The Sopranos Quotes

The Sopranos

- Episode Quotes

Fun Facts:

	Season 6 / Episode 21: - Made in America Tony Soprano: You don't know who I am, do ya?... You remember Johnny? Johnny Boy, your kid brother?... This thing of ours? Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: I was involved in that? Tony Soprano: Yeah. You and my Dad. You two ran North Jersey. Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: We did? Tony Soprano: Yeah. Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: Hm. Well, that's nice.
	Season 6 / Episode 21: - Made in America Tony Soprano: [after Rhiannon leaves] Wouldn't kick her outta bed for purgin' cookies.
	Season 6 / Episode 21: - Made in America Patrick Parisi: [to Paulie] Ay, we were discussing Dreamgirls. You see it? Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: You people are fucked. You're living in a dream. And you still sit here talking about the fucking Oscars? "What rough beast slouches toward Bethlehem to be born?" Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Huh? Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: Yeets. Meadow Soprano: A.J... Anthony Maffei: Yeats? Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: The world... Don't you see it? I mean, Bush let Al-Qaeda escape... Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Oh! Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: ...in the mountains? Then he has us invade some other country? Jason Gervasi: Let's join up, go kill some fuckin' terrorists. Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: It's more noble than watching these jack-off fantasies on TV of how we're kickin' their ass!
	Season 6 / Episode 21: - Made in America Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: "In the midst of death, we are in life", huh? Or is it the other way around? Meadow Soprano: I think it's the other way around. Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Either version, you're halfway up the ass.
	Season 6 / Episode 21: - Made in America Butch DeConcini: But I know you're disappointed, Phil. I can hear it in everything you're sayin'. Phil Leotardo: Fuckin' A, I'm disappointed! Butch DeConcini: I'm thinking... I dunno... Maybe... Phil Leotardo: What? You're talkin' about reachin' out? We can't go back! Are you outta your fuckin' mind? Butch DeConcini: No, I know. Phil Leotardo: Then what'd you say it for? Butch DeConcini: I didn't, Phil, you did. Phil Leotardo: Listen, kid. When this is over, we're gonna sit down, me and you. Butch DeConcini: I hope so. Phil Leotardo: [rolls eyes] I can't hear ya, you're breakin' up. Butch DeConcini: I said I hope... [Phil hangs up]
	Season 6 / Episode 21: - Made in America Walden Belfiore: He was at the safe house. We brought him over. Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Get him the fuck out. These are snakes with fur. The old Italians'll tell ya, you can't even put 'em around a baby. They suck the breath right out. Benny Fazio: Well, you're the only baby here, so we're ahead of the game. Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Ya wanna be wearin' his fuckin' pelt on ya head?
	Season 6 / Episode 21: - Made in America Janice Soprano: Uncle Jun, I'm afraid I have bad news... Bobby's dead. Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: Ambassador Hotel.
	Season 6 / Episode 21: - Made in America Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: I'm no spring chicken no more. I don't wanna have me dyin' on you and leavin' ya worse off than before. Tony Soprano: Oh, you with the dead thing! Ya got the arms and upper body of a 20-year-old. Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: I gotta work at that. And I had the prostate. Tony Soprano: Alright, sure. Go ahead. I'm a little miffled but yeah, sit with it.
	Season 6 / Episode 21: - Made in America Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Tone, I never told this to another livin' soul but... Tony Soprano: Yeah? Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: One time at the Bing, I was alone to meet Eddie Lind. I saw the Virgin Mary. Tony Soprano: Why didn't you say somethin'? Fuck strippers, we coulda had a shrine. Sold holy water in gallon jugs. Coulda made millions.
	Season 6 / Episode 21: - Made in America Tony Soprano: You said you wanted to be a lawyer for black people. Meadow Soprano: Oh, that's all I said? Really? What I said was "The state can crush the individual." Tony Soprano: New Jersey? Meadow Soprano: The government. Specifically, the federal government. Tony Soprano: And what about little babies? They face, uh, meningitis. Meadow Soprano: You know what really turned me? Seeing the way Italians are treated. It's like Mom says. And if we can have our rights trampled like that, imagine what it's like for recent arrivals. Tony Soprano: Well... Meadow Soprano: If I hadn't seen you dragged away all those times by the FBI, then I'd probably be a boring suburban doctor.
