Carmela Soprano

The Sopranos

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Characters: #2 of 26 (Full List)

Played by:

Edie Falco
Edith Falco, called Edie, was born on July 5, 1963, grew up on Long Island and attended SUNY Purchase, ...

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Carmela Soprano Quotes

	Season 6 / Episode 21: - Made in America Carmela Soprano: [about A.J] Oh, I didn't tell you. He spent on a set of CDs that teach Arabic. Tony Soprano: Jesus Christ, c'mon! Shish-kabob. What else do ya need to know?
	Season 6 / Episode 19: - The Second Coming Tony Soprano: I'm depressed. Carmela Soprano: I'm telling you. Don't you start now. Tony Soprano: What does that mean? Carmela Soprano: It means what it means. I have enough on my plate, I don't need you adding to it with your bullshit. Tony Soprano: Bullshit? It's an illness and it's fuckin' hereditary. Carmela Soprano: Thank you, I know. I am intimately acquainted with the Soprano curse. Your father, your uncle, your great-grandfather who drove the donkey cart off the road in Avellino, all of it. Tony Soprano: Oh, you think it's a joke? Carmela Soprano: Am I laughing? Tony Soprano: Well, then what are you sayin'? Carmela Soprano: He didn't get it from my family. That's all I'm gonna say. Tony Soprano: Your family don't even talk. Your father's so bottled up it's a wonder he's even got a stomach left. Carmela Soprano: Yeah, as opposed to yours. Tony Soprano: At least my father was out front about what was botherin' him. Carmela Soprano: Right, with a bullet through your mother's beehive hairdo.
	Season 6 / Episode 17: - Walk Like a Man Carmela Soprano: It's better to have loved than lost, A.J. It's better to have loved and lost, A.J. Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano Jr.: [incredulous] What? Tony Soprano: It is.
	Season 6 / Episode 17: - Walk Like a Man Carmela Soprano: You've heard the term "comfort food". Maybe it'll make you feel better. Anthony Soprano, Jr.: I know this is hard for you to believe, but food may not be the answer to every problem. Tony Soprano: Neither is acting like a whiny little bitch.
	Season 6 / Episode 13: - Soprano Home Movies Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: My pop bought this place 'cause it was close to Canada. He had ties to Montreal. You know, Tone. And his father, my grandpop, come into the country originally through Montreal illegally. Carmela Soprano: No kidding. He wasn't Ellis Island, your grandfather? Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: Nah. Got mixed up in some shenanigans on the other side. Anti-government or somethin'. Had a police record... They oughta build a wall now though. I'm tellin' ya. Carmela Soprano: Amen.
	Season 6 / Episode 13: - Soprano Home Movies Janice Soprano: You want to swap family stories Tone? How about the time when Mom and Dad were coming back from the Copa? Tony Soprano: That's enough Janice! Janice Soprano: [laughing] Mom's hair! Tony Soprano: That didn't even happen! And anyway, it's not for public concern! Carmela Soprano: What? Oh my God! What? Janice Soprano: They were driving back from Manhattan, with Uncle June and his goomar. Oh! What was her name? Tony Soprano: Your ass! Janice Soprano: That's how we heard the story through her... [remembering] Rosemary. My father's driving, and she's ragging on his ass. You know how she gets. He's been drinking, I guess. And he takes out his gun! Carmela Soprano: Oh my God! Janice Soprano: BOOM! Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: Holy shit! Janice Soprano: Fuckin' blew right through her beehive hairdo! Carmela Soprano: [laughing] I can't believe you never told me that story! Janice Soprano: Yeah! What's the big deal! Tony Soprano: 'Cause it makes us look like a fuckin' dysfunctional family! [cursing] Jesus Christ! Janice Soprano: My turn! Tony Soprano: [to Carmela] And don't you ever tell the kids that about their grandfather! Carmela Soprano: Of course not!
	Season 5 / Episode 13: - All Due Respect Carmela Soprano: What happened to you? And your shoes are soaking wet!
