Captain Jack Harkness

Torchwood (UK)

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Played by:

John Barrowman
Born in Glasgow, Scotland, and raised in Joliet, Illinois. He returned to the UK, for a 6 month Shakespeare ...

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Captain Jack Harkness Quotes

	Season 3 / Episode 5: - Children of Earth (5) Captain Jack Harkness: You said it yourself: the world is going to hell any second. Before it does, give us a moment of grace.
	Season 3 / Episode 4: - Children of Earth (4) Captain Jack Harkness: All this time the one consolation I had, was the deal seemed to work. Rhys Williams: It worked for 44 years. That's not a bad breathing space.
	Season 3 / Episode 4: - Children of Earth (4) 456 Voice: Then the fight begins. Captain Jack Harkness: We're waiting for your reply.
	Season 3 / Episode 4: - Children of Earth (4) Captain Jack Harkness: An injury to one is an injury to all.
	Season 3 / Episode 4: - Children of Earth (4) 456 Voice: This is fascinating, isn't it? The human infant mortality rate is 29 thousand 158 deaths per day. Every three seconds a child dies. The human response is to accept and adapt. Captain Jack Harkness: We're adapting right now, and we're making this a war. 456 Voice: Then the fight begins.
	Season 3 / Episode 3: - Children of Earth (3) Captain Jack Harkness: In 1965, I gave them twelve children. Gwen Cooper: What for? Captain Jack Harkness: As a gift.
	Season 2 / Episode 13: - Exit Wounds Captain Jack Harkness: You've destroyed the city! Captain John Hart: Jack, hold me. [hugs Jack]
	Season 2 / Episode 13: - Exit Wounds Captain Jack Harkness: Now we carry on. Gwen Cooper: I don't think I can. Not after this. Captain Jack Harkness: You can. We all can. The end is where we start from.
	Season 2 / Episode 13: - Exit Wounds Captain Jack Harkness: This is a little extreme, don't you think? Captain John Hart: Well, what? Suddenly you're anti-bondage?
	Season 2 / Episode 12: - Fragments Ianto Jones: [Trying to catch a pterodactyl] What exactly is your plan? Captain Jack Harkness: I'm going to be the decoy. Ianto Jones: And it will rip you to shreds. Captain Jack Harkness: Dinosaurs? Had 'em for breakfast. Had to. Only source of pre-cooked food protein after the asteroid crashed. Long story.
	Season 2 / Episode 11: - Adrift Captain Jack Harkness: Too bad you weren't here a hour ago; we could have used you for naked hide and seek. Ianto Jones: [smirks] He cheats, he always cheats.
	Season 2 / Episode 9: - Something Borrowed Captain Jack Harkness: [having splattered the nostrovite all over Rhys, who's holding a chainsaw] That whole Evil Dead thing looks good on you, Rhys.
	Season 2 / Episode 8: - A Day in the Death (3) Captain Jack Harkness: [Owen has just resurfaced after an attempt to kill himself by drowning] Thirty-six minutes. Not bad. Owen Harper: You were watching? Captain Jack Harkness: Skinny guy in tight jeans runs into water, I was taking pictures.
	Season 2 / Episode 7: - Dead Man Walking (2) Martha Jones: The time is 21:30. This is Dr. Martha Jones. Autopsy on Owen Harper, Caucasian, Age 27. Torchwood Officer 565. Time of death witnessed at approximately 20:30. Autopsy begins. [Martha picks up a surgical saw as Gwen, Ianto and Toshiko look on from the morgue gallery] Captain Jack Harkness: [bursting in the gallery] Stop! Nobody touches him until I get back! Is that clear? [Jack runs back out of the gallery]
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - Adam Captain Jack Harkness: Found your diary. Ianto Jones: Oh, yeah, I've been looking for that... [starts to walk away] Captain Jack Harkness: And for the record: measuring tapes never lie. Ianto Jones: [silently] Fuck.
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - Meat Gwen Cooper: Have you ever eaten alien meat? Captain Jack Harkness: Yeah. Gwen Cooper: What was it like? Captain Jack Harkness: Well, he seemed to enjoy it...
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - Meat Captain Jack Harkness: Before we get ahead of ourselves, we're talking about dodgy pies in Merthyr, okay? And the fact that they're cutting it up alive - which we could've put a stop to already if it wasn't for you. Rhys Williams: I thought that my fiancée was in danger! Captain Jack Harkness: Well, Mr. Caveman, she wasn't. She can handle herself. Gwen Cooper: [warningly] Jack. Captain Jack Harkness: All you did tonight was mess things up. Now we have to think of a way to get back in, and thanks to you, they'll have tightened security! Rhys Williams: Well, if you stopped, and asked me exactly what I saw in there instead of showin' off 'round the place... Captain Jack Harkness: [to Ianto] Do I show off? Ianto Jones: [nods] Just a bit. Rhys Williams: - You'd know that I got out by tellin' them I wanted a job - as a delivery boy. So rather than 'cock things up', I found you a way to get in, but if you can't handle that, big boy, then you can stuff it! Captain Jack Harkness: [pause, looks at Gwen] This is quite homoerotic.
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - Meat Captain Jack Harkness: [talking about the alien] We're going to save it. Stabilize it, wait for the rift to open, and, fwooh, send it back. Ianto Jones: ...And guess who'll have to look after it in the meantime? Captain Jack Harkness: We are doing this. That's an order. Owen Harper: Fine. Ianto Jones: I'll stock up on plankton.
