Dr. Jennifer Melfi

The Sopranos

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Characters: #5 of 26 (Full List)

Played by:

Lorraine Bracco
Lorraine was voted the "ugliest girl in the 6th grade" at her Long Island grade school. She moved to ...

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Dr. Jennifer Melfi Quotes

	Season 6 / Episode 20: - The Blue Comet Dr. Jennifer Melfi: That Departures magazine out there. Did you give any thought at all to someone else who might wanna read before you tore out the entire page? Tony Soprano: What? Dr. Jennifer Melfi: It's not the first time you've defaced my reading materials. Tony Soprano: You saw that, huh? People tear shit outta your magazines all the time, they're a mess. I try to read 'em. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I don't think I can help you. Tony Soprano: Well, change 'em. Bring in some new shit. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I mean therapeutically. Tony Soprano: What are you talkin' about? I've only missed three appointments since we had that heart-to-heart. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: The new big thing these days is called psychodynamic therapy combined with Anafranil. Tony Soprano: Who? Dr. Jennifer Melfi: A medication. There's a doctor in Bloomfield you could see. Tony Soprano: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, OK? Now what the fuck is this? You're, uh, firin' me 'cause I defaced your Departures magazine. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I'm giving you my considered medical opinion. Tony Soprano: OK, I should've asked you for the steak recipe. And missin' sessions, unfortunately, is part of my condition. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: What do you know about your condition? You miss appointments because you don't give a shit. About commitments, about what I do, about the body of work that's gone into building up this science!... Go ahead, tell me again I sound like your wife. Tony Soprano: Well, if the shoe fits. [Dr. Melfi stands up] We're making progress! It's been seven years! Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Do you want some names? Tony Soprano: [stands up] OK, listen, I'm gonna tell you somethin' and you're not gonna like it. But we can say anything in here, right? Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Go ahead! Tony Soprano: I'm chalkin' this all up to female menopausal situations. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: You're not my gynecologist. Tony Soprano: Well, you don't need a gynecologist to know which way the wind blows. [Dr. Melfi opens the door] So, wait a minute. You tellin' me after all this time, after everything we've shared in here, you're cuttin' me loose just as my son got outta the hospital for tryin' to kill himself? Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Since you are in crisis, I don't wanna waste your time. Tony Soprano: You know, I gotta be fuckin' honest. As a doctor, I think what you're doin' is immoral.
	Season 6 / Episode 18: - Kennedy and Heidi Tony Soprano: You know what? This is bullshit. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: What? Tony Soprano: I haven't been able to tell anybody this. I'm fuckin' relieved. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Really? Tony Soprano: He was a tremendous drag on my emotions and my thoughts about the future. I mean, to begin with, every morning I wake up thinkin' is this the day that one of my best friends is gonna dime me to the FBI? And a weak, fuckin' snivellin', lyin' drug addict? That's the worst kind of bet. The biggest blunder of my career is now gone. And I don't have to be confronted by that fact no more. And as a relative, a friend, someone you can count on? [flicks his hand under his chin] Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I see. Tony Soprano: Let me tell you somethin'. I murdered friends before, even relatives. My cousin Tony, my best friend Puss... But this?
	Season 6 / Episode 18: - Kennedy and Heidi Dr. Jennifer Melfi: How are you doing, Anthony? Tony Soprano: There have been some hard moments. But a weak, lyin' drug addict who fantasized about my downfall, who showed people his filthy thoughts on a movie screen? Let me tell you somethin'. I've seen friends die before. Accidents, even murder. My cousin Tony, they shot his face away. And I was fuckin' prostate with grief... But this?
	Season 6 / Episode 17: - Walk Like a Man Tony Soprano: I came here today to tell you, in all seriousness, that I'm done. I did what you said. I gave it a lot of thought and I decided, once and for all, it's over. The truth is this therapy is a jerk-off. You know it and I know it. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I actually don't know it but please continue. Tony Soprano: It's a jerk-off. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Yes, you've said that.
	Season 6 / Episode 17: - Walk Like a Man Tony Soprano: It's in his blood, this miserable fuckin' existence. My rotten, fuckin' putrid genes have infected my kid's soul. That's my gift to my son. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I know all this is difficult but I'm very glad we're having this discussion. Tony Soprano: Really, really? 'Cause I gotta be honest, I think it fuckin' sucks. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: What does? Tony Soprano: This. Therapy. I HATE this fuckin' shit! Seriously, we're both adults here, right? So after all is said and done, after all the complainin' and the cryin' and all the fuckin' bullshit... is this all there is?
