Di Di Malloy

The Riches

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Played by:

Shannon Marie Woodward

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Di Di Malloy Quotes

	Season 2 / Episode 1: - The Last Temptation of Wayne Dahlia Malloy: [to Cael] That's nice. That's real nice. Robbing old ladies, now? Feel good? Does it feel good? That was a shitty thing to do. And let that be your comeuponce. Di Di Malloy: Mama, I think the word is comeuppance. Dahlia Malloy: What are you, the word police? You shut your pie hole? [to Cael] Right, that's staying in the napkin, go send me a car.
	Season 1 / Episode 12: - It's a Wonderful Lie Di Di Malloy: It's not what it looks like, okay. Nina: Nothing's what it looks like, hun.
	Season 1 / Episode 10: - This Is Your Brain On Drugs Wayne Malloy: So, Di Di. Di Di Malloy: Huh? Wayne Malloy: [sighs and gives Cheriene's mother a pancake from the frying pan] Here you go, mom. Cherien's Mother: [smiling] You're not Doug. Wayne Malloy: And you're not my mom. But we're having fun with pancakes, aren't we?
	Season 1 / Episode 10: - This Is Your Brain On Drugs Dahlia Malloy: And you know what else I been thinking, Wayne. We need to get us an Ishka. We need to clear all this shit out, do a cleansing. All of us, together. Remember, like that time in Kentucky, we went into the river, with all the snow on the rocks? Wayne Malloy: Now? Dahlia Malloy: Yeah. I'm sure there's a cold river around here somewhere. Wayne Malloy: No. Dahlia Malloy: Yeah. Cleansing, baby, cleansing. Cael Malloy: Now? Dahlia Malloy: Yeah. Oh come on, let's just do it. Cael Malloy: School bus is gonna be here any minute. Di Di Malloy: Mom, you know I got a math quiz today. I can't just go jump into a river. Sorry. Sam Malloy: It's library day, I gotta return my books, otherwise I can't get new ones. Cherien's Mother: Banana.
	Season 1 / Episode 10: - This Is Your Brain On Drugs Wayne Malloy: Di Di? Di Di Malloy: Dad, we only did it once. We used protection. I don't know how I feel about it. Okay?
	Season 1 / Episode 10: - This Is Your Brain On Drugs Di Di Malloy: [to Cael] You know, I used to look up to you. But I don't even know who you are anymore.
	Season 1 / Episode 9: - Cinderella Dahlia Malloy: [to the children] She's senile. Cherien's Mother: You're not Cherien. Dahlia Malloy: Well, mostly senile. It's Cherien's Mom. Di Di Malloy: Wait, I thought she was in a nursing home.
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - X Spots the Mark Wayne Malloy: Speaking of strangers, where the hell is your mother? Sam Malloy: You said she was with her friend. Wayne Malloy: She is. She's with her old friend Chunky K. Di Di Malloy: I'm sorry, but does anyone else think that the name Chunky K is hilarious? Cael Malloy: Better than Fatty K. Wayne Malloy: Well, she was Fatty K, then Jenny Craig got involved. Sam Malloy: You know, we really shouldn't make fun of Mom's friend. Wayne Malloy: We're not making fun of her. That's her name. Ms. Chunky K. If I was to call her Ms. Slightly Heavy K, then that would be making fun of her. But she prefers Chunky, that's how she introduced herself.
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - X Spots the Mark Sam Malloy: Can I ask you a question? Chunky K: Hit me. Sam Malloy: What were you in prison for? Wayne Malloy: That's private, Sam. Chunky K: There's nothing private about me. You are like my family. In fact, just call me, Aunt Chunky. Cael Malloy: Okay, Aunt Chunky. Di Di Malloy: Yeah, that sounds good, Aunt Chunky. Chunky K: I committed a murder, Sam.
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - X Spots the Mark Hugh Panetta: [Sam, pretending to be Sam Rich comes downstairs to a formal dinner in a dress.] Who's this pretty lady? And where's your other son, Doug? Didn't you say you have two? Wayne Malloy: [pretending to be Doug Rich] This is my son, Hugh. This is Sam. Nina: I hear he loves the theatre. Di Di Malloy: [pretending to be Di Di Rich] Oh, yes, he does. We're actually just on our way to the school play after we finish eating. Isn't that right, Sam? [Sam nods in agreement] Hugh Panetta: Well, sorry, partner, I didn't recognize you as a member of the B-Team. Sam Malloy: [pretending to be Sam Rich] What's the B-Team? Hugh Panetta: Boys. The boys' team.
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - Virgin Territory Di Di Malloy: This is insane, Dad. Wayne Malloy: Why? Di Di Malloy: Because we can't do this. Half a million dollars? I mean, we don't even know what that means.
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - Virgin Territory Di Di Malloy: Dad, you stole forty grand from that guys' safe. Cael Malloy: That Hugh guy can't prove anything. Dahlia Malloy: It don't matter. He can still fire us. Wayne Malloy: That's why we gotta get it back.
