Maurice: Mort sure likes that game.
King Julien: Yes. It keeps Mort from annoying me by touching the royal feet, so I like it too.
King Julien: I don't like it!
Maurice: But I thought you didn't like Mort touching your feet.
King Julien: Yes, but I love rejecting Mort. It makes me feel all kingly. But how am I to feel kingly now?
Maurice: Uh, the crown? The throne? The big fits of the crazies?
King Julien: Yes, those help, but the rejecting Mort... ah, that's the sweet stuff, man.
Skipper: What do you see, Private?
Private: The majestic Grand Canyon.
Skipper: I've got my eye on some kid and his beagle in a pumpkin patch. What a blockhead.
King Julien: Maurice, my yoyoyo is defective!
Maurice: Yo-yo. Two yos.
King Julien: Well mine has three yos, maybe more, but it is not working, so no-yos.
Maurice: [Takes yo-yo and does tricks with it] Seems fine to me. You just need practice.
King Julien: Practice is for those who are not perfect.
Kowalski: It's starting. The traditional first steps of the potty dance.
King Julien: I never learned that dance, because, you know, I just go wherever I am.
King Julien: What? I'm the king. It's cool
King Julien: You must be wondering about that.
Kowalski: I pass no judgement on you lemurs and your sick, depraved habits.
Private: Looks like someone got a new circuit board.
Kowalski: Yes, state of the art processor, hollah!
Private: So where did you get it?
Kowalski: Uh, I... [mumbles]
Private: Come again?
Kowalski: I got it from... [Mumbles]
Private: You got it from where?
Kowalski: I took it from Mort's video game, all right? I stole from poor, innocent Mort to fuel my own scientific ambitions! But it was totally worth it. See? [Turns on psychotron]
Private: [thoughts transmitted from psychotron] Oh, Kowalski. How could you?
Skipper: [Thoughts transmitted from phsychotron] This side of you makes me want to throw up in my beak!
Rico: [Thoughts transmitted from psychotron] Fiiiiish!
Kowalski: [Thoughts transmitted from psychotron] They're right. I'm a monster. A selfish monster!
Kowalski: Oh, what have I done? [Throws psychotron across room; King Julien enters and poses next to psychotron]
King Julien: [thoughts transmitted from psychotron] I would look good in pantaloons.
King Julien: Yes, I agree with the voice that sounds like me. Pantaloons would accent my regality, but that is not why I'm here.
Skipper: What are you doing, Private?
Private: Following the rules of the road.
Skipper: That's no way to treat fuel-injected nitro-charged motorized mayhem. Out of the car!
King Julien: Maurice, who is disturbing the royal sleep? Who? Who?
Mort: Is it the penguin in the car? Because I think it's the penguin in the car.
King Julien: Whoever it is, I want it stopped. Maurice, do something.
Maurice: What am I supposed to do? [Rico smashes the car] Other than that, which I totally did.
Private: If I didn't know any better, I'd say that car has it in for Rico.
Kowalski: Oh, Private. There you go, anthropomorphizing the inanimate, again.
Skipper: That's a lot of egghead jibber-jabber, but that doesn't explain why our car is after Rico.
Kowalski: Anthropomorphizing the inanimate with a supernatural twist? Preposterous.
Skipper: Maybe so, but Private might be on to something. Our auto's gone loco.
Kowalski: That's impossible.
Skipper: More than that, it's unauthorized, and that won't fly in this unit.
Kowalski: In your haste you must have added some parts from my projects. There's your ghost, Rico. My targeting system was targeting you.
Skipper: So, no ghost?
Kowalski: No ghost. Let's hear it for jibber-jabber!
Maurice: What's going on there?
King Julien: It looks like someone is sacrificing the penguins to the volcano. Eh, these things happen.
Hans: So, it all ends with fish.
Skipper: Just like Denmark.
Hans: I'll have you know I kissed your sister, on the lips!
Skipper: I don't have a sister, and if I did, she wouldn't have lips.
Hans: Oh. Then who did I kiss?
Hans: So, this Hoboken Zoo, is it nice?
Skipper: I'll be honest with you. It's a disease-ridden cesspool.
Skipper: Well, that ties up that past chapter of my life in a neat little bow.
Private: Except I still don't know what happened in Denmark.
Skipper: Oh, Private. That's between me, Hans and the Danes. Get your own secret life.
Skipper: What's your name, soldier?
Skipper: What's your rank?
Skipper: What's your secret shame?
Skipper: He's fine.
Mort: [Biting into a penny] Ow! This gumball is too ouchy!
Private: Silly Mort. That's a penny.
Mort: Oh. [Bites into penny again] Aaaaooow! This penny is too ouchy!
Skipper: [the penguins have been captured] Well, men, all I can say is... you had to use the turbo, didn't you?
Kowalski: You know I can't resist overkill!
Maurice: You've never heard of April Fools, have you?
King Julien: Yeah? Well, you've never heard of... January Jerks, have you? No, you have not!
Maurice: That's because you just made it up.
King Julien: Yeah, well... Okay, you got me there. I did make it up. But Christmas Steve, he's real.
Mort: Steve knows if you've been bad or good... and that's creepy.
Skipper: Ringtail! It's not April first.
King Julien: Silly penguin. It's always April first somewhere.
Skipper: You have no idea how a calendar works, do you?
King Julien: Of course. [Maurice brings him a calendar with Julien on the cover] The Julien Calendar. Gorgeous picture of me on the top, random numbers on the bottom.
Mort: My favorite month is Julie-anuary.
Skipper: You do know about koalas, do you, Private?
Private: Aside from their fuzzy cuteness, no.
Skipper: Me neither. Kowalski, enlighten us.
Kowalski: Koala: a herbivorous nocturnal marsupial.
Skipper: In Americano, please.
Kowalski: They eat nothing but leaves, the ladies carry their young in pouches, and they sleep all day.
Skipper: Oh. A hippie.
Savio: Now if you'll excuse me, I must digest your meaty allegations.
Skipper: I wasn't born yesterday. If I were, I'd be in diapers. Which apparently I am not.
Kowalski: What would Leonardo DaVinci do?
Private: Paint a haunting portrait of a woman smiling enigmatically?
Skipper: Couldn't hurt, I guess.
Kowalski: [makes a flying device out of trash] Create and innovate!
Private: I was just trying to help.
Leonard: You call this helping? What's your idea of not helping?
Skipper: You don't want to know.
Private: We're just trying to help.
Leonard: Help? You want to help? Then don't help!
Skipper: We don't take orders, we give orders.
Kowalski: Yes, that is the traditional rescuer-rescuee relationship.
Marlene: Hey, guys. What's with the teddy bear?
Skipper: That's classified, because I don't want to talk about it. [Night falls and Leonard wakes up]
Marlene: Hey, little guy.
Leonard: Oh, no! You're the otter! Back off! [Runs away]
Marlene: Uh, what just happened?
Skipper: Looks like you have a reputation, Marlene.
Kowalski: It appears to be a Hoboken surprise.
Private: Maybe it's a unicorn!
Skipper: Private, the transfer is from New Jersey, not Rainbow Ponyland.
Private: How come I always have to be the bait?
Skipper: Because you're gullible and expendable. That's a two-fer.