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Ned Flanders Quotes
 | Season 8 / Episode 18: - Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment Rex Banner: Are you the Beer Baron? Ned Flanders: Well, if you're talking about root beer, I plead guilt-diddily-ildly as char-didily-arged. Rex Banner: He's not the Baron, but he sounds drunk. Take him in. |
 | Season 8 / Episode 14: - The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show Nelson Muntz: [after the Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie cartoon ends] That stunk. Homer: Well, what did everybody think? [everyone starts leaving in disgust] Ned Flanders: Homer, I can honestly say that was the best episode of Impy & Chimpy I've ever seen. Carl: Yeah, you should be very proud, Homer. You, uh... got a beautiful home here. Homer: [to the rest of the Simpson family] So it was pretty okay, huh? Bart Simpson: Mom, can we go to bed without dinner Marge Simpson: Yes, we can. [Marge, Bart and Lisa run upstairs] |
 | Season 8 / Episode 8: - Hurricane Neddy Ned Flanders: I'm Dick Tracy! Take that, Pruneface! Ned Flanders: Now I'm Pruneface! Take that, Dick Tracy! Ned Flanders: Now I'm Prune Tracy! Take that, Dick... Dr. Foster: Stop that at once! |
| Season 8 / Episode 8: - Hurricane Neddy Bart Simpson: Hey! Back off, man! Ned Flanders: Ok, *dude*! I wouldn't want you to have a cow, *man*! Here's a catchphrase you better learn for your adult years; "Hey, buddy, gotta quarter?" |
| Season 8 / Episode 8: - Hurricane Neddy Ned Flanders: Now calm down, Ned-dily-diddly-diddly-diddly... they did their best, shoddily-iddly-iddly-diddly... gotta be *nice*, hostily-iddly-diddly-iddly... Ned Flanders: Ah *hell* diddly-ding-dong-crap! Can't you morons do anything right? |
| Season 8 / Episode 8: - Hurricane Neddy Ned Flanders: Need some help there? You know, maybe you folks should come over and hunker in our bunker. [Ned's house is covered with tints] Oh, it'll be fun! We're gonna go through our old cancelled checks and receipts and give ourselves an audit. Make sure we don't owe anything extra. Homer: Oh, I'm sure I'd be a third wheel. Ned Flanders: Ho ho, no sir-ee, we'd be happy as heads to ha... Homer: [sternly] *I* would make it my *business* to be a third wheel. Ned Flanders: Okily dokily. Oooh, I better go take down the Manger scene. If baby Jesus got loose, it could really do some damage! |
| Season 8 / Episode 8: - Hurricane Neddy Ned Flanders: [talking to God after his house is destroyed] Why me, Lord? I've always been good. I don't drink or dance or swear, I've even kept kosher just to be on the safe side. I've done everything the Bible says! Even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff! What more can I do? I... I... I feel like I'm coming apart here! I wanna yell out, but I just can't dang-darn-diddly-darn-dang-ding-dong-diddly-darned do it! I just... I... [sighs] |
| Season 8 / Episode 8: - Hurricane Neddy Ned Flanders: Well, sir, everyone's alive. Guess that's something to be thankful for. Homer: Now, that kind of attitude's not gonna get your house back. Marge Simpson: I'm sure your insurance will cover the house. Maude Flanders: Uh, well, no. Neddy doesn't believe in insurance. He considers it a form of gambling. Ned Flanders: You know it's kind of funny. The only thing that survived the storm were the family tombstones. [said tombstones are named Ned, Maude, Rod and Todd] They're all we have left. Homer: [walking off] Welp, call us if you need anything! |
| Season 8 / Episode 8: - Hurricane Neddy Marge Simpson: Ned! We meant well, and everyone here tried their best... Ned Flanders: Well, my family and I can't live in good intentions, Marge! Oh, your family's out of control, but we can't blame you, because you have 'GOOD INTENTIONS!' Bart Simpson: Hey, back off, man! Ned Flanders: Oooh, okay DUDE. Don't want you to have a cow, MAN. Here's a catchphrase you'd better learn for your adult years: "Hey buddy, got a QUARTER?" Bart Simpson: I am shocked and appalled. Lisa: Mr. Flanders, with all due respect, Bart didn't do anything. Ned Flanders: Is that the sound of butting in? It's gotta be little Lisa Simpson: Springfield's answer to the question no one asked! Chief Wiggum: Ha, haha. Ned Flanders: Oh, what do we have here? The long, flabby arm of the law? The last case you got to the bottom of, was a case of mallomars! Krusty: Ha, mallomars, oh, that's going in the act. Ned Flanders: Oh yeah, the clown. The only one of you buffoons who doesn't make me laugh. And as for you, I don't know you, but I'm sure you're a jerk! Lenny: Hey, I've only been here for a few minutes, what's going on? Ned Flanders: You ugly, hate-filled man! Moe: Hey, hey! I may ugly and hate-filled, but I... uh... what was the third thing you said? Ned Flanders: Homer, you are the worst human being I have ever met. Homer: Hey, I got off pretty easy! |
