The Mentalist Quotes

The Mentalist

- Episode Quotes

Fun Facts:

	Season 2 / Episode 5: - Red Scare Deputy Nick Fisher: [Referring to Jane] What's this guy's problem? Teresa Lisbon: That would take way too long to answer.
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - Red Scare Patrick Jane: The ghost has something to do with Foster's death. Teresa Lisbon: No, it doesn't because ghosts don't exist. Patrick Jane: They don't exist in your mind. But if you believe they exist then... they exist.
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - Red Scare Patrick Jane: It's all fake, because my credulous Van Pelt, spirits are smoke and mirrors. And that's all they are.
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - Red Scare Grace Van Pelt: What was that? Wayne Rigsby: Probably rats. Grace Van Pelt: Ugh, God no. I hate rats. Wayne Rigsby: Oh it's just a ghost then. Grace Van Pelt: You don't believe in ghosts. Wayne Rigsby: Yeah, but you do. Go upstairs if you like. I'll take this one. Grace Van Pelt: Oh, thanks. That's okay.
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - Red Scare Wayne Rigsby: Grace, I love you. I've loved you from the first moment I met you. Screw the rules. Screw CBI. I need you. Grace Van Pelt: I... uh- that's... um Wayne Rigsby: Unless you stop me, I'm going to kiss you now.
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - Red Scare Lillian Foster: I can't help thinking that if I'd stayed there, if I had just gone and talked to Alan, he'd still be alive. Patrick Jane: Mm. Most likely you'd both be dead. Lillian Foster: With the way I feel, I might prefer that. Patrick Jane: That feeling with pass. Lillian Foster: What do you know about that? Patrick Jane: Enough.
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - Red Scare Patrick Jane: [Reading a letter] "If fortune is what you seek sincere, the only place to look is hear." Hear is spelled h-e-a-r. Philip Raimey: I assumed it was a mistake. Patrick Jane: There are no mistakes. Let's go.
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - Red Scare Patrick Jane: Lisbon. Lisbon. I - you - this. Lisbon... Teresa Lisbon: Bite me! We're done for the night! [Everyone leaves] Patrick Jane: "Bite me?" Teresa Lisbon: It's too much? Patrick Jane: Uh, a smidge. Worked. It's fine. Just a little over the top.
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - Red Scare Grace Van Pelt: [to Rigsby] Listen about the other thing. It's... I, uh... maybe it's not the right time.
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - Red Scare Alan Foster: [Referring to a key Jane is holding] I wonder what it opens. Patrick Jane: Oh, I know what it opens. Alan Foster: What? [Jane mimes keeping his mouth closed] Teresa Lisbon: He's just messing with you. He's mean like that.
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - Red Scare Grace Van Pelt: So what was it? Patrick Jane: Beckworth was a collector. He collected hundreds of one thing. Some of the rarest, finest examples in the world. Worth tens of millions of dollars. Teresa Lisbon: So what was it? Patrick Jane: [Jane sniffs his drink] Mmm. Teresa Lisbon: What? Patrick Jane: Smells good. [Everyone realizes what's in Beckworth's treasure]
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - Red Menace Patrick Jane: There is one name programmed into every phone. Particularly into one belonging to a middle aged man that was wearing wedding band. Home. Nina Hodge: [On the phone] Hello? Patrick Jane: This Patrick Jane from the California Beareau of Investigation. I was wondering if you knew a man 6 feet tall, mid 40's, salt and pepper hair, grey custom made suit, weighing about 192 give or take. Nina Hodge: That's my husband! Gordon Hodge. Patrick Jane: Gordon Hodge. Nina Hodge: You said you were from CBI, is something wrong? Patrick Jane: Just a sec. [Hands the bluetooth to Lisbon] It's for you.
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - Red Menace Teresa Lisbon: Did you go to some interview school I've never heard of? Next time get the facts. Save the editorial. Wayne Rigsby: Yes ma'am. [Looks at Jane] Teresa Lisbon: I know Jane did it too. He's not a CBI agent. For you, I expect professional standards. Wayne Rigsby: Yes boss.
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - Red Menace Kimball Cho: [On the phone] Well, the DA says to stay away from them. They're bad news. Teresa Lisbon: Good sound lawyerly advice. I'll take that under advisement. [Ends the call. Then to Jane] Ready?
