The Mighty Boosh (UK) Quotes

The Mighty Boosh (UK)

- Episode Quotes

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The Mighty Boosh (UK) Quotes

	Season 3 / Episode 5: - Party Tony Harrison: I've got it Saboo! An idea is formulating! Saboo: What? Tony Harrison: Fleetwood Mac's "Tusk," in its entirety! Saboo: Are you insane? There's at most... one track I can get away with off maybe... "Rumours." Tony Harrison: Come on! "Tusk," in its entirety, with the pauses as Lindsay Buckingham intended! Watch the room crumble at the aura of the H-Man! Saboo: Why not just give me a .44 so I can spray my brains across the decks? Tony Harrison: What is your beef with the Mac? Saboo: The same beef every right thinking man has, they are bullshit munchers!
	Season 3 / Episode 5: - Party Saboo: Oi Sweetheart, wrap this shit up - you're having a nightmare!
	Season 3 / Episode 5: - Party Tony Harrison: Feel my multi-hexagonal-textured-alien-barbed penis inside you!
	Season 3 / Episode 4: - The Strange Tale of the Crack Fox Crack Fox: Everything's different in the world of me!
	Season 3 / Episode 4: - The Strange Tale of the Crack Fox Crack Fox: This old peach, why it's my hat sir! Look! Vince Noir: Yeah... Crack Fox: Peach Hat!
	Season 3 / Episode 3: - The Crimp Vince Noir: I haven't got anything inside. I'm like a beach ball.
	Season 3 / Episode 3: - The Crimp Vince Noir: Not everything has to be funny you know... sometimes life can take a serious turn, colors can fade to black. Howard Moon: Have you got my script?
	Season 3 / Episode 1: - Eels The Board of Shamen: We are super magic men/We stay out ‘til five A.M./Though we live by Shamen laws/What goes on tour, stays on tour.
	Season 3 / Episode 1: - Eels Naboo: Oh and Howard, I don't care what you do on your own time, don't advertise it on the front of the shop. Howard Moon: What? That wasn't me! It was graffiti artists! Bollo: No smoke without fire. Howard Moon: Why does everyone keep saying that? What about smoke machines? Bollo: [shrugs] Dry ice.
	Season 3 / Episode 1: - Eels The Hitcher: [to Howard Moon] You oughta be careful boy - there's alotta weirdos around 'ere, lotta nasty people... [leers]... lotta nutters. But I'm gonna protect you boy. 'Cos I love you. In fact if you weren't a geezer I'd be rapin' you be'ind the counter right now.
	Season 3 / Episode 1: - Eels The Hitcher: [leers] Do I look like a reasonable man to you, or a peppermint nightmare? Howard Moon: [timidly] The first one? The Hitcher: Wrong.
	Season 3 / Episode 1: - Eels The Hitcher: [in Victorian-Electro song] The past and future, combining to make something not quite as good as either.
	Season 3 / Episode 1: - Eels The Hitcher: [randomly playing chords on the piano] EELS! EELS! EELS! Join in with me, boy. Howard Moon: [timidly] Eels? The Hitcher: Yeah, It’s a good one, ain't it?
	Season 3 / Episode 1: - Eels Howard Moon: We're in trouble. We've got to get out of town. Vince Noir: Just calm down and tell me what happened. Howard Moon: This man came into the shop, a cockney! He urinated in my face, and... [turns to camera] we've seen all this. Can we just cut to something else while I explain it? [cuts to a game of Pong for a few seconds] Howard Moon: ...We've got to get a thousand Euros by midnight or we're dead! [turns to camera] Thank you. [the Pong game beeps off-screen in response]
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - Old Gregg The Funky Merman Vince Noir: I'm a little bit peckish, have you got any olives? Colin: No Vince Noir: Hummus? Colin: No Vince Noir: Stuffed vine-leaves?
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - Old Gregg The Funky Merman Howard Moon: Don't kill me. I've got so much to give.
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - Old Gregg The Funky Merman Kodiak Jack: Have you ever had a mountain goat grab you by the scrotum and run away with it and then sell it on ebay a day later? Howard Moon: Err, no. Kodiak Jack: You ever been Rohypnoled by a swan, woke up in Cancun? Howard Moon: No. Kodiak Jack: Ever been to a key party with a herd of rhino? Well, I have! And it ain't purty! Howard Moon: Right.
