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The Surreal Life tv show

The Surreal Life

- Episode Quotes

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The Surreal Life Quotes

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Bronson Pinchot: Reminds me of a cheap carnival where everybody's gone home and somehow our moms forgot to pick us up.
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Flavor Flav: Flavor Flav!
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Dave Coulier: [on meeting his housemates] I had to learn two new languages that day - Charo and Flavor Flav!
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Charo: [trying to get out of Flava Flav's arms in bed] Uh-uh, no spooning. Because spooning leads to forking.
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Da Brat: I'm thinkin' I'm in the Twilight Zone.
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Dave Coulier: We live in a circus.
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Charo: The first impression I get when I walk into this house is Liberace with diarrhea, 1940.
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Charo: [on meeting Flavor Flav] The first few minutes, I didn't put it together that it was Flavor Flake.
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Ryan Starr: It's not like you're ugly or anything.
Jordan Knight: [sarcastically] Oh, thanks for tellin' me I ain't ugly.
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Flavor Flav: Let me hear ya'll say 'Yeeeeeeaaaaaah, booooooyyyyyeeeee'!
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Charo: [about Ryan Starr] She didn't want to sleep with Brigitte Nielsen because she's a crazy bitch.
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Charo: [about Flavor Flav] I am psychic, and whatever he's telling me, I know he's full of sh*t.
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Flavor Flav: What are you doing, breast feeding the dog?
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Charo: I'm walking around and I see Brigitte Neilsen with her big tits hanging around. [Screams] Oh my God. I hope she doesn't think this is a surreal porno.
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Flavor Flav: You can go and sneak up on Brigitte cause she be having the knockers laying down on her chest, kid. For real. [Looks through binoculars] Uh oh, Brigitte, I see you, G.
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Charo: Charo: [about her first conversation with Flavor Flav] I'm psychic. So, I know whatever he's telling, he's full of shit.
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Charo: [the cast has just learned they will be assisting parapsychologist Dr. Larry Montz in determining if an abandoned mental hospital is haunted] People alive don't understand me. How in the world a ghost is going to understand me?
Dr. Larry Montz: Because they communicate more telepathically than verbally, so they're not going to be worried about your accent.
Charo: Oh. [Laughs nervously]
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Charo: [while standing in an elevator shaft where a patient was allegedly crushed to death] I hear the guy, okay? I'm sorry for him, but I want... I... I want to be alive.
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Charo: [On being separated from Jordan to go investigate the electroshock therapy room] If you leave me here alone that's the end of my... of me. I'm a chicken, Doctor. I have a big mouth that's all it is, but I'm a chicken.
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Charo: [after seeing the electric chair in the electroshock therapy room] I was terrified to see the electric chair. You know why? Think about it! How many people been electrified in this chair. It's not a toy. It's the chair that alot of people have been sit down there, close their eyes and get roasted.
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M.C. Hammer: Even if I did have the worst upset stomach, it would have been done in 5 minutes. I'm a professional.
Corey Feldman: Your a professional crapper?
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Jordan Knight: This is just woman drama.
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Dave Coulier: Brigitte is marching to the tune of her own drum, and that drummer has no clothes on.
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Dave Coulier: So Flav is planning on driving today.
Charo: Do you have a life insurance?
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Ryan Starr: [crying, whining] This is American Idol all over again!
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Brigitte Nielsen: [after looking at Flavor Flav's gold teeth] That is ridiculous.
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Adrianne Curry: I think it's time for us to get naked!
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Verne Troyer: [after seeing Adrianne naked, under sushi] I thought... wow... Jesus... this is heaven.
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Adrianne Curry: [sees Verne really weird] Verne... Verne... I'm gonna leave water here.
Verne Troyer: [moans] Okay. [moans again]
Adrianne Curry: That was pretty uncomfortable... it was kind of... orgasmic moaning.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Jane Wiedlin: [Chyna Doll says she's leaving] Are you on crack? You can't leave!


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