 | Season 8 / Episode 7: - Lisa's Date With Density Ned Flanders: [awakened by the phone ringing] Howdily-diddely. Homer Simpson: [on the phone via the auto-dialer] Greetings, friends. Do you wish to look. Ned Flanders: [hangs up] Oh, it's that darn recording again. Maude Flanders: Of course it was. It's been calling all night. Just unplug the phone. Ned Flanders: [Ned turns out the light and the phone rings again] Howdily-di. Homer Simpson: Greetings, friends. Ned Flanders: [hangs up] Dang! Maude Flanders: I told you to unplug the phone. Ned Flanders: But it could be my mother! [the phone rings] Howdy... Homer Simpson: Greetings, friends... Ned Flanders: [hangs up] Shoot! Maude Flanders: That is it, Ned! If you don't unplug that phone right now, you're sleeping on the lawn. Homer Simpson: [out his window] Will you two shut up? People are trying to sleep! |
 | Season 8 / Episode 4: - Burns, Baby Burns Ned Flanders: Ho ho ho, suckin' down the cider, uh? Hey, word to the wise... Ned Flanders: season pass. It pays for itself after the sixteenth visit. You know, most people don't know the difference between apple cider and apple juice, but I do. Now here's a little trick to help you remember. If it's clear and yella', you've got juice there, fella. If it's tangy and brown, you're in cider town. Now, there's two exceptions and it gets kinda tricky here... Homer's Brain: You can stay, but I'm leaving. Ned Flanders: ...can be yellow, if they're using late season apples. And, of course, in Canada, the whole thing's flip-flopped. |
 | Season 8 / Episode 2: - You Only Move Twice Ned Flanders: Uh, huh-huh... Homer, ah... About those things you borrowed from me over the years, you know, the TV trays, the power sander, the downstairs bathtub... You gonna be... needing those things in Cypress Creek? Homer: Yes. Ned Flanders: Oh. Uh... Homer: [coaches Flanders] Okily dokily... Ned Flanders: Okily dokily! |
 | Season 7 / Episode 16: - Lisa the Iconoclast Mayor Quimby: Congratulations Ned, you are our new town crier. May your shrill, nasal voice ring throughout our streets and brains. Ned Flanders: Thankily-dank, Mayor, I shan't disappoint. Har ye, har ye. I declare myself pinkled tink about Springfield's Bicen-cidilly-ti-ten-toodly-rin-tin-tennial Day. Homer: You suck-diddily-uck, Flanders. Gimme that. Homer: Hear ye. Hear ye. Ye olde town crier proclaimed crappy by all. Chooseth Homer Simpson, and he shalt rock thy world. Chief Wiggum: Good God, he is fabulous. Principal Skinner: He's embiggened that role with that cromulent performance. |
 | Season 7 / Episode 13: - Two Bad Neighbors Dr. Julius Hibbert: [confused] I don't understand. Are you saying you and Barbara are bad neighbours? George Bush: [annoyed] No, its not Bar and me. It's them! Ned Flanders: Who, Maude and me? George Bush: No, the man and his boy. Ya know. The boy is named Bart. I don't know the name of the man. George Bush: Bar, what's the name of the man? Barbara Bush: [calling out to George] I'm not getting involved, George! |
 | Season 7 / Episode 6: - Treehouse of Horror VI Ned Flanders: [looking for Homer] Well, as the tree said to the lumberjack, "I'm stumped." Selma: Huh. It's like he just disappeared into fat air. |
 | Season 7 / Episode 4: - Bart Sells His Soul Girl with Sore Teeth: Unky Moe? Moe Szyslak: [tries to hide in his anger] What is it, sweetheart? Girl with Sore Teeth: My sodey is too cold and my teeth hurt. Moe Szyslak: Oh, your teeth hurt, huh? Your teeth hurt... Moe Szyslak: Well, that's too freakin' bad, you hear me! And I'll tell you where you can put your freakin' sodey too! Tod Flanders: [gets his ears covered] Ow, my freakin' ears! Maude Flanders: Oh, let's go, dear! Ned Flanders: Well, I expect that type of language at Denny's but not here! |
 | Season 7 / Episode 3: - Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily Bart: Wow Dad, you took a baptismal for me. How do you feel? Homer: Oh Bartholomew, I feel like St. Augustine of Hippo after his conversion by Ambrose of Milan. Ned Flanders: Wait! Homer, what did you just say? Homer: I said shut your ugly face, Flanders! |