	Season 1 / Episode 5: - The Big Floss Ken Dannegan: You musta been around nine or ten years old. That was the night I fell in love with you. Di Di Malloy: Yeah, Ken. Around here we call that pedophilia.
	Season 1 / Episode 5: - The Big Floss Di Di Malloy: [about Ken] Why does he have to stay with us? Dahlia Malloy: 'Cause, you know, a fiancé always stays with the in-laws in the run-up to the weeding. It's tradition. Di Di Malloy: Well, I'm not gonna marry him. Dahlia Malloy: Well it's tradition. That's all im saying. It goes all the way back to the Middle Ages in Ireland. It's your tradition.
	Season 1 / Episode 5: - The Big Floss Ken Dannegan: I got something for you. [gives her a diamond ring] Di Di Malloy: Holy shit!
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Been There, Done That Eric: Who was that? Wayne Malloy: [pretending to be Doug Rich] This'll be Ken. Ken Danegan: Di Di's fiancé. Di Di Malloy: [pretending to be Di Di Rich] What?
	Season 1 / Episode 3: - Operation Education Di Di Malloy: [pretending to be Di Di Rich, about the Buchanan's] But no, I don't think that they ever accepted him, because he wasn't born like them-rich. You know, he had all that money, and he threw all those parties and stuff, but when it really comes down to it, people just want to stick to their own kind. Teacher: Hmm. But Gatsby had money. Why wasn't he happy? Di Di Malloy: [pretending to be Di Di Rich] Well, all the money in the world couldn't buy what he really wanted-the girl. You know, money isn't everything. I guess... he just never really figured that out.
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - Believe the Lie Di Di Malloy: [to Wayne] Dad, do we really have to do this?
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - Believe the Lie Dahlia Malloy: Di Di, what's your name? Di Di Malloy: My name's Delilah Rich from Tampa. Dahlia Malloy: Hobbies? Di Di Malloy: Fencing, skiing, racquetball and sex. [Dahlia slaps her on the shoulder] Ow! Chess. Dahlia Malloy: Cut the sass!
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - Believe the Lie Dahlia Malloy: There ain't nobody gon' tell me I don't care about my kids. Di Di Malloy: You can't lose it. Dahlia Malloy: Yeah, we will.
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - Believe the Lie Sam Malloy: Give me the bird. Di Di Malloy: Get her over here. Sam Malloy: [calling Jane Fedley] Over here.
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - Believe the Lie Di Di Malloy: [about Tammy] Did you tell her where we are? Cael Malloy: Yeah, Dee. I gave her the address, cause I'm that dumb.
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - Believe the Lie Di Di Malloy: School? Who wants to learn a bunch of buffer bullshit? Wayne Malloy: School is the cornerstone of buffer society.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Di Di Malloy: You just beat up a one-armed woman. Dahlia Malloy: Well, how was I supposed to know? [starts to walk away] I ain't never, I ain't never seen anything like that before.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Di Di Malloy: Honestly, who spends four hundred and fifty dollars on one pair of shoes...? Sam Malloy: Try really rich guy. Di Di Malloy: ...and she buys three or four at a time. Dahlia Malloy: I know! And everyone of them butt ugly. No taste. Wayne Malloy: Try rich dead guy!
	Unknown Episode: Di Di Malloy: Who's most likely to get married? Wayne Malloy: Uh, Billy Burke and Shannon Firmington. Di Di Malloy: Farmington! Shannon Farmington. Wayne Malloy: And Shannon Farmington. It was a three-some.
	Unknown Episode: Dahlia Malloy: What y'all think about my hair? Di Di Malloy: It's different. Dahlia Malloy: Wow, you've grown up girl... beautiful Cael Malloy: That's some real bad hair, Ma.
	Unknown Episode: Di Di Malloy: You're sleeping out here, huh? Cael Malloy: Yeah. If you people want to wake up with no soul, that's your problem, not mine.
	Unknown Episode: Dahlia Malloy: We're going home. Di Di Malloy: Home? Cael Malloy: She means camp. Di Di Malloy: What about Dad? Dahlia Malloy: Your Dad's staying here. Di Di Malloy: Well fine, then I'm staying here too. Wayne Malloy: Don't be stupid, go with your Mother. Di Di Malloy: She doesn't give a shit about me. I'm staying here. If we run into any more trouble, we'll just find ourselves some more dead buffers. Wayne Malloy: Stop it, Di Di. Dahlia Malloy: [reaching for her arm] Come on, baby. Di Di Malloy: No, I said I'm staying. Don't push me. - I know more than you think.
	Unknown Episode: Di Di Malloy: [to Trooper Yardley] Travelers? I don't think we know any travelers.

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