The Twilight Zone (1959) - Episode Quotes

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The Twilight Zone (1959) Quotes

	Season 5 / Episode 34: - Come Wander with Me Mary Rachel: You can't ever see me again. I'm bespoke. Floyd Burney: Bespoke? What is that supposed to mean, bespoke? You're bespoke, I'm Floyd Burney. So what?
	Season 5 / Episode 34: - Come Wander with Me Floyd Burney: Honey, anything can be bought. It's a buyer's market with a price tag on everything. All you got to know is just how to find the tag.
	Season 5 / Episode 34: - Come Wander with Me Floyd Burney: Aint no way, baby. Forget it. Not for old Floyd Burney, man. I come too far too fast to get buried out here in Sticksville.
	Season 5 / Episode 34: - Come Wander with Me Floyd Burney: So you're one of the Rayford brothers, huh? Billy Rayford: I know you. You're the singing man, aint ya? Floyd Burney: Yeah. Yeah, that's me, Floyd Burney. Yeah, I sing a little. Billy Rayford: Hear you the one that's been taking out after Mary Rachel. Floyd Burney: Mary Rachel? [acting confused] Billy Rayford: Don't lie. I seen you. Folks heard you sugar talking about taking her to Norfolk. Floyd Burney: Norfolk? What do I wanna take anybody to Norfolk for?
	Season 5 / Episode 31: - The Encounter Fenton: [Taro, intending to go, tries to open the back door of the house, but cannot] I guess you're not supposed to leave yet.
	Season 5 / Episode 31: - The Encounter Narrator: Two men in an attic, locked in mortal embrace, their common bond and their common enemy: Guilt. A disease all-too prevalent amongst men both in and out of the Twilight Zone.
	Season 5 / Episode 31: - The Encounter Taro: I grew up in Honolulu. I was at Pearl Harbor when it was bombed. Fenton: Were you one of the pilots?
	Season 5 / Episode 31: - The Encounter Taro: Banzai!
	Season 5 / Episode 31: - The Encounter Fenton: [drapes his old Army dress green over his chest, chuckles] Can you believe I used to be able to squeeze into this? Taro: [half-heartedly] Yeah, sure. Why not? Fenton: [wistfully] You're just being polite. No, I'm a rancid tub of lard now.
	Season 5 / Episode 26: - I Am the Night - Color Me Black Jagger: It's important to get with the majority, isn't it, Reverend? Reverend Anderson: The majority is all there is. The minority must have died on a cross two thousand years ago.
	Season 5 / Episode 25: - The Masks Emily Harper: [of the Mardi Gras masks he's presented them with] Father, you don't mean - we have to WEAR these ugly things...? Jason Foster: Only for a few hours. Only 'til the unmasking at midnight. Paula Harper: Well, I won't wear mine. Wilfred Harper, Jr.: Me neither; it's stupid. Wilfred Harper: Well, Father, it seems we're somewhat at odds here. Jason Foster: Not really, Wilfred. You all came here for one purpose: to watch me go and cry "Bon voyage". To put coins on my closed eyes and with your free hands start grabbing things from my shelves. Emily Harper: Father, that's cruel. Jason Foster: That's truth. You've come to reap everything I've sown, to collect everything I've built. Well, I shall not disappoint you. Everything is yours. Everything is prepared, the will isi made; the four of you inherit everything I own. Everything...money, house, property holding, stocks, bonds, everything. Wilfred Harper: Father, you're breaking our *hearts*. Jason Foster: Well, that's the most touching thing you ever dredged up by way of conversation, Wilfred...But, I must include this adenda, this small proviso: you shall wear your masks until midnight. If any one of you should take them off, from my estate you shall each receive train-fare back to Boston and *that's it*! Wilfred Harper: Well, we won't be spoilsports. If this is your pleasure, Father, we'll indulge you!
