quark
itcdr
jaaa
 | Unknown Episode: Maurice: Mort sure likes that game. King Julien: Yes. It keeps Mort from annoying me by touching the royal feet, so I like it too. King Julien: I don't like it! Maurice: But I thought you didn't like Mort touching your feet. King Julien: Yes, but I love rejecting Mort. It makes me feel all kingly. But how am I to feel kingly now? Maurice: Uh, the crown? The throne? The big fits of the crazies? King Julien: Yes, those help, but the rejecting Mort... ah, that's the sweet stuff, man. |
| Unknown Episode: Skipper: What do you see, Private? Private: The majestic Grand Canyon. Skipper: I've got my eye on some kid and his beagle in a pumpkin patch. What a blockhead. |
| Unknown Episode: King Julien: Maurice, my yoyoyo is defective! Maurice: Yo-yo. Two yos. King Julien: Well mine has three yos, maybe more, but it is not working, so no-yos. Maurice: [Takes yo-yo and does tricks with it] Seems fine to me. You just need practice. King Julien: Practice is for those who are not perfect. |
| Unknown Episode: Kowalski: It's starting. The traditional first steps of the potty dance. King Julien: I never learned that dance, because, you know, I just go wherever I am. King Julien: What? I'm the king. It's cool |
| Unknown Episode: King Julien: You must be wondering about that. Kowalski: I pass no judgement on you lemurs and your sick, depraved habits. |
| Unknown Episode: Private: Looks like someone got a new circuit board. Kowalski: Yes, state of the art processor, hollah! Private: So where did you get it? Kowalski: Uh, I... [mumbles] Private: Come again? Kowalski: I got it from... [Mumbles] Private: You got it from where? Kowalski: I took it from Mort's video game, all right? I stole from poor, innocent Mort to fuel my own scientific ambitions! But it was totally worth it. See? [Turns on psychotron] Private: [thoughts transmitted from psychotron] Oh, Kowalski. How could you? Skipper: [Thoughts transmitted from phsychotron] This side of you makes me want to throw up in my beak! Rico: [Thoughts transmitted from psychotron] Fiiiiish! Kowalski: [Thoughts transmitted from psychotron] They're right. I'm a monster. A selfish monster! Kowalski: Oh, what have I done? [Throws psychotron across room; King Julien enters and poses next to psychotron] King Julien: [thoughts transmitted from psychotron] I would look good in pantaloons. King Julien: Yes, I agree with the voice that sounds like me. Pantaloons would accent my regality, but that is not why I'm here. |
| Unknown Episode: Skipper: What are you doing, Private? Private: Following the rules of the road. Skipper: That's no way to treat fuel-injected nitro-charged motorized mayhem. Out of the car! |
| Unknown Episode: King Julien: Maurice, who is disturbing the royal sleep? Who? Who? Mort: Is it the penguin in the car? Because I think it's the penguin in the car. King Julien: Whoever it is, I want it stopped. Maurice, do something. Maurice: What am I supposed to do? [Rico smashes the car] Other than that, which I totally did. |
| Unknown Episode: Private: If I didn't know any better, I'd say that car has it in for Rico. Kowalski: Oh, Private. There you go, anthropomorphizing the inanimate, again. Skipper: That's a lot of egghead jibber-jabber, but that doesn't explain why our car is after Rico. |
| Unknown Episode: Kowalski: Anthropomorphizing the inanimate with a supernatural twist? Preposterous. Skipper: Maybe so, but Private might be on to something. Our auto's gone loco. Kowalski: That's impossible. Skipper: More than that, it's unauthorized, and that won't fly in this unit. |
| Unknown Episode: Kowalski: In your haste you must have added some parts from my projects. There's your ghost, Rico. My targeting system was targeting you. Skipper: So, no ghost? Kowalski: No ghost. Let's hear it for jibber-jabber! |
