Josh Lyman

The West Wing

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Played by:

Bradley Whitford
Bradley Whitford's credits in film, television and theater include work with some of the most noted ...

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Josh Lyman Quotes

	Season 7 / Episode 19: - Transition Louise Thornton: Rough day? Josh Lyman: Nuh, typical. Louise Thornton: You love it, you live for it, you were born to do it, I'm the same way. Everybody tells me to get a life, although I don't know why... I find life to be terribly overrated. It's actually quite boring when it's not disappointing. Say what you will about what we do, but boring it is not. Josh Lyman: I know that you can parlay the Santos win into a doubling of your fee. Louise Thornton: Tripling, if it figures into your memoirs. Josh Lyman: Nothing is going to top this. Everything else's going to be a letdown. Louise Thornton: Letdowns that make me semi-rich, that's a tradeoff I'm willing to endure. Josh Lyman: You don't care about money. Louise Thornton: Who doesn't? Josh Lyman: You! Louise Thornton: Not as such. Josh Lyman: As what? Louise Thornton: Scorekeeping. Quantitative evidence that I'm smarter than you. Not you. Josh Lyman: Who? Louise Thornton: Everybody else. Josh Lyman: Come on board as communications director. Louise Thornton: Thank you, but no. Josh Lyman: Finish what you started. Louise Thornton: I'm not interested in governing. Josh Lyman: Campaigning's about promise; governing's about achievement. It's, it's tougher and a lot less romantic, but it's not boring. I already think you're smarter than everyone, that's why I want you down the hall. Come on, it's not like getting a life! Louise Thornton: That's true, look at you.
	Season 7 / Episode 16: - Election Day, Part 1 Ronna: [Josh is in a hotel lobby and has just learned that some coworkers are sleeping together] You might have had an easier year of it if you had "come on board". 6 tomorrow morning right? [Ronna goes to the bar and kisses a female associate] Josh Lyman: Wow, Cindy? Did you know that? Donna Moss: About Ronna and Cindy? Josh Lyman: Any of them? Donna Moss: Yes. Josh Lyman: Which one? Donna Moss: All of them. Josh Lyman: Wow. Did you ever "come on board"? Donna Moss: [seductively] No. Josh Lyman: Never at a campaign thing? Donna Moss: No. [walks over and sits next to Josh] Josh Lyman: You want another drink? Donna Moss: No. [she stands up and walks toward the elevator. Josh picks up his drink, swallows in one sip than sets it down to follow]
	Season 6 / Episode 22: - 2162 Votes Josh Lyman: Where in the name of all that is holy is Pennsylvania?
	Season 6 / Episode 8: - In the Room Penn Jillette: What if we burned a flag, not in protest, but in celebration of the very freedoms that allow us to burn a flag - the freedoms that everyone who has ever worked in this magnificent building has pledged to preserve and protect? Josh Lyman: [taken aback] Did you go to law school? Penn Jillette: No, clown school.
	Season 6 / Episode 8: - In the Room Toby Ziegler: Did they just burn an American flag in the White House? Josh Lyman: Uh-huh.
	Season 6 / Episode 3: - Third-Day Story Josh Lyman: [Josh is looking at cakes through the glass] It's like a torture chamber designed by renegade Keebler elves.
	Season 5 / Episode 15: - Full Disclosure Josh Lyman: He's going to make the book the final word on the scandal, hold his wife's hand on 'Oprah' and catch the next flight to Iowa.
	Season 5 / Episode 13: - The Warfare of Genghis Khan Josh Lyman: Hey, you want to hear something cool? Voyager I just crossed the termination shock eight billion miles away. First human-made object to leave the solar system. Donna Moss: Funny, I'm going through a little termination shock myself. Josh Lyman: What? Donna Moss: Suddenly this consuming interest in space just because some NASA administrator batted eyes at you? Josh Lyman: You hate that I'm interested in this. Donna Moss: What was your first hint? Josh Lyman: That's perfect. Sit down. Sit. I need to play out an argument. Josh Lyman: Everyone hates us. Donna Moss: Inspiring start. Josh Lyman: We're the most dominant nation on earth. But too often the face of our economic superiority is a corporate imperialism, our technological dominance shown by Smart bombs and Predator drones. We could do something else. Something generous and uplifting for all humankind. We could send the first representatives from Earth, to walk on another planet. We could land people on Mars. Needs work. Donna Moss: Needs something. Josh Lyman: Yeah, that inspiration thing. Josh Lyman: Voyager, in case it's ever encountered by extra-terrestrials, s carrying photos of life on Earth, greetings in 55 languages and a collection of music from Gregorian chants to Chuck Berry. Including "Dark Was The Night, Cold Was The Ground" by '20s bluesman Blind Willie Johnson, whose stepmother blinded him when he was seven by throwing lye in is his eyes after his father had beat her for being with another man. He died, penniless, of pneumonia after sleeping bundled in wet newspapers in the ruins of his house that burned down. But his music just left the solar system. Donna Moss: Okay, that got me.
