The Mary Tyler Moore Show - Episode Quotes

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The Mary Tyler Moore Show Quotes

	Season 6 / Episode 17: - The Seminar Mary Richards: Yeah, and this is Mary... Queen of Scots.
	Season 6 / Episode 7: - Chuckles Bites the Dust Lou Grant: Lucky more people weren't hurt. Lucky the elephant didn't go after anyone else! Murray Slaughter: That's right. After all, you know how hard it is to stop after one peanut.
	Season 4 / Episode 23: - Two Wrongs Don't Make a Writer Ted Baxter: Come on, Mary, if you were me, would you have any self-respect? Mary Richards: Gee, I wish you put it another way, Ted.
	Season 4 / Episode 23: - Two Wrongs Don't Make a Writer Lou Grant: Where do you get off changing Murray's copy? Ted Baxter: It was flat, Lou! I didn't change the facts, I just jazzed up the language. Lou Grant: Jazzed up? Jazzed up? Ted, you do not change the wording of a direct quote. And I do not believe that the Queen of England calls the French Ambassador "The Dude from Frog Town."
	Season 4 / Episode 21: - Ted Baxter Meets Walter Cronkite Mary Richards: [meeting Walter Kronkite] So nice to meet you. Really. Nice. Nice. Really.
	Season 4 / Episode 21: - Ted Baxter Meets Walter Cronkite Murray Slaughter: [meeting Walter Kronkite] So nice to meet you. Really. Nice. Really.
	Season 4 / Episode 12: - We Want Baxter Woman: Mr. Baxter, what is your position on School Tax? Ted Baxter: I'm against it. I don't think school kids should be taxed.
	Season 4 / Episode 10: - The Dinner Party Rhoda Morgenstern: Mary, I thought you knew. Your parties are, uh, disasters. I mean, I thought you knew. How could you not know that? Mary Richards: Yes, I know. Okay. I know. I knew. I just didn't know that anyone else knew.
	Season 4 / Episode 10: - The Dinner Party Lou Grant: It's not that I don't have a good time at your parties, Mary. I've had some of the worst times in my life. Agony.
	Season 4 / Episode 10: - The Dinner Party Lou Grant: Oh, it's just so depressing thinking about going to another one of your...
	Season 4 / Episode 10: - The Dinner Party Sue Ann Nivens: Mary dear, do you have any idea what happens if you let veal Prince Orloff sit in an oven too long? Mary Richards: No, what? Sue Ann Nivens: He dies.
	Season 4 / Episode 10: - The Dinner Party Rhoda Morgenstern: Mary, he could sit up there at the little table.
	Season 4 / Episode 9: - Love Blooms at Hemples Mary Richards: Rhoda. Rhoda *Fay*. It doesn't matter what the letter says. The important thing is that you don't send the letter at all.
	Season 4 / Episode 5: - Hi There, Sports Fans Mary Richards: Mr. Grant, please no. I've never fired anybody in my life. Lou Grant: Mary. Mary Richards: I had a cleaning lady once I couldn't fire. So I moved.
	Season 4 / Episode 2: - Angels in the Snow Rhoda Morgenstern: [picks up a small gift book in a store] Rhoda Morgenstern: Hey Mary - listen to this: "A friend is someone who's friendly... Even when it's raining... Even when it's nighttime... Even when it's snowing... Even when it isn't." $3.50.
	Season 4 / Episode 1: - The Lars Affair Phyllis Lindstrom: [after meeting Sue Ann Nivens] Who's Little Bo-Peep?
	Season 4 / Episode 1: - The Lars Affair Sue Ann Nivens: Now, if you want to tidy up in a hurry, think of your living room as a big clock. Start at midnight, and then go around the room working clockwise toward the kitchen. You'll be done in two shakes of a lamb's tail.
	Season 4 / Episode 1: - The Lars Affair Phyllis Lindstrom: I'll wait it out. Sooner or later, Lars is going to get tired of her. And he'll come back to me. And then I'm going to... punish him for this.
	Season 3 / Episode 24: - Mary Richards and the Incredible Plant Lady Mary Richards: If I know I can't have it, why look? Rhoda Morgenstern: If I felt that way I'd never go to a Paul Newman movie.
	Season 3 / Episode 23: - Put On a Happy Face Mary Richards: [accepting her Teddy Award] I usually look so much better than this.
	Season 3 / Episode 23: - Put On a Happy Face Rhoda Morgenstern: You're having a lousy streak. I happen to be having a terrific streak. Soon the world will be back to normal. Tomorrow you will meet a crown head of Europe and marry. I will have a fat attack, eat 3000 peanut butter cups and die.
	Season 3 / Episode 23: - Put On a Happy Face Lou Grant: [carrying Mary in the newsroom, after she slipped in the hall and sprained her foot] First we have to get you X-rayed. All we can do around here is get you Xeroxed.
	Season 3 / Episode 17: - My Brother's Keeper Phyllis Lindstrom: I just treat the piano casually as if it had always been there. Lars, of course, keeps bumping into it and cursing.
	Season 3 / Episode 7: - Just Around the Corner Dottie Richards: Don't forget to take your pill. Mary Richards: I won't.
	Season 3 / Episode 6: - Rhoda the Beautiful Mary Richards: Tell us, Miss Mary Jo Beth Ann Lou, what are some of your favorite hobbies? Rhoda Morgenstern: My favorite hobbies are cheerleading, liking people, and living in America.
	Season 3 / Episode 5: - It's Whether You Win or Lose Ted Baxter: Does three of a kind beat a flush? Gordy Howard: No, Ted. Ted Baxter: But it does beat two of a kind. Gordy Howard: Yes. Ted Baxter: What's a "kind"?
	Season 2 / Episode 24: - His Two Right Arms Murray Slaughter: With councilmen, municipal judges and sewer bonds I vote the straight [eeney-meeney-miney-] moe ticket.
	Season 2 / Episode 20: - The Care and Feeding of Parents Phyllis Lindstrom: Oh, Mary, you're just so Mary, Mary.
	Season 2 / Episode 20: - The Care and Feeding of Parents Bess Lindstrom: [looking for an escape] Gosh, I sure could use a cookie.
	Season 2 / Episode 19: - More Than Neighbors Mary Richards: [to Ted] You're going to have a lawyer look over a simple lease? Ted Baxter: An ounce of perversion is worth a pound of cure.