| Unknown Episode: Maurice: What's going on there? King Julien: It looks like someone is sacrificing the penguins to the volcano. Eh, these things happen. |
| Unknown Episode: Hans: So, it all ends with fish. Skipper: Just like Denmark. |
| Unknown Episode: Hans: I'll have you know I kissed your sister, on the lips! Skipper: I don't have a sister, and if I did, she wouldn't have lips. Hans: Oh. Then who did I kiss? |
| Unknown Episode: Hans: So, this Hoboken Zoo, is it nice? Skipper: I'll be honest with you. It's a disease-ridden cesspool. |
| Unknown Episode: Skipper: Well, that ties up that past chapter of my life in a neat little bow. Private: Except I still don't know what happened in Denmark. Skipper: Oh, Private. That's between me, Hans and the Danes. Get your own secret life. |
| Unknown Episode: Skipper: What's your name, soldier? Private: Private. Skipper: What's your rank? Private: Private. Skipper: What's your secret shame? Private: Private! Skipper: He's fine. |
| Unknown Episode: Mort: [Biting into a penny] Ow! This gumball is too ouchy! Private: Silly Mort. That's a penny. Mort: Oh. [Bites into penny again] Aaaaooow! This penny is too ouchy! |
| Unknown Episode: Skipper: [the penguins have been captured] Well, men, all I can say is... you had to use the turbo, didn't you? Kowalski: You know I can't resist overkill! |
| Unknown Episode: Maurice: You've never heard of April Fools, have you? King Julien: Yeah? Well, you've never heard of... January Jerks, have you? No, you have not! Maurice: That's because you just made it up. King Julien: Yeah, well... Okay, you got me there. I did make it up. But Christmas Steve, he's real. Mort: Steve knows if you've been bad or good... and that's creepy. |
| Unknown Episode: Skipper: Ringtail! It's not April first. King Julien: Silly penguin. It's always April first somewhere. Skipper: You have no idea how a calendar works, do you? King Julien: Of course. [Maurice brings him a calendar with Julien on the cover] The Julien Calendar. Gorgeous picture of me on the top, random numbers on the bottom. Mort: My favorite month is Julie-anuary. |
| Unknown Episode: Skipper: You do know about koalas, do you, Private? Private: Aside from their fuzzy cuteness, no. Skipper: Me neither. Kowalski, enlighten us. Kowalski: Koala: a herbivorous nocturnal marsupial. Skipper: In Americano, please. Kowalski: They eat nothing but leaves, the ladies carry their young in pouches, and they sleep all day. Skipper: Oh. A hippie. |
| Unknown Episode: Savio: Now if you'll excuse me, I must digest your meaty allegations. |
| Unknown Episode: Skipper: I wasn't born yesterday. If I were, I'd be in diapers. Which apparently I am not. |
| Unknown Episode: Kowalski: What would Leonardo DaVinci do? Private: Paint a haunting portrait of a woman smiling enigmatically? Skipper: Couldn't hurt, I guess. Kowalski: [makes a flying device out of trash] Create and innovate! |
| Unknown Episode: Private: I was just trying to help. Leonard: You call this helping? What's your idea of not helping? Skipper: You don't want to know. |
| Unknown Episode: Private: We're just trying to help. Leonard: Help? You want to help? Then don't help! Skipper: We don't take orders, we give orders. Kowalski: Yes, that is the traditional rescuer-rescuee relationship. |
| Unknown Episode: Marlene: Hey, guys. What's with the teddy bear? Skipper: That's classified, because I don't want to talk about it. [Night falls and Leonard wakes up] Marlene: Hey, little guy. Leonard: Oh, no! You're the otter! Back off! [Runs away] Marlene: Uh, what just happened? Skipper: Looks like you have a reputation, Marlene. |
| Unknown Episode: Kowalski: It appears to be a Hoboken surprise. Private: Maybe it's a unicorn! Skipper: Private, the transfer is from New Jersey, not Rainbow Ponyland. |
| Unknown Episode: Private: How come I always have to be the bait? Skipper: Because you're gullible and expendable. That's a two-fer. |
Facebook
Twitter