	Season 6 / Episode 16: - Chasing It Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [Tony is at Dr. Melfi's shortly after having a monetary dispute with Hesh] You got a lot of Jews in your business right? Dr. Jennifer Melfi: What do you mean? Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: This. [surveys her office]. You gotta hand it to 'em. When it comes to money. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I've found that that's nothing more than an ugly stereotype. Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Really? Because I got a friend, you tie a krugerrand to a fishing line, you're gonna land him. [makes a sound emulating a fishing line being reeled in] . Right up on the dock.
	Season 6 / Episode 1: - Members Only Tony Soprano: I stopped at a light yesterday and I see this nanny, black girl, pushin' a baby carriage. Comin' the other way, was another one with this old lady in a wheelchair starin' off into space. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: The circle of life. Tony Soprano: Circle-jerk of life. Where's the dignity? Dr. Jennifer Melfi: If you're lucky, in the end you can let go of you pride. Let your loved ones care for you. Tony Soprano: I'd rather they hold a pillow over my face. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I find it interesting you would say that. You tried to smother your mother with a pillow. Tony Soprano: What? Dr. Jennifer Melfi: In the hospital after her stroke. Tony Soprano: The fuck I did! I grabbed a pillow but it was... just to keep my hands occupied.
	Season 6 / Episode 1: - Members Only Tony Soprano: What was your mother like? She ever let you down, do anything to hurt your feelings? Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Of course she did. She was controlling, manipulative at times. She also never tried to kill me. Tony Soprano: I pushed her over the edge. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: By placing her in a lovely retirement community. Tony Soprano: It's a nursing home!
	Season 5 / Episode 10: - Cold Cuts Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: You know what they say: Revenge is like serving cold cuts. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I think it's "Revenge is a dish best served cold." Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: What did I say?
	Season 5 / Episode 7: - In Camelot Dr. Jennifer Melfi: What was it like sitting sitting there with Fran? Tony Soprano: It was a little weird at first. Here I am comforting my father's mistress, my mother's lyin' there dead. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Are you attracted to her? Tony Soprano: Come on, she's old enough to be my mother. Tony Soprano: Oh, Jesus Christ, it's an expression. Don't cream yourself. I did not want to fuck my mother! You should have seen her in her housedress with that hairnet. This conversation would be over in two seconds.
	Season 4 / Episode 11: - Calling All Cars Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: You know, there's this Russian woman. She told me something that's very true. She said, only here, in America, do we expect to be happy. I mean this woman, she had a terrible leg disease since she was 9. She was dirt poor. She's getting on with her life. I mean, over here, we come and we bitch to shrinks. I mean, what the fuck? Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Well, part of that may be true. But, who said that after getting out of the dirt and the poverty, do we have to stop looking for pain and truth? Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Pain and truth? Come on, I'm a fat fucking crook from New Jersey.
	Season 3 / Episode 5: - Another Toothpick Dr. Jennifer Melfi: You're both very angry. Tony Soprano: Yeah, you must have been at the top of your fuckin' class.
	Season 3 / Episode 4: - Employee of the Month Dr. Elliott Kupferberg: Jennifer, civilization... Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Oh, don't worry, I won't break the social compact. But that's not saying... there isn't a certain satisfaction in knowing that I could have that asshole squashed like a bug... if I wanted!
	Season 2 / Episode 9: - From Where to Eternity Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Excuse me, let me tell you something... When America opened up the floodgates and let all us Italians in, what do you think they were doing it for? 'Cause they were trying to save us from poverty? No, they did it because they needed us. They needed us to build their cities and dig their subways, and to make them richer. The Carnegies and The Rockerfellers: they needed worker bees and there we were. But some of us didn't want to swarm around their hive and lose who we were. We wanted to stay Italian and preserve the things that meant something to us: honor and family and loyalty... and some of us wanted a piece of the action. Now we weren't educated like the Americans, but we had the BALLS to take what we wanted! And those other folks, those other... the, the JP Morgans, they were crooks and killers too, but that was the business right? The American Way. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: That might all be true, but what do poor Itailian immigrants have to do with you and what happens every morning you step out of bed? Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: What the fuck is this all of a sudden? Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I'm just asking a question. Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Oh, so YOU'RE taking a stand now, huh? You pick HERE to make a stand? After all this time telling me that nothing's my fault, because of poor parenting. You pick now to act like Betsy "Fuckin'" Ross! When my nephew is in the fuckin' hospital! He might not get out!