	Season 4 / Episode 13: - Whitecaps Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: You know, when you asked me what Irina's cousin had, that you don't have? Well, I thought about it, 'cause it's a pretty good fucking question. And yes, she's sexy enough even with the one pin gone, but that's not it. I could converse with her 'cause she had something to say. Carmela Soprano: I AM HERE! I have things to say! Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Besides bringing the fucking chairs down and sign the fucking trust! She was a grown woman who was kicked around. And she's been on her own and she had to fight and struggle! Carmela Soprano: Unlike me? Is that it? Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Yeah. Carmela Soprano: [shouting] Who the fuck wanted it like this? Who the fuck pissed and moaned of just the idea of me with a fucking real estate license? Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Well, you sit back for 20 fucking years all you did was fiddle with the air conditioning and fucking bitch and complain! And fucking bitch, bitch, bitch to me! TO YOUR PRIEST! FUCK IT! Carmela Soprano: Who knew all this time you wanted Tracy and Hepburn? Well Tony, what about all the thousand other fucking pigs you had your dick in over the years? The strippers, the cocktail waitresses, were they all your best friends all of them too? [pause] You fucking hypocrite.
	Season 4 / Episode 13: - Whitecaps Carmela Soprano: You've made a fool of me all these years with these whores, and now it's come into our home!
	Season 4 / Episode 13: - Whitecaps Carmela Soprano: You have made a fool of me for years with these whores. Now it's come into our home? Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: What are you talking about? Carmela Soprano: The RUSSIAN called. Your son answered the telephone! Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Oh, Jesus. Carmela, she's insane. She's certifiable, I told you. You can't believe a word she says, whatever it is, and we haven't seen each other like that, I swear to Christ! Carmela Soprano: What about her cousin? Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [realizing he's been caught] What? No. Carmela Soprano: The nurse who took care of your mother, who I liked? Who I spoke to on the phone about your mother's allapechia and her bowel movements? Who I shared vodka with the night your mother died? You've been FUCKING her? Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: There is not a shred of truth in that. Carmela Soprano: Why would the cousin make it up, huh? Because she's jealous? [she lunges at him and he grabs her and pins her to the wall] LET GO OF ME!
	Season 3 / Episode 13: - Army of One Carmela Soprano: Now, you liked Jackie; so you don't want to believe that he did this to himself. So, like a lot of other people you go around looking for boogey men to blame- boogey men with Italian names.
	Season 3 / Episode 12: - Amour Fou Rosalie Aprile: It's not just us. The president of the Unites States for crying out loud, look what his wife had to put up with the the blow job and the stained dress. Angie Bompensiero: Hillary Clinton? I can't stand that woman. Rosalie Aprile: I don't know. Maybe we could all take a page from her book. Carmela Soprano: What, to be humiliated in public then walk around smiling all the time? That is so false. I would dig a hole, I would climb into it and I would not come out. Rosalie Aprile: All I know is she stuck by him and put up with the bullshit and in the end, what did she do? She set up her own little thing. Gabriella Dante: She did. She took all that negative shit he gave her and spun it into gold. I give her credit. Carmela Soprano: Hm that's true, isn't it? Carmela Soprano: She's a role model for all of us.
	Season 3 / Episode 7: - Second Opinion Carmela Soprano: He's a good man. He's a good father. Dr. Krakower: You tell me he's a depressed criminal, prone to anger, serially unfaithful. Is that your definition of a good man?... You must trust your initial impulse and consider leaving him. You'll never be able to feel good about yourself. You'll never be able to quell the feelings of guilt and shame that you talked about, so long as you're his accomplice. Carmela Soprano: You're wrong about the accomplice part, though. Dr. Krakower: You sure? Carmela Soprano: All I did was make sure he's got clean clothes in his closet and dinner on his table. Dr. Krakower: So "enable" would be a more accurate job description for what you do than "accomplice". My apologies... Take only the children - what's left of them - and go. Carmela Soprano: My priest said I should work with him, help him to become a better man. Dr. Krakower: How's that going?
