Lisa Simpson

The Simpsons

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Played by:

Yeardley Smith
Comic actress and voice specialist Yeardley Smith has made a virtue out of her odd looks, small figure ...

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Lisa Simpson Quotes

	Season 21 / Episode 4: - Treehouse of Horror XX Lisa Simpson: Apu, how did you survive? Apu: As a vegetarian, I did not eat any tainted burgers. And as a convenience store owner, I'm armed to the teeth.
	Season 20 / Episode 21: - Coming to Homerica Homer Simpson: I share your xylophobia! Lisa Simpson: No, Dad, you mean "xenophobia". Xylophobia would be the fear of xylophones. Homer Simpson: I am afraid of xylophones. It's the music you hear when skeletons are dancing!
	Season 20 / Episode 20: - Four Great Women and a Manicure Lisa Simpson: This bed's too hard. This bed's too soft. This bed is just... like the first one, also too hard. I guess I'll sleep in the one that's too soft.
	Season 20 / Episode 19: - Waverly Hills, 9021-D'Oh Lisa Simpson: It says here that Springfield Elementary is so bad it's two deviations below the norm. Homer Simpson: Oh, I can't understand that math reference because I went to Springfield Elementary!
	Season 20 / Episode 18: - Father Knows Worst Homer Simpson: Ooh, lamb kebab! Homer Simpson: Ooh, chicken kebab! Homer Simpson: [grabbing a lit fire juggling stick] Ooh, fire kebab! Lisa Simpson: Dad, no! Bart Simpson: [cutting in front of Lisa] Dad, yes!
	Season 20 / Episode 18: - Father Knows Worst Marge Simpson: Here, Homer. Have some beets. I boiled all the red out of them. Homer Simpson: Oh, I can still taste undercurrents of pink. Lisa Simpson: Here, dad. Maybe this will help. Homer Simpson: It feels like food, but it has no flavor whatsoever! What is it? Lisa Simpson: Mac and cheese from the school cafeteria. The blandest food known to man.
	Season 20 / Episode 18: - Father Knows Worst Lisa Simpson: Dad, if I join a clique, I'd become someone I hate. Homer Simpson: Lisa, our country was founded by a clique, the Continental Congress. Dolphins live in cliques. Those are my two examples. Lisa Simpson: Those are good examples.
	Season 20 / Episode 18: - Father Knows Worst Lisa Simpson: Dad, I don't want to hurt people. Homer Simpson: Very well. I guess you don't need this big girl book. Lisa Simpson: I'm a big girl!
	Season 20 / Episode 15: - Wedding For Disaster Bart Simpson: So if you weren't married, does that mean I'm a bastard? Lisa Simpson: We were borned when they were married, so in the literal sense, no. But in the sense of someone being angry at you, yes.
	Season 20 / Episode 15: - Wedding For Disaster Lisa Simpson: Dad couldn't have ditched us. He would never leave a wings bar. And he loves mom and us, yadda yadda.
	Season 20 / Episode 14: - In the Name of the Grandfather Bart Simpson: A house and garden show? [Bart, Lisa and Homer groan] You told me we were going to a video game expo! Lisa Simpson: You told me we were going to clean trash on the freeway! Homer Simpson: You told me something but I wasn't listening!
	Season 20 / Episode 14: - In the Name of the Grandfather Lisa Simpson: Ireland is the leader in communication technologies in all of Europe. Bart Simpson: Take that, Belgium! Marge Simpson: Bart, if you hate Belgium so much, I'll take away your Tin Tins. Bart Simpson: No, I'll be good!
	Season 20 / Episode 12: - No Loan Again, Naturally Homer Simpson: Now he's nailing something to our door. Lisa Simpson: Hmm. I wonder if it's theses? Homer Simpson: Eww, that's gross.
	Season 20 / Episode 11: - How the Test Was Won Lisa Simpson: 96%? What did I get wrong? Superintendent Chalmers: Several questions. Lisa Simpson: Several? That's more than a few, and almost a bunch.
	Season 20 / Episode 11: - How the Test Was Won Lisa Simpson: [Thinking] Let's move on to question two. "Question two: using what you've learned from question one..." Lisa Simpson: [Out loud] Aaargh!
	Season 20 / Episode 11: - How the Test Was Won Lisa Simpson: Bart, what did you put on question 36? Bart Simpson: Slurp my snot! Lisa Simpson: Bart! Bart Simpson: That was my answer. I wrote down "Slurp my snot" in the answer sheet. Lisa Simpson: Dad, Bart's throwing away his future! Homer Simpson: Oh, no! Now who will sell oranges on the offramp? [laughs and high-fives Bart]