| Season 7 / Episode 3: - Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily Ned Flanders: Until this, I never thought Homer and Marge were bad parents, but now I know you kids need a less hellbound family! Maude Flanders: Just sit back, and before you know it, you'll be part of the Flanders flock. Bart: Ha ha! You're going to be Lisa Flanders! Lisa Simpson: You're going to be "Bart" Flanders. Maude Flanders: Oh, relax, Bart. Your sister Maggie isn't scared. Bart: That's because she can't talk. Maggie Simpson: [as she pulls her pacifier out] Daddily doodily! |
 | Season 6 / Episode 25: - Who Shot Mr. Burns? (1) Lisa Simpson: [on the phone] Oh, no! That's awful, Mr. Puente. What? Oh, he owns the nuclear power plant. Yeah, I'd like to settle his hash, too. [hangs up the phone] Dad, how can you work for a man like Mr. Burns? Homer: Well, he's not all bad. He did send me this nice thank-you card. Lisa Simpson: Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie. Dad, this doesn't have your name on it. Homer: Kids, would you step outside for a second? Homer: [inhales deeply] F... Ned Flanders: Dear Lord! That's the loudest profanity I've ever heard! |
 | Season 6 / Episode 24: - Lemon of Troy Ned Flanders: Pardon me, neighbourinos. Some of our boys are lost in your town. You wouldn't have happenned to see them, by any chance? Shelbyvillian #1: Sounds like Springfield's got a discipline problem. Shelbyvillian #2: Maybe that's why we beat them at football nearly half the time. |
| Season 6 / Episode 24: - Lemon of Troy Bart: Eat my shorts, Shelbyville! Homer, Bart: Eat my shorts! Ned Flanders: Yes, eat all of our shirts! |
 | Season 6 / Episode 21: - The PTA Disbands Ned Flanders: Well, I guess this is a case where we'll have to agree to disagree. Principal Skinner: I don't agree to that. Mrs. Krabappel: Neither do I. |
 | Season 6 / Episode 18: - A Star is Burns Tod Flanders: Help meeeeeeeeeee...! Ned Flanders: [praying] Flanders to God, Flanders to God! Get off your cloud and save my Tod! Ned Flanders: Thanks, God! God: [from heaven] Okily-dokily! |
 | Season 6 / Episode 15: - Homie the Clown Ned Flanders: Whew, good thing I always keep a Bible next to my... Ned Flanders: Whew, luckily I was wearing an extra large piece of the True Cross today. I think I'll go inside. Homer: What keeps doing that? Fat Tony: I told you we should have bought more than three bullets. |
 | Season 6 / Episode 1: - Bart of Darkness Bart: [the night after Bart hears a woman scream from Flanders's house, Bart sees Flanders digging a hole in his backyard] Bart: This can't be what it looks like. There's gotta be some other explanation! Ned Flanders: I wish there was some other explanation for this. But there isn't. I'm a murderer, I'm a murderer! Bart: Then that's not the real Ned Flanders. Ned Flanders: I'm a mur-diddly-urdler! Bart: If that's not Flanders, he's done his homework. |
 | Season 5 / Episode 19: - Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song Ned Flanders: Let's thank the Lord for another beautiful day. Superintendent Chalmers: "Thank the Lord"? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school. God has no place within these walls, just like facts don't have a place within an organized religion. |
 | Season 5 / Episode 16: - Homer Loves Flanders Homer: God, if you really are God, you'll get me tickets to that game. Ned Flanders: Heidely-ho, neighbor. Wanna go to the game with me? I got two tick... Homer: [slams the door, looks heavenward] Why do you mock me, O Lord? Marge: Homer, that's not God. That's just a waffle that Bart tossed up there. Homer: I know I shouldn't eat thee, but... Homer: Mmm, sacrilicious. |
| Season 5 / Episode 16: - Homer Loves Flanders Maude Flanders: [Fleeing in their car as Homer chases them down the street] Come on, Ned. Move this thing. Ned Flanders: [Yelling in frustration] I can't! It's a Geo! |
 | Season 5 / Episode 12: - Bart Gets Famous Marge: I saved these for you, Bart. You'll always have them to remind you of the time when you were the whole world's special little guy. Bart: Thanks, Mom. Lisa: And now you can go back to just being you, instead of a one-dimensional character with a silly catchphrase. Homer: [breaks lamp] D'oh! Bart: Aye Carumba. Marge: Hmmmmm. Maggie: [sucks pacifier] Ned Flanders: Hidely-ho. Barney Gumble: [belches] Nelson: Ha-ha. Mr. Burns: Excellent. Lisa: If anyone wants me, I'll be in my room. Homer: What kind of catchphrase is that? |
 | Season 5 / Episode 8: - Boy-Scoutz 'n the Hood Ned Flanders: Hi-di-ly-hey, Camper Bart! You ready for today's meeting? Bart: [saluting] You know-dilly know it, Neddy! Ned Flanders: Okily-dokily! |
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