	Season 5 / Episode 25: - The Masks Jason Foster: [dying] ...It's what you've all been waiting for, I believe. Now you can dig deep in the treasury. Emily Harper: Are you feeling - weaker, Father? Jason Foster: At last...a note of hope in your voice, Emily? Emily Harper: Father, why must you always say such miserable, cruel things to me? Wilfred Harper: I quite agree, Father! Jason Foster: Why indeed, Emily, because you're cruel and miserable people! Because none of you *respond* to love. Emily responds only to what her petty hungers dictate. Wilfred responds only to things that have weight and bulk and value! He FEELS books, he doesn't read them! He APPRAISES paintings, he doesn't seek out their truth or their beauty! And Paula there lives in a mirror; the world is nothing more to her than a reflection of herself. And her brother...Humanity to him is a small animal, caught in a trap, to be tormented! His pleasure is the giving of pain, and from this he receives the same sense of fulfillment most human beings get from a kiss or an embrace! You're CARICATURES, ALL of you! Without your masks, you're CARICATURES!
	Season 5 / Episode 25: - The Masks Jason Foster: You know, Wilfred, I think the only book you ever read was a ledger. If somebody opened you up they'd probably find a cash register.
	Season 5 / Episode 25: - The Masks Paula Harper: All of New Orleans is dancing the night away while we sit here on a death watch for a crazy old man!
	Season 5 / Episode 25: - The Masks Emily Harper: I don't like being ill, father, if that's what you mean. Jason Foster: Don't you, Emily? I find that hard to believe, considering that you've been at death's door so many times in the past 25 years it's a wonder you haven't worn a hole in the mat!
	Season 5 / Episode 25: - The Masks Paula Harper: [doing her makeup in the mirror] Delighted to see you, Grandfather. Jason Foster: Well now that's touching, considering you haven't seen me. All you've seen is your reflection.
	Season 5 / Episode 24: - What's in the Box Joe Britt: Love is flowers and music in the moonlight, marriage is a floor mop and two pounds o' hamburger. Woman: Oh, I don't mind hamburger... with onions!
	Season 5 / Episode 24: - What's in the Box Joe Britt: I don't know what I ever saw in her. She ain't got no understanding. She wouldn't know sympathy if it hopped up and bit her on the backside.
	Season 5 / Episode 17: - Number Twelve Looks Just Like You Marilyn Cuberle: I want to stay ugly.
	Season 5 / Episode 17: - Number Twelve Looks Just Like You Marilyn Cuberle: I'm not ugly. I'm not pretty but I'm not ugly. Dr. Rex: [laughs] But to other people, you are!
	Season 5 / Episode 17: - Number Twelve Looks Just Like You Marilyn Cuberle: Being like everybody is the same as being nobody.
	Season 5 / Episode 17: - Number Twelve Looks Just Like You Narrator: Given the chance, what young girl wouldn't happily exchange a plain face for a lovely one? What girl could refuse the opportunity to be beautiful? For want of a better estimate, let's call it the year 2000. At any rate, imagine a time in the future where science has developed a means of giving everyone the face and body he dreams of. It may not happen tomorrow, but it happens now in the Twilight Zone.
	Season 5 / Episode 17: - Number Twelve Looks Just Like You Narrator: Portrait of a young lady in love, with herself. Improbable? Perhaps. But in an age of plastic surgery, body building and an infinity of cosmetics, let us hesitate to say impossible. These and other strange blessings may be waiting in the future, which after all, is the Twilight Zone.
	Season 5 / Episode 16: - The Self-Improvement of Salvadore Ross Salvadore Ross: Well, are you happy now that you've convinced her she's too much for a *bum* like Salvadore Ross, hmm? Mr. Maitland: I'll admit, I wouldn't choose you for my daughter. But it's not my decision, it's hers. Besides, I may be wrong about you. She obviously sees you differently than I do. Leah Maitland: No I don't. [turns to Sal] Not anymore. [Leah goes in with her father and closes the door] Salvadore Ross: Why can't I want something in my life and get it? [punches the door] Salvadore Ross: Just once.
