The New Batman Adventures - Episode Quotes

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The New Batman Adventures Quotes

	Season 2 / Episode 11: - Mad Love Harleen Quinzel: That's a real gasser, right Mr J? The Joker: [grabbing Harley by the hat] I make the punchlines here! Got it? Harleen Quinzel: Yes sir.
	Season 2 / Episode 11: - Mad Love The Joker: HARLEY! Harleen Quinzel: Hi puddin'! You're just in time to see the... The Joker: Excuse me just a minute. Harleen Quinzel: But puddin', I don't understand! Didn't you want to finally get rid of Batman? The Joker: Only if I do it, idiot! Harleen Quinzel: But it's still your plan, see? Harleen Quinzel: Everything just like you said, except I hung the guy upside down so he sees the little frowns as smiles. Now it all works! The Joker: Except you had to *explain* it to me! If you have to explain a joke, THAT IS NO JOKE! Harleen Quinzel: Now calm down, puddin'... The Joker: You've forgotten what I taught you a long time ago. One of the painful truths of comedy... The Joker: YOU ALWAYS TAKE SHOTS FROM FOLKS WHO JUST DON'T GET THE JOKE! The Joker: And don't call me puddin'.
	Season 2 / Episode 11: - Mad Love Bruce Wayne: [Talking to Joker on a moving train] She almost had me, you know. Arms and legs chained, dizzy from the blood rushing to my head. I had no way out other than convincing her to call you. I knew your massive ego wouldn't let anyone else take the honor of killing me. Although you have to admit she came a lot closer than you ever did... Puddin'.
	Season 2 / Episode 11: - Mad Love Harleen Quinzel: [last lines, as a heavily bandaged Harleen is taken into Arkham Assylum] Never again. No more obsession, no more craziness, no more Joker. I finally see that slime for what he is: a murderous, manipulative, irredeemable... [she turns her head to see a rose on her bedside table with a note attatched saying "Feel better soon. -- J."] Harleen Quinzel: ... angel!
	Season 2 / Episode 11: - Mad Love The Joker: A bat in the hand is worth two in the belfry.
	Season 2 / Episode 11: - Mad Love Harleen Quinzel: You know, for what it's worth, I actually enjoyed some of our romps, but there comes a time when a gal wants more. And now, all this gal wants is to settle down with her lovin' sweetheart. Batman: You, and the Joker? Harleen Quinzel: Right-a-rooney. Harleen Quinzel: I've never seen you laugh before! I don't think I like it! Harleen Quinzel: Cut it out! You're giving me the creeps! Batman: You little fool! The Joker doesn't love anything except himself. Wake up, Harleen. He had you pegged for hired help the minute you walked into Arkham.
	Season 2 / Episode 10: - Beware the Creeper Batman: Who are you? The Creeper: They call me...”Yellow-Skinned Wacky Man!" But I prefer the Creeper. Robin: Call Arkham, quick.
	Season 2 / Episode 10: - Beware the Creeper Harley Quinn: [singing] Happy anniversary, Mistah J/You're really swell and ok/It's seven years to the day/Take the night off, let's play... The Joker: Harley... Harley Quinn: Wanna try some of my pie? The Joker: Harley... Harley Quinn: I'm sure you'll want seconds.
	Season 2 / Episode 9: - Judgment Day Two-Face: Remind me to thank you later.
	Season 2 / Episode 9: - Judgment Day The Riddler: Hey, diddle diddle, time for a riddle.
	Season 2 / Episode 7: - Girl's Night Out The Penguin: That's right. I need chainsaws, dump-trucks, hedge-clippers, and a bottle of aspirin down here - now!
	Season 2 / Episode 7: - Girl's Night Out Reporter: Livewire, Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn. So who was responsible for the collar? Detective Harvey Bullock: Just a couple of rookies. Barbara Gordon: Rookies? Supergirl: You bum! Reporter: Impressive Detective Harvey Bullock: Well, they show some potential. Supergirl, Barbara Gordon: Yes! [They high five]
	Season 2 / Episode 3: - Cult of the Cat Selina Kyle: [Batman unexpectedly finds Catwoman napping in his Batmobile] About time you got here. Bruce Wayne: Let me guess. You needed a warm place to spend the night. Selina Kyle: Kind of. Bruce Wayne: I know of one. Jail.
	Season 1 / Episode 12: - Torch Song Cassidy: Let it go, Garfield. Whatever you thought we had is as cold as a burnt out fuse! Garfield Lynns: Hey! You're the expert on burning people, you little tramp!
	Season 1 / Episode 9: - Mean Seasons Calendar Girl: Strange, isn't it? Dinosaurs have been dead for millions of years, yet they still get parts in movies.
	Season 1 / Episode 9: - Mean Seasons Calendar Girl: NO! DON'T LOOK AT ME! Batgirl: But... she's beautiful. Batman: She can't see that now. All she can see are the flaws.
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - Joker's Millions Batgirl: [holding back Joker so he can't jump off the boat] Don't be stupid! You can't save that money! Joker: I don't want to save it! I want to go with it!
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - Joker's Millions The Joker: I may be crazy enough to take on Batman, but the IRS? No thank you!
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - Joker's Millions Joker: [to his barking hyenas] Yeah, yeah, you're hungry, I'm hungry. Do me a favor and eat each other.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Never Fear Guru: If I were you, I wouldn't move. Batman: You're not me.
	Season 1 / Episode 3: - Cold Comfort Bruce Wayne: You don't know the first thing about the American justice system, do you? Robin: I know it's bogus. Bruce Wayne: And how did you come to that well-thought-out conclusion? Robin: Watching you.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Holiday Knights Little Boy: [Bullock is doing undercover as a mall Santa] You're not the real Santy Claus. Detective Harvey Bullock: Sure I am. Wanna see my gun?
	Unknown Episode: Bruce Wayne: What are you doing tonight? Barbara Gordon: Same thing we do every night, Pinky! Bruce Wayne: What? Barbara Gordon: ...Never mind.
	Unknown Episode: 80's Batman: This isn't a mudhole. It's an operating table. And I'm the surgeon.
	Unknown Episode: Robin: It's your kind of show, Puke face: a double feature.
	Unknown Episode: Nightwing: I saw him. Batgirl: Didn't look like it.
	Unknown Episode: Nightwing: You take the brown one. I'll take... the other brown one.