	Season 6 / Episode 21: - Made in America Agent Dwight Harris: Damn! We're gonna win this thing!
	Season 6 / Episode 21: - Made in America Carmela Soprano: [about A.J] Oh, I didn't tell you. He spent on a set of CDs that teach Arabic. Tony Soprano: Jesus Christ, c'mon! Shish-kabob. What else do ya need to know?
	Season 6 / Episode 21: - Made in America Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: Focus on the good times. Tony Soprano: Don't be sarcastic. Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: Isn't that what you said one time? Try to remember the times that were good? Tony Soprano: I did? Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: Yeah. Tony Soprano: Well, it's true, I guess. Tony Soprano: I ordered something for the table.
	Season 6 / Episode 20: - The Blue Comet Phil Leotardo: Historically, Carmine always said the Sopranos are nothing more than a glorified crew. Plain and simple. We decapitate and we do business with whatever's left. [to Albie] What? Albie Cianflone: Nothin'. I agree in spirit but I gotta counsel. Phil Leotardo: This thing shoulda been done during John's era. Butch DeConcini: They got redundant upper management, bleeds off half the kick. We take 'em out, absorb the whole fuckin' thing. Albie Cianflone: Take out an entire fuckin' family? Phil Leotardo: Let me tell ya a couple of three things: Forget Coco, forget Fat Dom who goes over to Jersey and never comes back, forget my brother Billy. Albie Cianflone: Phil, Phil, that's not what I'm sayin' at all. Phil Leotardo: Anthony Soprano has no respect for this thing. He's never been in the can, not really. Here's a guy who stepped over his own uncle to grab the big seat, his father's brother. Albie Cianflone: Please, huh? Phil Leotardo: I'm embarrassed. I let him come to the hospital last Christmas, and I took his fat, fuckin' hand in friendship. Albie Cianflone: Philly, ya had a heart attack. Phil Leotardo: Listen to me. They make anybody and everybody over there. And the way that they do it, it's all fucked up. Guys don't get their finger pricked. There's no sword and gun on the table... Albie Cianflone: Phil... Phil Leotardo: No, Alb, either it has meaning or no meaning. And the Vito thing, the man harbors a faggot. Albie Cianflone: It's true. Phil Leotardo: Five fuckin' Families and we got this other pygmy thing over in Jersey... There's no scraps in my scrapbook... Make it happen.
	Season 6 / Episode 20: - The Blue Comet Dr. Jennifer Melfi: That Departures magazine out there. Did you give any thought at all to someone else who might wanna read before you tore out the entire page? Tony Soprano: What? Dr. Jennifer Melfi: It's not the first time you've defaced my reading materials. Tony Soprano: You saw that, huh? People tear shit outta your magazines all the time, they're a mess. I try to read 'em. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I don't think I can help you. Tony Soprano: Well, change 'em. Bring in some new shit. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I mean therapeutically. Tony Soprano: What are you talkin' about? I've only missed three appointments since we had that heart-to-heart. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: The new big thing these days is called psychodynamic therapy combined with Anafranil. Tony Soprano: Who? Dr. Jennifer Melfi: A medication. There's a doctor in Bloomfield you could see. Tony Soprano: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, OK? Now what the fuck is this? You're, uh, firin' me 'cause I defaced your Departures magazine. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I'm giving you my considered medical opinion. Tony Soprano: OK, I should've asked you for the steak recipe. And missin' sessions, unfortunately, is part of my condition. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: What do you know about your condition? You miss appointments because you don't give a shit. About commitments, about what I do, about the body of work that's gone into building up this science!... Go ahead, tell me again I sound like your wife. Tony Soprano: Well, if the shoe fits. [Dr. Melfi stands up] We're making progress! It's been seven years! Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Do you want some names? Tony Soprano: [stands up] OK, listen, I'm gonna tell you somethin' and you're not gonna like it. But we can say anything in here, right? Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Go ahead! Tony Soprano: I'm chalkin' this all up to female menopausal situations. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: You're not my gynecologist. Tony Soprano: Well, you don't need a gynecologist to know which way the wind blows. [Dr. Melfi opens the door] So, wait a minute. You tellin' me after all this time, after everything we've shared in here, you're cuttin' me loose just as my son got outta the hospital for tryin' to kill himself? Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Since you are in crisis, I don't wanna waste your time. Tony Soprano: You know, I gotta be fuckin' honest. As a doctor, I think what you're doin' is immoral.
