The Secret Life of the American Teenager Quotes

The Secret Life of the American Teenager

- Episode Quotes

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The Secret Life of the American Teenager Quotes

	Season 1 / Episode 22: - One Night at Band Camp Amy Juergens: [starts to feel a particularly strong contraction] Oh, no. Get Mom. George Juergens: [begins to panic] Hold my hand. [to Ashley] Find your mother, hurry! [to Amy] Ow, baby, ow! Amy Juergens: What are you screaming about? George Juergens: Your nails! Ow! [Amy lets go and begins to cry] Oh, baby. Amy Juergens: Ow. I can't do this. I can't. Ow. George Juergens: Then don't. Just don't. Amy Juergens: [really begins to cry now] Daddy, help me. George Juergens: Oh honey, I wish I could. I wish I could. Amy Juergens: [still crying] I need Mom, it really hurts! George Juergens: Okay, okay, just hold on. Ashley went to go get your mother. It's going to be okay, all right? I promise you everything's going to be okay. [George gets upset as Amy winces terribly, her face scrunched up] Oh, sweetie.
	Season 1 / Episode 18: - Making Up Is Hard To Do George Juergens: When was the last time you had fun? Amy Juergens: [looks down] George Juergens: Do NOT say at band camp.
	Season 1 / Episode 17: - Unforgiven Grace Bowman: God help Adrian, because she's a bitch!
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - Baked Nevada Anne Juergens: You can't run away from this, Amy. You have to face the fact that you are halfway through your pregnancy, and the baby's going to be here before you know it. Amy Juergens: [gasps suddenly, puts her hand on her stomach] Mom, I think the baby agrees with you. [sinks onto the bed, Anne and Ben following anxiously] I think it might be coming right now. [puts her hand on her stomach, gasps again] Mom, it's moving. It's really moving. [exchanges a glance with Ben] I thought I felt it before but I wasn't sure. Now I'm sure. Ben Boykewich: [concerned] Do you want me to call an ambulance? Anne Juergens: [smiling] It's okay. It's supposed to move. The baby's not coming right now. But it is coming. Amy Juergens: Mom, I don't think I can do this. Anne Juergens: You can do this, Amy. You can. You have to. [pulls Amy into her arms, Amy gasps once more] It's okay.
	Season 1 / Episode 11: - Just Say No Adrian Lee: I hate you. Ruben Enriquez: Oh, wow, what a concept. My teenage daughter hates me.
	Season 1 / Episode 11: - Just Say No Ashley Juergens: [reads aloud] You were the full moon at midnight, sending the sweetness of light into my cup of tea. [pause] Uh, she's not having sex. George Juergens: Are you sure? Ashley Juergens: Well, not good sex. George Juergens: What do you know about that? Good sex? Ashley Juergens: Dad, I know poetry and I know a cup of tea doesn't represent good sex. I don't think they're even hugging.
	Season 1 / Episode 11: - Just Say No George Juergens: I think it's time you and me have a talk. Ashley Juergens: Oh, Dad, please, this isn't the sex talk, right? George Juergens: Of course it's the sex talk. I figure if I have the sex talk with you, maybe you won't want to have sex. Ashley Juergens: Probably not. George Juergens: Okay, this is all you need to know... Ashley Juergens: [interrupts] Dad, I have internet access and a pregnant sister. I know where babies come from.
	Season 1 / Episode 9: - Slice of Life Grace Bowman: Oh, my parents have plenty of sex. Adrian Lee: How do you know? Grace Bowman: I'm just assuming...
	Season 1 / Episode 9: - Slice of Life Ricky Underwood: C'mon Adrian, I can't go this long without you... or someone. Adrian Lee: Thanks... I'm sure you mean that as a compliment.
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - Your Cheatin' Heart Ricky Underwood: Hey, it's Madison right? Madison Cooperstein: What do you want? And if it's sex, forget it. Ricky Underwood: No, but thank you for offering.
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - Absent Ashley Juergens: I know everything and I have condoms.
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - Absent Ashley Juergens: Okay, now I see how this happened.
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - Absent Amy Juergens: [hears a knock on the door and thinks it's Ricky; flings open the door] What? Ben Boykewich: [in an apologetic voice] I was hiding in the bushes. I hope you don't mind. I was coming up the walk and I saw your dad pull up and I knew Ricky was inside so I- [Amy gives a relieved sigh and pulls Ben into her arms; Ben puts his arms around her, smiling] -got stuck. Amy Juergens: I don't mind. I don't mind at all. [They stay that way for a few moments until Amy feels the baby] [gasps slightly] Oh. Ben Boykewich: [quietly] No, no, no. Stay. It's okay. Amy Juergens: That bump? That's not me. It's the baby. Ben Boykewich: Yeah, I thought so. [smiles] The baby. Don't shut me out, Amy. Please don't shut me out.
	Season 1 / Episode 6: - Love for Sale Ashley Juergens: So am I going to school or what? Anne: No, not today. You should've told me about this. Ashley Juergens: That's my punishment for not telling you? Not going to school? Fine.
	Season 1 / Episode 6: - Love for Sale Amy Juergens: Ben, I already told my mother that it's Ricky's baby. Adrian Lee: What'd you do that for? Ben Boykewich: Can you stay out of this, please? [turns to Amy] What'd you do that for?
	Season 1 / Episode 5: - What Have You Done to Me? Amy Juergens: I'm such a whore. Ben Boykewich: Yes, but you're my whore.
	Season 1 / Episode 5: - What Have You Done to Me? Amy Juergens: I'm such a whore! Ben Boykewich: Yeah, but you're my whore.
	Season 1 / Episode 3: - I Feel Sick Anne Juergens: Give me a break! She's thirteen, you pervert!
