Toby Ziegler

The West Wing

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Characters: #5 of 12 (Full List)

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Richard Schiff
Richard was the middle of three sons born to Edward, a real estate lawyer, and Charlotte, a cable TV ...

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Toby Ziegler Quotes

	Season 7 / Episode 5: - Here Today President Josiah Bartlet: Toby... Toby Ziegler: Yes, sir? President Josiah Bartlet: When you walk out of here, there'll be people out there, perhaps a great many, who'll think of you as a hero. I just don't for a moment want you thinking I'll be one of them.
	Season 6 / Episode 16: - Drought Conditions Leo McGarry: You are no longer the guy who picks losing candidates and ushers them to their principled end. You're the guy who takes good men and makes them great. You and Josh, you still think you're terriers barking at the heels of the party. You are the party. Rafferty's a spoiler, shouldn't be in the race. Toby Ziegler: I'm not sitting this one out, Leo. Leo McGarry: Don't. But don't pretend you're still an outsider with a ponytail and a dream, you work in the White House... Your brother didn't have any more fight in him. You still do.
	Season 6 / Episode 8: - In the Room Toby Ziegler: Did they just burn an American flag in the White House? Josh Lyman: Uh-huh.
	Season 5 / Episode 7: - Separation of Powers Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg: Okay, but I've got to be careful about saying "man." Toby Ziegler: Why, 'cause - ? Oh, c'mon! Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg: You'd be surprised. I get letters. Toby Ziegler: Fine, "human being," then, or do the other mammals complain?
	Season 5 / Episode 5: - Constituency of One Toby Ziegler: Where's our hundred days? Where's our Great Society? Where's our New Frontier? Somebody's got to do what we came here to do.
	Season 5 / Episode 4: - Han Toby Ziegler: In a triumph of the middling, a nod to mediocrity, and with gorge rising, it gives me great nausea to announce Robert Russell - Bingo Bob, himself - as your new Vice President. Will Bailey: This lapdog of the mining interests is as dull as he is unremarkable... Toby Ziegler: ...as lackluster as he is soporific. This reversion to the mean... Will Bailey: ...this rebuke to the exemplary... Toby Ziegler: ...gives hope to the millions unfavored by the exceptional... Bob Russell: not the worst, not the best, just what we're stuck with.
	Season 5 / Episode 3: - Jefferson Lives Will Bailey: Diane Frost is a serious name. Josh Lyman: Diane is a serious loon of the left. Toby Ziegler: I love Diane Frost. I'd marry Diane Frost if I were a member of her stated sexual preference, but Diane is the definition of unelectable.
	Season 4 / Episode 23: - Twenty Five Toby Ziegler: [holding his twin babies] I didn't realize babies come with hats. You guys crack me up. You don't have jobs. You can't walk or speak the language. You don't have a dollar in your pockets but you got yourselves a hat so everything's fine. I don't want to alarm you or anything, but I'm Dad. And for you, son - for you - this will be the last time I pass the buck, but I think it should be clear from the get-go that it was Mom who named you Huckleberry. I guess she was feeling like life doesn't present enough challenges to overcome on its own. And, honey, you've got a name now, too. Toby Ziegler: Your mom and I named you after an incredibly brave woman, really not all that much older than you. Your name is Molly. Huck and Molly. So, what do I do? Well, you're going to need food and clothes and doctors and dentists and there's that. And should you have any questions along the way...
	Season 4 / Episode 23: - Twenty Five President Josiah Bartlet: So, what did you learn? Toby Ziegler: Babies come with hats.
	Season 4 / Episode 21: - Life On Mars Charlie Young: Are you eating a salad? Toby Ziegler: Yeah. Charlie Young: Why? Toby Ziegler: 'Cause I am. Charlie Young: I don't think I've ever seen you eat a salad. What kind of salad is it? Toby Ziegler: I don't know... Charlie Young: Just mixed greens? Toby Ziegler: I don't know what kind of salad it is, I'm eating a salad, okay? I'm doing it, do I have to know the names? There's no difference between them, it's a bowl of weeds! Toby Ziegler: Some of them have cheese, this isn't the kind with cheese, does that answer your question? Toby Ziegler: Man, how many years have you been: "Toby, you eat like a teenager, Toby, that's red meat, that's your second cigar!" And here I am, eating a salad, which by the way you could smother up this with barbecue sauce, and it would still taste like the ground, and I'm getting heckle from the gallery! ...who wanted to come in here eationg his roast beef sandwich with ketchup on a Kayser roll, and watch the damn tennis on my TV!! Toby Ziegler: That's all I'm saying! Charlie Young: Man, you're really doing all you can to marry that woman!