	Season 20 / Episode 9: - Lisa the Drama Queen Bart Simpson: Why do we have to go to the rec center? I wanna play with my friends. Homer Simpson: When you're older, you'll miss going to these little activities. Lisa Simpson: Why aren't you going to these little activities? Homer Simpson: Uh, because no one can make me.
	Season 20 / Episode 9: - Lisa the Drama Queen Lisa Simpson: Excuse me, do you have any more paints? This orange doesn't quite match that orange.
	Season 20 / Episode 9: - Lisa the Drama Queen Lisa Simpson: Juliet's father is the utmost John Grisham scholar. Juliet Hobbes: He found several hidden plot lines in The Firm, and proved that the real villain in A Time To Kill is the justice system itself. Homer Simpson: Told ya, Marge. Told... Ya!
	Season 20 / Episode 9: - Lisa the Drama Queen Lisa Simpson: You can't keep us apart. I'll disobey! Marge Simpson: I'm Bart Simpson's mother. You think you know any tricks I haven't seen? [after Marge leaves, Lisa sneaks out the window and climbs down the tree, but Marge is waiting beneath with a laundry basket] Bart Simpson, age 3. [after they leave, Bart comes out of a hidden door in the tree, wearing ninja clothes and holding a skateboard] Bart Simpson: Bart Simpson, age 10.
	Season 20 / Episode 8: - The Burns and the Bees Lisa Simpson: I'll miss them. Marge Simpson: Now you know how I'll feel when you go off to college. Lisa Simpson: Don't worry, mom. You'll always have Bart. Always. Marge Simpson: But he'll be away fixing refrigerators. Lisa Simpson: Always!
	Season 20 / Episode 8: - The Burns and the Bees Lisa Simpson: Mr. Burns, you can't do that. Mr. Burns: I can, I am, and soon I shall have been. I'm unstoppable! [Turns around and walks into a tree] Have his acorns killed and make him watch.
	Season 20 / Episode 8: - The Burns and the Bees Lisa Simpson: Listen, people. You didn't listen to me about the darter snail, you didn't listen to me about the osprey, and you didn't listen to me about the jabalina. Lenny: The feisty pig of the desert? Lisa Simpson: Apparently, not feisty enough.
	Season 20 / Episode 7: - Mypods and Boomsticks Marge Simpson: Remember, we each get to return one Christmas gift without complaining. Lisa Simpson: I'm returning this kitten calendar. [Calendar has "from Bart" sticker on it] Homer Simpson: I'm also returning the kitten calendar. Marge Simpson: Kitten calendar. [Maggie holds up calendar] Bart Simpson: Fine. That's the last time I shop for all of you at the last minute.
	Season 20 / Episode 7: - Mypods and Boomsticks Lisa Simpson: I got a gift from Mapple! Their packaging is so beautiful. I never thought a company would be my soulmate.
	Season 20 / Episode 6: - Homer and Lisa Exchange Cross Words Lisa Simpson: Guess what, mom? I'm a cruciverbalist! Marge Simpson: Oh, Lisa, another religion? You know, you'll just drop the whole thing at college when you get a Jewish boyfriend.
	Season 20 / Episode 6: - Homer and Lisa Exchange Cross Words Homer Simpson: Sweety, will you please look at daddy! Lisa Simpson: You stopped being my daddy when you bet against me! All I have now is a mom. That's why I'm taking her maiden name. So from now on, my name is Lisa Bouvier! [Homer gasps] Nelson Muntz: Hey, Mr. S. Lisa B. Homer Simpson: Nooo! Girl: Would you like to buy some band candy? Homer Simpson: Yeees!
	Season 20 / Episode 6: - Homer and Lisa Exchange Cross Words Bart Simpson: Ice cold lemonade! Sweet sunshine in your mouth! Buy a glass or I'll punch my sister! Lisa Simpson: It's true! He's not bluffing!
	Season 20 / Episode 4: - Treehouse of Horror XIX Bart Simpson: Hey, Lis. I think I see one with your name on it. Lisa Simpson: Well, it can't possibly top your present last year: a box full of your burps. Bart Simpson: Oh, that reminds me. Here's your stocking stuffer.
	Season 20 / Episode 4: - Treehouse of Horror XIX Homer Simpson: Lisa, what's happening? Lisa Simpson: If I were to guess, I'd say two alien races who have been fighting for centuries have chosen our planet to fight their final battle. Homer Simpson: It is a good planet to settle things.

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