	Season 2 / Episode 7: - D-Girl Dr. Jennifer Melfi: It sounds to me like Anthony Jr. may have stumbled onto existentialism. Tony Soprano: Fucking Internet.
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - I Dream of Jeannie Cusamano Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I have patients who are suicidal! Tony Soprano: Well they're not gonna feel any better about their life if you get clipped.
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - I Dream of Jeannie Cusamano Tony Soprano: I'm doing her doggy-style, and I finish, you know. And her big ass is... look, we don't have time for this shit. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: It's interesting that you would say a big ass, 'cause Jean is quite slender. Tony Soprano: We've got bigger things to talk about than Jean Cusamano's ass. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Like feelings of worthlessness sparked by your mother's plot to have you killed?
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - I Dream of Jeannie Cusamano Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Isn't it interesting how this memory loss cropped up right after you failed to be killed in the carjacking? You think it was a carjacking? Tony Soprano: Of course not, but I got an idea who was behind it. Enough said. You don't want to go there. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Maybe you don't want to go there. Tony Soprano: What are you talking about? Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Well, let's track it. Right around the time of the shooting, you were having hallucinations of that Isabella figure. The protective, loving mother. Your subconscience was shouting something at you. On the day before the shooting, you said to me that she kept going on yet again about news stories of mothers throwing their babies out of windows. Tony Soprano: Why don't we put our fuckin' cards on the table here. What do you think, my mother tried to have me whacked 'cuz I put her in a nursing home?
	Season 1 / Episode 10: - A Hit is a Hit Randy Wagner: What does that do to property values having a gangster living next door? Dr. Bruce Cusamano: Are you kidding? Safest block in the neighb. And being a gangster what does it mean anyway? Randy Wagner: That's true. Some of the shit I see in the boardroom. I don't know if I'd make a distinction. Barb Wagner: Oh, will you please. It's not the same thing. Dr. Bruce Cusamano: Bugging, bribes. I don't know. Sometimes I think the only thing separating the American business from the mobs is fuckin' whackin' somebody. Jean Cusamano: Listen to you. Dr. Bruce Cusamano: What? Jean Cusamano: Whackin'. He hangs around with Tony Soprano for 15 minutes, and it's fuckin' this and fuckin' that. Barb Wagner: We were over there for that fund-raiser. I didn't see any guns anywhere. Jean Cusamano: Oh, but that bar with the goombah Murano glass. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I like Murano glass.
	Season 1 / Episode 10: - A Hit is a Hit Tony Soprano: My wife thinks I need to meet new people. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: So? Tony Soprano: C'mon, you're Italian, you understand. Guys like me we're brought up to think that Merigan are fuckin' bores. The truth is the average white man is no more boring than the millionth conversation over who should have won, Marciano or Ali. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: So am I to understand that you don't consider yourself white? Tony Soprano: I don't mean white like Caucasian. I mean a white man like our friend Cusamano. Now he's Italian, but he's Merigan. It's what my old man would have called a Wonder Bread wop. He eats his Sunday gravy out of a jar.
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - Down Neck Dr. Jennifer Melfi: That must have been devastating. Tony Soprano: No, it turned out it was no big deal. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: To see your father handcuffed, being led away by the police. Tony Soprano: At the time I thought my head was gonna explode. He looked... helpless. When I got home my mother had a different perspective, which made me feel better. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: So in her pain she reached out to you. Tony Soprano: That's one way to put it. Young Livia Soprano: Your father may not be home for dinner tonight. Go wash up. Young Tony Soprano: I know. Young Livia Soprano: What do you know? Young Tony Soprano: I saw him getting arrested. What did he do? Young Livia Soprano: He didn't do anything. They just pick on the Italians.
