The Knights of Prosperity - Episode Quotes

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The Knights of Prosperity Quotes

	Season 1 / Episode 8: - Operation: Panic Room Francis 'Squatch' Squacieri: What did you have for dinner? It smells like the Black Hole of Calcutta in here! Gourishankar 'Gary' Subramaniam: Funny you should mention dinner, as I seem to be the only one here with food... Eugene Gurkin: Is that caviar? Gourishankar 'Gary' Subramaniam: Yes. And a mother-of-pearl spoon. Everybody can have some, except for Squatch. Francis 'Squatch' Squacieri: Who cares, I don't want any of your damn caviar!
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - Operation: Panic Room Francis 'Squatch' Squacieri: [after realizing Rockefeller needs to use the portapotty] Dear Lord, please let you not mean what I think you mean.
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - Operation: Panic Room Francis 'Squatch' Squacieri: I can't do the perp-walk dressed like this! They're gonna throw me in Bellvue with the cuckoo birds!
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - Operation: Panic Room Esperanza Villalobos: Most men, they say, "Esperanza, I love you," and then they make a beeline straight for my vagina. But not you all. You treat me as an equal, with respect. I really appreciate that you don't want to have the sex with me.
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - Operation: Panic Room Eugene Gurkin: Okay, guys, I got a genius plan. We form a human pyramid with Louis on top, and when Louis get's on top - Gourishankar 'Gary' Subramaniam: Chief? Eugene Gurkin: Yeah, Gary? Gourishankar 'Gary' Subramaniam: Please, no more genius ideas. Eugene Gurkin: What're you talking about? Gourishankar 'Gary' Subramaniam: Your genius ideas will get us all killed. Eugene Gurkin: Come on, Gary... Francis 'Squatch' Squacieri: Chief! I love you like a brother, but you did get us into this, so maybe you better just sit down and let the rest of us figure a way out. Eugene Gurkin: What? Look, I hate to pull rank, Squatch, but I am still kinda the leader around here - Rockefeller Butts: Maybe you better just lead your mouth to shuttin', Eugene. Eugene Gurkin: What the hey's goin' on, is this some kinda mutiny?
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - Operation: Panic Room Gourishankar 'Gary' Subramaniam: Esperanza, I would like to have sex with you. Eugene Gurkin: Didn't you not even listen to what she just said? Gourishankar 'Gary' Subramaniam: Yes, yes, I heard, but why should what she said change what I say? Just because she doesn't want me to want to have sex with her doesn't mean I magically don't want to have sex with her. I really do, I'm sorry, I swear I really do. Esperanza Villalobos: It's okay, Gary. I appreciate your honesty. Gourishankar 'Gary' Subramaniam: Really? So does that mean that we could - Esperanza Villalobos: [quickly] No. Gourishankar 'Gary' Subramaniam: But we only have two minutes and - Esperanza Villalobos: No.
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - Operation: Panic Room Francis 'Squatch' Squacieri: Even though I give you guys a hard time... I'm gonna miss youse. You all mean a lot to me, and you're a very special group of people. [beat] Louis Plunk: [to the tune of Beethoven's 5th] Gay-gay-gay-gay... Francis 'Squatch' Squacieri: Three minutes is plenty enough time for me to beat you to a pulp.
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - Operation: Panic Room Francis 'Squatch' Squacieri: [referring to the degree of Rockefeller's injury] Apollo 13 couldn't penetrate that buttock.
	Season 1 / Episode 5: - Operation: Ralph Gourishankar 'Gary' Subramaniam: We don't even have gay in India.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Operation: Deliver the Case Francis 'Squatch' Squacieri: Twenty-five grand in the hand is worth all of the stuff in Mick Jagger's apartment in the bush!
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Operation: Deliver the Case Francis 'Squatch' Squacieri: You're not a human being, you're an intern.
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Operation: Deliver the Case Francis 'Squatch' Squacieri: You know, Rockefeller, you're a very handsome man, Rockefeller Butts: Kiss my ass. Francis 'Squatch' Squacieri: If that would change your vote, I'm open to it.
	Season 1 / Episode 3: - Operation: Fighting Shape Simone Cashwell: Sir, is that a... coffee filter on your head?
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Eugene Gurkin: We're like Ocean's Eleven! Rockefeller Butts: More like Ocean's Idiots.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Francis Squatch Squacieri: I really liked the bridges, and I thought that Madison was an excellent county.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Eugene Gurkin: I was born with a plastic spork in my ass!
	Unknown Episode: Eugene Gurkin: [fails to climb a fence] Most of my athleticism is of a horizontal nature.
	Unknown Episode: Gourishankar 'Gary' Subramaniam: Let's rob Fran Drescher! Rockefeller Butts: She got that Nanny money.
	Unknown Episode: Gourishankar 'Gary' Subramaniam: Question. How much did you pay for that large photo of Mick Jagger? Eugene Gurkin: 32 bucks. [loud exclamations from the group] Esperanza Villalobos: Why do we need this? Gourishankar 'Gary' Subramaniam: You could've got half the size, and we could sit here. [moves chair forward] And it would only cost 16 dollars. [moves chair forward] And 8 dollars. [moves chair forward] And 4 dollars. Rockefeller Butts: What about wallet size? Eugene Gurkin: We are robbing Mick Jagger, okay? You get a large photo of Mick Jagger, okay? That's how its done people!