	Season 5 / Episode 16: - The Self-Improvement of Salvadore Ross Leah Maitland: We can't keep seeing each other. I should never have let it gotten so that it was this way. Salvadore Ross: Sure. As long as you're the saintly social worker and I'm one of the crumbs, everything's all right. But as soon as we get too close, why then you notice I got dirt on my hands. Leah Maitland: That has nothing to do with it. Salvadore Ross: And that I don't talk like your old man. Leah Maitland: Sal, we're just two people who are never going to understand each other. Salvadore Ross: Baby, with your education, you can come up with a better Dear John than that.
	Season 5 / Episode 16: - The Self-Improvement of Salvadore Ross Salvadore Ross: [grabs Leah] Listen, I ain’t always gonna have dirt on my hands. And I don't need no books to show me which way is up. I got the map and I'll get there.
	Season 5 / Episode 16: - The Self-Improvement of Salvadore Ross Narrator: Confidential personnel file on Salvadore Ross. Personality: a volatile mixture of fury and frustration. Distinguishing physical characteristic: a badly-broken hand which will require emergency treatment at the nearest hospital. Ambition: shows great determination toward self-improvement. Estimate of potential success: a sure bet for a listing in Who's Who - in the Twilight Zone.
	Season 5 / Episode 16: - The Self-Improvement of Salvadore Ross Old Man: [lying in the next hospital bed] You do something to your hand? Salvadore Ross: No. I came here for a good night's sleep. The Waldorf was gettin' on my nerves. Old Man: I bet it hurts. Salvadore Ross: Yeah, it hurts. Old Man: You're still lucky though. Salvadore Ross: My luck wins prizes. Old Man: [coughing] No, I mean, I've got this awful congestion in my chest. Salvadore Ross: Are you grippin' about a cold? Old Man: At your age, it just might be a cold. But at mine, it could easily turn into pneumonia. You know young man, you could break both legs and an elbow and you'd still be swimming inside of a month. Salvadore Ross: Yeah, well if you think this is so great, well let's swap. You take my busted hand and I'll take your lousy cold. Old Man: [laughs and then begins to cough again] It's a deal.
	Season 5 / Episode 16: - The Self-Improvement of Salvadore Ross Mr. Halpert: Well, where is it? Salvadore Ross: What? Mr. Halpert: This wonderful item that I'm supposed to purchase. Salvadore Ross: Well you're lookin' at it. Mr. Halpert: I'm looking at it? Salvadore Ross: Yeah, it's... it's youth. That's what I wanna sell you. Mr. Halpert: Youth that comes in bottles? [pushing him out] Come on, get out of here. Salvadore Ross: Wait a minute, wait a minute. Look, I read in the paper that you're 72 years old, right? I'm 26. Now what would you give to be 26 years old again, hmm? Mr. Halpert: I think you're the kookiest kid they ever turned loose on the street.
	Season 5 / Episode 16: - The Self-Improvement of Salvadore Ross Salvadore Ross: How much would you give to be 26 years old again? How much? Salvadore Ross: Well come on, how much? A million bucks? Mr. Halpert: [a little amused] All right, let's say a million dollars. Salvadore Ross: What about this pad? Do you own it? Mr. Halpert: Yes, I own it. Salvadore Ross: Do you throw that in as part of the deal? Mr. Halpert: How do you propose to deliver these years you rave about? Salvadore Ross: I'm gonna sell you *my* years. Mr. Halpert: [laughs out loud] All right, I'll tell you what you do. You wrap the years up and mail them to me, uh. Salvadore Ross: But now wait a minute, what about the pad? Is that gonna be part of the deal? Mr. Halpert: Yes, I'll make it part of the deal. I wouldn't think of taking your years for anything less than they're worth. Salvadore Ross: [excited] Oh man, a million bucks and this pad. You just bought yourself 46 years, Mr. Halpert. Mr. Halpert: I'm sure I did, boy. Salvadore Ross: No, you're not sure. But you got a big surprise in store. Mr. Halpert: [laughing out loud] Get out of here.