	Season 5 / Episode 13: - The Warfare of Genghis Khan Alex Moreau: Everything, every atom in our bodies, comes from exploding stars. I guess Joni Mitchell was right: "We are stardust." Josh Lyman: Or, put another way, nuclear waste.
	Season 5 / Episode 13: - The Warfare of Genghis Khan Leo McGarry: My generation never got the future it was promised... Thirty-five years later, cars, air travel is exactly the same. We don't even have the Concorde anymore. Technology stopped. Josh Lyman: The personal computer... Leo McGarry: A more efficient delivery system for gossip and pornography? Where's my jet pack, my colonies on the Moon?
	Season 5 / Episode 11: - The Benign Prerogative Josh Lyman: If you wanna throw light on how minimums and guidelines conspire to produce disproportionate punishments... President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: ... and worse: leave judges impotent! Our judicial system is predicated on an individual's right to a fair trial. But how individual is that process, if a 258 box grid seales your fate before you ever step foot in front of a judge, a FEDERAL judge, that my office has invested considerable effort in selecting, who is then constrained from exercising basic common sense, while twenty-nine year old prosecutors, who make their bones on their win-loss record hold the only discretion in the whole system?
	Season 5 / Episode 3: - Jefferson Lives Will Bailey: Diane Frost is a serious name. Josh Lyman: Diane is a serious loon of the left. Toby Ziegler: I love Diane Frost. I'd marry Diane Frost if I were a member of her stated sexual preference, but Diane is the definition of unelectable.
	Season 4 / Episode 23: - Twenty Five Donna Moss: Do you know how many faxes we've gotten and do you know how many of them are from your insane groupies? "The Lyman Ho's have chosen this time to let you know via fax, should you be needing any physical comfort during this horrible time..." Read that. Do you like that? Is that what turns you on, you sicky? Josh Lyman: I didn't write this. Donna Moss: Yeah, but they must sense it in you. Josh Lyman: What are the others? Donna Moss: I just picked them up. It's gonna be more thoughts and prayers, good wishes... Josh Lyman: That's nice. Donna Moss: ...and bus station skanks.
	Season 4 / Episode 19: - Angel Maintenance Josh Lyman: Stopping all bipartisan legislation is like saying 'Let's blow up the place. Maybe voters'll hire us to rebuild it.'
	Season 4 / Episode 16: - The California 47th Deborah Fiderer: Mr. President? President Josiah Bartlet: Mrs. Hottentot? Deborah Fiderer: Toby and Charlie... President Josiah Bartlet: Yeah, where are they? Deborah Fiderer: They're being held. President Josiah Bartlet: What do you mean? Deborah Fiderer: Toby and Charlie are under arrest. There was an incident at a bar. President Josiah Bartlet: They're under arrest? Deborah Fiderer: Yes sir President Josiah Bartlet: Did they rob the bar? Deborah Fiderer: No, sir. A patron was jostling Congresswoman Wyatt and Toby tried to get him to step back, and the man slipped on the floor. And then the man's friend lunged for Toby. President Josiah Bartlet: Uh-huh. And what did Charlie do? Deborah Fiderer: He hit him. Josh Lyman: Sir. President Josiah Bartlet: Toby and Charlie were arrested in a bar fight. Josh Lyman: Yes, sir, it's not going to be a problem. C.J.'s taking care of it. President Josiah Bartlet: Really? Josh Lyman: It's going to be a little bit of a problem. President Josiah Bartlet: Everytime we come to Southern California we are absolutely the Clampetts.
	Season 4 / Episode 15: - Inauguration: Over There (Part 2) Josh Lyman: I'm not talking about fighting two wars at once. I'm not talking about fighting wars. Intervening when there's violence against people who are defenseless... Toby Ziegler: Fine, but if we go here, that means they can go there. And look, there's more injustice over there. Josh Lyman: We elect these people. And not for nothing, but if we'd been the world's policeman in the thirties, you and I... Toby Ziegler: We'd have had a lot more relatives.
	Season 4 / Episode 15: - Inauguration: Over There (Part 2) Danny Concannon: Where is she? Josh Lyman: Donna? Danny Concannon: Yeah. Josh Lyman: She's sitting in her apartment in a ball gown. Danny Concannon: Waiting for a ball to come over?