	Season 2 / Episode 3: - To the Last Man Captain Jack Harkness: This time tomorrow he'll be back in 1918. Ianto Jones: In his own time. Would you go back to yours if you could? Captain Jack Harkness: Why? Would you miss me? Ianto Jones: Yep. Captain Jack Harkness: I left home a long time ago. Don't really know where I really belong. Maybe that doesn't matter anymore. Ianto Jones: I... know you get lonely. Captain Jack Harkness: Going home wouldn't fix that. Being here, I've seen things I never dreamt I'd see. Loved people I never would have known if I'd just stayed where I was. And I wouldn't change that for the world.
	Season 2 / Episode 2: - Sleeper Beth: [to Jack] Will it hurt? Captain Jack Harkness: Yes. Beth: Your bedside manner's rubbish. Gwen Cooper: You should see his manners in bed. They're atrocious!... apparently. So I've heard. Ianto Jones: Oh they are. I remember this one time... Captain Jack Harkness: [clears throat forcefully]
	Season 2 / Episode 2: - Sleeper Ianto Jones: Just us... in this room... for as long as it takes. Terrifying. Captain Jack Harkness: Really? Ianto Jones: Absolutely. Shivers down my spine. Captain Jack Harkness: You don't look scared. Ianto Jones: Well, it... passed. [Jack raises fist in a mock threatening manner and growls]
	Season 2 / Episode 2: - Sleeper Toshiko Sato: [as Captain Jack takes an alien artifact out of a box] You said we weren't allowed to use that again. Captain Jack Harkness: It's just a mind probe. Ianto Jones: Remember what happened the last time you used it? Captain Jack Harkness: That was different. That species has extremely high blood pressure. Ianto Jones: All right, their heads must explode all the time. Gwen Cooper: Jack, we can't do this. What if you're wrong? If she is human, it'll kill her. Captain Jack Harkness: I'm not wrong. We have to find out what she is. Toshiko Sato: Take it easy, Jack. Stop at the first sign of trouble. Ianto Jones: Or the first sign of exploding.
	Season 2 / Episode 2: - Sleeper Captain Jack Harkness: Have a little faith. With a dashing hero like me on the case, how can we fail? Ianto Jones: He is dashing. You have to give him that.
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang Captain John Hart: You've put on weight! Captain Jack Harkness: You're losing your hair. Captain John Hart: What are you wearing? Captain Jack Harkness: Captain Jack Harkness, note the stripes. Captain John Hart: Captain John Hart, note the sarcasm. Captain Jack Harkness: Hey, I worked my way up through the ranks! Captain John Hart: I bet the ranks were very grateful... I need a drink. Captain Jack Harkness: I thought you'd never ask. Captain Jack Harkness: So, uh, how was rehab? Captain John Hart: Rehabs. Plural. Captain Jack Harkness: Drink, drugs, sex and... Captain John Hart: [grins] Murder. Captain Jack Harkness: [laughs] You went to murder rehab? Captain John Hart: I know, ridiculous! The odd kill, who does it hurt? Captain Jack Harkness: [sobers] You clean now? Captain John Hart: Yeah, kicked everything. Living like a priest.
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang Captain Jack Harkness: Hey Kids, did ya miss me?
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang Captain Jack Harkness: How are you, Ianto? Ianto Jones: All the better for having you back, sir. Captain Jack Harkness: Could we maybe drop the "sir" now? I mean, while I was away, I was thinking. Maybe we could, you know, when this is all done: dinner, a movie... Ianto Jones: Are you asking me out on a date? Captain Jack Harkness: Interested? Ianto Jones: [scoffs] Well, as long as it's, not in an office. Some fetishes should be kept to yourself...
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang Captain Jack Harkness: Oh yeah, loving that 'officey' feel. I always get excited in these places. To me they're exotic: office romances, photocopying your butt. Well, maybe not your butt, although, as we're here, why don't we photo... Ianto Jones: [interrupting] The rift was active at these co-ordinates approximately 200 feet above ground. That means this floor, or the roof.
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang Gwen Cooper: You left us, Jack! Captain Jack Harkness: [sigh] I know, I'm sorry. Gwen Cooper: We knew nothing, Jack! Toshiko Sato: Where were you? Captain Jack Harkness: [smiles] I found my Doctor. Owen Harper: Did he fix you? Captain Jack Harkness: What's to fix? You don't mess with this level of perfection. Ianto Jones: [softly] Are you going back to him? Captain Jack Harkness: I came back for you. [pause] All of you.
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang Ianto Jones: [about Jack's WristComm] Woah, that never beeps. Captain Jack Harkness: That's what I was thinking. Captain John Hart: [via Hologram] I can't believe I got the answering machine. What can you be doing that's more important than me? Anyway, you've probably traced the energy shift, found the body - all me. Sorry about the mess, bill me for the clean up. Now, Drinks! Retrolog the transmission coordinates, that's where I am. And hurry up, work to do. Captain John Hart: "Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope."
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang Captain Jack Harkness: Torchwood. Outside the government, beyond the police, tracking down alien life on earth and arming the human race against the future. The 21st century is when everything changes... and Torchwood... is ready!

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