Christopher Moltisanti

The Sopranos

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Characters: #4 of 26 (Full List)

Played by:

Michael Imperioli
Michael Imperioli was born in Mt. Vernon, New York, on March 26, 1966. His film work began in the late ...

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Christopher Moltisanti Quotes

	Season 6 / Episode 18: - Kennedy and Heidi Christopher Moltisanti: Frankly, Tone, I'm thinking maybe we should meet Phil's number. Tony Soprano: Why? I think that would set a terrible precedent right now. Just bend over? When he just became boss of the family over there? Christopher Moltisanti: Yeah, well, that's the flying ointment. Even still, I say let him have it. Life's too short. Tony Soprano: It's also too short to live it as a fuckin' lackey. Christopher Moltisanti: True, too.
	Season 6 / Episode 18: - Kennedy and Heidi Christopher Moltisanti: Well, regarding Phil, I gotta ask. Whatever happened to "stop and smell the roses"? Tony Soprano: You're right, you're right. You can't fight every fucking battle, right? Asbestos. [laughs] Each day's a gift. Christopher Moltisanti: Every time I look at my kid, that's what I realize. Tony Soprano: And that shit with Junior? Please. It's just that people like Phil, they're not on that page. They'll take those roses and stick 'em up your ass, thorns first.
	Season 6 / Episode 17: - Walk Like a Man Christopher Moltisanti: You ain't seen this many cops lined up since the centennial of Dunkin' Donuts.
	Season 6 / Episode 17: - Walk Like a Man Christopher Moltisanti: [raises glass] To business. Paulie Walnuts: You're goin' to jinx me? Toast with water? Christopher Moltisanti: Club soda. What's your problem? Paulie Walnuts: You got the problem, my friend. You're a real fuckin' drip lately. Christopher Moltisanti: When I was usin', I was a disgrace; now I'm sober, and I'm a drip. The fuck you want from me? Paulie Walnuts: How's about bein' normal? That so fuckin' hard? Christopher Moltisanti: Actually, yeah, Paulie, for some of us it is. Paulie Walnuts: Don't get cunty, I'm breakin' your balls... What do ya say we take a ride? A little prime rib, on me. Christopher Moltisanti: Maybe next time. Paulie Walnuts: What are you watchin' your cholesterol now too? Christopher Moltisanti: Yeah. Fuckin' hilarious. [gets up and leaves]
	Season 6 / Episode 17: - Walk Like a Man Christopher Moltisanti: You know, and I know, they were there to boost that shit. Paulie Walnuts: It couldn't wait, OK? I promised a load to Lenny down the Joint Fitter's Union. Christopher Moltisanti: What do I give a fuck? It ain't my union! Paulie Walnuts: Lower your voice, I got neighbors. Christopher Moltisanti: Fuck your neighbors! When are you gonna pay me? Paulie Walnuts: When you suck the money out of my ass! Now get the fuck out!
	Season 6 / Episode 17: - Walk Like a Man Christopher Moltisanti: I look in her eyes, man, and she looks back at me... Paulie Walnuts: How the fuck do I put myself up for adoption? Christopher Moltisanti: What? Paulie Walnuts: Nothin'. Go ahead. Christopher Moltisanti: She ain't adopted Paulie. Paulie Walnuts: I'm kiddin'. What were you sayin'? Christopher Moltisanti: My point... What the fuck?... It's babies. They're the future. You realize by the time Caitlin's outta college it'll be like the year 2027 or somethin'. Paulie Walnuts: She takes after you she won't be outta fourth grade by then. 'Course by that time she'll be workin' here so who gives a shit.
	Season 6 / Episode 17: - Walk Like a Man Christopher Moltisanti: My friends have abandoned me. I've been totally fuckin' ostra-fied.
	Season 6 / Episode 14: - Stage 5 Christopher Moltisanti: It was an idea, I don't know, who knows where they fuckin' come from? Isaac Newton invented gravity 'cause some asshole hit him with an apple!
	Season 6 / Episode 7: - Luxury Lounge Christopher Moltisanti: [about Hollywood] Ben Kingsley passed. Made some contacts. Plus we got to see Lindsay Lohan - total piece of ass.
	Season 6 / Episode 2: - Join the Club Christopher Moltisanti: [to Agent Harris] What about that disease you picked up over there in Diarrhea-stan or wherever the fuck you were?
	Season 6 / Episode 1: - Members Only Tony Soprano: What you lose a little weight? Agent Dwight Harris: Ah... Vito Spatafore: You look good. Atkins, right? Agent Dwight Harris: I caught a parasite over there. Doctors don't know what it is. Christopher Moltisanti: What do they eat, tabooli? Agent Dwight Harris: Actually that's why I'm here. I been dyin' for a Satriale's veal parm hero. [walks in] Christopher Moltisanti: Fuck him. I hope that parasite eats his asshole out. Tony Soprano: [shrugs] Kinda feel bad for the guy.
	Season 6 / Episode 1: - Members Only Christopher Moltisanti: You ever think what a coincidence it is that Lou Gehrig died of Lou Gehrig's disease? Tony Soprano: You're gonna make that same stupid joke every time that comes up?
	Season 5 / Episode 12: - Long Term Parking Christopher Moltisanti: [Explaining to Tony and Silvio why he's late] The highway was jammed with broken heroes on a last chance power drive!
	Season 5 / Episode 12: - Long Term Parking Tony Soprano: Are you still feeling sick, Hon? Christopher Moltisanti: Please! They've gotta replace her colon with a semi-colon.