	Season 1 / Episode 3: - I Feel Sick Amy Juergens: [tries to button up her pants and gives up] How am I going to fix this? Madison Cooperstein: Fix what? [awkward silence] Well, are we talking about it or not? Amy Juergens: Yeah. I mean, we're talking about the fact that my clothes no longer fit because I'm fat. Madison Cooperstein: Well, maybe we can get you like a big safety pin. You know, like the giant pins they put on... diapers? Lauren Treacy: And how long is that going to work? Amy Juergens: Okay, why are you always so negative? Lauren Treacy: I'm not negative, but sooner or later, you're going to have to tell your parents that you're... fat... and why you're fat.
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - You Are My Everything Marshall: Do yourself a very big favor, okay? Go home before I pummel you. Jack Pappas: I thought you were a Christian. Marshall: Oh, that's right, I'm a Christian, so first I will smite you then I will pummel you. Go home.
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - You Are My Everything Ben Boykewich: My dad married the first girl he ever dated, they were eighteen when they got married. Alice Valko: That's different, that was in the eighties. Everyone was coked out and disco dancing back then. No one really knew what they were doing. Ben Boykewich: My parents never did coke. Disco... yeah.
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - You Are My Everything Marshall Bowman: [Jack comes to the Bowman house at night, asking to speak to Grace] Look, do yourself a very big favor, okay? Go home... before I pummel you. Jack Pappas: ...I thought you were a Christian. Marshall Bowman: Oh, that's right, I'm a Christian. So first, I will smite you, then I will pummel you. Go home.
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - You Are My Everything Adrian Lee: You can't be serious. You can't be interested in that... child! [referring to Amy] Ricky Underwood: You know, some girls do it without broadcasting it to the whole school. Some girls are more discreet about their sex life than you are. Some girls have class.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Falling In Love Lauren Treacy: I just think you should see a doctor. And I would go to a doctor before you go to whoever this guy is. There may be something else wrong with you that's making you test for pregnancy, even though you're not pregnant. Madison Cooperstein: Oh yeah, like the monkey pox or like a flesh eating virus or something! I mean, that would be a relief! Amy Juergens: No, no, it would, she's right, I-I'm calling my doctor. Lauren Treacy: Wait, you're calling your doctor? Don't you think your mother should do that? Amy Juergens: You don't think I'm telling my mother about this, do you? Lauren Treacy: You have to! Either you're sick or you're pregnant! She's going to find out sooner or later. Madison Cooperstein: Why? Lauren Treacy: Because... she'll either die or have a baby.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Falling In Love Ben Boykewich: [at the end of his first talk with the new counselor] Oh, uh, could I have a condom? Marcelino Molina: ...For what? Ben Boykewich: You're going to need to know what a condom's for if you're going to make it in this job, Mark. Marcelino Molina: ...Get out of my office!
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Falling In Love Ashley Juergens: [at the dinner table, talking about her day at school] Why do these people think there's something wrong with a belly button? It's not like everyone doesn't have one. I mean, I have one, they have one, you have one. Personally, I don't see the big deal if it shows, I mean, it's not like anyone else is covering their buttons... Anne Juergens: Well, they're supposed to. It's in the dress code. Ashley Juergens: Yes, Mother, but no one pays attention to the dress code.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Falling In Love Jack Pappas: [in a football huddle in the locker room before a game] Father, forgive us for our many sins, for not being strong when temptation leads us astray... Give us the strength to do thy will... especially when it's much easier to give in to the pleasures of the flesh... Let us not be distracted by the women who are here to lead us in to situations that would lead us straight into hell and destroy our souls forever... but to cheer us on to victory... their short skirts and tight sweaters... and hot bodies...
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Falling In Love Jack Pappas: [in a football huddle in the locker room before a game] Father, forgive us for our many sins, for not being strong when temptation leads us astray... Give us the strength to do thy will... especially when it's much easier to give in to the pleasures of the flesh... Let us not be distracted by the women who are here to lead us in to situations that would lead us straight into hell and destroy our souls forever... but to cheer us on to victory... with their short skirts and tight sweaters... and hot bodies...
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Falling In Love Amy Juergens: It was nothing! Lauren Treacy: Okay, by nothing, you mean what? Amy Juergens: It was... not that great? Madison Cooperstein: And by not that great, you mean...? Amy Juergens: I'm not even sure it was sex, okay, guys? Lauren Treacy: Why not? Amy Juergens: I don't know! I didn't exactly realize what was happening until, like, after two seconds, and then it was just over. And it wasn't fun, and definitely not like what you see in the movies, you know, all romantic and stuff.
	Unknown Episode: Anne Juergens: Hurry up, you're gonna be late for school Ashley Juergens: At least I won't be late for my period

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