	Season 4 / Episode 20: - Evidence of Things Not Seen Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg: The substance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things not seen. Toby Ziegler: I think what he's asking is why, on most other nights, do you think the world's going to hell in a hula hoop, but tonight... Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg: We dip twice and eat gefilte fish? Toby Ziegler: Suzy Creamcheese, do not attempt the Haggadah. Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg: I know how to bless the soup, too.
	Season 4 / Episode 20: - Evidence of Things Not Seen Toby Ziegler: And they're sending in a team of lawyers to look into it? Will Bailey: Yeah, but we're scrappy.
	Season 4 / Episode 17: - Red Haven's on Fire Sam Seaborn: How'd you call Josh? Toby Ziegler: What do you mean? Sam Seaborn: Didn't they take your cellphone from you? Toby Ziegler: I borrowed theirs. [motions to the bench of call girls] Sam Seaborn: So on a call girl's phone bill, there's going to be a call to Air Force One? Toby Ziegler: You're really going to be teaching the seminar on call girl caution? Really?
	Season 4 / Episode 17: - Red Haven's on Fire C.J. Cregg: He looks youthful... Toby Ziegler: Yes. C.J. Cregg: ...and energetic. Toby Ziegler: Yes. C.J. Cregg: He looks youthful and energetic. Do we have anything he can jump over?
	Season 4 / Episode 17: - Red Haven's on Fire Sam Seaborn: [to Charlie] You're all right? Charlie Young: Yeah, I'm all right. You know, when you sit in a cage, you have time to do a lot of thinking. Toby Ziegler: Hurricane, we were in the joint for two hours and 20 minutes, 'kay?
	Season 4 / Episode 17: - Red Haven's on Fire Toby Ziegler: You know what they don't tell you? You can post bond with a credit card. Charlie Young: [to officer] Yo, man, that's totally whack! Toby Ziegler: [into cellphone] Yeah. Charlie's trying to throw down with the street. It's kind of a sad sight to see. Charlie Young: [to officer] I've got American Express. I've got Visa. I could've posted bond and gotten miles, damn it.
	Season 4 / Episode 17: - Red Haven's on Fire Toby Ziegler: No, I just got off with Josh, and I'm running the campaign for the last week. Sam Seaborn: Yeah. Technically, the President can't fire Scott Holcomb. Toby Ziegler: He was taking it in the wrong direction, Sam, and you know it. Sam Seaborn: And you guys are going to take it in the right direction? Toby Ziegler: We made a rough entrance here, but things are looking up now. Sam Seaborn: You trapped people at Disneyland, told the French they could stick a loaf of bread up their ass, had a meeting with a Communist, and things are looking up 'cause my new campaign director just made bail. Toby Ziegler: Look, a glass is half full or half... You know, the other thing...
	Season 4 / Episode 17: - Red Haven's on Fire Toby Ziegler: [Toby in California] Charlie and I got arrested. Will Bailey: [Will in Washington] Yeah, I saw it on the news. Toby Ziegler: It made the news out there? Will Bailey: A Jewish guy won a bar fight-- it's news everywhere.
	Season 4 / Episode 17: - Red Haven's on Fire Sam Seaborn: I'm gonna lose. Toby Ziegler: Yeah. Sam Seaborn: There's no chance of a miracle? Toby Ziegler: No. Sam Seaborn: Then why are you here? Toby Ziegler: You're gonna lose, and you're gonna lose huge. They're gonna throw rocks at you next week, and I wanted to be standing next to you when they did. Sam Seaborn: [sarcastically] Oh, really? Toby Ziegler: Yeah. Sam Seaborn: [ Sam is touched and seriously asks] Really? Toby Ziegler: Yeah.
	Season 4 / Episode 17: - Red Haven's on Fire Toby Ziegler: All right, I called that putt too early.
	Season 4 / Episode 16: - The California 47th Toby Ziegler: You've got twins in there. You're basically a minivan. How are you fitting into a seat? Andrea Wyatt: [turning to the women in the room] Uh-uh. I saw him first, girls.