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - Fountain of Youth Howard Moon: Time is calling out my name. Howard Moon: [whispers] Howard. Howard Moon: Playing the final moves of it's game. Howard Moon: [whispering again] Chess.
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - Fountain of Youth Vince Noir: Soup, soup a tasty. Soup, soup a spicey. Carrot and coriander. Chilli chowder. Crouton, crouton crunchy friends in a liquid broth. I am Gespatio. Ooo. I am a summer soup. Mmm. Miso, Miso fighting in the dojo. Miso, miso Oriental prince in the land of SOUP!
	Season 2 / Episode 3: - Nanageddon Saboo: Live your life? You live with a couple of dossbags and an ape! Bollo: Grrrrr! Saboo: What? You are an ape! Bollo: Ohhhh....ye.
	Season 2 / Episode 3: - Nanageddon Saboo: He’s got no legs! He cannot walk! Tony Harrison: How dare you! I come fully equipped with a papoose! If you need to move me around I slot in the back like a peanut! If you are against the papoose system I have got a wheel that clicks into my chin like a skate!
	Season 2 / Episode 3: - Nanageddon Lead Shaman: Sometimes I wonder about this team I've put together...
	Season 2 / Episode 2: - The Priest and The Beast Spider Dijon: Argh, my pancreas!
	Season 2 / Episode 2: - The Priest and The Beast Rudy Van Disarzio: Put away those fiery biscuits!
	Season 2 / Episode 2: - The Priest and The Beast Howard Moon: What the hell are you wearing? Vince Noir: [wearing a glitter jumpsuit] This... is the mirror ball suit. Howard Moon: [sighs] I've been up for four days trying to find our new musical direction, yeah? You're in this band as well! What have you been doing? Vince Noir: I do the costumes, you do the music. That's the agreement. And this, my friend, represents a major breakthrough on the sewing machine. Howard Moon: I'm not wearing that on stage. Vince Noir: I knew you'd say that. That's why I've made you... [pulls out brown jumpsuit] the tweed version! I call it the library suit. See this pocket? That's for your library card. See this pouch? Loose change, in case you've got any fines! Howard Moon: ...That's pretty good, actually.
	Season 2 / Episode 2: - The Priest and The Beast Howard Moon: I've had a breakthrough. I think I found a new note in between B and C. I always knew it was there. I'm gonna call it Howard's Note. Vince Noir: Wow. Howard Moon: I'll tell you how it works, right? I took a note, sawtooth wave, right off this pantomime four, ran it back here, re-jammed it through itself, looped it back, mixed it with the sound of this crab committing suicide, and let it stew in its own reverb for about three hours, right? And then I pump it all out through this shoe, to give it that oaky timbre. Vince Noir: Cool! Let's hear it, then.
	Season 2 / Episode 2: - The Priest and The Beast Vince Noir: [singing] Cyborg Patrick, tell me what you dream / Clockwork Margaret, skating on my mouse mat / In your tiny circuit boots, shoes of the future! Howard Moon: Trousers of the past!
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - The Call of The Yeti Vince Noir: Yeah well that's nothing [pulls trousers down] Nicky Clarke, hottest you can get, fell asleep on them when I was pissed.
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - Hitcher Bryan Ferry: I am Bryan Ferry! Naboo: Have you ever seen Bryan Ferry? Bryan Ferry: Yeah, what's your point? Naboo: You look like Terry Wogan.
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - Hitcher Vince Noir: [digging in a small paper bag] Do you want something to eat? Howard Moon: Yeah, actually. I'm quite hungry. Vince Noir: I've got it all in here. Ultra Violets. Flying Saucers. Strawberry Bootlace. C'mon. Get involved. Howard Moon: Have you got any food? Vince Noir: Yeah. Satin Zingers... Howard Moon: No, like real food - Vince Noir: ...Neptune Fizz. Howard Moon: - you ever heard of rice? Vince Noir: I've heard of Rice Krispies.

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