Tony Soprano

The Sopranos

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James Gandolfini
New Jersey-born James Gandolfini began acting in the New York theater. His Broadway debut was in the ...

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Tony Soprano Quotes

	Season 6 / Episode 21: - Made in America Tony Soprano: You don't know who I am, do ya?... You remember Johnny? Johnny Boy, your kid brother?... This thing of ours? Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: I was involved in that? Tony Soprano: Yeah. You and my Dad. You two ran North Jersey. Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: We did? Tony Soprano: Yeah. Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: Hm. Well, that's nice.
	Season 6 / Episode 21: - Made in America Tony Soprano: [after Rhiannon leaves] Wouldn't kick her outta bed for purgin' cookies.
	Season 6 / Episode 21: - Made in America Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: I'm no spring chicken no more. I don't wanna have me dyin' on you and leavin' ya worse off than before. Tony Soprano: Oh, you with the dead thing! Ya got the arms and upper body of a 20-year-old. Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: I gotta work at that. And I had the prostate. Tony Soprano: Alright, sure. Go ahead. I'm a little miffled but yeah, sit with it.
	Season 6 / Episode 21: - Made in America Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Tone, I never told this to another livin' soul but... Tony Soprano: Yeah? Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: One time at the Bing, I was alone to meet Eddie Lind. I saw the Virgin Mary. Tony Soprano: Why didn't you say somethin'? Fuck strippers, we coulda had a shrine. Sold holy water in gallon jugs. Coulda made millions.
	Season 6 / Episode 21: - Made in America Tony Soprano: You said you wanted to be a lawyer for black people. Meadow Soprano: Oh, that's all I said? Really? What I said was "The state can crush the individual." Tony Soprano: New Jersey? Meadow Soprano: The government. Specifically, the federal government. Tony Soprano: And what about little babies? They face, uh, meningitis. Meadow Soprano: You know what really turned me? Seeing the way Italians are treated. It's like Mom says. And if we can have our rights trampled like that, imagine what it's like for recent arrivals. Tony Soprano: Well... Meadow Soprano: If I hadn't seen you dragged away all those times by the FBI, then I'd probably be a boring suburban doctor.
	Season 6 / Episode 21: - Made in America Carmela Soprano: [about A.J] Oh, I didn't tell you. He spent on a set of CDs that teach Arabic. Tony Soprano: Jesus Christ, c'mon! Shish-kabob. What else do ya need to know?
	Season 6 / Episode 21: - Made in America Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: Focus on the good times. Tony Soprano: Don't be sarcastic. Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: Isn't that what you said one time? Try to remember the times that were good? Tony Soprano: I did? Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: Yeah. Tony Soprano: Well, it's true, I guess. Tony Soprano: I ordered something for the table.
	Season 6 / Episode 20: - The Blue Comet Dr. Jennifer Melfi: That Departures magazine out there. Did you give any thought at all to someone else who might wanna read before you tore out the entire page? Tony Soprano: What? Dr. Jennifer Melfi: It's not the first time you've defaced my reading materials. Tony Soprano: You saw that, huh? People tear shit outta your magazines all the time, they're a mess. I try to read 'em. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I don't think I can help you. Tony Soprano: Well, change 'em. Bring in some new shit. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I mean therapeutically. Tony Soprano: What are you talkin' about? I've only missed three appointments since we had that heart-to-heart. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: The new big thing these days is called psychodynamic therapy combined with Anafranil. Tony Soprano: Who? Dr. Jennifer Melfi: A medication. There's a doctor in Bloomfield you could see. Tony Soprano: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, OK? Now what the fuck is this? You're, uh, firin' me 'cause I defaced your Departures magazine. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I'm giving you my considered medical opinion. Tony Soprano: OK, I should've asked you for the steak recipe. And missin' sessions, unfortunately, is part of my condition. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: What do you know about your condition? You miss appointments because you don't give a shit. About commitments, about what I do, about the body of work that's gone into building up this science!... Go ahead, tell me again I sound like your wife. Tony Soprano: Well, if the shoe fits. [Dr. Melfi stands up] We're making progress! It's been seven years! Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Do you want some names? Tony Soprano: [stands up] OK, listen, I'm gonna tell you somethin' and you're not gonna like it. But we can say anything in here, right? Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Go ahead! Tony Soprano: I'm chalkin' this all up to female menopausal situations. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: You're not my gynecologist. Tony Soprano: Well, you don't need a gynecologist to know which way the wind blows. [Dr. Melfi opens the door] So, wait a minute. You tellin' me after all this time, after everything we've shared in here, you're cuttin' me loose just as my son got outta the hospital for tryin' to kill himself? Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Since you are in crisis, I don't wanna waste your time. Tony Soprano: You know, I gotta be fuckin' honest. As a doctor, I think what you're doin' is immoral.