	Season 4 / Episode 15: - Inauguration: Over There (Part 2) Josh Lyman: It's good cop, bad cop. I'm the good cop. The four of you are the bad cop. Will, what are you? Will: The bad cop. Josh Lyman: Danny, what are you? Danny Concannon: The bad cop. Josh Lyman: Toby, what are you? Toby Ziegler: Hurry up. Josh Lyman: Charlie, who are you? Charlie Young: I love Zoey and I must have her back. Josh Lyman: The bad cop, that's right. Will: [to Charlie] That's great news about Zoey. I didn't meet her but I bet she's nice. Charlie Young: Not really, but my love for her knows no bounds. Danny Concannon: Charlie, aren't you cold without a coat? Charlie Young: I took off my coat to show my love for Zoey. Danny Concannon: Wow. Charlie Young: I'd take off my shirt too, but it's inappropriate with a tuxedo. Danny Concannon: Not if we were at Chippendale's.
	Season 4 / Episode 15: - Inauguration: Over There (Part 2) Josh Lyman: Hey, what did I say about speaking to me without addressing me as 'Wild Thing'?
	Season 4 / Episode 11: - Holy Night Josh Lyman: I just need to tell you this. Come here. Sorry, come here. Toby Ziegler: Josh... Josh Lyman: Come here. All right, it was desperation. It wasn't out of a desire to do evil. He had a young family and he barely spoke the language. He went to jail. He went to jail and you went to school, and it was all a half century ago. Look what he did in two generations. What room did you just walk out of? Toby Ziegler: I appreciate that that's what you think. Do I get to think what I think? Josh Lyman: No, you don't, cause you don't know what I know. Toby Ziegler: What? Josh Lyman: That I would give anything to have a living father who was a felon, or a sister with a past... That's it.
	Season 4 / Episode 10: - Arctic Radar Josh Lyman: [about Navy pilot Vicky Hilton] I guess also, the thing is, that she isn't just any pilot. She's like Jackie Robinson - she's busted a lot of barriers. She's the first woman at Miramar, first woman to fly the F-14 Tomcat - she teaches on an F-14. I guess, at this point I don't have to give you her resume. Admiral Percy Fitzwallace: No, but could you tell me more about Jackie Robinson and breaking barriers?
	Season 4 / Episode 10: - Arctic Radar Donna Moss: You have to go back. Josh Lyman: Why? Donna Moss: 'Cause he's gonna think I'm flaky. Josh Lyman: Maybe, but he's not gonna care. Donna Moss: Why not? Josh Lyman: Guys'll go out with anybody.
	Season 4 / Episode 7: - Election Night Sam Seaborn: He wrote a concession speech. Josh Lyman: Of course he wrote a concession speech. Why wouldn't he? What possible reason would he have for not writing a concession speech? Sam Seaborn: The wrath from high atop the thing. Toby Ziegler: He upped and said we were gonna... Josh Lyman: No, you got to go outside, turn around three times and curse. Toby Ziegler: Spit. Josh Lyman: Spit and curse. Toby Ziegler: Do everything. Go! Josh Lyman: Go! Toby Ziegler: Go! Josh Lyman: Go! Toby Ziegler: Go! [Sam gets up and leaves the room]
	Season 4 / Episode 7: - Election Night Josh Lyman: You didn't ticket split, you voted for every Republican in Wisconsin. I would check. You may have voted for McCarthy.
	Season 4 / Episode 7: - Election Night Josh Lyman: I got it. I read it. It was good stuff. It's possible the salient details escape me.
	Season 4 / Episode 5: - Debate Camp President Josiah Bartlet: [practicing for a debate] I don't support racial profiling. Sam Seaborn: [playing the part of a debate challenger] Your nominee for Attorney General did. Can you tell us why you nominated him? President Josiah Bartlet: Why? Sam Seaborn: Yes. President Josiah Bartlet: 'Cause bite me, that's why. C.J. Cregg: It's a legitimate question. President Josiah Bartlet: It's been almost four years, Sam. How long do you want to say "I told you so?" Josh Lyman: He wasn't saying "I told you so," sir. We need an answer on Rooker. President Josiah Bartlet: What's wrong with "Bite me"? Josh Lyman: I think we'd lose. Toby Ziegler: Not in New Jersey.
	Season 4 / Episode 5: - Debate Camp Josh Lyman: You're asking me to do that which I don't want to do, right?
	Season 4 / Episode 5: - Debate Camp Josh Lyman: I should be sitting at my desk right now. Do I have a desk yet? Donna Moss: No. Josh Lyman: Okay. Then I'll just... walk around some more... see if I can get into a pick-up meeting.
	Season 4 / Episode 5: - Debate Camp Josh Lyman: Why don't you just do your job as a man and get that nice girl pregnant?
	Season 4 / Episode 1: - 20 Hours in America (1) Sam Seaborn: [on his answering machine] Hi, it's Sam. I'm sleeping for a few hours right now so you can leave a message, or if you really need me you can shout into the machine, and I'll wake up. Josh Lyman: SAM!

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