The Mayor

Tom Goes to the Mayor

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Played by:

Eric Wareheim

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Find The Mayor on other TV Shows

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The Mayor Quotes

Unknown Episode:

Mike Fox: [the Mayor is watching "Scared Straight" on TV] My name is Mike Foxx and I've lost thirteen of my own children - four to wind poisoning, two to sand rash, five to deadly crickets, and at least six to a mysterious drifter who looks and sounds like this guy:
Mysterious Drifter: This is the sound of my voice!
The Mayor: Oh, no!

Unknown Episode:

The Mayor: [Tom is unconscious in a dumpster] Thomas! Tom-boy! Tom! Tom, are you okay?
Tom Peters: Oh, wow...
The Mayor: It's okay... I'm gonna hold up your head for you.
Tom Peters: ...think I hit my head... wh... where am I? What time is it?
The Mayor: Well... I've been keeping you in this dumpster for weeks now. Found this vest on a hobo and put it on you to keep you warm, 'cause you've been way too tender to move.
Tom Peters: Oh. Okay. What's that smell?
The Mayor: Tom, what you're probably smelling is the cat food. I've been coming by every night to feed you, and since you're unconscious, I would take a dollop of the wet cat food and stick it in your mouth and then move your jaw up and down like a chewing motion. [Tom gags] But in that process, some of the cat food fell out onto your lips and your face and it hardened a little bit in your hair and on your shirt.
Tom Peters: Okay. Right.
The Mayor: C'mon now, don't worry. I'll carry you over.
Tom Peters: I think I have B.M. in my pants.

[More Quotes]

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