	Season 3 / Episode 7: - Second Opinion Carmela Soprano: I thought psychiatrists weren't supposed to be judgmental. Dr. Krakower: Many patients want to be excused for their current predicament because of events that occured in their childhood. That's what psychiatry has become in America. Visit any shopping mall or ethnic pride parade, and witness the results.
	Season 3 / Episode 7: - Second Opinion Carmela Soprano: What we say in here, stays in here, right? Dr. Krakower: By ethical code, and by law. Carmela Soprano: His crimes... they are, organized crime. Dr. Krakower: The Mafia! Carmela Soprano: Oh Jesus. [wipes tears from her eyes] So what? So what? He betrays me every week with these whores! Dr. Krakower: Probably the least of his misdeeds. [Carmela gets up to leave] You can leave now, or you can stay and hear what I have to say. Carmela Soprano: You're gonna charge me all the same. Dr. Krakower: I won't take your money. Carmela Soprano: That's a new one.
	Season 3 / Episode 7: - Second Opinion Dr. Krakower: Have you ever read Crime and Punishment? Dostoyevksy? [Carmela shakes her head 'no'] It's not an easy read. It's about guilt and redemption. I think your husband ought to turn himself and read this book in his jail cell and meditate on his crimes every day for seven years, so that he might be redeemed. Carmela Soprano: I would have to get a lawyer, find an apartment, arrange for child support... Dr. Krakower: You, you're not listening. I'm not charging you because I won't take blood money, and you can't, either. One thing you can never say is that you haven't been told. Carmela Soprano: I see.
	Season 3 / Episode 6: - University Carmela Soprano: I think you should pay him, Tony Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: No fucking way! Carmela Soprano: What, your daughter's future isn't worth 50,000 dollars? Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: That's not it. That motherfucker's full of shit. He's shaking me down. Carmela Soprano: No, he's not. Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Oh, yeah? Who knows more about extortion, me or Oh, yeah? Who knows more about extortion, me or you?
	Season 3 / Episode 3: - Fortunate Son Meadow Soprano: [on the phone] Is dad there? Carmela Soprano: He's out back by the grill. Meadow Soprano: Burning a cross?
	Season 3 / Episode 2: - Proshai, Livushka Carmela Soprano: If you want her to be with him, just keep playing the race card. You're gonna drive her right into his arms. Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Not if I cut off those fuckin' arms.
	Season 2 / Episode 9: - From Where to Eternity Carmela Soprano: [in prayer for Christopher's life] Gentle and merciful Lord Jesus, I want to speak to you now with an open heart, with an honest heart. Tonight I ask you to take my sins and the sins of my family into your merciful heart. We have chosen this life in full awareness of the consequences of our sins. I know that Christopher's life is in your hands... and his fate is your will. I ask you humbly to spare him. And if it is your will to spare him, I ask that you deliver him from blindness and grant him vision. And through this vision may he see your love... and gain the strength to carry on in service to your mercy. In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
	Season 2 / Episode 7: - D-Girl Carmela Soprano: Act like a good Catholic for fifteen fucking minutes. Is that so much to ask?
	Season 2 / Episode 3: - Toodle-Fucking-Oo Carmela Soprano: Fine, I'm not gonna argue with you Tony. If you want her to leave then you're gonna have to tell her cause I'm not. It's not Christian. Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Well see this shit works out, she's a Buddhist.
	Season 1 / Episode 12: - Isabella Carmela Soprano: Tony, these kids need a father! Tony Soprano: They got one, Tony Soprano!