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - Down Neck Tony Soprano: But I'll tell ya somethin', I was proud to be Johnny Soprano's kid. When he beat the shit outta that guy, I went to the class, I told them how tough my father was. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Do you think that's how your son feels about you? Tony Soprano: Yeah, probably. And I'm glad. I'm glad if he's proud of me. But that's the bind I'm in 'cause I don't want him to be like me.
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - Down Neck Tony Soprano: What about Pussy? Dr. Jennifer Melfi: [looks confused] Tony Soprano: He's an acquaintance of mine.
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - Down Neck Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Genetic predispositions are only that: predispositions. It's not a destiny written in stone. People have choices. Tony Soprano: She finally offers an opinion! Dr. Jennifer Melfi: You think that everything that happens is preordained? You don't think that human beings possess free will? Tony Soprano: How come I'm not making freakin' pots in Peru? You're born to this shit. You are what you are. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Within that, there is a range of choices. This is America! Tony Soprano: Right... America.
	Season 1 / Episode 6: - Pax Soprana Dr. Jennifer Melfi: When's the last time you had a prostate exam? Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Hey, I don't even let anyone wag their finger in my FACE.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Meadowlands Tony Soprano: I'm havin' second thoughts. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: About? Tony Soprano: This whole thing. This whole arrangement. Security. I mean I come here, I tell you things, I don't know how safe it is. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I understand your concerns. But I told you what the ground rules are. As long as I don't hear anything incriminating... Tony Soprano: You don't fuckin' get it. Bein' here incriminates me. Somebody sees me, they tell somebody else. All of a sudden, I'm a celebrity.
	Season 1 / Episode 3: - Denial, Anger, Acceptance Dr. Jennifer Melfi: [about Jackie's condition] From what you're telling me it doesn't sound very good. Tony Soprano: From what I'm telling you? Well, what the fuck do I know? I'm not a doctor. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: You're angry. Who with? Tony Soprano: Let me tell you something. This man has had chemo every day for three fuckin' weeks and he still has every last hair on his head. Every last hair on his head and he's got a beautiful head of hair. So don't tell me about how it sounds because you don't know him and you don't know me and you don't know what the fuck you're talkin' about! Dr. Jennifer Melfi: What's happening is we're getting closer to your confronting your true feelings about what's really going on here. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Wait a minute, wait a minute. I just told you my true feelings. So why don't you tell me what's really goin' on. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: The tree in the painting rotted out, you said. There's nothing in that picture to indicate that. Tony Soprano: The fucking painting. I knew that painting was a scam. I knew that painting was a fuckin' scam! Dr. Jennifer Melfi: You remember your dream? The ducks? It took on another meaning. What happens to a tree that's rotted out? Tony Soprano: Trees, ducks. What the fuck are you, Ranger Rick? I'll tell you, some job you shrinks got! You think everybody is lying to you while you're pulling scams on them! Fuck you!
	Season 1 / Episode 3: - Denial, Anger, Acceptance Dr. Jennifer Melfi: How are things? Tony Soprano: Good. I had a real good week. Friend of mine's in the hospital. That's never pleasant, but... Otherwise I'm having a good week. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: What's he in for? Tony Soprano: First they thought it was an ulcer. You know, then this and that. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: You worried about him? Tony Soprano: Jackie? Jackie's so fucking mean, he'll scare that cancer away.
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - 46 Long Dr. Jennifer Melfi: [about Livia] She could need a change in her living situation, be around more people. Tony Soprano: Well, we were looking at Green Grove. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: It's a beautiful facility. It's more like a hotel at Cap d'Antibes. Tony Soprano: Yeah. But to her it's a nursing home. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Well, she needs to be made to see the distinction. That in fact, she's embarking on a rewarding chapter. I know seniors who are inspired. And inspiring.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - The Sopranos Tony Soprano: I gotta be honest with you. I'm not getting any satisfaction from my work either. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Why? Tony Soprano: Well, because of RICO. Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Is he your brother? Tony Soprano: No. The RICO statutes? Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Oh. [chuckles] Of course, right.

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