	Season 6 / Episode 19: - The Second Coming Restaurant kitchen staff: [after Tony curb stomps Coco, in Spanish] Get a mop.
	Season 6 / Episode 19: - The Second Coming Anthony Soprano, Jr.: I was watching CNN. This story about these kids in some Iraqi hospital. How the burn unit doesn't have the right medicine or something. And then they show this story about some mall in Minnesota and these gigantic, fat people buying stuff and eating all this shit. You know, it's like my parents. You should see our house, this stupid coffee maker they got, media room. You know, then there's Blanca. Her kid hardly talks. She can't afford to send him to a decent school. Dr. Richard Vogel: You think your feelings about Blanca in any way relate to this African boy? Anthony Soprano, Jr.: She's not black!... I mean... she's pretty tan.
	Season 6 / Episode 19: - The Second Coming Tony Soprano: Talk about a trip. I met this girl, fuckin' beautiful. We did peyote. Silvio Dante: Come on! Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: Really? Carlo Gervasi: Bobby did mushrooms once. Stuffed mushrooms, a whole fuckin' platter.
	Season 6 / Episode 19: - The Second Coming Paulie Walnuts: I got dosed with acid once, back in '68. [to Tony] I was with your dad and them at the Copa. Fuckin' BOAC stewardess put it in my drink. Jerry Vale's singin' and I look over. Your Uncle Jun's got laser beams shootin' out his eyes!
	Season 6 / Episode 19: - The Second Coming Tony Soprano: When you were sick in the hospital, we talked. We shared a, uh... an understanding about life. Phil Leotardo: This is business, Anthony. Tony Soprano: Yeah, I know. But I'm talkin' to you here on a human level. There's a limit, Phil. C'mon. A point where business bleeds into other shit. Feelings make things financially unfeasible. Phil Leotardo: [chuckles] Charles Schwab, over here. Tony Soprano: So that's it. No leeway, no compromise, just stupid fuckin' jokes. Phil Leotardo: You want compromise, how's this? Twenty years in the can I wanted manicott', but I compromised. I ate grilled cheese off the radiator instead. I wanted to fuck a woman, but I compromised. I jacked off into a tissue. You see where I'm goin'?
	Season 6 / Episode 19: - The Second Coming Little Carmine Lupertazzi: So, the reason I'm here you could probably guess. Tony Soprano: What happened at Coco's restaurant. Little Carmine Lupertazzi: This alteration you had with him. You're at the precipice, Tony, of an enormous crossroad.
	Season 6 / Episode 19: - The Second Coming Tony Soprano: This is gonna sound stupid, but I saw at one point that our mothers are... bus drivers. No, they are the bus. See, they're the vehicle that gets us here. They drop us off and go on their way. They continue on their journey. And the problem is that we keep tryin' to get back on the bus, instead of just lettin' it go.
	Season 6 / Episode 19: - The Second Coming Phil Leotardo: [to Tony, from his window] That's right, cocksucker! Go back to New Jersey! Little Carmine Lupertazzi: Phil, what are you doin'? Phil Leotardo: Take that piece of shit and get off my stoop! Little Carmine Lupertazzi: But we just talked about this. Phil Leotardo: Well, cooler heads prevailed. Little Carmine Lupertazzi: Uncle Philly! Phil Leotardo: Uncle Philly, my ass!