	Season 1 / Episode 11: - Nobody Knows Anything Carmela Soprano: You know, Ma, your son loves you very much. He worries all the time. And he felt bad that you didn't come to the open house. I don't care if you think it's disrespectful, but I want you to cut the drama. It's killing Tony. Livia Soprano: What are you talking about? Carmela Soprano: I'm talking about this. This "poor mother, nobody loves me" victim crap. It is textbook manipulation. And I hate seeing Tony so upset over it. Livia Soprano: I know how to talk to people. Carmela Soprano: I am a mother too, don't forget. You know the power that you have. And you use it like a pro. Livia Soprano: Power? What power? I don't have power! I'm a shut-in! Carmela Soprano: You're bigger than life. You are his mother. I don't think for one second that you don't know what you're doing to him. Livia Soprano: Who me? Me? What did I do?
	Season 1 / Episode 11: - Nobody Knows Anything Meadow Soprano: This country's light-years behind the rest of the world. Most civilized countries have legalized prostitution. Tony Soprano: Don't you got somewhere to be? Meadow Soprano: I mean, it's a joke. Look what they're putting the President through. Carmela Soprano: He deserved what he got. Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: He got Monica Kaczynski and the broad with the long nose. Meadow Soprano: I just don't think sex should be a punishable offense. Tony Soprano: You know honey, that's where I agree with you. I don't think sex should be a punishable offense either. But I do think talking about sex at the breakfast table is a punishable offense. So no more sex talk, OK? Meadow Soprano: It's the 90s. Parents are supposed to discuss sex with their children. Tony Soprano: Yeah, but that's where you're wrong. You see out there it's the 1990s but in this house it's 1954. [points to the window] 1990s. [points to the floor] 1954. So now and forever, I don't want to hear any more sex talk, OK?
	Season 1 / Episode 9: - Boca Carmela Soprano: Let's just say your uncle has acquired quite a taste for her. Tony Soprano: Uncle Jun gives head? Carmela Soprano: World class. Tony Soprano: The old man's whistling through the wheat field? Carmela Soprano: Don't be disgusting! Tony Soprano: Oh, he's a Bushman of the Kalahari! [laughs] Carmela Soprano: [laughs] That's why I don't tell you anything 'cause you don't know when to stop! Tony Soprano: Oh my God, if this ever gets out. Carmela Soprano: Oh yeah, like you don't do it or any of your friends. Bunch of hypocrites. Tony Soprano: Hey, what goes on in this bedroom stays here and you know that. Carmela Soprano: Once a year? I can resist the urge to gossip.
	Season 1 / Episode 9: - Boca Tony Soprano: Uncle Jun, how was Boca? Corrado 'Junior' Soprano: Wonderful. I don't go down enough. Carmela Soprano: That's not what I heard.
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - The Legend of Tennessee Moltisanti Larry Boy Barese: Oh, Mama Livia. Come sta, darling? Livia Soprano: Listen to him with that 'my darling'. I am nobody's darling. Larry Boy Barese: [to Tony] This one here, she never disappoints, I tell ya that. Livia Soprano: Are you still seeing your other women, Lorenzo? Carmela Soprano: [pulls her away] Come on, Ma. Let's mingle. Tony Soprano: Sorry. The older she gets the worse she gets.
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - The Legend of Tennessee Moltisanti Tony Soprano: All right. You'd better give me your jewelry. Tony Soprano: Hey, they know we can't produce receipts. You want 'em stealing this stuff from us? Tony Soprano: Come on. Carmela Soprano: I'm not giving you my engagement ring. This isn't stolen! [beat, then frown] Is it? Tony Soprano: No! [beat] What do you think I am?
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - Down Neck Peter Galani: He often has difficulty waiting his turn, is often quote unquote, "on the go" or acts if driven by a motor. Often interrupts or intrudes on others. And often fidgets with hands or feet. Tony Soprano: He fidgets with hands or feet? Peter Galani: That's right. Tony Soprano: You mean, like, he fidgets? Peter Galani: Uh-huh. Tony Soprano: And that's a sickness, to fidget? Peter Galani: Mr. Soprano, it's one of nine possible symptoms. Tony Soprano: What constitutes a fidget? Carmela Soprano: Tony... Tony Soprano: No, no, what constitutes a fidget? I mean, so what if he fidgets? He's in school. Who doesn't fidget in school? And he doesn't wait his turn? The kid's in puberty, he gets a hard-on every ten minutes, for chrissake.

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