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - Red Menace Patrick Jane: You know you're a very good liar. Most people subconsciously signal dishonesty. But you, there's nothing. No inner conflict. Usually that's the mark of what shrinks like to call a sociopath. Von McBride: Well, if by sociopath you mean that if you cross me, I would enjoy watching you suffer pain before I kill you. Then yeah, I'm a sociopath. See ya.
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - Red Menace Wayne Rigsby: My dad was a biker. Kimball Cho: Really? I didn't know that. Wayne Rigsby: No? I thought you read my file. Kimball Cho: Well, it says he was a big time criminal, didn't specify any affiliations.
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - Red Menace Patrick Jane: People trapped in miserable lives always talk about escaping. Few actually do it. It's easier just to close your eyes and to pretend the misery doesn't exist.
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - Red Menace Felicia Gutherie: And what were you people doing out here anyway? Patrick Jane: Oh we thought you killed uh, Gordon Hodge. So Agent Cho and Rigsby are watching you. [to Lisbon] Oh come on. She was never gonna buy "We just happened to be in the neighborhood."
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - Red Menace Teresa Lisbon: It's good to see you care. Patrick Jane: You know sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.
	Season 2 / Episode 3: - Red Badge Teresa Lisbon: I didn't even pull the trigger on Tanner. Jane did. You signed off on him after one session. Dr. Roy Carmen: He has good mental health. Teresa Lisbon: Now I want to see your license to practice.
	Season 2 / Episode 3: - Red Badge Teresa Lisbon: All right then, look in the dumpsters. Let's get out of here. Grace Van Pelt: I did it last time. Wayne Rigsby: Aw man, I just got this suit. Kimball Cho: Okay, rock/paper/scissors on three: one... two... three.
	Season 2 / Episode 3: - Red Badge Patrick Jane: [Referring to the victim] Who is he? Teresa Lisbon: Name's William McTerr from San Francisco, serial child rapist. Served 6 years at Pelican Bay. Patrick Jane: And you know this how? Teresa Lisbon: I'm the one who sent him there. Patrick Jane: Ah. Teresa Lisbon: We're near Marie's Donuts. [Starts to leave] Anyone want to get a bearclaw after?
	Season 2 / Episode 3: - Red Badge Sam Bosco: [after Jane does an impression of Bosco] Well that's pretty good. You should get an act together. Can you do Barbara Streissand. Patrick Jane: Don't tempt me.
	Season 2 / Episode 3: - Red Badge Teresa Lisbon: Cho and I have a trial meeting with Deputy AG. Kimball Cho: Not if I throw myself into oncomin traffic first.
	Season 2 / Episode 3: - Red Badge Virgil Minelli: He knows as much about the McTerr case as you do. Teresa Lisbon: Thank you... I guess. Virgil Minelli: No, no. Don't - don't misunderstand me. If you're guilty, I want you nailed. I just don't want the Feebs strolling around my offices asking impertinent questions.
	Season 2 / Episode 3: - Red Badge Virgil Minelli: No. You failed the poly, Agent Lisbon. "Significant indications of deception" they say. You're relieved of duty agent. Report to admin for processing. Teresa Lisbon: Boss... Virgil Minelli: Don't!
	Season 2 / Episode 3: - Red Badge Dr. Roy Carmen: Teresa Lisbon in my office, talking. You must be desperate. Teresa Lisbon: I failed a poly. I don't know what I'm going to do.
	Season 2 / Episode 3: - Red Badge Teresa Lisbon: Van Pelt's working late. She's a hard worker. She might do well, if she manages not to sleep with Rigsby.
	Season 2 / Episode 3: - Red Badge Sam Bosco: I'll handle it. Will you please trust me? Teresa Lisbon: I'm sorry. You don't understand. Later you will. Sam Bosco: Are - are you medicated or something? Teresa Lisbon: Okay, I'm all right! I'm fine. [Notices everyone staring at her] WHAT THE HELL IS EVERYBODY LOOKING AT? I'M FINE! JUST STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME! I'M DONE WITH THIS CRAP! I AM DONE! Get out my way! I'm sick of everybody!
	Season 2 / Episode 3: - Red Badge Virgil Minelli: You're worried about her?... You think she might do something stupid? Patrick Jane: Suicide? No... If she did, she wouldn't blame the beaureau. Virgil Minelli, Patrick Jane: That's not my concern at all. I should've taken her off duty weapon. Patrick Jane: I'm sure she'll be all right.

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