	Season 6 / Episode 19: - The Second Coming Tony Soprano: I'm depressed. Carmela Soprano: I'm telling you. Don't you start now. Tony Soprano: What does that mean? Carmela Soprano: It means what it means. I have enough on my plate, I don't need you adding to it with your bullshit. Tony Soprano: Bullshit? It's an illness and it's fuckin' hereditary. Carmela Soprano: Thank you, I know. I am intimately acquainted with the Soprano curse. Your father, your uncle, your great-grandfather who drove the donkey cart off the road in Avellino, all of it. Tony Soprano: Oh, you think it's a joke? Carmela Soprano: Am I laughing? Tony Soprano: Well, then what are you sayin'? Carmela Soprano: He didn't get it from my family. That's all I'm gonna say. Tony Soprano: Your family don't even talk. Your father's so bottled up it's a wonder he's even got a stomach left. Carmela Soprano: Yeah, as opposed to yours. Tony Soprano: At least my father was out front about what was botherin' him. Carmela Soprano: Right, with a bullet through your mother's beehive hairdo.
	Season 6 / Episode 19: - The Second Coming Anthony Soprano, Jr.: [to Carmela] You know, it's always what you think, isn't it? It's never how I feel. Tony Soprano: Oh, poor you. It's all your mother fault, isn't it? Anthony Soprano, Jr.: I didn't say that. Tony Soprano: You're a mama's boy.
	Season 6 / Episode 19: - The Second Coming Salvatore 'Coco' Cogliano: [after Tony discovers the affront Coco made to Meadow he walks towards him who is talking to a waiter, with a gun] Some peppers and cheese, gorgonzola. Alright? Don't Forget Butch DeConcini: [Tony starts to beat Coco to a pulp] WHOA! WHOA! Tony Soprano: [training his gun at Butch] Sit down! SIT DOWN! Butch DeConcini: [sits down] Easy, easy! Tony Soprano: You motherfucker! My fuckin' daughter [beating Coco] My fuckin' daughter. MOTHERFUCKER! MY FUCKIN' DAUGHTER! [puts his gun in Coco's mouth] You want some Sambuca with this? Butch DeConcini: Tony! You're makin' a big fuckin' mistake here! Tony Soprano: [aiming at Butch again] How about I put a bullet in your fuckin' head huh? [pulls Coco and puts his mouth on the fireplace] Salvatore 'Coco' Cogliano: Don't do it! [Tony curb stomps Coco, making him lose some teeth as Butch looks away] Tony Soprano: [threatening Butch] Want some?
	Season 6 / Episode 18: - Kennedy and Heidi Christopher Moltisanti: Frankly, Tone, I'm thinking maybe we should meet Phil's number. Tony Soprano: Why? I think that would set a terrible precedent right now. Just bend over? When he just became boss of the family over there? Christopher Moltisanti: Yeah, well, that's the flying ointment. Even still, I say let him have it. Life's too short. Tony Soprano: It's also too short to live it as a fuckin' lackey. Christopher Moltisanti: True, too.
	Season 6 / Episode 18: - Kennedy and Heidi Christopher Moltisanti: Well, regarding Phil, I gotta ask. Whatever happened to "stop and smell the roses"? Tony Soprano: You're right, you're right. You can't fight every fucking battle, right? Asbestos. [laughs] Each day's a gift. Christopher Moltisanti: Every time I look at my kid, that's what I realize. Tony Soprano: And that shit with Junior? Please. It's just that people like Phil, they're not on that page. They'll take those roses and stick 'em up your ass, thorns first.
	Season 6 / Episode 18: - Kennedy and Heidi Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: I know I had my differences with that kid, but maybe I didn't do right by him, neither. If you were his dad, I was his Dutch uncle. And what the fuck did I do but get pissed off? Fight with him over cocksuckin', fuckin' money? And break his balls when he tried not to have a drink or a little taste of snow.
	Season 6 / Episode 18: - Kennedy and Heidi Tony Soprano: You know what? This is bullshit. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: What? Tony Soprano: I haven't been able to tell anybody this. I'm fuckin' relieved. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Really? Tony Soprano: He was a tremendous drag on my emotions and my thoughts about the future. I mean, to begin with, every morning I wake up thinkin' is this the day that one of my best friends is gonna dime me to the FBI? And a weak, fuckin' snivellin', lyin' drug addict? That's the worst kind of bet. The biggest blunder of my career is now gone. And I don't have to be confronted by that fact no more. And as a relative, a friend, someone you can count on? [flicks his hand under his chin] Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I see. Tony Soprano: Let me tell you somethin'. I murdered friends before, even relatives. My cousin Tony, my best friend Puss... But this?

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