this car, and if I told you... PC Andy: What? Don't you bloody hate people who don't finish their sentences?
	Season 3 / Episode 5: - Children of Earth (5) Gwen Cooper: That's what Torchwood does. It ruins your life. Rhys Williams: How's it ruined? Gwen Cooper: You want to have kids in a world like this, Rhys? Rhys Williams: You're not getting rid of it. Gwen Cooper: Is that right?
	Season 3 / Episode 3: - Children of Earth (3) Captain Jack Harkness: In 1965, I gave them twelve children. Gwen Cooper: What for? Captain Jack Harkness: As a gift.
	Season 3 / Episode 2: - Children of Earth (2) Rhys Williams: How're you, love? Gwen Cooper: My best friend's belly had a bomb go off in it last night. Someone's been trying to kill us ever since. I'm traveling at 70 miles an hour on top of a bed of potatoes, and I think I'm going to be sick. Rhys Williams: Travel sick, is it? Gwen Cooper: When have you ever known me to be travel sick? Rhys Williams: Well... when have you ever traveled like this? Gwen Cooper: Mhm. Rhys Williams: On an empty stomach... [off Gwen's look] What? What? Gwen Cooper: You know some of those announcements you, you rehearse in your head. And this wasn't quite what I had in mind Rhys Williams: What do you mean 'announcements'? [Gwen smiles]
	Season 3 / Episode 2: - Children of Earth (2) Gwen Cooper: [Gwen has announced her pregnancy and insists it changes nothing] We're up the same creek and we still need a paddle. Rhys Williams: Well yeah, but three of us in the boat!
	Season 2 / Episode 13: - Exit Wounds Captain Jack Harkness: Now we carry on. Gwen Cooper: I don't think I can. Not after this. Captain Jack Harkness: You can. We all can. The end is where we start from.
	Season 2 / Episode 13: - Exit Wounds PC Andy: They just appeared out of nowhere, across the whole building. They weren't human. At least not like any human I've ever seen. The whole station is in shock. The four most senior officers murdered. Everyone is running around like headless chickens. PC Andy: [Andy sees Rhys enter] Whoa, whoa, whoa, Rhys, what are you doing here? This is a crime scene, and a confidential crime scene at that. [to Gwen] If it gets out what happened here there will be a citywide panic. Gwen Cooper: Rhys isn't gonna go blabbing. Rhys Williams: Yeah, I'm keeping more secrets than you'd ever believe. PC Andy: Oh yeah, like what? Rhys Williams: Like a Time Agency based in Cardiff? Gwen Cooper: No, it's not based in Cardiff! PC Andy: Brilliant secret - I ask, you tell. Well done!
	Season 2 / Episode 13: - Exit Wounds Captain John Hart: You took your time! Gwen Cooper: [pointing gun] On your knees, now! Captain John Hart: [sigh] Honestly, it's just "sex, sex, sex" with you people.
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - Meat Gwen Cooper: Have you ever eaten alien meat? Captain Jack Harkness: Yeah. Gwen Cooper: What was it like? Captain Jack Harkness: Well, he seemed to enjoy it...
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - Meat Owen Harper: So the protein chains are regenerating despite the mutilation, so not only is it replenishing its own flesh, but it's increasing it, giving them a brand new meat supply. Gwen Cooper: It will last them for years, then Toshiko Sato: If we understood how it worked, we could feed the whole world! Ianto Jones: [deadpan] We could release a single!
