Homer Simpson

The Simpsons

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Played by:

Dan Castellaneta

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Episode Screenshots

Season 12, Episode 06	Season 1, Episode 10
Season 14, Episode 11	Season 9, Episode 14

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Homer Simpson Quotes

Season 9 / Episode 17: - Lisa the Simpson

Homer Simpson: I rounded up every Simpson in the tri-city area so I can prove to you there's nothing wrong with the Simpson genes. This is your great uncle Chet. Go ahead, Chet, tell her what you do.
Great Uncle Chet: I run an unsuccessful shrimp company.
Homer Simpson: [nervously] Oh... but you *run* it, right?
Great Uncle Chet: [smugly] Oh, yeah.
Homer Simpson: Okay... uh, this is your second cousin, Stanley!
Cousin Stanley: Um, I shoot birds at the airport.
Homer Simpson: [More nervously] Everybody hates birds, right? [Homer frantically looks for a successful relative and spots a dapper man smoking a cigar.] You look pretty successful!
Simpson Relative 1: Thanks! I play a millionaire at parties. [sighs defeatedly] At least, I'd like to.
Bart Simpson: You probably should have researched this first, eh dad?
Homer Simpson: What about you?
Simpson Relative 2: Well, sir, I step in front of cars and sue the drivers.
Simpson Relative 3: I beg celebrities for money!
Simpson Relative 4: I'm a prison snitch.
Simpson Relative 5: Jug band manager.
Simpson Relative 6: My legs hurt.

Season 13 / Episode 10: - Half-Decent Proposal

Marge Simpson: I haven't lost so much sleep since little Barty had the scoots.
Dr. Hibbert: Well, there's a surgical option, but it's not cheap. [Writes something on a slip of paper, and slides it across his desk to Homer] Here's what it costs.
Homer Simpson: [Reads paper] Interesting. Here's my counter-offer. [Writes something on the paper and gives it back to Hibbert]
Dr. Hibbert: [Reads. The note says, "Do it for free"] [Chuckles, then turns very serious] Get out.

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