	Season 4 / Episode 15: - Inauguration: Over There (Part 2) Will Bailey: I heard once - I don't know if this is true - I heard once that you convinced the President to let you rewrite a section of the State of the Union with less than twenty-four hours to go. It was the second year and everybody was a Republican, whether they were or not, and people at the DNC had convinced him to include the line, 'The era of big government is over.' And you couldn't live with it. Because government should be a place where people come together and no one gets left behind. An instrument of good. And that's exactly what we heard in the State of the Union the next night. Toby Ziegler: [scoffs] There were maybe four people in the room when I had that conversation. Will Bailey: Well, if I'd have been one of them, I would have repeated it to everyone I met.
	Season 4 / Episode 15: - Inauguration: Over There (Part 2) Toby Ziegler: We're not talking about the President going to Asia or the President going to Rwanda or the President going to Qumar. We're talking about the President sending other people's kids to do it. Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg: That's always what we're talking about. And in addition to being somebody's kids, they're soldiers and sailors, and if we're about freedom from tyranny, then we're about freedom from tyranny, and if we're not, we should shut up.
	Season 4 / Episode 15: - Inauguration: Over There (Part 2) Josh Lyman: I'm not talking about fighting two wars at once. I'm not talking about fighting wars. Intervening when there's violence against people who are defenseless... Toby Ziegler: Fine, but if we go here, that means they can go there. And look, there's more injustice over there. Josh Lyman: We elect these people. And not for nothing, but if we'd been the world's policeman in the thirties, you and I... Toby Ziegler: We'd have had a lot more relatives.
	Season 4 / Episode 15: - Inauguration: Over There (Part 2) Toby Ziegler: He's speaking in verse. Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg: A literary curse.
	Season 4 / Episode 15: - Inauguration: Over There (Part 2) Josh Lyman: It's good cop, bad cop. I'm the good cop. The four of you are the bad cop. Will, what are you? Will: The bad cop. Josh Lyman: Danny, what are you? Danny Concannon: The bad cop. Josh Lyman: Toby, what are you? Toby Ziegler: Hurry up. Josh Lyman: Charlie, who are you? Charlie Young: I love Zoey and I must have her back. Josh Lyman: The bad cop, that's right. Will: [to Charlie] That's great news about Zoey. I didn't meet her but I bet she's nice. Charlie Young: Not really, but my love for her knows no bounds. Danny Concannon: Charlie, aren't you cold without a coat? Charlie Young: I took off my coat to show my love for Zoey. Danny Concannon: Wow. Charlie Young: I'd take off my shirt too, but it's inappropriate with a tuxedo. Danny Concannon: Not if we were at Chippendale's.
	Season 4 / Episode 14: - Inauguration: (Part 1) Will Bailey: You and Leo McGarry and Josh are his senior counselors. And it's not like he doesn't already want to go there. Toby Ziegler: This language proposes a new doctrine for the use of force. That we use force whenever we see an injustice we want to correct. Like Mother Teresa with first strike capabilities.
	Season 4 / Episode 12: - Guns Not Butter Toby Ziegler: Threats to civil liberties only ever come a few dollars at a time.
	Season 4 / Episode 11: - Holy Night Josh Lyman: I just need to tell you this. Come here. Sorry, come here. Toby Ziegler: Josh... Josh Lyman: Come here. All right, it was desperation. It wasn't out of a desire to do evil. He had a young family and he barely spoke the language. He went to jail. He went to jail and you went to school, and it was all a half century ago. Look what he did in two generations. What room did you just walk out of? Toby Ziegler: I appreciate that that's what you think. Do I get to think what I think? Josh Lyman: No, you don't, cause you don't know what I know. Toby Ziegler: What? Josh Lyman: That I would give anything to have a living father who was a felon, or a sister with a past... That's it.
	Season 4 / Episode 11: - Holy Night Claypool: How pregnant is your ex-wife? Toby Ziegler: As I understand pregnancy, it's a binary state. You either are or you aren't.

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