	Season 5 / Episode 7: - In Camelot J.T. Dolan: What the fuck is this, "Pulp Fiction"? Little Paulie Germani: I don't know, haven't seen it. J.T. Dolan: What, am I supposed to be afraid? What could you possibly do that I haven't already been through? Christopher Moltisanti: I'm positive we'll figure something out.
	Season 5 / Episode 2: - Rat Pack Christopher Moltisanti: [to Adriana] Hey, you got change? I'm fucking sliding this stupid bill in and out of the cigarette machine for like an hour. Tina Francesco: [suggestively] An hour? I bet you can go longer than that! Christopher Moltisanti: Listen to you! Why do you always talk like a whore? Tina Francesco: 'Cause men like it! Christopher Moltisanti: Yeah? Christopher Moltisanti: Think you're right about that.
	Season 4 / Episode 10: - The Strong, Silent Type Adriana La Cerva: [at Christopher's intervention] But when you killed Cosette, that was the last straw. Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Killed the dog? What'd you do that for? Christopher Moltisanti: It was an accident! Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: What, was it barking?
	Season 4 / Episode 5: - Pie-O-My Adriana La Cerva: I'm just worried about you, Christopher. I love you so much. Christopher Moltisanti: So if you love me, stir my eggs, okay? [aside] Oh, we're having Sunday dinner at Tony's, and you're coming. I don't care if your mother's dying!
	Season 4 / Episode 4: - The Weight Christopher Moltisanti: Maybe Vesuvio's is bugged and it's Feds who told Johnny. Silvio Dante: What, conspiracy theories now? Christopher Moltisanti: Why not? Play captains against each other, create a little dysentery among the ranks? Tony Soprano: First of all, the place is swiped for bugs twice a month. Second, there are much more interesting things being said at that place than Ginny Sack's fat ass!
	Season 4 / Episode 2: - No Show Christopher Moltisanti: This is my Goodbye Party with heroin.
	Season 4 / Episode 1: - For All Debts Public and Private Christopher Moltisanti: So, you're telling me you didn't take cash from Jilly Ruffalo, to kill my father? Detective Lieutenant Barry Haydu: I never even heard of Jilly Ruffalo. Christopher Moltisanti: [points a gun at him] Oh, really? Detective Lieutenant Barry Haydu: Look, whoever told you this, is setting you up. He's lying. Christopher Moltisanti: Well, either way, it wouldn't make any difference. Detective Lieutenant Barry Haydu: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, IT WON'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE? Christopher Moltisanti: Because, he wants you dead.
	Season 4 / Episode 1: - For All Debts Public and Private Christopher Moltisanti: Of course Tony can count on me! When the fuck have I not been there for him 100%? [shoots heroin into his foot]
	Season 4 / Episode 1: - For All Debts Public and Private Adriana La Cerva: Is Tony still actin' all mean? Christopher Moltisanti: Fuckin' asshole. Ever since I questioned his judgment on some Ralphie/Jackie Jr. problem. Like he's fuckin' infallible, pope Tony the 23rd or some shit.
	Season 3 / Episode 11: - Pine Barrens Christopher Moltisanti: Russians? They're not all bad. Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: How 'bout the Cuban Missile Crisis? Cocksuckers flew four nuclear missiles into Cuba, pointed them right at us. Christopher Moltisanti: That was real? I saw that movie, I thought it was bullshit.
	Season 3 / Episode 11: - Pine Barrens Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: C'mon, Chrissy. All the shit we been through, you really think I'd kill ya? Christopher Moltisanti: Yeah, I do.
	Season 3 / Episode 11: - Pine Barrens Christopher Moltisanti: For all we know, he could be out there stalking us. Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: With what? His cock?
	Season 3 / Episode 11: - Pine Barrens Christopher Moltisanti: We shoulda stopped at Roy Rogers. Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Yeah and I shoulda fucked Dale Evans but I didn't.
	Season 3 / Episode 11: - Pine Barrens Tony Soprano: [over the phone] It's a bad connection so I'm gonna talk fast! The guy you're looking for is an ex-commando! He killed sixteen Chechen rebels single-handed! Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Get the fuck outta here. Tony Soprano: Yeah. Nice, huh? He was with the Interior Ministry. Guy's like a Russian green beret. He can not come back and tell this story. You understand? Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: I hear you. [hangs up] You're not gonna believe this. He killed sixteen Czechoslovakians. Guy was an interior decorator. Christopher Moltisanti: His house looked like shit.
	Season 3 / Episode 11: - Pine Barrens Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Ohhhh! Go do that by your own window! I don't wanna have to smell your piss all night! Christopher Moltisanti: Fuck you, Paulie. Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: What'd you say? Christopher Moltisanti: You heard me. Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Don't make me pull rank on you, kid! Christopher Moltisanti: Fuck you, Paulie! Captain or no captain, right now we're just two assholes lost in the woods.
	Season 3 / Episode 3: - Fortunate Son Adriana La Cerva: I love you, Chris. Christopher Moltisanti: You better!

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