1x06 Flood

Rick: [pacing around the room] Meringue... Boomerang... Long, blue, boomerang...
Vyvyan: Oh, shut up.
Rick: I'm trying to free form.
Vyvyan: I'm trying to read.
Rick: OH, REALLY! I learned how to do that years ago. And what is it your reading Vyvian? A bit of Petrarchian verse, is it? A little bit of French drama?
Vyvyan: It's called "SS Death Camp Criminal Battalion go to Monte Casino for the Massacre".
Rick: [snatching comic] That's MY bloody comic.
Vyvyan: Give it back.
Rick: No, Vyvyan. It's mine.

Rick: Anyway, there's no point in reading comics, they're stupid. They treat the kids as if they we're... well, you know, kids. Nothing but war in them. War, war bloody war. Why can't they have stories about love and peace?
Vyvyan: Because it's sissy, you girly.
Rick: I'm not being girly, Vyvyian. Longing for a peaceful world is not being girly.
Vyvyan: It is - It's being soppy and very very girly.
Rick: I AM NOT BEING G - Look, this entire discussion is completely sexist anyway and I don't intend to continue it.

Rick: but

Rick: for your information, it is not soppy of me to long for a world where a man will love his brother.
Vyvyan: Poof.
Rick: You're dilibratelly trying to provoke me aren't you?
Vyvyan: Yeah.
Rick: For one man to love another, Vyvyan, is not poofy. It's actually very beautiful. It's only when they start touching each others bottoms that it gets poofy.

Neil: Hey, wouldn't it be terrible if we ended up having to eat each other? Like those sailors did in that film, um..."We Ended Up Having To Eat Each Other."

Jerzy Balowski: Well, we're halfway through the show and it's time for a half time report. I think the show has been going particularly well. I particularly like how the young lad, Rick, has been going off the joke into the dead laugh area. Going into the international sphere, they're going to have to face some stiff competition especially from the Swedes with their comedy series "Ooh, Where's My Volvo?" and also, of course, from the French with their comedy series, "Mr. Poo Poo Goes to the Lavatory". Anyway, the half time's over now and it's back to the action.