The Greatest American Hero - Episode Quotes

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The Greatest American Hero Quotes

	Season 1 / Episode 6: - Reseda Rose Motorcycle Cop: [as Ralph goes running and leaping past] This is 16-Mary in pursuit of eastbound mental case.
	Season 1 / Episode 6: - Reseda Rose Ralph Hanley: I can't for the life of me fly straight; I crash more often than the commodity market. I'm not equipped to do this job, Pam. What do I know about being a... Pam Davidson: A hero? Ralph Hanley: I'm about as heroic as a chicken sandwich.
	Season 1 / Episode 6: - Reseda Rose Lone Ranger: Everybody loves the Lone Ranger. Ralph Hanley: [in a deep, dramatic voice] "Some thought he was on the side of the outlaw, many knew him as a lone rider dealing out justice to the law-abiding citizenry. None knew where he came from and none knew where he went." Lone Ranger: Hey, you really are a fan. Ralph Hanley: Oh, you bet, you bet I am. Only when I was a kid it didn't sound so, uh... Lone Ranger: So, uh, corny? Ralph Hanley: Yeah. Lone Ranger: See, I don't think it's corny. I think it's important. In the cold light justice and morality always look corny. And you can't wave the flag and look cool. But like it or not, our society needs its heroes. Ralph Hanley: Anybody in a mask tried dealing out justice today they'd probably lock him up. Lone Ranger: Well, maybe. But I don't think that'd stop the Lone Ranger. Do you? Ralph Hanley: [Thoughtfully] No.
	Season 1 / Episode 6: - Reseda Rose Ralph Hanley: [to the discouraged Bill] Like it or not, Bill, I have a responsibility. This world needs its heroes, ya know? This society needs someone to look up to. Pam Davidson: We got that straight from the Lone Ranger.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - The Greatest American Hero (1) Pam Davidson: [After Ralph tells her about the suit] [incredulous] Good God, Ralph, super powers?
	Unknown Episode: Bill Maxwell: She probably thought she saw what she said she thought she saw.
	Unknown Episode: Bill Maxwell: You're about as religious as a Las Vegas nightclub owner.
	Unknown Episode: Bill Maxwell: If it's trouble you're looking for, you've just come across the West Coast distributor.
	Unknown Episode: Ralph Hinkley: I'm not quitting my job. How am I supposed to eat? Go down to the welfare office and stand in the Superhero line?
	Unknown Episode: Bill Maxwell: Freeze! F.B.I.! You're busted, fella!
	Unknown Episode: Ralph Hinkley: Look at it this way, you're one step ahead of Lois Lane. She never found out who Clark Kent really was.
	Unknown Episode: Bill Maxwell: If I'm not supposed to run this show, then why did our friends from the twilight zone put me aboard? Pam Davidson: Comic relief?
	Unknown Episode: Sgt. Jenson: You're the only one that can save the world from destruction. If you fail... this planet will simply turn to dust.
	Unknown Episode: Ralph Hinkley: Bill, are you OK? What's wrong with your knees? Bill Maxwell: Fear. Or... I'm drunk. Ralph Hinkley: No, you're not drunk. Bill Maxwell: Then I'm alive! Bill Maxwell: Thank you, Ralph. Thanks very much!
	Unknown Episode: Ralph Hinkley: It's a bird. It's a plane. It's... [chuckles] Ralph Hinkley.
	Unknown Episode: Bill Maxwell: You get to be vice principal. Counselor... she's a junior partner. Yours truly, Dumbo Maxwell's chuggin' across the finish line... folks up in the gallery yellin' down "Go, geezer! Go!"
	Unknown Episode: Bank Robber: Who are you? Ralph Hinkley: The tooth fairy. [punch]
	Unknown Episode: Bill Maxwell: They give... and office like THIS to a kid... a GIRL? Come on now, counselor. I wasn't born yesterday. Pam Davidson: No, it was more like 1880, wasn't it, Bill? Bill Maxwell: That's very funny.
	Unknown Episode: Bill Maxwell: This stinks. I hate this.
	Unknown Episode: Pam Davidson: I am disgusted with the both of you. Ralph Hinkley: Why? Bill Maxwell: About what? Pam Davidson: I don't know yet.
	Unknown Episode: Bill Maxwell: She may be your girlfriend but she's my counselor and nobody messes with her. That's it.
	Unknown Episode: Ralph Hinkley: I mean I could kill the guy that designed this suit. Why couldn't it have... narrow lapels and a cutaway jacket? Why'd it have to be long johns and a cape?
	Unknown Episode: Pam Davidson: How about SCENARIO, Bill?
	Unknown Episode: Pam Davidson: I wouldn't use that phone, Bill. The hospital may want you for a lobotomy.
	Unknown Episode: Ralph Hinkley: Pam Davidson, my attorney, this is Bill Maxwell. We're in the superhero business together.
	Unknown Episode: Ralph Hinkley: You can't go because... WE'RE THE PACKAGE, BILL! Those little green guys they... they didn't pick us out by accident! We're supposed to do this as long as it takes. How many times have you told that to me?
	Unknown Episode: Tony Villicana: Pick your friends carefully huh? Alright, so maybe I'll pick a friend. Ralph Hinkley: Who ya gonna pick, Tony? Tony Villicana: I'll pick you. Ralph Hinkley: Hey, Tony, thank you. Thank you. I accept.
	Unknown Episode: Bill Maxwell: OK, let's not panic. Pam Davidson: I feel like panicking. I can panic if I want to panic.
	Unknown Episode: Ralph Hinkley: Pamela I love you very much and... I would like us to be a real team. Pam Davidson: [cries] Ralph, are you asking me to marry you? Ralph Hinkley: Yes I am. Pam Davidson: [cries, then nods happily] Yes.
	Unknown Episode: Pam Davidson: You go in there and you know what's going to happen? You're going to be sent away for so long, when you get out this suit's going to actually be in style.