	Season 6 / Episode 19: - The Second Coming Tony Soprano: Talk about a trip. I met this girl, fuckin' beautiful. We did peyote. Silvio Dante: Come on! Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: Really? Carlo Gervasi: Bobby did mushrooms once. Stuffed mushrooms, a whole fuckin' platter.
	Season 6 / Episode 19: - The Second Coming Tony Soprano: When you were sick in the hospital, we talked. We shared a, uh... an understanding about life. Phil Leotardo: This is business, Anthony. Tony Soprano: Yeah, I know. But I'm talkin' to you here on a human level. There's a limit, Phil. C'mon. A point where business bleeds into other shit. Feelings make things financially unfeasible. Phil Leotardo: [chuckles] Charles Schwab, over here. Tony Soprano: So that's it. No leeway, no compromise, just stupid fuckin' jokes. Phil Leotardo: You want compromise, how's this? Twenty years in the can I wanted manicott', but I compromised. I ate grilled cheese off the radiator instead. I wanted to fuck a woman, but I compromised. I jacked off into a tissue. You see where I'm goin'?
	Season 6 / Episode 19: - The Second Coming Little Carmine Lupertazzi: So, the reason I'm here you could probably guess. Tony Soprano: What happened at Coco's restaurant. Little Carmine Lupertazzi: This alteration you had with him. You're at the precipice, Tony, of an enormous crossroad.
	Season 6 / Episode 19: - The Second Coming Tony Soprano: This is gonna sound stupid, but I saw at one point that our mothers are... bus drivers. No, they are the bus. See, they're the vehicle that gets us here. They drop us off and go on their way. They continue on their journey. And the problem is that we keep tryin' to get back on the bus, instead of just lettin' it go.
	Season 6 / Episode 19: - The Second Coming Tony Soprano: I'm depressed. Carmela Soprano: I'm telling you. Don't you start now. Tony Soprano: What does that mean? Carmela Soprano: It means what it means. I have enough on my plate, I don't need you adding to it with your bullshit. Tony Soprano: Bullshit? It's an illness and it's fuckin' hereditary. Carmela Soprano: Thank you, I know. I am intimately acquainted with the Soprano curse. Your father, your uncle, your great-grandfather who drove the donkey cart off the road in Avellino, all of it. Tony Soprano: Oh, you think it's a joke? Carmela Soprano: Am I laughing? Tony Soprano: Well, then what are you sayin'? Carmela Soprano: He didn't get it from my family. That's all I'm gonna say. Tony Soprano: Your family don't even talk. Your father's so bottled up it's a wonder he's even got a stomach left. Carmela Soprano: Yeah, as opposed to yours. Tony Soprano: At least my father was out front about what was botherin' him. Carmela Soprano: Right, with a bullet through your mother's beehive hairdo.
	Season 6 / Episode 19: - The Second Coming Anthony Soprano, Jr.: [to Carmela] You know, it's always what you think, isn't it? It's never how I feel. Tony Soprano: Oh, poor you. It's all your mother fault, isn't it? Anthony Soprano, Jr.: I didn't say that. Tony Soprano: You're a mama's boy.
	Season 6 / Episode 19: - The Second Coming Salvatore 'Coco' Cogliano: [after Tony discovers the affront Coco made to Meadow he walks towards him who is talking to a waiter, with a gun] Some peppers and cheese, gorgonzola. Alright? Don't Forget Butch DeConcini: [Tony starts to beat Coco to a pulp] WHOA! WHOA! Tony Soprano: [training his gun at Butch] Sit down! SIT DOWN! Butch DeConcini: [sits down] Easy, easy! Tony Soprano: You motherfucker! My fuckin' daughter [beating Coco] My fuckin' daughter. MOTHERFUCKER! MY FUCKIN' DAUGHTER! [puts his gun in Coco's mouth] You want some Sambuca with this? Butch DeConcini: Tony! You're makin' a big fuckin' mistake here! Tony Soprano: [aiming at Butch again] How about I put a bullet in your fuckin' head huh? [pulls Coco and puts his mouth on the fireplace] Salvatore 'Coco' Cogliano: Don't do it! [Tony curb stomps Coco, making him lose some teeth as Butch looks away] Tony Soprano: [threatening Butch] Want some?
	Season 6 / Episode 18: - Kennedy and Heidi Christopher Moltisanti: Frankly, Tone, I'm thinking maybe we should meet Phil's number. Tony Soprano: Why? I think that would set a terrible precedent right now. Just bend over? When he just became boss of the family over there? Christopher Moltisanti: Yeah, well, that's the flying ointment. Even still, I say let him have it. Life's too short. Tony Soprano: It's also too short to live it as a fuckin' lackey. Christopher Moltisanti: True, too.