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - Meat Captain Jack Harkness: Before we get ahead of ourselves, we're talking about dodgy pies in Merthyr, okay? And the fact that they're cutting it up alive - which we could've put a stop to already if it wasn't for you. Rhys Williams: I thought that my fiancée was in danger! Captain Jack Harkness: Well, Mr. Caveman, she wasn't. She can handle herself. Gwen Cooper: [warningly] Jack. Captain Jack Harkness: All you did tonight was mess things up. Now we have to think of a way to get back in, and thanks to you, they'll have tightened security! Rhys Williams: Well, if you stopped, and asked me exactly what I saw in there instead of showin' off 'round the place... Captain Jack Harkness: [to Ianto] Do I show off? Ianto Jones: [nods] Just a bit. Rhys Williams: - You'd know that I got out by tellin' them I wanted a job - as a delivery boy. So rather than 'cock things up', I found you a way to get in, but if you can't handle that, big boy, then you can stuff it! Captain Jack Harkness: [pause, looks at Gwen] This is quite homoerotic.
	Season 2 / Episode 2: - Sleeper Beth: [to Jack] Will it hurt? Captain Jack Harkness: Yes. Beth: Your bedside manner's rubbish. Gwen Cooper: You should see his manners in bed. They're atrocious!... apparently. So I've heard. Ianto Jones: Oh they are. I remember this one time... Captain Jack Harkness: [clears throat forcefully]
	Season 2 / Episode 2: - Sleeper Gwen Cooper: It's just like going to sleep. Owen Harper: Only a bit colder.
	Season 2 / Episode 2: - Sleeper Toshiko Sato: [as Captain Jack takes an alien artifact out of a box] You said we weren't allowed to use that again. Captain Jack Harkness: It's just a mind probe. Ianto Jones: Remember what happened the last time you used it? Captain Jack Harkness: That was different. That species has extremely high blood pressure. Ianto Jones: All right, their heads must explode all the time. Gwen Cooper: Jack, we can't do this. What if you're wrong? If she is human, it'll kill her. Captain Jack Harkness: I'm not wrong. We have to find out what she is. Toshiko Sato: Take it easy, Jack. Stop at the first sign of trouble. Ianto Jones: Or the first sign of exploding.
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang Gwen Cooper: What happened to Jack? He should be here! Captain John Hart: What I've been saying all along: unreliable. Gwen Cooper: Shut up! Captain John Hart: [looking out the window] I think I'm starting to see what he likes about this place: she's beautiful, he's stunning... Gwen Cooper: Do you ever stop? Captain John Hart: What? Five minutes to live, you want me to behave? Oh, that's gorgeous. Gwen Cooper: That's a poodle. Captain John Hart: [savagely] That's nice.
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang Gwen Cooper: [to old woman] Excuse me, have you seen a blowfish driving a sports car? Gwen Cooper: Thank you. [they drive on] Old Woman: Bloody Torchwood.
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang Gwen Cooper: All I'm saying is: You are speeding, and there are children. Owen Harper: Well, if kids are out at midnight, they've got it coming.
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang Gwen Cooper: Can you deal with the body when it's cold? Ianto Jones: My pleasure, unless you'll be making sushi.
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang Gwen Cooper: You left us, Jack! Captain Jack Harkness: [sigh] I know, I'm sorry. Gwen Cooper: We knew nothing, Jack! Toshiko Sato: Where were you? Captain Jack Harkness: [smiles] I found my Doctor. Owen Harper: Did he fix you? Captain Jack Harkness: What's to fix? You don't mess with this level of perfection. Ianto Jones: [softly] Are you going back to him? Captain Jack Harkness: I came back for you. [pause] All of you.
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang Captain John Hart: Oh. By the way. Meant to tell you, I found Gray. Gwen Cooper: Who's Gray? Captain Jack Harkness: It's nothing. [sighs] Let's get back to work.
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - End Of Days Owen Harper: We need to be prepared. We're helpless. All we're doing here is putting sticking plasters on gaping wounds! Captain Jack Harkness: What do you suggest? Owen Harper: I suggest you lead us and you tell us what the instructions are. Gwen Cooper: Owen. Owen Harper: No, come on. You're all thinking it too. You're the big man here. You keep all the secrets. Well, now's the time to tell us a few and tell us how the hell we're going to get out of this! Captain Jack Harkness: You wanna know the secret? There is no solution. I can't fix this. Because this was never meant to happen. The first thing you learned when you joined Torchwood is 'don't mess with the Rift'. But you disobeyed those orders, and now everything that's happening is down to you. Gwen Cooper: I only disobeyed instructions to get you back! Captain Jack Harkness: And now people are dying. Owen Harper: What, so I shouldn't have bothered? Who the fuck are you anyway, Jack Harkness? You don't even exist. We've looked. So if you're not even a real person, then why the hell should I follow your orders? Captain Jack Harkness: Get out.
