The New Adventures of Old Christine - Episode Quotes

Fun Facts: » Trivia » Quotes » Goofs

The New Adventures of Old Christine Quotes

	Season 3 / Episode 5: - Between A Rock And A Hard Place Christine Campbell: [Christine is stuck near the top of a climbing wall; shouts down] Matthew! Is that you? Where were you? I need you to help get me off! Matthew: I need you to use different words!
	Season 3 / Episode 1: - The Big Bang Richard Campbell: With men, the sex window is always open. Even if it's not open, it's still unlatched. And even if it's not unlatched, there's always the doggie sex door.
	Season 3 / Episode 1: - The Big Bang Matthew: I got my cadaver today, and something weird happened. Christine Campbell: It moved. You see, they take them out before they're dead. That's why I don't sign the back of those forms.
	Season 3 / Episode 1: - The Big Bang Christine Campbell: You smell like chocolate. Is that racist?
	Season 2 / Episode 17: - Strange Bedfellows Christine Campbell: You want to play dirty? I can play dirty. I'm filthy. Ask my brother.
	Season 2 / Episode 17: - Strange Bedfellows Audrey: Do the world a favor, limit your voting to American Idol.
	Season 2 / Episode 16: - Undercover Brother Christine Campbell: It's so depressing. It's like I've lost my mojo. Matthew: I think they have mojo replacement therapy for women your age.
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - The Champ Matthew: I thought she'd just spend the night and leave. Then she made eggs. I thought she would eat the eggs, then leave. Then she took a bath. I thought she would take a bath, then leave. Then she took a nap. I thought she would take a nap, then leave. Then she went sunbathing, and there she is. Richard Campbell: It's like a sexy Dr. Seuss book. Matthew: I don't want her to stay. I don't like her anyway.
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - The Champ Christine Campbell: My brain says no, but my pants say off.
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - The Champ Richard Campbell: Christine, you've sunk to a new low. You haven't just hit the bottom of the barrel, you've gone under the barrel and dug a hole to Japan. Then you went to the nearest dirty futon and traded underwear with the Iron Chef.
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - Oh God Yes Christine Campbell: We agreed that Richie would get his spiritual education at home. Richard Campbell: Watching Touched by an Angel is not a spiritual education. Christine Campbell: It is if you light incense.
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - Oh God Yes Matthew: When do you meditate. Christine Campbell: In the tub. Matthew: That's not meditation, that's mas... Christine Campbell: Stop!
	Season 1 / Episode 10: - No Fault Divorce Barb: Um, Christine, you've got to get out there. There's a group of ladies in the bathroom who are about to riot. Everyone who works out on Wednesday is on the same cycle, and you're out of Maxi Pads. It's like a CSI crime scene in there.