	Season 6 / Episode 18: - Kennedy and Heidi Christopher Moltisanti: Well, regarding Phil, I gotta ask. Whatever happened to "stop and smell the roses"? Tony Soprano: You're right, you're right. You can't fight every fucking battle, right? Asbestos. [laughs] Each day's a gift. Christopher Moltisanti: Every time I look at my kid, that's what I realize. Tony Soprano: And that shit with Junior? Please. It's just that people like Phil, they're not on that page. They'll take those roses and stick 'em up your ass, thorns first.
	Season 6 / Episode 18: - Kennedy and Heidi Tony Soprano: You know what? This is bullshit. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: What? Tony Soprano: I haven't been able to tell anybody this. I'm fuckin' relieved. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Really? Tony Soprano: He was a tremendous drag on my emotions and my thoughts about the future. I mean, to begin with, every morning I wake up thinkin' is this the day that one of my best friends is gonna dime me to the FBI? And a weak, fuckin' snivellin', lyin' drug addict? That's the worst kind of bet. The biggest blunder of my career is now gone. And I don't have to be confronted by that fact no more. And as a relative, a friend, someone you can count on? [flicks his hand under his chin] Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I see. Tony Soprano: Let me tell you somethin'. I murdered friends before, even relatives. My cousin Tony, my best friend Puss... But this?
	Season 6 / Episode 18: - Kennedy and Heidi Dr. Jennifer Melfi: How are you doing, Anthony? Tony Soprano: There have been some hard moments. But a weak, lyin' drug addict who fantasized about my downfall, who showed people his filthy thoughts on a movie screen? Let me tell you somethin'. I've seen friends die before. Accidents, even murder. My cousin Tony, they shot his face away. And I was fuckin' prostate with grief... But this?
	Season 6 / Episode 18: - Kennedy and Heidi Tony Soprano: Fuckin' James Brown now.
	Season 6 / Episode 18: - Kennedy and Heidi Tony Soprano: [stares at the desert sun] I get it. I get it!
	Season 6 / Episode 17: - Walk Like a Man Carmela Soprano: It's better to have loved than lost, A.J. It's better to have loved and lost, A.J. Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano Jr.: [incredulous] What? Tony Soprano: It is.
	Season 6 / Episode 17: - Walk Like a Man Tony Soprano: [sees Chris barbecuing] Oh, look at that wrist action! All those years yankin' it are finally startin' to pay off.
	Season 6 / Episode 17: - Walk Like a Man Tony Soprano: What the fuck's with you? Carlo Gervasi: Root canal, they got me on oxycodone. My whole fuckin' head is numb. Tony Soprano: Well, that answers some questions.
	Season 6 / Episode 17: - Walk Like a Man Tony Soprano: I came here today to tell you, in all seriousness, that I'm done. I did what you said. I gave it a lot of thought and I decided, once and for all, it's over. The truth is this therapy is a jerk-off. You know it and I know it. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I actually don't know it but please continue. Tony Soprano: It's a jerk-off. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Yes, you've said that.
	Season 6 / Episode 17: - Walk Like a Man Tony Soprano: It's in his blood, this miserable fuckin' existence. My rotten, fuckin' putrid genes have infected my kid's soul. That's my gift to my son. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I know all this is difficult but I'm very glad we're having this discussion. Tony Soprano: Really, really? 'Cause I gotta be honest, I think it fuckin' sucks. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: What does? Tony Soprano: This. Therapy. I HATE this fuckin' shit! Seriously, we're both adults here, right? So after all is said and done, after all the complainin' and the cryin' and all the fuckin' bullshit... is this all there is?
	Season 6 / Episode 17: - Walk Like a Man Carmela Soprano: You've heard the term "comfort food". Maybe it'll make you feel better. Anthony Soprano, Jr.: I know this is hard for you to believe, but food may not be the answer to every problem. Tony Soprano: Neither is acting like a whiny little bitch.
	Season 6 / Episode 17: - Walk Like a Man Tony Soprano: These fuckin' women, they'll drive you nuts with their emotions and whatnot. And I know it feels like you're never gonna love anybody again. But trust me, there's millions of girls that are dyin' to meet a guy like you. I see 'em every day. Anthony Soprano, Jr.: Oh, right. I'm so special. Tony Soprano: You're damn right you are. You're handsome, and smart, and hard worker, and - let's be honest - white. That's a huge plus nowadays... Go out and get a blowjob. Anthony Soprano, Jr.: I don't want a blowjob! Tony Soprano: Keep your voice down. Anthony Soprano, Jr.: Why? Who's listening out there? Tony Soprano: Nobody. Anthony Soprano, Jr.: Ah, fuck me!
	Season 6 / Episode 17: - Walk Like a Man Tony Soprano: You knock off early, we, uh, go back to your place, christen those new sheets you were telling me about. Lori: The man with the plan, huh? Tony Soprano: Uh, the man with the erection.
	Season 6 / Episode 16: - Chasing It Tony Soprano: Marie Spatafore came to see me. She wants a hundred grand to relocate on account of Vito, Jr. already has his own social worker. Phil Leotardo: Patty told me there was doin's. I guess the turd doesn't fall far from the faggot's ass

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