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - End Of Days Gwen Cooper: This is what happens here. We all end up alone. Not me. No way. You bring him back. Captain Jack Harkness: No. Gwen Cooper: The resurrection gauntlet... Ianto Jones: Was destroyed. Gwen Cooper: You've gotta have something else. Captain Jack Harkness: I said no. Gwen Cooper: No, there's something wrong with time so we, we can go back and, to the moment, to the very moment... Captain Jack Harkness: Gwen! Gwen Cooper: Well there's got to be, there's got to be something that you can do, otherwise what's the fucking point of you! You bring him back! You bring him back, do you understand me Jack fucking Harkness? Captain Jack Harkness: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - End Of Days Gwen Cooper: I've got to get Rhys back. Captain Jack Harkness: Yeah, you're so in love with Rhys, you spend half your time in Owen's bed. Gwen Cooper: [Gwen punches Jack in the face] Fuck you!
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - End Of Days Gwen Cooper: Jack, what would have tempted you? What visions would have convinced you to open the Rift? Captain Jack Harkness: The right kind of Doctor.
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - End Of Days Captain Jack Harkness: Gwen Cooper, so in love with your boyfriend you spend half your life in Owen's bed. Gwen Cooper: [Gwen punches Jack in the face and he falls to the ground] Fuck you. Owen Harper: [Owen points a gun at Jack's head] We're relieving you of your command, Captain.
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - End Of Days Owen Harper: I thought we tidied up in here. What's the matter? Gwen Cooper: He was just here. Something's taken him; Jack's gone.
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - They Keep Killing Suzie Suzie Costello: So tell me, since I've been gone, you enjoying it? Gwen Cooper: Yeah. Well, you know this place, it's sort of... it's mad, isn't it? Suzie Costello: Insane. Gwen Cooper: Bloody nuts. Suzie Costello: Best job I ever had. Gwen Cooper: Me too. Suzie Costello: And the worst. Gwen Cooper: Yeah, tell me about it.
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - Greeks Bearing Gifts Gwen Cooper: Amanda Burton here has just finished the postmortem. Owen Harper: Okay, I can explain. Gwen Cooper: [cutting Owen off] As you may remember, Owen said said this was a woman killed by a single gunshot. Owen Harper: I'd have been there in like a minute. Gwen Cooper: Since then he has had to tweak some of his initial conclusions. The first being that this is not, in fact, a woman, but a man! Owen Harper: A young man. A very girly man! Gwen Cooper: But still, ultimately, a man. Then there was the cause of death. Owen said, GSW. [makes a buzzer sound] The correct answer was... Owen Harper: Unidentified trauma, but... Toshiko Sato: Unidentified trauma? Gwen Cooper: You see it in RTAs, when something like a post or steering column goes into the body at high velocity. However, the one thing that could be ruled out was... Owen Harper: [sighing heavily] Gunshot wound. Gwen Cooper: [smacking the railing with delight] Gunshot wound! So tell me, was there any part of your prognosis that was correct? Owen Harper: I got that it was a... skeleton. Gwen Cooper: [pointing dramatically] Yes you did! Yes you did! Owen Harper: [as Tosh and Jack walk away] You've just passed the point of no return. Gwen Cooper: [talking over Owen] Where did you train? Where did you train? Owen Harper: I trained at... Gwen Cooper: Did you train? Owen Harper: Look... Gwen Cooper: [off-screen as Jack and Tosh enter another room] Absolutely useless.

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