The Pretender Quotes

The Pretender

- Episode Quotes

Fun Facts:

	Season 3 / Episode 10: - Mr. Lee Broots: Mrs. Parker thats a wall! Miss Parker: Yeah, and this is a rental.
	Season 3 / Episode 1: - Crazy Dr. Goetz: What is your name? Jarod: Jarod. Dr. Goetz: And your last name? Jarod: It changes every week...
	Season 2 / Episode 13: - A Stand Up Guy Miss Parker: [phone rings] What? Jarod: Well, well, well, long time no see. And how's life treating you? Miss Parker: Like he caught me in bed with his wife.
	Season 2 / Episode 12: - Toy Surprise Miss Parker: I want to kill her not screw her.
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - Past Sim Jarod: I killed a man today, Sydney. I killed him as if I'd pulled the trigger myself. Sydney: Jarod... Jarod: Simulation 2578. You told me it was a rescue scenario. And then I see it used in the killing of a federal agent and the abduction of an innocent woman. Miss Parker: The Centre is not in the abduction business. Jarod: Well, you tell that to Emma Barrett. It's Lyle, isn't it? Miss Parker: What are you talking about? Jarod: I'm talking about lies. I'm talking about how innocent people have died because of the way you use my simulations. You used me! Well, no one is going to die anymore. If it's a war the Centre wants, it's what you will get. But I promise you, Emma Barrett will not be the next casualty.
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - Past Sim Miss Parker: Jarod will take the use of his simulation as a personal attack. Mr. Lyle: That sounds like a threat. Sydney: To involve Jarod as an accessory to murder and kidnapping, that is asking for retribution the likes of which you can't even imagine. Mr. Lyle: I'll take that under advisement.
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - Nip and Tuck Miss Parker: Broots may be an idiot, but he's my idiot. I'm the only one who gets to terrorize him.
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Back From The Dead Again Broots: I'm tellin' you, all the weirdness around here is courtesy of Mr. Skin Grafts himself.
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Back From The Dead Again Miss Parker: Score one for Captain Kangaroo.
	Season 1 / Episode 22: - The Dragon House (2) Sydney: Just let this quack handle it, hmm?
	Season 1 / Episode 20: - Baby Love Broots: What died down here? Miss Parker: What didn't?
	Season 1 / Episode 20: - Baby Love Jarod: You're a garbage man? Axe: "Sanitation Engineer."
	Season 1 / Episode 15: - Jaroldo! Miss Parker: I regret not going to the prom. I regret laughing at my first boyfriend when he told me I was the one. And in this instant, I regret not having a nicotine patch the size of a doormat.
	Season 1 / Episode 14: - Ranger Jarod Nia: Disturbance in the Force? Jarod: Uhhh, the Force? Nia: Obi-Wan Kenobi? [Jarod looks at Nia in confusion] Nia: Star Wars? Jarod: The Satellite Missile Defense System?
	Season 1 / Episode 14: - Ranger Jarod Stan Conrad: So Forest, where did you do your mountain training? Jarod: In the mountains, mostly. Stan Conrad: Yeah. No, seriously, where were you stationed? Fort Lewis? Jarod: You were in the Army too? Stan Conrad: Fifteen years. You ever come across a Sgt. Tripcheck? A Ranger instructor at Benning? Jarod: Sounds familiar. Nia: He's lying, Stan. He's really one of the Stooges. Stan Conrad: You two know each other? Nia: We ran into each other once.
	Season 1 / Episode 14: - Ranger Jarod Nia: So, who am I paired with, Stan? Stan Conrad: [Looks at Jarod] Moe.
	Season 1 / Episode 14: - Ranger Jarod Nia: And before the Rangers? Jarod: A test pilot, Thoracic Surgeon, Lt. Commander on a destroyer... the usual. And what did you do before you became an outfitter? Nia: Astronaut, Olympic skater, Nobel Prize winner... the usual.
	Season 1 / Episode 14: - Ranger Jarod Jarod: Trust in the Force, young Jedi. I saw your laser disk last night.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Jarod: Who am I? Did the Centre adopt me? Was I bought or was I stolen? And where are my mom and dad? Sydney: Jarod, we've been over this a thousand times. Your parents died in a plane crash. Jarod: Yes, I know the story, Sydney. It's been burned into my brain for thirty years. But, you see, I did a little checking. There's this genetic anomaly that’s in my blood that should be in my supposed parents. But it's not. Therefore, it's impossible that I'm their son. So, the truth, for once.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Jarod: Tell me who I am. Sydney: I don't know either. At the time, I had on reason to question what the Centre told me. I swear. Jarod: Then prove it. Give me tomorrow's code to the Centre's mainframe. The truth about who I am has to be in there. Sydney: You know I can't do that. Jarod: Sydney, you stole my life! Please give it back to me.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Narrator: There are extraordinary individuals among us known as Pretenders. Geniuses with the ability to insinuate themselves into any walk of life, to literally become anyone. In 1963, a corporation called the Centre isolated one such Pretender, a young boy named Jarod. Locked in a controlled environment they exploited his genius for their "unofficial research. Then, one day, their Pretender ran away.
	Unknown Episode: Miss Parker: These are the house rules: no running, no playing, no feet on the furniture, and no noise, which includes crying and whining. Be invisible and we'll get along just fine.
	Unknown Episode: Miss Parker: These are the house rules: no running, no playing, no feet on the furniture, and no noise, which includes crying and whining. Be invisible and we'll get along just fine.
	Unknown Episode: Sydney: How do you think he will hold up? Miss Parker: Before or after he wets his pants?
	Unknown Episode: Sydney: How do you think he will hold up? Miss Parker: Before or after he wets his pants?
	Unknown Episode: Sydney: Good morning, Miss Parker. Broots. Broots: Sydney. Miss Parker: You're looking... refreshed. Sydney: New underpants will do that to you. Miss Parker: Sydney, you made a funny. Sydney: Stole it, I'm afraid. Last night, I went on a date. Broots: You had a date! Miss Parker: [to Broots] That's when two people actually meet instead of typing to each other on a computer keyboard. [to Sydney] So, if it was a date, how can you be sure that those are your underpants?
	Unknown Episode: Sydney: Good morning, Miss Parker. Broots. Broots: Sydney. Miss Parker: You're looking... refreshed. Sydney: New underpants will do that to you. Miss Parker: Sydney, you made a funny. Sydney: Stole it, I'm afraid. Last night, I went on a date. Broots: You had a date! Miss Parker: [to Broots] That's when two people actually meet instead of typing to each other on a computer keyboard. [to Sydney] So, if it was a date, how can you be sure that those are your underpants?
	Unknown Episode: Greek Lady Patient: Are you a doctor? Jarod: I am today.
	Unknown Episode: Greek Lady Patient: Are you a doctor? Jarod: I am today.
	Unknown Episode: Broots: Have you ever gone to church? Miss Parker: With all I've seen and done, a church is the last place I should be. Broots: Or the first.

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